Issue 30, Relationships

Dear Kallos: Will God Give Me “The One”?

Join our telegram channel

Dear Kallos: Will God Give Me “The One”?

“I’ve always had the “ideal guy” in mind — The One I will meet someday. Recently, thoughts of him have been consuming me and makes me want to have a boyfriend NOW! I’m also fearful of whether God will even give me “The One”, and the thought of waiting for years is scaring me. I’m stuck. This has been going on for months. SOS!!” — In need of love 

dear In need of love,

Thank you for your honesty and initiative in asking this question! Many young women grow up with an ideal guy in mind and long for the day when they can have a boyfriend, so you are definitely not alone. Firstly, I would like to encourage you to pick up a copy of Issue 29, where Gwen shares her similar struggle of battling loneliness in her singlehood and the precious lessons God has taught her in her teens and twenties.

Secondly, perhaps the way love has been portrayed on social media, the Internet, movies and dramas has given us an overly idealised image of love. The couple always ends up together and then the show ends, presumably leaving them to their “happily ever after”. They do not portray the hard work of building a relationship, which includes managing expectations, communication, sacrifice, and even reconciling after hurting one another through misunderstandings and quarrels.

Many of the couples I know would be quick to share that a relationship is not always the rosy picture they imagined it to be. It takes two happy, secure and independent people to make a relationship work. Someone once explained it to me in this way:

½ x ½ = ¼. But, 1 x 1 = 1. Two people who are not whole do not make each other whole. Rather, they often drain each other and keep on taking from each other, giving themselves only a fraction of what could have been a thriving relationship.

So, my encouragement to you is this: rather than seeing a boyfriend as “The One” who will make you complete and whole, focus your energies on finding