Kallos Team – Kallos

Finding My Purpose And Remaining Faithful In Sports – Chui Ling Goh Shares Her Story

Kallos Team — Mon, 30 Oct 2023 11:10:00 +0000

Having been involved in sports since an early age and going on to represent Singapore in the SEA Games, Chui Ling Goh pens her own journey and shares what God has been teaching her through sports.

WHO AM I?

It has been 17 years since I started high-performance sports. As a young 13-year-old girl in a neighbourhood school, I was looking for my individual identity, innate self-worth, and unique passions in life. My parents and sisters were my role models, but they were not … me. I sought myself and it might take a lifetime for me to say I truly know who God has created me to be, but through sports, I have gotten glimpses of the glory of the Lord and the individualised journey He has for me. In brief, God took my personal passions and adapted it for His plans, and I find myself going through a journey of faith to remain faithful to Him in a world that denies Him.

Through sports, I have gotten glimpses of the glory of the Lord
and the individualised journey He has for me.

SPORTS AND ME

To say I was created to do sports is an understatement. I come from an extraordinarily sporty family and was born with a competitive spirit. I was identified by teachers and coaches in schools for my inclination towards sports, and even out-sported my male classmates from a young age. At the age of 15 after entering the national youth squad, with no structured training, I was invited to train with (and eventually invited to attend) one of the top junior colleges in Singapore. When I was 19, I was invited to apply (and was eventually offered) the inaugural sports scholarship with National University of Singapore, when I also joined the national senior squad. By the age of 24, I was offered jobs based on my affiliation with sports, on the condition that I continue sports.

Through the different stages of my life, I contemplated and even took steps to leave sports, but sports always found me. When I was 26, I decided that I was going to retire from competitive sports because I started work as a lawyer and the pressures of my legal career felt too much for me to bear. But my legal mentor and coaches around me decided that it was not the end of my sporting career and tussled me out of retirement. I struggled and wrestled like Jacob wrestled with the Lord (Gen 32:22–32), but I relented when I learnt that it was not just God who wanted me in sports but that I myself had a grave passion for sports that I could no longer deny. I learnt that I loved running. I learnt that I was running not because I had to continue my commitment with the national team, or because I wanted to keep my scholarship or financial opportunities with sports. I learnt that despite the ups and downs in my life, I loved running. It brought me unspeakable joy and a sense of achievement that I could not find in other areas of my life.

THE STRUGGLE

However, through the many years of being in sports and despite being connected to various sports ministries (like Cru Athletes in Action), I struggled to comprehend and align the demands of high-performance sports together with God’s plan and purpose (for me) in sports. I had two deep-seated intellectual and spiritual struggles with sports and God:

What is God’s purpose in the physical pain of high-performance sports that I go through regularly, and how am I supposed to find God within?
How can I juggle the innate and common-place self-centredness in high-performance sports that is antithetical to God’s call for us to love and honour others (Luke 6:35)?

If I am not able to be good, or practise godly values in the field of sports, am I deserving of being a witness for the Lord? The lack of alignment between sports and God in my life saw me retract many times back to my shell, feeling undeserving of my spot in sports on the one hand, and lacking purpose and intentionality in sports, on the other.

SEA GAMES 2023

In 2023, after years of a dull life in sports,the Lord intervened. It started with my 1500m event at the South-East Asian (SEA) Games, when things went beyond my control and spiralled. The schedule of my events was changing multiple times at the eleventh hour, causing additional stress and anxiety on my already pressured body. On top of the additional stress, I struggled deeply with sleep the night before due to external factors, like the random beeping of a smoke detector running out of battery. I went into the competition like a zombie, feeling defeated, only to experience God in a measure that I did not foresee. At the end of the race, I clinched the bronze medal in the 1500m event. It was a miracle. The run became my testimony, and the Lord assured me that despite my inability to find purpose and self-worth in sports (yet, then), I had work to do there, and He was honouring my passion in running.

The run became my testimony, and the Lord assured me
that despite my inability to find purpose
and self-worth in sports (yet, then),
I had work to do there, and He was honouring my passion in running.

DEALING WITH MY HEART

Over the next few months, the Lord unravelled my approaches to sports and broke down deep strongholds I have had about sports and pain which had hindered me in my pursuit of sports. On many levels, I lacked the focus and will to be the head and not the tail (Deut 28:13). With the intellectual and spiritual struggles I have had with having a sporting career as a follower of Christ, I felt that I lacked the dignity and grace in sports that the Lord had bethrew me with (Prov 31:25–31). But now, I run more sober and clear-headed than ever before (1 Pet 1:13) — to make space to run with the bravery and courage that God has called me to run with (Josh 1:9), and run for and towards God through pain.

But now, I run more sober and clear-headed than ever before
… run for and towards God through pain.

ROLE MODELS IN SPORTS

But beyond my personal experiences, I saw the way in sports through other godly witnesses. I saw how it is entirely possible to be a world-class athlete without being selfish or self-glorifying. Athletes like Allyson Felix (USA), Sydney McLaughlin-Levrone (USA) and Nicola Olyslagers (Australia) have approached world-class sports selflessly, to be antithetical to the norm of the self-centredness of performance sports. Since top Christian athletes like them are able to practise their craft without being selfish and still reach the top of their sport, I do not need to conform to the selfish ways of the world in order to reach the top of my sport. To inherit the legacy of those who came before me is such a privilege; being able to run with the forerunners called by the Lord. I have accepted that I was not created to bear the glory of the world, and that gives me true freedom to run my best.

I do not need to conform to the selfish ways of the world
in order to reach the top of my sport.

