Quek Shiwei – Kallos

Jonathan Ogden: Singing For the Audience of One

Quek Shiwei — Tue, 01 Jun 2021 11:41:00 +0000

I got to hear snippets of Liane’s story through a mutual friend a couple of months ago and was inspired by how she truly loved God and wanted to live her life for Him. Despite exceling in school and working as a successful lawyer, Liane put on no airs. She was down-to-earth and personal during our conversation together. While others may look at her accolades and label her a “success,” Liane is more interested in how she lives her life for God and uses her gifts to serve others!

You may have heard of the band Rivers & Robots, but do you know the man behind the music? DOROTHEA WONG speaks with frontman Jonathan Ogden to find out how his bedroom recording project led him on a journey of becoming a singer-songwriter for Jesus.

I have been a long-time fan of Rivers & Robots and Jonathan Ogden’s solo music, so I must admit that I was thrilled to speak with him for this interview! Rivers & Robots is known as a band who writes songs about Jesus with a creative and unique sound, breaking the boundaries of what worship music can sound like. Marrying Scripture with dreamy electronic beats, the band has since led worship at churches, festivals and even clubs! However, with the hiatus of the band due to the Covid-19 pandemic, Ogden is relishing this season to write and produce music from home.

Who were some of your musical influences growing up?

I live in Manchester — a very big music city in the United Kingdom, so I grew up listening to a lot of live music. That infl uenced me to start writing songs because I noticed how creative and diverse every artist was, how every concert sounded different and used different instruments.

How did you know that God was leading you to write songs and worship Him with music and creativity?

I’ve always enjoyed creative things even since I was a little kid — I even used to make short films! Music was something I toyed around with; I used to make remixes of songs and little goofy things.

When I was turning 17, I started to take my faith more seriously. I decided, “I really want to own my faith and not just come to church with my parents.” I went for a Christian conference and right in the middle of worship, I felt something in me telling me that I was supposed to do worship as a way of serving God.

EVEN IF I LEAD WORSHIP AND IT GOES TERRIBLY, GOD STILL LOVES ME.

What were some faith-defining moments you had as a teen?
When I started taking my faith seriously, I really wanted to read the Bible for myself. There was this moment when the more I read the Word, the more it started to come alive to me in a new way; it wasn’t merely reading words on a page. I realised I could speak to the Person who inspired these words, and I could turn these words into conversation with God.

What gave you the courage to become a full-time musician?

People encouraged me to do it. One of the worship leaders at my church was always asking me to lead worship but I kept saying no. But deep down, I knew it was what God wanted me to do so I obliged. Over time, I was still really nervous but stepping out and doing it gave me the courage to keep continuing.

Did you start out making music intentionally to further the gospel and reach out, or was it something that happened along the way?

It happened along the way. It was almost a surprise to me when I felt God speaking to me about using music for Him and I realised that all this while, He had already put that desire and joy in me to make music.

It did feel different to create music with purpose attached to it. Previously, I was just curious about music and how to make songs. But now I know that the music I create can help me and other people connect with God too. Once I discovered the purpose of what I was doing, it took on a whole new level of passion and enjoyment.

What are some setbacks you’ve experienced as a musician?

There were definitely times when I got discouraged by people’s comments about the music I release online. I remember the second album that I made from home. The day it was released, one person bought it. It was my friend who sat next to me in my office! But I was okay with that as I realised that I wasn’t making music to get millions of plays but to create music and give to the Lord.

I LOVE SINGING THE BIBLE AS MANY CHRISTIANS CAN UNITE AROUND THE WORD.

How did your perspective of success change after becoming a Christian?
I became a Christian in the midst of my working years. Over time, listening to sermons and reading the Bible caused me to ask myself, “Why am I doing all the things I am doing?” The things that gave me status as an advantage over people was rendered useless in the kingdom of God.

Interestingly, things started changing at my workplace; my boss had resources to hire more people so work became more balanced amongst the employees. I started to have more time to pursue my own interests, and I realised that life is more than just work.

What really set me free was my struggle with a spending problem and I prayed for God to help me overcome it. I read Crazy Love by Francis Chan and I was convicted to only spend a fixed amount and give the rest away. That season opened my eyes to realise that there is more to life than working tirelessly to earn more money. Of course, no matter how much or little you have, you should still have a heart of service to bless others. Being freed from excessive working and money as my identity was a huge breakthrough.

What do you think distinguishes striving and working hard for grades versus obsessing over them?
Ideally, nothing should fill the void in your heart except God. You should be so secure in your identity that good or bad grades will not make you feel any less loved and complete. The problem is that sometimes, you have an idol that is co-existing with God. I can have a good relationship with God, and still have an idol. Let’s say my idol is good grades. I achieve good grades and I do love God. But I need to ask myself honestly if I am working hard because I love God and want to be excellent in what I do, or if I am doing it because I am looking to good grades to define me.

WHEN IT IS CONSUMING OTHER IMPORTANT ASPECTS OF YOUR LIFE, YOU OUGHT TO TAKE A CLOSER LOOK.

What is your creative process like? Do you intentionally use Scripture as lyrics, or do tunes come into your mind as you read the Bible?
I always like to write songs that mean something to me or about something that’s already stirring in my heart. I’ll usually start off by creating loops and melodies. But as soon as I get to the lyrics, I ask, “What is God speaking about this week?”

I also love singing the Bible as many Christians can unite around the Word. The Bible contains deep truths that is way beyond something could come up with; it’s God speaking to us. Sometimes I’d literally just open the Psalms, grab my guitar, sing the Bible while reading, and see if I can get any ideas from that.

If you could change anything about the
music industry, what would it be?
I wrestle with the fact that we (as Christian artistes) often produce and release music like the world does. I believe worship music is unique and not the same as just releasing an album. When things grew with the band, I found myself in a lot of conversations that involved promoting our albums and talking to labels.

Many times, I came out of those meetings thinking, “I just want to sing songs to Jesus” more than talking about how to market a product, because I don’t see it as a product to be marketed. I see it as my expression of worship. I would love to see more of that kind of heart, where music returns to the purity of why we worship and why we make these songs.

Liane Lim: Obsessed With Success

Quek Shiwei — Sat, 01 May 2021 03:21:00 +0000

I got to hear snippets of Liane’s story through a mutual friend a couple of months ago and was inspired by how she truly loved God and wanted to live her life for Him. Despite exceling in school and working as a successful lawyer, Liane put on no airs. She was down-to-earth and personal during our conversation together. While others may look at her accolades and label her a “success,” Liane is more interested in how she lives her life for God and uses her gifts to serve others!

