Issue 32, Love, Sexuality

Love & Sexuality: How Can I Help A Guy Friend Who Suffers From Sexual Impurity?

Love & Sexuality: How Can I Help A Guy Friend Who Suffers From Sexual Impurity?

“How can I help a guy friend who suffers from sexual impurity?”

At the end of the day, we are all human beings who struggle with sin, and guys and girls are no different. However, the struggles that guys have, while similar, are also very unique. More often than not, it may not be appropriate (not to mention awkward!) to help a guy who is struggling with sexual sin, and they will best be helped by an older male pastor, leader, or a group of guy friends.

Nonetheless, there are some things that I (Alina) can do as a girl to help our fellow brothers. Guys (and many girls!) are visual beings and it is often an uphill battle to keep their eyes “pure.” While our brothers must take responsibility for what they look at, as girls, we can also watch the way we dress so as to not create room for even more sexual temptation.

As a guy, I (Kevin) have found it helpful for guys to have a group of male friends with whom they can have open and honest conversations, and to meet up with often to pray and encourage each other because holiness is a lifelong journey. You can encourage your guy friend to find such a community. Lastly, keep him in prayer!

“What if you try to refrain yourself from sexual sin completely but there are times when you fall back into sin? Will God still forgive?”

We feel you and applaud your desire to abstain from sexual sin! As sinful beings, we are still often tempted to fulfill our fleshly desires, and end up falling back into sin. Yet, our God is a good and loving God who extends grace to us even when we do not deserve it. We believe that if you come with a repentant heart and one that truly desires for God to change you, God would hear your prayer and forgive you (1 John 1:9).

Repentance does not always mean that you are able to overcome sexual sin instantly, especially sexual addictions that have been ongoing for months or years. Real people need real time, and many sexual addictions take time, even years, to be broken with the help of God and His people. The key is to keep an attitude of humility and brokenness and to keep asking God for the power to overcome sin. Don’t be discouraged! Your constant wrestling, struggling, and seemingly unending cycle of repentance is also a sign that the Holy Spirit is at work in transforming your heart.

 

 

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