RUNNING FORWARD

When I was learning to be a Christian athlete, I was taught that I had to use the platform I was given to be a witness for the Lord (Matt 28:16–20, Isa 43:10). After years of wrestling intellectually with my purpose in sports for the Lord, I have structured three main dimensions of work for myself in sports. I call them P2P³:

Platform to PRAY: Remembering my motivations and the Giver of my talents.
Platform to PERFORM: Do not be lazy but do the hard work, and fight for my platform and influence, without losing sight of being a gracious competitor.
Platform to PREACH: Give thanks for the talent and acknowledge that I am stewarding the talent I have been entrusted with. Be a witness to the Giver of my talents and the right motivation for sports.

These areas of work align my motivation and conduct to those of the Lord’s, in a world that does not acknowledge His existence and value. With these, I find my passion and conduct aligned and properly ordered with my spirit and godly values, allowing me the freedom and liberty to run my best for the Lord. This is how I choose to remain faithful in sports.

God will give me my heart’s desires…right?

Kallos Team — Mon, 09 Jan 2023 09:20:00 +0000

“Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart” – Psalm 37:4

How can we know we’ve made it in life? Some might say it is the ability to get what you desire. When we want something — a gadget, a job, a relationship, a certain outcome — and we can make it happen, we feel a sense of control and power over our lives. Christians know, of course, that God is the one in control — we don’t get to dictate how our life goes. But doesn’t Psalm 37:4 say, “Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart”? To “delight” seems like an easy way to get what we want— and it’s from the Bible!

When I was in junior college, the desire of my heart was to get straight As. That was what I put all my effort into. Working hard for the grades I wanted gave me a grim sort of satisfaction. Bible verses like Psalm 37:4 and Matthew 6:33 (“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you”) helped me to add a Christian spin to my desire: I thought that if I did my ‘quiet time’ and went to church regularly, it would count as “delighting myself in the LORD,” so God would give me what I wanted. And in fact, I did get straight As. But does that mean that I had applied this verse correctly?

THE PROBLEM

Psalm 37:4 is a verse that is often quoted to claim that if we love God, follow Him, and do ‘Christian things’, He will give us what we want. It has even been used more generally to claim that God will always give Christians what they want. But using this verse in this way is a misinterpretation. God doesn’t simply give us what we want or ask for just because we’re Christians. Oprah Winfrey, in a 2015 interview on Late Night with Stephen Colbert, interpreted the verse this way: “Delight thyself in goodness, delight thyself in love, kindness, compassion, and you will receive the desires of your heart … If you focus on being a force for good, then goodness will come, which is also the third law of motion, which is also karma, which is also the golden rule.” This is a common misreading, as it treats the verse as a magical formula whereby human action can directly trigger a response from “the Lord” to reward the person who exhibits such good behaviour.

Another problem that might arise from this interpretation is this way of thinking: What if we don’t get what we want? Could it imply that we have not delighted ourselves in God enough? Has something gone wrong with our faith? Such thoughts might cause us to work even harder to be a ‘good Christian’, or to lose faith in God’s promises.

WHAT IF WE DON’T GET WHAT WE WANT? HAS SOMETHING GONE WRONG WITH OUR FAITH?

How then should we interpret this verse? Here are some questions we must consider: What is the whole of Psalm 37 really about, and what is the context of the verse? What does “delighting yourself in the LORD” mean? How does God give us the desires of our heart?

UNLOCKING THE CONTEXT

Psalm 37 is classified as a wisdom psalm. Wisdom literature often presents contrasting ways of life to the reader in order to persuade them to choose rightly. In Psalm 37, the life of the righteous is contrasted with the life of the wicked. The wicked seem to prosper as they do evil (vv. 7, 12, 14, 21, 32, 35) — but only for a time. The wicked will eventually perish (vv. 2, 10, 13, 20, 36, 38). On the other hand, although the righteous will experience trouble, God will be with them (vv. 16–19, 24, 28, 33, 39–40). They will be rewarded, and this psalm paints a picture of what that will be like: dwelling in and inheriting the land (vv. 9, 29), enjoying abundant peace (v. 11), being a blessing to others (v. 26), reflecting the character of God (vv. 30–31), and having God’s help in times of trouble (vv. 17, 24, 33, 39–40). The choice is clear: trust God and be blessed, or forsake God and perish.

Moreover, the psalmist is encouraging the reader to delight in the Lord as a contrast to being angry about the wicked prospering, since the prosperity of the wicked is only temporary. Eventually, the righteous will

IT’S NOT THAT OUR DELIGHTING IN GOD CAUSES GOD TO GIVE US WHAT WE WANT

be rewarded. Both the rewards for the righteous and retribution for the unrighteous come from God, and God’s way of dealing with the world is based on His character: He loves justice (v. 28). Those who live according to God’s way will be rewarded, but the reward is \ dependent on God and given by Him — not earned by us.

The person who delights in the Lord, then, is one who is not focused on how others are living or fretting about it, but committed to living according to God’s design. It’s not that our delighting in God causes God to give us what we want. Rather, as we grow in God’s ways, we find that what we want starts to align with what God wants, and what God gives us is then indeed what we desire — in fact, what He created us to desire (Eph 2:10).

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR ME?

Getting straight As in junior college didn’t make me happy. As I was holding my result slip, feeling empty and hollow, I realised that it wasn’t what I truly desired. I had tried to manipulate God into giving me what I thought I wanted. But God is neither a genie, subject to our whims and fancies, nor an unwilling giver, who needs to be arm-twisted into blessing us. He is a God who knows what our truest and deepest desires and needs are: to be known and loved by Him, and to live the life that He has intended for us. As we follow Him, He shapes and moulds our hearts so that our desires conform to His perfect will for our lives. May we pray in the words of the hymn: “Take my heart, it is Thine own; it shall be Thy royal throne.”