Hi Liane! Did you always do well in school?
I did not. When I was younger, I failed a lot of my exams. I was never obsessed with grades or success. I scored really lousily and people used to say that I was the stupidest girl in my class.

What changed?
Initially when I was studying in a polytechnic, I regularly skipped school and as a result, nearly lost the last friend I had there. I decided to study harder in an attempt to preserve that friendship. Surprisingly, I started doing well and realised that I actually have a knack for studying! I thought that if I kept doing well, I could go quite far with my grades and land a good career. I felt that if I were a successful, powerful, and influential lawyer, I would be happy in life. I wasn’t a Christian then, and success became something I filled the gaping hole in my heart with that only Christ was supposed to fill.

I FELT THAT IF I WERE A SUCCESSFUL, POWERFUL, AND INFLUENTIAL LAWYER, I WOULD BE HAPPY IN LIFE.

What was the motivation behind your desire for academic success?
There were many motivations. One was money. I thought, if I have money, I can spend it on anything and life can be made better. I also desired power; I could command more people to listen and look up to me. I was also driven by pride. I felt shiok (very good) whenever people praised me for exceling in things I was good at.

Is money as a motivation necessarily a bad thing?
I believe that we should steward our gifts wisely. For example, if I’m a good pianist, then I should serve God with my skills. Similarly, if I have been academically blessed, then I should use my brains to serve God. Having more money can also allow one to serve the community more effectively. So I don’t think that one should be scared of being successful or earning more money. The problem is the temptation to use money and success to satisfy one’s desires instead of serving God.

When did you begin to realise your obsessive pursuit over success? Were there visible signs?
As a student, I clocked in around four hours of sleep a day. In my time as a lawyer, I used to have ‘badges of honour’ I was proud of. Clients recognised me as someone who replied an email within minutes, no matter the time of day. I was dubbed as being ‘crazy.’ I also had a sleeping bag in the office, and eventually even a sofa bed. There were days when I would just stay in the office to work endlessly. I realised how enslaved I was to work when my tiredness physically showed in the size of my eyes — they were half its usual size! I also had emotional breakdowns. It was clear that work was my master. I knew that continuing this lifestyle would be unhealthy for me.

THE THINGS THAT GAVE ME STATUS AS AN ADVANTAGE OVER PEOPLE WAS RENDERED USELESS IN THE KINGDOM OF GOD.

WHEN IT IS CONSUMING OTHER IMPORTANT ASPECTS OF YOUR LIFE, YOU OUGHT TO TAKE A CLOSER LOOK.

Another indicator is to look at the amount of time you spend on studying. God gives us many things to steward. When you are disproportionately placing a lot of energy on one thing such that you neglect the others, it is clear what takes a higher priority. Within reason, there is nothing wrong with giving time to studies, but when it is consuming other important aspects of your life, you ought to take a closer look.

What are some practical tips for students who desire to excel in school but are wary about obsessing over grades or success?
Prayer is a good ‘weapon.’ Be intentional to always pray and submit your desires to God. God is faithful and He will let His will be done in your life. Secondly, be intentional about filling up your heart with God. For example, if you are trying to kick a bad habit but instead of filling it up with God, you turn to something secular, that defeats the purpose of trying to kick the habit! Thirdly, be mindful of your motivations for needing to succeed and counter it with Bible verses. For example, if you are tempted to be drawn to man’s praises, meditate on verses that counter that very temptation, like those that focus on honouring God above man. The more you read Scripture, the more God will reveal motivations that perhaps are not the most pleasing to Him.

*This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

3 Misconceptions Girls Have About Male Friendships

Quek Shiwei — Mon, 01 Mar 2021 14:19:00 +0000

“Girls talk about their feelings and share life updates. Guys only talk about girls, money, girls, gym, girls again, football, and games!”

I chuckled at my friend, Si Ying’s, reply. It was a quirky response to my question as to whether there were any differences between male and female friendships.

Guys can seem like a completely different species at time, with their endless jokes and banter, seeming inability to be serious, and repeated calls of “Bro!” everywhere they go.

But are male friendships really so different from ours? Based on a very informal and unscientific survey, here are three misconceptions girls seem to have about male friendships that we are here to bust!

1. Guys don’t talk about their feelings
When I asked Marcus what quality time looks like for him and his guy friends, he responded quickly, “Playing soccer together and eating good food.”

I posed the same question to David, who said, “Chilling together, having casual conversations with lots of banter and joking mixed in.”

Out of curiosity, I asked, “What about heart-to-heart talks? Don’t you talk about your emotions?” With my girl friends, no quality meet-up is complete without a conversation about life, our struggles, and our joys. Connecting on a heart level is the priority when we meet. Don’t boys do that?

“I don’t think guys differ from girls in this aspect,” Ron responded. “Guys are a lot more emotional than girls think. Some need to talk and vent and cry, some prefer practical advice, some just need their friends to be there. Similarly, some guys can be more emotive and introspective when dealing with feelings and personal issues, while others joke around or are more ‘bro’ about it — they are all equally valid ways of connecting with each other.”

Perhaps as girls, we just don’t get to see the more emotional side of guys that often, but that doesn’t mean guys don’t talk about their emotions with their friends!

2. Guys don’t have best friends
During my growing-up years, having a best friend (or BFF) was all the rage. I remember feeling a sense of loss when I didn’t have one and felt as though I was lacking something.

Maria shared the same sentiment: “Having a best friend is important to me! It’s just the idea of knowing that there is someone as your immediate go-to person when something good or bad happens. You know that there is someone who has your back no matter what.”

On the other hand, when I asked Marcus who his best friend was, he looked at me quizzically and said, “Best friend? I don’t need one. Friends are just friends. Does the title really matter?”

Brian pointed out, “Guys don’t define who their best friends are as much as girls do. As long as everyone in a group can gel and relate to one another, it’s enough for me. I don’t necessarily need to put a lot of significance just on one person.”

Similarly, Chris said, “I might not have a definite ‘best friend,’ but I do have at least ONE close friend whom I turn to for advice and walk through life together with. My friendships with guys are pretty low-maintenance; we don’t need to meet and talk about our feelings all the time, but when I do have something to share, I know who to turn to.”

GUYS ARE A LOT MORE EMOTIONAL THAN GIRLS THINK.

While guys don’t seem to fancy the ‘best friend’ label, the close friends that they trust a lot and hold close to definitely perform the same function as BFFs!

3. Guys just joke around — they don’t know how to encourage each other
Janelle observed that while girls show their support to their female friends through gifts, words of affection, hugs, compliments, and quality time, guys seem to show their affection very differently — through their acts of service.

