Thank you for your question! It is a very common question. Many people in relationships think that since both parties sincerely intend to get married, surely there must be nothing wrong with sexual intimacy as part of their commitment to one another. After all, in the end, it’s the same, isn’t it?

However, it’s not quite so simple. Even if both parties seriously want to marry each other, until they walk down the aisle and say “I do”, there is no guarantee that they will definitely be married. Life brings surprises. Sadly, I have known engaged couples whose relationships did not end in marriages, despite their best intentions.

The Bible is also clear that the “one flesh” union of sexual intimacy is designed to be experienced and enjoyed exclusively within the covenant of marriage. Since the marriage covenant is permanent, it provides security and safety so that the couple can be “naked and unashamed” (Gen 2:25), and drawn closer together in intimacy as God had intended.

After sex, the brain release a hormone called oxytocin, it’s a chemical that induces the warm “fuzzies”, making the partners feel closer or more bonded to one another. Within a marriage, this is very useful in cementing emotional bonds and bringing potential parents closer together in preparing them to welcome a child. However, without the safety and security of marriage, this may actually be deceptive. It may cause couples to feel more “in love” than they actually are or they may ignore red-flags in the relationship as a result of feeling physically bonded.