Louder than My Unbelief

Kallos Team — Wed, 02 Nov 2022 09:01:00 +0000

When ANGIE LIM was called to a year of missions, she knew that convincing her father to give her his blessing would be no simple task. She shares the faith it took to worship louder than her unbelief.

When I was growing up, my father and I were not emotionally close, but everyone could tell he doted on me. In terms of personality, I was my father’s daughter, self-confident and outspoken just like him.

My dad was an agnostic, self-made man. Yet ironically, he was instrumental in my spiritual development, as he would constantly persecute my family for our faith in Christ. He would tempt my siblings and me with permission to watch cartoons if we chose to stay at home and not follow our mum to church. On occasion, when my parents fought, he would taunt me with questions about God that were too difficult for my young mind to process. But his efforts to draw me away from my faith often made me think more deeply about why I wanted to follow Christ.

I ASKED GOD, “WHAT’S NEXT?” I DID NOT EXPECT TO HEAR THAT THE MISSION FIELD WAS NEXT.

After I graduated from polytechnic, I asked God, “What’s next?” I did not expect to hear that the mission field was next. I sniggered, telling God that my dad would never allow it, as if God did not already know. Then at a youth camp that same month, the guest preacher prayed over me that my time was NOW, not years later — not in my old age but now. That preacher did not know me or what God was calling me to do, so I knew that word was from the Lord.

THE ULTIMATUM

With fear and trembling, I wrote a letter to my dad telling him that I wanted to serve in the mission field for a year, and that I would like his blessing to go. I thanked him for giving me a privileged life, but I also opened up about how I often felt the need to tiptoe around him for the expression of my faith. My tone indicated that I no longer wanted to live my faith in fear of his persecution. I placed the letter on his bedside and went overseas for a week. When I came back, my dad did not talk to me. I didn’t dare face the eruption I knew was coming. The silent tension went on for a while.

One night, I had a dream that my dad was seated alone at the dining table, flipping through the sports section of the newspaper. The dream was so vivid I even remembered the angle of the coffee mug to the right of the newspaper. I brought up the topic of missionary work and he said harsh words to me. The next morning, I woke up late, and my dad, the newspaper, and the coffee mug were in the exact position I dreamed about.

I knew I could not drag on our silent war any longer, so I asked what he thought of my letter. He widened his eyes at me with anger and started shouting the exact harsh words I dreamed he would say. I stood there, crying, and did not respond. But he saw the steadfast resolution in my eyes. He then said that he would give me two months to think about it. By 10 pm of 10 March 2004, if I chose to go without his blessing, he wanted me out of his house and to never come back.

I KNEW WHAT MY EARTHLY FATHER WAS SAYING CONFLICTED WITH WHAT MY HEAVENLY FATHER WAS SAYING.

BETWEEN MY TWO FATHERS

I went to my room and cried and prayed. I felt so stuck, because I knew what my earthly father was saying conflicted with what my heavenly Father was saying. As I prayed, I realised that while my dad reacted exactly as I had dreamed, no part of the dream showed me actually leaving the house. An overwhelming peace came upon me. It gave me the strength to trust in God’s faithfulness to make a way when there seemed to be no way.

I went on to pass the missionary interview process and signed up for training in faith. I told my church leadership team that at the end of two months, if I did not get my father’s blessing, I might have to withdraw from the programme. The pastors were understanding and journeyed with me as I exercised my faith.

During those two months, many concerned church and extended family members asked me to reconsider my decision. Their words did not cause me to waver, because God kept assuring me that this was the season for me to step out in faith. The only weak moments I had was when I saw how torn my mother was, standing between her husband and her child.

WAITING ON A MIRACLE

Nine o’clock at night came on 10 March 2004. My pastors texted me, offering to come over to my home if mediation or refuge was needed. With confidence, I texted back that there was no need for refuge. I didn’t so much as pack a toiletry kit, even though I knew my dad was a man who always kept his word. But by 9.30 pm, with no miracle in sight, I desperately asked God to intervene.

At 9.45 pm, my dad came to my room. He knew that my decision had not changed. Neither had his. I remember the hurt in his eyes as he said, “Fine. Pack up now.

ALL I COULD DO WAS WORSHIP LOUDER THAN MY UNBELIEF.

By 10 pm, I want you out of my house.” As I sat there in a daze, a line from a sermon came to mind: “When you’ve prayed all you can pray, cried all you can cry, all that’s left to do is worship.” I reached for my guitar and played worship songs as tears rolled down my face. There were no more words left to pray — all I could do was worship louder than my unbelief.

All this time, my mother had kept silent. But after she heard what my dad said, she plucked up the courage to challenge his decision. Then at 10.15 pm, my dad stood at my bedroom door again. For the first time, I saw him in tears. He said I had his blessing to go. I had never seen such a soft look on my dad. I was speechless, and in my heart, I thanked God. The miracle had come!

REBUILDING OUR RELATIONSHIP

Even though I had my dad’s blessing, our relationship remained tense. He did not see me off at the airport. I knew he was sad and was coming to terms with the first time I was choosing my faith over fear of his opinions.

The year away from my earthly father unexpectedly gave me space to heal and encounter God the Father in a deeper way. By the time I finished my missionary stint and came back, it was with wounds to heal but victories to boast of as well.

My dad and I did not talk much after my return. It was not for my lack of trying; I feel I got the best my Asian dad could give at that time. I knew I was not going to hear “I love you” or receive a hug, but he showed his love in other ways. He went out of his way to buy my favourite food and would often let me use his car even at his inconvenience. He chose to run his errands earlier, so he could come back and silently place the car keys on the table, then watch TV as a sign that he was done with the car for the night.