Using her boyfriend as an example, she says, “Mark doesn’t ever say ‘thanks for being here for me, Kevin ’ like a girl might do, but their appreciation for each other shows through the way they do things for each other without hesitation.”

Si Ying agreed: “Girls are more openly affectionate — we hug, write letters to one another, and so on!” With a laugh, she continued, “I feel like guys send very unemotional messages to their bros, like, ‘Jiayou, bro. Can one la.’ And then give each other a pat on the shoulder.”

When I asked Ron about whether the perception is true, he shared that for guys, encouragement is shown by “constantly checking up on my friends, tracking their progress, and just being a good listener. It doesn’t have to be much, but I just need to be there.”

Guys may not gush about how much they appreciate their friends, but it doesn’t mean that their friendships are devoid of affection and support. In the words of Jacob, “A fist-bump, a shoulder pat, or just a ‘Bro, I’m here for you’ speaks volumes for guys.”

DIFFERENT BUT THE SAME
Male and female friendships certainly are different, but they are each special and valuable in their own way. If we look beyond the surface, perhaps we will find that even though male friendships seem so dissimilar to female ones, they are actually just the same — providing the much-needed encouragement, support, and love that we all crave in this world. In the words of CS Lewis, “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself … It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”

How to Avoid Toxic Friends (And Be a Good One!)

Quek Shiwei — Mon, 01 Mar 2021 14:10:00 +0000

As the saying goes, three’s a crowd. I watched in anxiety as two of my closest friends paired off, leaving me out. For months, the three of us had been caught in a friendship triangle. No longer happy to be the ‘three musketeers’, two of us were now competing to see who would be the chosen ‘best friend’ of our favoured friend. Even as a primary school girl, I had learnt one thing — female friendships can be toxic. I spent hours feeling insecure about my worth and agonising over these friendships.

WHAT ARE FRIENDSHIPS FOR?
Any girl who has had toxic friendships must have wondered, “What is the point of this friendship if it only brings me pain?” I once came across this line by the poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge: “Friendship is a sheltering tree.” The image of a tree providing shade in the heat of life stuck with me. Perhaps friendship, at its best, can be a gift from God.

I then wondered where the idea of friendship came from. We can’t choose our family, classmates, or neighbours, but we can choose our friends. Why would someone willingly enter a relationship that may cause hurt and calls for the giving of time, affection, and effort, but with no guarantee of return? Who came up with this concept? It hit me that God Himself is Friendship. He is the Holy Trinity, three-in-one, God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit (John 16–17). In this friendship circle, there is no gossiping, bullying, or manipulation. Rather, the three are mutually self-giving, kind, and respectful. The Holy Spirit is humble and works quietly without jealousy. Jesus is sacrificial, giving His life for others, and submits to the Father out of loyalty. The Father leads with love and authority, never abusing His power. How many of us have friends like that?

THE REALITY OF FRIENDSHIPS
The truth is, many of us may be hard-pressed to think of many true friends. In a survey that Kallos did with 64 young women, we found that more than 80 percent of them have felt lonely at school. Also, many of them identified with statements like these:

“I have done something I didn’t want to because I felt pressured by my friends.”

“I have heard or seen hurtful things being said about me by my friends.”

“I have been (cyber)bullied by a friend.”

If you can identify with these statements too, perhaps you are currently in a toxic friendship. If that is the case, you may need to get out of this unhealthy friendship, hard as it may be. But how do you confirm if you are in a toxic friendship?

These questions may help:
• Do they cheer you on in private and public, or do they backstab you with gossip?
• Do they put their needs before yours, and do they use you for their own gain?
• Do they bully or manipulate you with some kind of weapon (such as a secret, leadership position, or hurtful words)?

If you think you are in a toxic friendship, remember that you deserve to be treated better and to have true friends. You may need to distance yourself from them, unfollow their social media pages, or even block them online. While it is noble to be loyal to your friends and not give up on them, there are times you may have to break off unhealthy friendships so that both of you have time and space to grow as individuals.

WE STAY IN TOXIC FRIENDSHIPS BECAUSE WE DON’T KNOW WHAT GENUINE FRIENDSHIP IS.

Often, we stay in toxic friendships because we don’t know what genuine friendship is. So how do we identify true friends?

WHAT A TRUE FRIEND IS
Long before Taylor Swift and Martin Johnson wrote the song “Two Is Better Than One,” the writer (often called Qoheleth) of Ecclesiastes penned the words that inspired the song as he painted a beautiful picture of what true friendship could be. According to Qoheleth, “two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labour” (Ecc 4:9). With two or more true friends, you can achieve far more than going alone. This is because true friends don’t put down each another or vie for glory as they work as a team. Did you know that Kallos was started by three teenage friends who wanted to do something for the young women in Singapore? Do you have spiritual friends with whom to achieve something for God and His kingdom too? If not, pray and seek out such friends!

On top of that, a true friend picks you up if you fall down (Ecc 4:10). While I was in university, a friend shared a tale of her past relationship, in which she was being pressured to have sex with her boyfriend. Thankfully, before that could happen, her grandfather suddenly entered the house, which caused her to realise the gravity of what she had been about to do. As she confessed her guilt to me, her burden was lifted. Through the years, I have rejoiced with her as she picked up the pieces of her past and found healing through prayer. True friends can pull one up from the pit and help one find hope again.

Qoheleth added that two are better than one because they can keep warm together (Ecc 4:11). When I was in New Zealand with my family, my one-year-old baby girl couldn’t sleep at night unless she cuddled next to me to keep warm. In terms of relationships, many are left out in the cold when they are betrayed or bullied. A true friend keeps you warm by staying close when no one else does.

Finally, true friends defend one another against attacks (Ecc 4:12). We are not always aware that we have an enemy, the devil, who is prowling around like a lion, seeking a chance to attack us in our weakest moments (1 Pet 5:8). For Amanda Teo, who wrote abouther struggles with masturbation in the Kallos book Real Talk: Exposing 10 Myths About Love and Sexuality, it helped to text her friends whenever she needed strength to resist spiritual attacks. Would you be a true friend for someone and be a ‘’sheltering tree’’ for them too?

FINDING THE TRUEST FRIEND
I recall the time I had to adjust to a new class in secondary school. I missed my old friends, who seemed to have found cooler friends. I spent recess time hiding in the toilet, sobbing as I avoided being alone in the canteen.

WHILE I WAS ALONE, I DID NOT NEED TO BE LONELY. JESUS WANTED TO BE MY TRUE FRIEND.

