CHALLENGE RULES
- Before the challenge begins, spend some time reading through a list of verses on speech and the power of words. Meditate on them and ask God to show you the power of words and the importance of watching what you say.
- For one week, when you feel tempted to gossip, be rude, or snap back at others, refer to the practical handles provided to help you out.
Challengers: Sarah Chen, 17
1. I play tennis
2. I have a sweet tooth
3. I enjoy playing Christian music on my guitar
VERSES ON THE POWER OF WORDS
– PROVERBS 13:3, 16:24, 18:19, 18:31
– MATTHEW 15:18,12:36
– EPHESIANS 4:29
– COLOSSIANS 3:8, 4:6
– JAMES 3:3–6, 9–12
PRACTICAL HANDLES FOR TAMING THE TONGUE!
• Take a deep breath and count to 10 before snapping back when you are angry.
• Choose to walk away instead of engaging in gossip sessions.
• Be firm to make your stand that you do not wish to engage in gossip sessions.
• Ask yourself, “Do I want a friend to be sharing my personal life with others?” when you are tempted to divulge a friend’s sharing with you.
• Ask yourself, “If Jesus is sitting here and is a part of this conversation, would He be pleased at my behaviour?”
• Begin your day with prayer and ask God to give you wisdom and awareness over your words.
• Choose to speak words that edify and inspire instead.
FIRST THOUGHTS
After meditating on the verses provided, I had these thoughts and reflections:
– Words can easily tear people down and can leave a long-lasting scar on people’s hearts.
– Words can also build people up — more than you can imagine.
– What we choose to say determines the kind of relationship we have with the people around us.
– A slip of the tongue happens easily, thus, not only do we need to be mindful of what we say, but we should also surround ourselves with godly friends and remove ourselves from ‘dangerous situations’.
Initially, I thought it would be a simple challenge for me as I am cautious with my words. However, on closer reflection, I realised that I can be quite harsh towards my family members (more specifically my younger siblings). I also easily find myself in the middle of a gossip session with friends. Even though I don’t often contribute, I asked myself: Is agreeing and allowing the conversation to continue equally as bad?
I struggle with my tone and word choices towards my siblings the most. It usually comes off as irritation whenever they ask me for help and can even come across as condescending. As an older sibling, I feel like I have a sense of authority over my younger siblings and have probably developed such a tone over time.
As I see my family members every day, speaking to them this way has become a habit. I wonder how this challenge will go for me!
CHALLENGE TIME!
Day 1: At the start of the day, I tended to speak before I think, struggling to hold back what I wanted to say. For example, when I was training with my younger brother, I told him that he was not playing well instead of encouraging him to do better. In other words, my words tore him down rather than built him up. However, I identified this immediately and regretted what I said. The rest of the day was better — when I knew something unkind was about to come out of my mouth, I managed to stop myself.
Day 2: Today wasn’t difficult as I was mainly in school and I am usually very careful with my words when I am around friends. I think first impressions and reputation are very important in school, and thus I am subconsciously more careful about what I say.
Day 3: During CCA, my friends and I were talking about how one of the guys isn’t committed to the CCA and is a deadweight to the team. As he is my classmate, I contributed by telling them negative things about what he is like in class. I didn’t think much of it at first, but upon reflection, I think enjoying the conversation and wanting to hear the gossip also constitutes gossiping. I regretted what I said, especially since I consider him a friend, but during the conversation it just came out naturally.
On the bright side, I managed to stop myself from snapping at my sister when she annoyed me. I paused for a few seconds and asking myself, “If Jesus were here, would He be pleased with my behaviour?” before addressing her.
Day 4: I had Student Council Investiture today! I didn’t find it difficult to watch my speech as I spent time that morning meditating on the verses and was also in a good mood throughout the day. I also witnessed the power of encouragement and words of affirmation. Hearing my friends cheer me on and all the student councillors supporting one another was very heart-warming.
Day 5: I didn’t have much difficulty today except for one slip-up when I was very focused on my work and my brother asked me to identify a Chinese word. I said, “There’s a dictionary for a reason.” That probably demoralised him as he struggles with Chinese and I should have phrased it in a nicer way. I can work on controlling my tone and speech towards my siblings by stopping whatever I am doing when I speak to them, giving them my full attention. When I am distracted, I tend to be careless with my words and just return to my old habits.
Day 6 and 7: I met my friends from my previous school whom I haven’t seen in a very long time and shared a lot about my new school life and the people in it. On hindsight, I don’t think it was a good representation of who these people are. I completely left out the positive sides to them, and the conversation wasn’t very uplifting or encouraging.
LAST THOUGHTS
Even though I didn’t struggle much with my speech around my friends, I definitely did with my family! The list of verses and practical handles did come in handy actually! They really helped me start the day right as I looked at them every morning. Surprisingly, my prayers before meals helped to keep me in check too. They served as checkpoints throughout the day to talk to God and be reminded of my intention for the day, which was to watch my words. Simply pausing before speaking also helped a lot in being intentional about changing my phrasing of words and the tone I was about to speak in.
I will continue to meditate on the verses and cultivate a habit of watching my speech especially at home. I want to ask for God’s guidance every morning as well as be more encouraging towards people. I am definitely still a work in progress but I am glad that this challenge allowed me to be moulded more in this aspect!