It was three months later at a dinner with family friends that I heard him boast about my experiences on the mission field — they were stories that he had heard me tell other family members about. When the family friends praised me for my courage to step out at such a young age, he beamed with such pride. After that night, we spoke amicably like old times before my missionary stint. In His faithfulness, God brought reconciliation that I did not think was possible.

Change makes me anxious in life

Kallos Team — Wed, 02 Nov 2022 08:27:00 +0000

KELLY GOH shares the fears and anxieties she had when dealing with change in her life, and how God’s faithful love brings her comfort.

The morning of my birthday usually starts with me scrolling through my messages while lying in bed. I unknowingly start to smile as I read the sweet birthday blessings my friends and family have left me. But it is not long before my beaming smile turns wistful as uneasiness starts to creep in.

Since I was a teenager, I have always had a fear of growing older and of things changing. Birthdays were a dreaded occasion for me as I wrestled with the weight of this fear. I would reflect on the past year, thinking about all the wonderful memories that I had with my loved ones, all the opportunities that life had presented to me and how much I have grown as a person. Yet I would get downhearted when I remembered that these happy moments will not last forever. Worries about the future start to fill my mind as I think about how things will no longer be the same and that I will never get to experience the comforting and joyful moments of my past again. “Today’s going to be a hard day,” I think to myself, unable to shake off the heavy burden of my anxieties.

Other than birthdays which mark the end of the year for me (my birthday falls in November), tiny or drastic changes throughout the year make me anxious too. Every change in my life feels like a new season to me, one that can take away the comfort and joy from my previous season, and present me with new challenges to undertake. Amid the anxiety concerning an unknown future that my older self has to go through, God’s word reminds me that He has a plan and purpose for every season of my life (Ecc 3:1).

It was on my 17th birthday that I slowly started to embrace the new seasons of life. I remember feeling sentimental scrolling through the photos I took with my friends and family that day, and once again feeling emotional that these precious moments had ended. However, God sent someone to talk to me that day and her joy and excitement for the future made me realise that as I tightly held on to the happy memories of the past, I had lost sight of the joy the future can bring too. God also prompted me that night to think of things that do not change. I realised that though these moments had already ended, the love from these people will not. And most certainly, God’s faithful love for me goes on forever. That thought itself was enough to fill my heart with so much peace. In a world where things are constantly changing, it is comforting to know that I have a God whose love endures forever (Ps 136).

No matter the season, God’s hand will always be at work in our lives and He will use every season for our good and for His glory. Hence, I will now try to look forward to a new season with hope and actively seek joy with the help of the Holy Spirit. And if change still scares me, I will run to Jesus who remains constant yesterday, today, and forever (Heb 13:8)!

You’re not as alone as you think

Kallos Team — Wed, 02 Nov 2022 07:56:00 +0000

“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:12–13)

True to my optimistic nature, I emerged from my teenage years never having any boyfriends but with a plan to be married by the time I was 23. Now 33 and as single as ever, the very human urge to pin it on an unexplainable lack of ‘luck’ has made itself an unwelcome guest in the waiting room of my heart.

With years of training by now, I chase the bitter feeling away with prayer and Scripture, and — more humanly — divert my attentions to a good book or Netflix series. But when another new relationship announcement is made, or a season that celebrates love and loved ones comes along — the guest returns, along with its equally unpleasant friend, loneliness.

The years of training, however, also gave me time to study this condition and discover that loneliness pervades even the best of romantic relationships. No person will ever be able to fully know or understand us, and any person will inevitably fail to love us perfectly. “But Joanne,” you might be thinking, “I know God is the only one who can love me perfectly, but I don’t really feel it or believe it.” And can I just say: I get it. Neither do I, on so many days, when the feelings overwhelm my faith.

The loneliest I have ever felt was through a physical ailment of sorts that developed in my early twenties, which remained undiagnosed until a year ago. The condition had worsened through the years, with no doctor being able to identify what was causing it, and it brought me much physical and emotional pain. Not wanting to burden anyone, I kept it largely to myself for years, going from one doctor’s appointment to the next — alone, since I didn’t have a partner.

Only at the height of the illness, when my symptoms got really bad, did I finally crack open the door of my tired heart and admit to a few close friends the severity of what I was going through. I was met with much sympathy and support — though I continued heading for my check-ups alone, as I was used to.

It was only very recently that a friend who lives near me suddenly offered to come for my medical appointment with me. I later discovered it was another friend, to whom I had mentioned I was nervous about this upcoming review, who had asked her to accompany me. At first I refused, saying it was unnecessary, but something in my heart told me to receive the gesture of love.

As she sat with me opposite the doctor, the first friend to ever do so in the last decade of my long health journey, I realised this is what Jesus instructed His disciples to do in John 15:12: Love each other as I have loved you. I imagine this is what Jesus would have done for me, and always does, though I cannot see Him. But I could see my friend, in the flesh, and this is also what He left for us, besides His Holy Spirit: each other. The Church of fellow believers.

Loneliness is an inescapable part of life, but its real cause is not the lack of a partner, since no one person can fulfil our need to be fully known and loved. Rather, it is the lack of presence, where someone else is with you in your loneliest of experiences. God has promised He is always with us, and that remains true, but He’s also given us friends to demonstrate His presence with us.

Jesus calls us, His disciples, to lay down our lives for each other (John 15:13) — to give of ourselves and our time and any other acts of love. So, should you or I feel less than perfectly loved on tough days, we’ll see — through the community He’s sent to us — that we’re not as alone as we think.

JONK’S JOURNALS

A PRAYER
Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for promising to never leave me nor forsake me. In my loneliest moments, please remind me of Your presence through Your Holy Spirit and the community of believers You have given me. Send me friends for the journey ahead. Amen.