Those painful times became precious when I realised that while I was alone, I did not need to be lonely. Jesus wanted to be my true friend (John 15:15), and until I made Him my best friend, I would always be insecure. As I spent time reading the Bible, listening to worship songs, and getting to know Him, I realised that He would never leave me in the cold. Whether you are currently entangled in toxic friendships or struggling to find a true friend, remember that you always have a best friend in Jesus!

BEST FRIENDS FOREVER
When I was ten, one of the girls in our trio moved to Canada, and I lost touch with the other girl when we went to secondary school. A decade later, I met the first friend while on a trip to Canada, and another decade later, I reconnected with the second at a friend’s wedding. All our friendship toxicity melted away as we realised that we were now God-lovers trying to honour Him with our relationship and career choices. Our friendships had once centred on ourselves, but our renewed friendships centred on God and how we could encourage one another on this journey. Our toxic friendships have been replaced by true spiritual friendships, and I am all the more better for it.

Can a Christian Accept Evolution?

Quek Shiwei — Mon, 01 Mar 2021 07:35:00 +0000

It may surprise you that the answer to the question is “Yes!” There are many Bible-believing, God-loving Christians who think that evolution is an acceptable explanation for how life came about when they consider the available scientific data. However, it may also surprise you that there are a range of theories of evolution, and the popular idea that humans came from monkeys is not the only (or even primary) theory of evolution.

WHAT IS EVOLUTION?
The classic Darwinian evolutionary theory states that all species share a common ancestor, and variations amongst these species happen randomly based on an organism’s ability to adapt to different environments. Through the process of “natural selection,” the traits of the organism that best enables it to survive become more common in its descendants over time. This is the idea of the “survival of the fittest.” However, it does not explain how the first atoms came to be.

WHAT HAVE CHRISTIANS ACCEPTED?
Some Christians accept evolutionary creation or theistic evolution, whereby God is the creator of life and the first atoms, but used the evolutionary process to create all living things. The theory is that God created the first human by infusing a higher form of primate with a human soul.

Other Christians accept progressive creationism, according to which God created the first humans directly (not through evolution), but at several points in history, He also created new species by modifying existing creatures through “micro-evolution.” By this account, God would have directly created the first dog, from which new species of dogs then evolved.

One issue that Christians differ on is how literal the Genesis 1–2 account of creation is. On this basis, there are Christians who reject evolution completely and hold to young earth creationism, because they read Genesis 1 as saying that God created the world and its living things in six 24-hour days (“young earth” refers to how they do not believe that the earth is millions of years old).

DOES SCIENCE OPPOSE FAITH?
When considering views about evolution, there are some important questions for Christians to ask:
• Does this view go against core Christian beliefs (such as the death and resurrection of Jesus, God as the creator of life, and the reliability of Scripture)?
• Does it undermine the authority of Scripture given by God over our lives (2 Tim 3:16–17)?
• Does it deny that humans are made in God’s image, meaning that all human beings have inherent dignity, and the responsibility to look after God’s creation (Gen 1:27)?

Such questions help us to distinguish the ‘how’ questions that science answers (How did life come about? How did human beings become the dominant species on earth?) from the ‘why’ questions that faith answers (Why is God worthy of worship? Why love our neighbour as ourselves?).

DOES THIS VIEW GO AGAINST CORE CHRISTIAN BELIEFS?

When we do not confuse Scripture for a science textbook, we can arrive at a faith-based yet scientifically rigorous position. Scientific study involves careful observation, measurement, and experimentation to collect data that is used to develop, test, and modify hypotheses about how the world operates. A theory (such as evolution) is a hypothesis that has become widely accepted as the best way so far to make sense of the available scientific data (such as the age of fossils). But it is important to note that there are still many unknowns and that good scientists keep an open mind.

The key to approaching any scientific theory as a Christian is to be humble, neither being dogmatic about one’s position nor rejecting those that hold different positions. After all, what explanations one accepts from a theory of evolution does not determine what truths one believes and whether one is a genuine disciple of God. However, we should be wary when a scientific theory is used in a way that oversteps its limits (use the questions above to help you discern this).

THE BOTTOM LINE IS THAT SCIENCE AND FAITH DO NOT HAVE TO BE MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE.

The Darwinian view is not compatible with the Christian faith when it is used to reject God as the creator. On the other hand, other views of evolution can complement this belief. The bottom line is that science and faith do not have to be mutually exclusive. In fact, there are many respected scientists who are also prominent Christians, such as the biologist Francis Collins and the astronomer Jennifer Wiseman. When we acknowledge God as the creator who designed the natural world and its processes, we also admire Him as the ultimate scientist behind all scientific laws.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE HUMAN?
The questions that evolution theories seek to answer are really about the origins of life, what this says about being human, and how human beings are related to the rest of the natural world. No matter which theory you find most plausible, all Christians share certain basic beliefs about human existence.

Firstly, God made us in His image (Gen 1:26–27). This gives us dignity, worth, and purpose. We are not merely accidental products of random molecular processes, but intentional results of God’s workmanship (Eph 2:10).

Secondly, God willed us into existence (Ps 100:3). This means that we look to Him for the true meaning of our lives (Gal 2:20), and that our identity issues cannot be resolved apart from Him (Acts 17:28).

Thirdly, as humans created by the same God who created the natural world, we should not abuse our dominant position as humans to destroy nature through wasteful lifestyles (to “have dominion” in Gen 1:26 implies dutiful stewardship). Lastly, since God is the creator of all humankind, we ought to have compassion and empathy for all races, genders, and communities.

So, can a Christian accept evolution? Yes, but it depends on the definition of evolution, which must be tested against what the Bible says about human existence. While it may seem daunting to dig deeper into this scientific theory and how it relates to your faith, don’t be afraid to ask questions, do research, and bring your queries before God!

To dig deeper into this topic, check out these links!

Isabelle Lim: Deaf but Not Disabled

Quek Shiwei — Mon, 01 Mar 2021 07:18:00 +0000

Prior to meeting Isabelle, I was worried that parts of our conversation would be lost in translation as I do not know sign language. My worries were uncalled for. Her mother, Isabelle’s sign language interpreter, joined us and I watched how Isabelle’s mother patiently and swiftly signed Isabelle’s responses to my questions. Sometimes, she even completed Isabelle’s sentences before Isabelle finished signing. The close bond they share is undeniable; Isabelle teased her mum’s photo-taking skills with eye-rolls, and her mum would retort back playfully. While Isabelle and I could not converse verbally, her heart and passion for photography was heard loud and clear. Isabelle might be small-built, but she definitely has a larger than life personality. If I could describe her with two words, they would be “tenacious” and “inspiring.” Read on to find out more!

What are the earliest memories of your childhood?
My life started with an eight-month stay in the hospital. I have plenty of memories of hospital stays, visitations, check-ups, and different therapy sessions. But it’s not a painful memory as my parents gave me a happy childhood.

My parents sent me to different courses to learn art and drama. One of my happiest memories is an art course that I attended from four to ten years old. I felt like I was transported into another world full of creativity.

Have you been treated differently because of how you look or because you can’t hear?
I have eight fingers but people don’t realise it at first glance. My arms can’t be fully extended too. With new people, often times, the conversation starters are about my physical challenges and photography journey. I think because I do many things like others — writing, typing, eating, walking, photography — my disability isn’t that obvious.

DEAFNESS IS AN INVISIBLE DISABILITY.

What are some of the most awkward situations you have been in because people didn’t realise you are deaf?
Deafness is an invisible disability. Also, I don’t wear a hearing aid, so it isn’t obvious.

I have to use my phone to communicate my food orders. Sometimes I get wrong orders when I try gesturing, especially to elderly servers who don’t understand gestures or read English.

When people ask me for directions, they often say “Sorry!” and walk away when I tell them I’m deaf and I may need them to repeat themselves. There’s nothing to be sorry about; just text or write it out and ask me again.

I LEARNT NOT TO BE AFRAID OF MY DISABILITY... IT CAN BE MY STRENGTH.

When I meet new people, it can be a little awkward when they speak to me or speak without looking at me. I can attempt lip-reading but I may miss parts or most of the message. It’s even more challenging now with Covid-19! With people wearing masks, I can’t rely on lip-reading at all. Sometimes people also forget to gesture despite knowing I’m deaf.

Was befriending others in school a struggle for you?
Not really. As the only deaf student attending art classes with a small group of hearing students, everyone learnt together. Perhaps the children were young then and didn’t see any difference between us. I attended Singapore School For The Deaf in my primary school years. Everyone could sign so it was easy to understand each other.

I was thankful that in secondary school and LASALLE College of the Arts, I was never bullied. I was thought to be easy-going and approachable. Initially, classmates didn’t know how to approach me. I had to show them by typing, writing, or phone messaging. I had to break the ice first.

In secondary school, I was also thankful that there was a small group of deaf people spread out across different year groups. All of us could help each other.

How did you grow to become comfortable and confident in your own skin?
I had to accept myself first before others could accept me, and love myself before loving others. I learnt not to be afraid of my disability. It is not only my weakness, it can also be my strength. It just depends on how I view my disability; I don’t allow others to define my disability.

How did you turn your disability into your strength?
Sometimes I forget that I am deaf; I see myself as the same as others. But when there’s something I cannot do, then I realise that I am different. But that doesn’t stop me from trying to find a way to do it. My parents also remind me that I am uniquely different. They sent me to different courses like art, drama, dance, and sports for exposure. Every experience boosted my confidence. I stopped viewing my disability as a weakness but I started seeing the strengths I had, such as in photography. If it weren’t for the confidence built up over the years, I might not have been that adventurous to pick up photography in my later years.

I also cling on to the verses in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. I’ve always remembered the phrases “My strength is made perfect in weakness” and “For when I am weak, then I am strong.” It’s pretty much my life motto, and reminds me to depend on God for all things.

What inspired you to pick up photography?
I was inspired by my deaf primary school teacher. He was a photography hobbyist. He would show our class photos from school events after major examinations. We would all be laughing at the candid and “unglam” moments; it brought so much joy to our class.

Photography started out as a fun hobby but gradually, I started volunteering as an event photographer in school. I also participated in photography competitions and won an award. I started to post my photos on Facebook. One day, my uncle asked my mum if I had been looking though photography books. He told my mum that one of the very simple images of raindrops I captured was similar to a photo he saw in a museum taken by a renowned photographer! He told my mum to watch out for me as I might have some talent in photography.

Why did you decide to pursue photography as a career?
I remember school events where plenty of people were talking and I felt out of place and excluded. However, through taking photos, it felt like I was entering their world and I could connect with them and “hear” their conversations.

After attending the Institute of Technical Education (ITE), I was at a crossroads. Should I go to a polytechnic to pursue a diploma in accounting and have a stable job, or go to LASALLE for photography despite being unsure of where it would take me? I was praying to God to help me choose which path to take, and I experienced this peace when I chose to go to LASALLE. I wasn’t so keen to work from 9-5. I like to move around on the job. My job now gives me that freedom and I love that every job I take is unique. I believe God knows all that was on my heart, hence He led me to LASALLE to hone my skills.

PEOPLE SEE MY ABILITIES THROUGH MY PHOTOS; MY DISABILITIES AREN’T VISIBLE TO THEM.

After graduating from LASELLE, I started shooting. From 2016 till pre-Covid, I was mostly doing event photography but was moving towards family, portrait, wedding, and maternity shoots too.

What are some challenges you encounter on shoots since you aren’t able to communicate with your subjects verbally?
In some shoots where a lot of subjects are present, it does get overwhelming because there are many things to take note of. Before shoots, I will liaise with my subjects through text messaging or email to get to know them better. I prepare photo references and go through them with my mum. I will highlight key words of what I want to capture.

During the shoot, I sign the keywords to my mum. She roughly knows what poses I want and communicates that to the subjects, saying things like “Issy is going a little closer to you,” “Stay in your poses while Issy shoots a few more photos,” and more.

What is the most fulfilling part of your work as a photographer?
Making my clients smile when they look at the images I capture. When I did event photography, clients did not realise that I am deaf and that I was the one taking the photos. In a way, people see my abilities through my photos; my disabilities aren’t visible to them.

Fill in the blank. “To me, God is ____.” Why did you choose that word?
Faithful. Because His love and faith in us is unending. There are times we doubt ourselves. But God knows our abilities best, even better than our parents on earth! He is the author of our lives. How can we doubt God’s faith in us?

*This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

We Did A Bible Study Together!

Quek Shiwei — Fri, 01 Jan 2021 12:53:00 +0000

CHALLENGE RULES

Download the LifeGuide Bible Study on Ruth by Dale and Sandy Larsen.
Find a friend to do the study with you at least once a week (Deborah and Elicia did it twice a week!).
After completing each Bible study session, share your thoughts about what you’ve gleaned from Scripture.
Pray for each other at the end of each study. Have fun!

Challengers: Deborah Tan and Elicia Ling, both 16

Fun Facts: “We have been friends since 2017. We’re always seen together in school because we’re from the same class, CCA, leadership board, and are register-number partners too!”