JOURNAL THIS!
1. In what areas of your life do you feel most lonely? Ask God to show you who you can share this with, or for Him to bring someone alongside to support you.

2. Do you have godly friendships that reveal Christ’s love for you? Are you a friend in whom the lonely can find comfort in? Build your friendships and be a good friend!

KNOW THE WORD
Allow the Holy Spirit to illuminate His truths in these passages:
– Proverbs 17:17; 18:24; 27:9
– Ecclesiastes 4:9–12
– 1 Thessalonians 5:11–15

God is with us when we gather…right?

Kallos Team — Wed, 02 Nov 2022 07:44:00 +0000

“For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”
– (Matthew 18:20 NIV)

We’ve all heard this before. Someone starts a small group or prayer meeting with something like: “Dear Lord, thank You that You are here with us. For Your Word says, where two or three are gathered in Your name, there You are with us ….”

When we gather together as a body of Christ, it’s only natural that we want to affirm that God’s presence is among us and to be assured that God hears our prayers. Matthew 18:20 seems like a promise that fits situations like that perfectly. We might even feel that saying the verse will make our gathering more ‘legit’, especially if it’s only a small or informal meeting.

DOES IT MEAN THAT WHEN WE ARE NOT IN GROUPS OF TWO OR THREE, JESUS IS NOT WITH US?

This way of using the verse has become so much of a cliché that we might be doing it without much thought. But if we’re paying attention, we would realise that there are some problems with thinking about the verse like this.

Firstly, does it mean that when we are not in groups of two or three, Jesus is not with us? Of course not — Jesus is with us whether we are alone or in a big group! In fact, the gospel of Matthew portrays Jesus as “God with us” (Matt 1:23, 28:20).

Secondly, do we need to state that we are gathering in Jesus’ name to make sure that He is with us? What does it even mean to gather in Jesus’ name? When we gather in His name, it means that we gather as Jesus’ followers. “In Jesus’ name” is not a magical phrase that summons Jesus — just saying the word “Jesus” in itself has no power! It is the person of Jesus who is powerful, not the string of sounds we use to refer to Him. Ultimately, we can be sure that Jesus is with us and hears our prayers because Jesus is God with us. His presence among His people is based on who He is, not what we can do to invoke it.

UNLOCKING THE CONTEXT

So what does Matthew 18:20 really mean? We need to pay attention to the context of the verse to understand it. While the section headings in our Bibles are not part of the original text but inserted by translators, they can help our understanding. The NIV and ESV section headings for Matthew 18:15–20 are “Dealing with sin in the church” and “If your brother sins against you”, respectively, which give us an accurate idea of what this section is about. In Matthew 18, Jesus teaches His disciples how the community of God’s people should treat one another. Matthew 18:20 is part of a section with Jesus’ instructions on what to do when people in the Christian community sin.

In Matthew 18:15–17, Jesus lays out a process for the church to follow when a believer confronts a fellow believer who is in sin. If possible, the two individuals should try to settle it between themselves (v. 15). Otherwise, if the believer who is in sin refuses to listen to correction, one or two other people should be brought in as witnesses to the attempt (v. 16). If this fails, the matter should be brought to the attention of the church as a whole (v. 17a), and if the person is still unrepentant at this point, they may be excluded from the fellowship and treated like “a pagan or tax collector,” which in those times meant an ungodly outsider (v. 17b).

Here, we see that church discipline is a serious matter and these decisions are not to be made lightly. Therefore, Jesus gives the church as a whole His authority to carry it out. Verse 18 is parallel in meaning to John 20:23, where Jesus says, “If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.” In Matthew and John, Jesus is saying that when the church makes decisions about discipline and forgiveness wisely, they do so with godly authority. God is the one guiding them when they make these decisions

EACH OF US… HAS A ROLE TO PLAY IN SAFEGUARDING THE PURITY AND HOLINESS OF OUR CHURCH.

in prayer and humble submission. Even when it is just two or three believers confronting a brother or sister in sin, Jesus promises that He is with them. In this context, Matthew 18:19 is referring to prayer about an issue of discipline — the verse is not a generic promise that God will answer any prayer as long as two people agree on it.

APPLYING IT TODAY

So, Matthew 18:20 is indeed a promise that God is with us when we come together but specifically for the purpose of church discipline. Jesus has authorised His church to carry out discipline in love, with restoration and reconciliation as the end goal. To interpret and apply this verse in context, then, means that each of us, as part of the community of believers, has a role to play in safeguarding the purity and holiness of our church. And we are empowered to do so since God’s presence is with us and His Holy Spirit guides us (John 14:26; 20:22).

If you have a conflict with someone in your community, this passage of Scripture provides a model for how to gently confront them and hopefully reconcile with them. As Asians, we tend to think avoiding confrontations is a virtue, but that may not necessarily be a biblical value. In situations where we have sinned against someone or have been sinned against, a loving and gracious talk with the other person can go a long way in maintaining the health of the church and its members. Let’s take this responsibility that Jesus has given us seriously!

Friendship in Unchartered Waters

Kallos Team — Wed, 31 Aug 2022 16:23:00 +0000

When storms come, what does it take to keep a ‘friend-ship’ afloat? BERNICE TIAN shares how she navigated her friendships through jealousy, swift judgements of friends, and mismatched expectations.

I have a habit of looking at my past photos and old diary entries once in a while. Entries where I talk about spending time at my grandparents’ house feel nostalgic, while rants about my annoying siblings are quite funny to remember! Recently, I found a single entry that stood out from the rest, recalling how lonely and sad I felt because I didn’t have any close friends. I thank God that I no longer feel that way, as He has provided good friends to me since then. What I had not anticipated though, was that with close friendships, conflicts would be inevitable. I have come across countless challenges in my friendships that threatened to break them as quickly as they were first formed. Thankfully, I have been able to pick up a few learning points along the way, and I continue to apply them to my current friendships.