FIRST THOUGHTS
Deborah: I am quite excited to do this Bible study because I love studying the Word and also because I’ve never done this with a friend. There is also a sense of fear too as the study guide appears quite daunting. Nonetheless, I’m sure this challenge will be fulfilling, and I can’t wait to hear what God has to say to the both of us!

Elicia: The thought of a Bible study is quite scary to me, as it is something I have never done before, and I am afraid that I won’t be able to understand the passages. However, I’m thankful for this opportunity to study the Bible with Deborah to hear her views and learn from her! I’m extremely excited to find out more about God’s Word and hear from Him!

BIBLE STUDY TIME!
Week 1: Judges 2:6–3:6 & Ruth 1
Deborah: I personally like how the study guide gets us to put ourselves in the characters’ shoes, and to reflect about our society today and our personal lives. The questions also allow us to share openly about some of our struggles in our Christian walk, think of ways to overcome them, and pray for each other. It was a very fruitful session which allowed us to be accountable to each other, and I’m looking
forward to the next one.

Elicia: When Deborah and I sat down and read the scripture carefully instead of skimming through it, we were able to analyse the passage and have a better understanding of the text. Also, Deborah and I usually do not pray for each other, but we did at the end of the session. It seemed like a small thing, but I was very grateful for that. Doing a Bible study together has definitely brought us closer as friends and as children of God!

Week 2: Ruth 2 & 3
Deborah: This week, we were able to learn more about the culture in Bethlehem in the past, such as what a guardian-redeemer was and why Ruth asked Boaz to spread a corner of his garment over her (Ruth 3:9). Furthermore, we took a deeper look into the values displayed by Ruth, Naomi and Boaz, and it made me see how much I can learn from these characters, such as Boaz’s generosity and Ruth’s selflessness.

Elicia: I really appreciate how the Bible study guide has very personal questions that invites personal response. This really allowed Debs and me to be vulnerable and share with each other. The questions made us think deeper about how we can apply what we learned from the Bible study in our daily lives. For example, we shared about what we are willing to risk to allow the Lord’s will to be accomplished in our lives. This was a tough but needed conversation, and we were able to pray for each other afterwards too!

Week 3: Ruth 4 & Matthew 1:1–6
Deborah: In this session, we studied the genealogy of Jesus from Boaz and Ruth onwards, which revealed how, throughout history, God has always been working and intervening to fulfil His ultimate redemptive purposes for the world, which we are all a part of. We also learned that God delights in faith and obedience to Him, such as Boaz’s, and good character, like Ruth’s, will be rewarded in due time.

Elicia: Today, we read the last two chapters of the study. We learned that God has a purpose for His children, and we can be used even in the most unexpected circumstances despite our current situation or background. All in all, we learned a lot from the book of Ruth, and there are many things we can apply in our daily lives!

FINAL THOUGHTS
Deborah: I realised there is a need for me to do Bible study regularly, so I can refresh my memory on some of the Bible stories and the lessons I can glean from them. It’s also important to dig deep into the Word, because it reminds me again of simple truths which are easily overlooked. Additionally, studying the Bible also makes me more aware of how I’m living and should be living as a Christian, probing me to make changes to let His will be done in my life.

Elicia: Since this was the first time I’ve done a guided Bible study, I really learned that there is a deeper meaning to each verse in the Bible than I thought. Merely scanning through the Bible is not enough. Bible study also helps us learn more about God and allows us to strengthen our personal relationship with Him. We are able to make clearer connections between Scripture and our lives. I really thank God for this opportunity to take on this Bible study challenge with Deborah! To know that we are able to support each other in our journey as Christians is very comforting, and I really hope to do another Bible study with Deborah in the future!

Deborah and Elicia’s tips for effective Bible study

1. Study the Bible in a quiet place. Put your phone away — remove distractions!

2. Don’t rush through the passage. Take the time to read it carefully.

3. Note the word choice in the verses (though do realise that the Bible you’re reading is a translation from the languages it was originally written in — Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek). Are any of the words particularly striking? What image do they evoke? This helps you to picture the situation at hand and empathise with the characters.

4. Think about what the verses tell you about God. Where is He throughout the events they depict? Every event in the Bible will reveal something about Him, whether His influence is obvious or not.

5. Think about what each character’s thoughts, speech, or actions reveal about their character, values, or beliefs. What can you learn from them? What should you not learn from them?

6. Journal your thoughts, reflections, and learning points!

Cherlyn Oh: Just An Ordinary Girl

Quek Shiwei — Fri, 01 Jan 2021 08:54:00 +0000

What do you think of when you hear the word “missionary”? Brave? More spiritual than others? A “superior Christian”? Cherlyn Oh, a missionary in Bangkok, doesn’t see it that way. Initially located in Chiang Rai for two years, a visa issue eventually led Cherlyn to an opening in Bangkok to do student ministry, where she has now been for five years. As Christian students are the minority in Thailand, she saw the pressing need to help university students grow in their faith and fulfil their call to be a salt and light, such that they can be a big positive influence in the society. Read on to find out how this “ordinary girl” left the shores of Singapore to be a missionary in Thailand!

Hi Cherlyn! How did your interest in missions begin?
It was actually from my dad. He used to serve on the Operation Mobilisation Logos ship before he got married. When I was a child, he would bring the family on the ship when it docked in Singapore. I also read books on Hudson Taylor, a British missionary to China, and my curiosity was piqued. After taking my ‘O’ levels, I went on my first short-term mission trip with my church to Chiang Rai. That grew the desire to find out more about Thai culture and missions in general.

How can a regular individual get involved in helping to abolish human trafficking? What did you do to prepare yourself for mission work?
I was actually trained as a social worker! When I worked as a social worker, I managed my cases using counselling theories and social work tools, and while they were useful, I was not able to openly share about Jesus in a secular environment. At one point I thought, “Actually, Jesus is the only one who can bring true healing to these families I am working with.” I wondered how I could integrate my faith and skill sets to meet people’s needs in deeper ways. Missions seemed like a platform for me to do that.

I became more involved in my home church, read more about missions, and talked to missionaries I knew. After I resigned, I went to Bible school. In the process, I had opportunities to get more contacts about possible places to go to or agencies to join. I continued to go on short-term mission trips and prayed about my next steps. I talked to family, pastors, and missionaries about what they thought. I also asked them, “What are my strengths?”, and “What should my direction be?”

I WONDERED HOW I COULD INTEGRATE MY FAITH AND SKILL SETS TO MEET PEOPLE’S NEEDS IN DEEPER WAYS.

What convicted you to “take the plunge” and commit to it entirely?
Eventually, several people (spiritual leaders and mentors) affirmed my decision. Since I studied Thai in university, I decided to go to Thailand.