WRANGLING JEALOUSY, THE SEA MONSTER

According to 1 Corinthians 13:4, love “does not envy.” But what happens when jealousy is found within friendships? I had never realised the significance of keeping jealousy at bay until I saw how much it could hurt other people.

I have two best friends (let’s call them Audrey and Sarah), and we are like the three musketeers in church. During youth services, you wouldn’t find one of us without the other two being close by. In fact, at the start of our friendship, I had to get used to the idea of a trio being best friends, as I had thought that you could have only one best friend. The adjective itself is exclusive! Since I had known Audrey longer than Sarah, I was more protective about keeping Audrey to myself. However, Audrey and Sarah were from the same school, so feelings of jealousy arose sometimes when they talked about things that happened that I couldn’t relate to.

Hence, there were times when I preferred to privately text Audrey and leave Sarah out of our chats as I was more comfortable with just Audrey. One day, Sarah found out that Audrey and I had met up a few times by ourselves and expressed her great disappointment about it.

IN MY ATTEMPT TO PROTECT ONE FRIENDSHIP, I HAD HURT THE FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN THE THREE OF US.

She texted us in our group chat, saying, “I feel really left out.” When I saw that she felt hurt and uncomfortable, I knew then that it was selfish of me to try to keep Audrey to myself, making Sarah feel lonely too. In my attempt to protect one friendship, I had hurt the friendship between the three of us.

Jealousy caused me to act selfishly, inflicting the same hurt and insecurities on Sarah that I had experienced myself. That event led us to all communicate with each other more honestly. Now, we know to nip jealousy in the bud instead of allowing it to fester, so that we can treasure and love one another better.

FACING THE STORMS OF JUDGEMENT

Have you heard of Job’s infamous story of loss? Job had devastatingly lost all his family members, his possessions, and his health in a swift span of time. When Job’s friends, Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar came to visit him to comfort him, they ended up bringing more hurt than comfort and were told they were “miserable comforters” (Job 2:11; 16:2). Have you ever done the same thing as Job’s friends by being too quick to judge and assume (e.g., Job 4; 8; 11)? There was a time when I was just like Job’s friends, and nearly caused one of my ‘friend-ships’ to sink.

In 2019, a friend came to me for support and guidance when she had a disagreement with a mutual friend. Caught in the middle of their conflict, I wasn’t sure what to do. Instead of offering a listening ear, I acted as a judge, deciding that my friend was in the wrong. I was quick to criticise rather than to listen. After that, that my friend distanced herself from me for a few months, giving me the cold shoulder. It was obvious that I had lost her trust.

I finally found the courage to apologise some time later. I sent her a voice message, telling her that I was sorry for not only being judgemental, but also for being absent when she needed my support. It comforted me when she responded, expressing her desire to mend our friendship as well.

INSTEAD OF OFFERING A LISTENING EAR, I ACTED AS A JUDGE.

This incident made me realise the fragile nature of friendship. There was a price to pay in the carelessness of the words I uttered and the actions I displayed. Going forward, I’ve taken to heart the exhortation in 1 Thessalonians 5:11 to “encourage one another and build each other up”!

BALANCING EXPECTATIONS

I used to think that some friendships would last forever, but I’ve quickly grown to realise that this isn’t the case. When friends I used to be close to made new friends, that changed the dynamic of our friendship! Though I understood that it was normal for my friends to have other friends, there was a time when I often felt rather disappointed as I scrolled through their Insta Stories. Despite hearing from them that they were too busy to meet with me, they had time to socialise with other people. Despite the closeness we had enjoyed in the past, these friends now looked happier bonding with other people. I was disappointed indeed.

Once, something significant happened to one of my friends, but I only found out after she had posted about it on Instagram. Alas, when I asked if she was feeling okay, she said she didn’t want to talk about it anymore. I had expectations of certain friends that we would be close friends till the end, and that we would tell each other our joys and woes. Yet in this case I felt like I was pushed down my friend’s priority list, making me feel hurt and alone.

even in my most difficult times, the only constant friend I could depend on the most was God.

A counsellor once shared with me about the ‘Circles of Friendship,’ an exercise which involves drawing a series of concentric circles, putting your closest friends in the innermost circle, and placing the people you are least close to in the outermost circle. We need to recognise that friends may shift between circles in different seasons, and that’s OK! Identifying the people in my current inner circle as the ones that I can trust and go to in times of need has helped me to manage expectations with my friends and prevent disappointment.

Importantly, when I tried that exercise, I realised that even in my most difficult times, the only constant friend I could depend on the most was God. Sure, there are still times when I feel disappointed when friends I feel close to do not regard me in the same light. Yet as I depend on God who is my good Father, I need not feel like I am less valuable or loved because of it. As I can love others from this place of security, I get to maintain healthy friendships with my friends and let go of the jealousy and discouragement that may come with mismatched expectations.

At the end of the day, God’s consistent love for me encourages me to overcome challenges in my friendships and respond well to them. I also believe that as we continue to put God at the centre of our relationships, we are slowly being moulded to become more Christ-like. We can be inspired to cultivate and treasure healthy friendships because of our relationship with God.

Where were You when I needed You, God?

Kallos Team — Mon, 29 Aug 2022 09:32:00 +0000

“The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” (Deut 31:8)

“The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?” (Ps 118:6)

Have you lived through the unthinkable? Had your life knocked off course in a matter of moments, along with what you thought you had faith in God for? An earnest prayer gone seemingly unanswered. Someone you love taken away. Something horrible happening to you. I have felt all these through my 33 years, but the first time my relationship with God was thrown into question took place when I was just nine years old, after I was sexually assaulted by a person I thought I could trust.