My parents are Christians, but they weren’t super keen about me becoming a full-time missionary even though my dad was the one who “triggered” the missions desire. They suggested for me to go for short-term trips instead but not physically relocate there.

There were two things I was praying for as confirmation that I was making the right decision. The first was for my parents to give me their blessings. I was also praying that someone would take over my role in my home church. When I was finishing Bible school, I talked to my parents and they reluctantly gave their blessings with the condition that I was with a trusted organisation and was contactable. I went for a short trip to India thereafter and some hiccups occurred. I missed my connecting flight from Mumbai to Singapore and had to stay overnight at the airport with five Indian men in the same plight. My mum was worried because the New Delhi gang rape that happened in 2012 was a big news then. But God used those five men to take care of me well. They looked out for me, and one of them talked his way into getting us on board a Singapore Airlines flight at 10.30 the next morning instead of having to wait 24 hours for the next flight.

When I came back, I overheard some church aunties saying to my mum, “Aiya, why did you allow your daughter to go to India?” My mum responded, “God will take care of her.” I was touched that God was giving my parents peace. He also sent someone who willingly volunteered to take over my ministry role! With God answering both my prayers, it was a sign for me to go ahead.

HONESTLY, I WASN’T 100% SURE BUT IT LOOKED LIKE GOD WAS ALLOWING ME TO TAKE THIS NEXT STEP INTO MISSIONS.

How did people respond when you told them your decision?
There were mixed responses. Christian friends felt a little sad that I would be absent in church. Pre-believing friends were confused because it was the age to build a career instead.

Spiritual mentors and those in the mission field concurred that it was a great idea. But some in church commented, “We would rather you serve in church.” Some challenged me with, “Are you sure God really called you to go? Which Bible verse did you receive? Why are you so sure?” Honestly, I wasn’t 100% sure but it looked like God was allowing me to take this next step into missions. Enough people were supportive for me to not waver and to proceed.

What are some misconceptions about missionaries that you’ve realised are untrue?
I thought that I would be going to the market daily and giving out tracts to people. But such methods are not appropriate in Thailand. People are more open to relationship building before listening to what you say.

People often think missions is about going to a rural place, staying there alone and doing everything yourself. My dad also thought that I had to preach every Sunday. I don’t. We believe in partnering and discipling the local church or even teaching English or music to pre-believers and forming bonds with them.

The 21st century mission field is different from the past. Missions can also be helping to home school missionaries’ kids, manage financial accounts, or helping the missionaries with publicity to mobilise greater traction.

What is it like being a single woman in the mission field?
When I was in Chiang Rai, I underestimated the value of community. In Singapore, it was naturally available to me. It took me a while to realise I was lonely. I missed having my family around, friends who asked me out spontaneously, and even speaking Singlish with people in the same culture. I didn’t realise that all these nuances mattered!

I was also the only single in the team. In team meetings, the men would plan strategies and the ladies would talk about kitchen adventures or their children. I didn’t know if I should sit with the men or the ladies, or where I would fit in better. I felt out of place.

I was relatively young then so people in the village thought, “She’s just a girl and isn’t married yet.” I don’t get taken as seriously as an older man or a married woman.

During my loneliness, it made me wonder if I should settle down and find a husband. Whilst I was open to that, I was more aware that I am ultimately complete in Christ, regardless of my marital status.

GOD USES ORDINARY PEOPLE LIKE ME TO FULFIL HIS PURPOSES IN EXTRAORDINARY WAYS.

What final encouragement do you have for our readers?
I once went to share about missions at a local church and the pastor commented that I looked like an ordinary girl. Some people thought that wasn’t a nice thing to say.

But I knew what he meant and he was right. I am really am an ordinary girl, and God uses ordinary people like me to fulfil His purposes in extraordinary ways. As long as you are willing and available to follow His leading, He can and will use you for His glory and to be a blessing too!

WHAT SHOULD A TEEN GIRL DO TO PREPARE HERSELF FOR LONG-TERM OVERSEAS MISSIONS?

1. Pray and take steps to find out about the specific burdens you have for a country, people group or certain social issue.

2. Talk to people who know you and spiritual leaders who can give you honest feedback on the journey leading towards a possible future as a missionary.

3. Go on short-term mission trips.

4. Be involved locally in the meantime if that people group is already present in Singapore.

Are Tattoos A Sin?

Quek Shiwei — Thu, 26 Nov 2020 15:10:00 +0000

When Christians talk about the issue of tattoos, a common verse used to argue against getting them is Leviticus 19:28, which says, “Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD.” At first glance, the answer seems clear — tattoos are an absolute no! However, it is important to understand a Bible verse in its cultural context before applying what it teaches to our time and place. In this case, the command is related to specific practices of other cultures that worshipped idols. For example, some cut their flesh as an appeal to their gods (1 Kgs 18:28), while others tattooed the names of Canaanite gods on their bodies. Also, this verse from Leviticus sits in a list of instructions about holy living and appropriate conduct in a specific time and place, some of which are no longer relevant in modern-day society, like the length of a man’s beard (Lev 19:27) or the permitted materials for one’s clothing (Lev 19:19). It would not occur to you that wearing T-shirts, which are often a blend of cotton and polyester, could be a sin! It is clear that the response to whether having tattoos is a sin cannot rely on Leviticus 19:28.

Does this then mean that tattoos are all right after all, and so we should have no qualms about getting one? While there are some instances where the answer would be an outright no (e.g. getting a tattoo with satanic imagery or the names of other gods), I can’t answer that question directly for you. However, here are a few questions that I have often found helpful when dealing with grey areas:

What is your motivation for doing so, and is this the only way to fulfil it?
For some, getting a tattoo is innocent fun and helps them to express their artistic side. For others, it can be a sign of rebellion, to assert their identity in a way that differs from what their parents or society may expect. Tattoos are often seen as a rite of passage for people who join a gang and a way to declare where their allegiance lies.

One young lady whose body was covered entirely in tattoos told me that she was addicted to getting them because she liked the numbing effect that helped her forget her emotional pain. She had one done right before a church camp, and she felt that the physical effects were causing her to not be able to focus on God. In this case, getting a tattoo was the equivalent of a drug for her to escape her pain, which is not a healthy motivation.

Some may say that tattoos are OK if they are “Christian” ones (e.g. Bible verses, a cross) to help them remember to honour God. Unfortunately, having such a tattoo did not stop some women I know from having pre-marital sex and straying from God. It is by His grace that they came back to Him. If your goal is to remember God’s Word or to mark a spiritual milestone, are there any other ways of doing so that could be more effective and include your community to hold you accountable?