The incident kept me in chains way into my teenage years, becoming a raw, angry part of my heart I let no one — not God, not even my conscious self — near. Every time the subject was broached or triggered, the tears came, and so did unbridled rage. It was a mix of everything too painful to dissect, much less think about: Why had I let this happen to myself? How would I ever find full justice? Where was God when I needed Him most?

I didn’t resent this God I had come to know and love on other fronts of my life, but neither did I go anywhere near the glaring inconsistency between His goodness I read about in His Word and what had still happened to me. For all He said about never leaving or forsaking me, it sure looked like God had done so then. He had not helped me as my heart had filled with fear in that fateful moment — and judging by the searing pain I continued to carry, it seemed that a mere mortal had indeed destroyed my life.

This would change, however, almost six years later, at an unrelated altar call I had responded to during youth service. Expecting to be prayed for by the preacher, I found myself overcome by emotion as he said only five simple words to me: “You have to forgive him.” I had not been thinking about it, but what was buried deep inside came spilling out at once. “Yes,” I was somehow able to pray as I knelt at the altar, “Yes, I will forgive him.” I discovered later on that I was able, for the first time ever, to talk about the assault without shame or sting. God had healed me.

He then began answering the questions I had not dared to ask, revealing dimensions of His truth to my mended heart. Had He not protected me from experiencing sexual trauma? This is what I have come to understand: God may not intervene to disrupt the free will He has given all of us — to choose for ourselves without His interference — even when people choose to hurt each other. But His promise of never leaving or forsaking us remains true, a promise embodied in the person of His Son.

Jesus suffered on this earth that we may never be alone in any of our sufferings. He is with us when tragedy strikes, and He stays with us in its wake, no matter how long the road to restoration stretches. Neither does He watch helplessly as we writhe in agony: the Jesus I know wept when the brokenness of this earth touched those whom He loved (John 11:32–35) — and then He proceeded to redeem it (Rev 21:4). He faced the ultimate forsakenness on the Cross in our place, and was returned to life to give all who believe in Him both the promise of eternal togetherness and His Holy Spirit for our time on earth (Matt 27:46; Rom 3:24–26; John 20:21–22).

That is why the New Testament writer of Hebrews can repeat with confidence the exhortations of Moses and David to trust in God and not be afraid (Heb 13:5–6; cf. Deut 31:6; Ps 118:6), because with Jesus Christ, Immanuel, God with us (Matt 1:23) is now a promise that will be fulfilled for every believer, for every circumstance, for every doubt and dark time. My Great Helper is here for the whole journey, whatever it holds. I will not be afraid.

JONK’S JOURNALS

A PRAYER
Dear Heavenly Father, I bring to You everything I hold in my heart: my doubts, my hurts, my questions. Help me to trust in You as I surrender them to You. Heal my heart as You renew my mind with Your truth. May I experience Your nearness in this journey. Amen.

JOURNAL THIS!
1. Is there something you are struggling with that is hard to reconcile with your faith in God? Tell God the truth of what you’re going through, and ask for His help.

2. Are you feeling alone or abandoned? Commit to trusting that God is near, He is with you, and in Him you will find revelation, redemption, and restoration.

KNOW THE WORD
Allow the Holy Spirit to illuminate His truths in these passages:
– Psalm 34:15–20
– John 11:1–44; 16:33
– Isaiah 41:10; 43:2

AFTERTHOUGHTS
“God’s absence is never true. His silence is not absence; His hiddenness is not abandonment. He is working for your salvation; He is working out his promises. He is keeping His promises even when it looks like He’s nowhere around.” — “The Hiddenness of God” by Timothy Keller

Listen to the sermon on Spotify

God will not give me more than I can bear … right?

Kallos Team — Mon, 29 Aug 2022 09:03:00 +0000

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation He will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

1 Corinthians 10:13 (ESV)

Life is tough. There is stress from studies and exams, as well as delicate relationships and conflicts that can leave us feeling misunderstood and alone, the list goes on… and all these on top of a worldwide pandemic that we still have no solution for! Sometimes, it feels like more than we can bear.

A verse that is often used to encourage us in times of stress is 1 Corinthians 10:13. The first part of it says, “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability…” This is often interpreted to mean that the trials that we go through are not unique to us, and God will never give us more than we can handle!

In the past, whenever I faced a difficult and stressful period in my life, I sought comfort in this verse. Believing that God would not give me more than I could handle, I would tell myself that I just needed to grit my teeth and go through it. So, I would tell myself, even if you are going through a difficult time, it can’t be THAT bad. You should be able to handle it. Don’t give up.

But sometimes, things wouldn’t get better for a long time. Doubt would creep in. Am I weak? Why is it so difficult? Does God really know what I can bear? Didn’t He promise…? Why am I going through this?

THE PROBLEM

There are at least three problems with this interpretation of 1 Corinthians 10:13. First, if God only gives us what we can bear on our own, then we won’t need God. If all we experience in life is manageable by human strength and wisdom, then we could go through life without needing to turn to God for help.

Second, our lived experience tells us that God does give us more than we can bear! The interpretation that God does not give us more
than we can bear offers merely a contrived sense of comfort to people going through deep personal grief or extreme challenges in life.

IF GOD ONLY GIVES US WHAT WE CAN BEAR, THEN WE WON’T NEED GOD.