SOME MAY SAY THAT “CHRISTIAN” TATTOOS ARE OK IF IT HELPS THEM REMEMBER TO HONOUR GOD.

As daughters of God, we must bring our motivations to God, surrender them to Him, and let Him speak to us if any of them are unhealthy and need to be thought through again.

Does this honour your parents?
If, after studying God’s Word, you find that certain tattoos are indeed not a sin, would you still go ahead with getting one if your parents or guardians disapproved, and you may disappoint or hurt them? How would this affect your long-term relationships with them or your grandparents, siblings, and extended family?

How will others view this?
Tattoos are viewed differently in every culture. I encourage you to have conversations with people from different generations, industries, and countries, and be proactive and rigorous in finding out how tattoos can be viewed in each context. While they are increasingly accepted in many nations, they can still be a stumbling block to many. As our world becomes more connected, one Christian’s tattoo can deeply trouble a Christian in another part of the world.

A missionary friend tattooed a Christian symbol on his shoulder so that it would not be visible when he worked in different countries. However, he once went swimming in Romania with a Christian family, and the grandmother was so shocked to see it that she actually asked her son if this missionary was truly a believer. While I know he is one, his innocent tattoo caused a misunderstanding that could have long-term implications for his credibility in the mission field.

While we do have freedom to make choices guided by our interpretation of God’s Word and our conscience, it is helpful to remember Paul’s exhortation to “Be careful, however, that the exercise of your rights does not become a stumbling block to the weak.” (1 Cor 8:9).

Could this cause any long-term health issues?
It is possible to have skin infections and complications, as well as allergic reactions to tattoo ink, even years later. Some people have experienced skin inflammations, formed keloids, or even contracted blood-borne diseases such as Hepatitis B, C and the super bug called methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA). Though many colourings have been approved for use in cosmetics, the US’s Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has not approved them for use under the skin.

Will you regret this?
Unless you undergo painful removal treatments, tattoos are permanent, which is the whole reason why people want them. However, we do hear stories of people who get a tattoo of their lover’s name, only to regret it when they break up. Moreover, a certain tattoo may be fashionable in 2020, but look regrettably outdated in 2040. And while some industries are accepting of tattoos, many are not, which means a prominent tattoo may exclude you from some job opportunities or prejudice particular groups against you, however unfairly.

EVERY DECISION WE MAKE SHOULD BE EDIFYING TO OTHERS AND BRING GLORY TO GOD.

So, what’s the verdict?
As Paul noted, “not everything is beneficial” even though you might insist that you have the right to do anything you want (1 Cor 10:23). Every decision we make should be edifying to others and bring glory to God. Instead of asking, “What is right and wrong?”, I have often found it more helpful to ask, “Who do I belong to?” This has helped guide me in many decisions, so that I can make them from the position of being a beloved daughter of God, rather than out of fear of punishment from Him.

The Bible is not always explicit about every matter, but part of Christian maturity is taking the time to do the hard work of studying the Bible on topics that are not so clear, drawing out the principles that are relevant to us today, then applying them to our lives. Thankfully, God has given us the church community to help us discuss and interpret God’s Word together! When you can make decisions based on your personal convictions and conversations with others and with God through His Word and prayer, you are growing as a disciple of God.

NOT GONNA LIE – SYFC X KALLOS Conference

Quek Shiwei — Thu, 26 Nov 2020 01:10:00 +0000

This September, the #NGL Conference set out to unravel truths behind obsessive behaviours. We bring you the highlights from each session on how these women broke free from their obsessions.

FREEDOM FROM #FOMO ON SOCIAL MEDIA
Kallos: I (Doro) used to check my phone frequently whenever I posted a photo on Instagram. There was a need to know who liked and commented on my posts; it felt like a “stamp of approval” of my worth. Spending time consuming content online also left me jaded and envious. To actively change my habits, I swapped the position of my social media apps with something wholesome (news app, Bible app, etc.), set aside a fixed and limited time for social media, and set an in-app timer on my Instagram account to remind me that time spent on the app was up. We encourage you to go on a digital detox. The act of physically leaving your phone at home periodically in the day can be refreshing for your mind! We also challenge you to cultivate mind spaces to reflect in solitude or pursue healthy hobbies.

GRADES AND SUCCESS DO NOT DEFINE YOU
Liane Lim: I was once a delinquent student. I eventually started putting in effort in my studies and eventually, I did well enough for my poly exams to get shortlisted for law school. I was so excited when I started work. The feeling of not being academically-inclined previously but realising that I was good at my job slowly made me addicted to work and the pursuit of success.

When I became a Christian in the midst of my career, knowing that grades and success do not define me freed me from the constant pursuit of success. I had to continually seek God’s help to check my heart and refine me. Being accountable to trusted community to point out my blind spots helped too. Remember this — humility and lowliness is better than great results with much pride.

GOD’S LOVE > LOVE FROM MEN
Jennifer Heng: In the past, I have been with many boyfriends and I was sexually active with them. While I was a serial dater, I was not obsessed with romance per se. I was obsessed with wanting to feel loved! So, I dated anyone who said he loved me or showed affection towards me. I believed that romance could fill that hole in my heart. Yet, at the end of the day, that need was still not met.

It was only when I came to know God that I made my greatest discovery — only God can meet my need! Breaking free came easy. It was only after knowing God, that the deep need in my heart to be loved was met.

SEXUAL TEMPTATION HAS NO POWER OVER YOU
Noelle Wee: I struggled with masturbation as a teen and could not understand how I could be pure until I learnt that it is a battlefield of the mind; I must fight! Temptation actually has no power over us; it only has the power we give it. So I started to “de-power” it.

Whenever I came across sexual material that triggered sexual thoughts, I said this OUT LOUD: “… we take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ” (2 Cor 10:5). Then, I started practicing what Philippians 4:8 said (“… whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things”) and learnt to replace my thoughts with the word of God. Repeat these positive practices until it takes root in your life, and dare to ask for help!

WHEN PRETTY HURTS
Josephine Lam: Since I was a little girl, I was very concerned about how I looked. I always felt that I needed to look beautiful in order for people to like me. When I got to high school, I became so obsessed that instead of a pencil case, I would have a mirror in front of me in class!

The number one “makeover” of my life was the journey God took me on to find my true identity. True beauty comes from knowing who you are in Christ and I can’t tell you how valuable this is — knowing that I don’t need to compete with others when there’s a beauty that outlasts age, diets, and our clothes. It’s a beauty that comes from within and from having a relationship with the true living God. I realised that when we get obsessed with our physical beauty, we end up not growing our godly beauty. At the end of the day, there’s a hole in our hearts that only God can truly and completely fill — not these counterfeits!