Last, but not least, the Bible affirms our lived experience as it gives us multiple examples of people given more than they could bear. Joseph was a victim of human trafficking by his own brothers and faced many difficult trials because of that (Gen 37–40). Daniel was maligned and abandoned to a den of ravenous lions (Dan 6). Job lost all his possessions and his children, and was struck with loathsome sores all over his body (Job 1–2). Surely these are more than any human being could bear!

THE CONTEXT

The misunderstanding of 1 Corinthians 10:13 arises from the belief that the word for temptation can also mean trial or testing. This belief is, in fact, true. The same Greek word peirasmos that is translated as “temptation” in 1 Corinthians 10:13 is often translated as “trial” in Galatians 4:14, as Paul speaks of his bodily ailment being a trial. In the context of his letter to the Galatians, Paul is clearly using the Greek word to refer to a trial or testing — a challenging and difficult situation.

But just because the Greek word for “temptation” could also mean trial or testing doesn’t mean that it must always mean trial or testing. We need to look at the context to determine what exactly is meant in the verse. First Corinthians is Paul’s letter to the church at Corinth to address the problems that they were struggling with, including divisions in the church (1:10–17), moral issues (5:1–6:20), and problems with how they were conducting the Lord’s supper (11:17–34). And, here in chapter 10, Paul starts with the negative example of Israel in the wilderness to warn the Corinthian Christians not to be like them — don’t “desire evil” (v. 6), don’t be “idolaters” (v. 7), don’t “indulge in sexual immorality” (v. 8), and don’t “put Christ to the test” (v. 9) or “grumble” (v. 10).

This leads to Paul telling the Corinthians in verse 12 not to be complacent: If you think you are standing, be careful that you don’t fall! It is in this context that verse 13 then begins with “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.” This verse gives the reason why the Corinthians should not be complacent — it is because the temptation that they faced was a common one!

THE SOLUTION

But what is this common temptation? It is the temptation to sin. Or, as Paul has explained, the temptation to desire evil, to worship idols, to indulge in sexual immorality, to put Christ to the test, and to grumble.

Reading verse 13 in context, we see that “temptation” here refers not to trials or testing, but to temptations to sin. Paul is telling the Corinthians that they too face the same temptations that the Israelites faced in the wilderness.

Then what is the promise in the verse? It is not about being able to bear the suffering that we experience. Rather, the promise is that our faithful God gives us the ability to resist temptation. This is reiterated in the next part of the verse, that “with the temptation He will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” Also, 1 Corinthians 10:14 only makes sense if we interpret verse 13 correctly. Since Paul is warning the Corinthians about the temptation to sin, it makes sense for him to conclude with a call to action: “Therefore … flee from idolatry.” If instead he has been assuring them that God would not give them trials that are more than they can bear, why would he then ask the Corinthians to flee from idolatry?

RATHER, THE PROMISE IS THAT OUR FAITHFUL GOD GIVES US THE ABILITY TO RESIST TEMPTATION.

SO WHAT?

For those of us who are going through challenging times, there are many other verses in the Bible that remind us that God is with us despite overwhelming circumstances, and that we can endure suffering with God’s help. First Corinthians 10:13 is not one of them. We need to recognise that God sometimes gives us more than we can bear, but with Christ, we can overcome. If you are going through a challenging time, perhaps the psalms would be a good starting place to find comfort. In them, we may find solace in the desperate cries for help, the raw reflections, and the trust that the psalmists express in God (e.g. Ps 13; 46).

However, 1 Corinthians 10:13 does speak to those of us who are facing temptation — which is, well, all of us. Have you ever said or heard someone else say, “I’m just an angry person — I can’t help it,” or, “The reason she is so proud is because of her upbringing — we cannot blame her”? Or perhaps, “The temptation I face is just too strong — you won’t understand”? This verse tells us that there is no excuse to sin, because God gives us the ability and His help to resist temptation.

In other words, 1 Corinthians 10:13 is not an unrealistic encouragement for difficult times, but an assurance that comes with a piercing challenge: God has given you the ability to resist temptation, so exercise it with His help and don’t succumb!

Christian music became my idol

Kallos Team — Sun, 31 Jul 2022 16:00:00 +0000

Growing up in a family of musicians, I have always been a music nerd. But as I immerse myself in music, not all of it is entirely godly. Some of these songs feature explicit lyrics, or cover dark themes. As a result, I once decided to challenge myself to only listen to Christian music and no secular songs for two months. I did this because I wanted to centre myself in godliness and honour God with the songs I consume.

The first few weeks of the challenge started out great. I was so inspired by God and His word that I wrote two songs in a span of two weeks! However, something happened in school that made me feel discouraged and hopeless. To get through that difficult time, I used Christian music to make me feel better.

Weirdly, as much as the songs I listened to encouraged and assured me that God is with me, I felt far from God. It was ironic that the more I tried to fill my mind with godly songs to hear God’s words and truth, the less I could hear Him speaking into my life.

The challenge backfired because I realised that each time I went through difficulty, I turned to music instead of turning to the One who holds all things together (Col 1:17). Instead of taking my worries to God, I depended on the song lyrics and ‘feels’ of the song to lift my spirit. It took a while for me to realise that Christian music had started to become an idol in my life.

Christian and worship music can build faith, and is a way to praise and glorify God. But I learned that it can’t be my go-to in times of need.

To overcome this, I simply tried to lessen my music intake. I swapped my usual evening runs with music to evening prayer walks in the park without music. While on public transport, I spent time talking to God instead of being distracted by music. Finally, once again, I knew God was lifting my troubles off my shoulders each time I surrendered them to Him in prayer. I used to think of music as my transportation and workout companion, but the real fact is that I was never alone. God watches over me every day.

To all reading this, I thank God that Christian music has helped many of us to shift our focus to God and speak the word of God into our hearts. But let us not forget that He alone is the One we should run to for our every need!