Issue 21 – Kallos

What Korean Dramas Taught Me About Love

Quek Shiwei — Mon, 29 May 2017 16:00:00 +0000

Tell me — which girl doesn’t want to be rescued from difficult situations by a handsome and charismatic man? That’s not all! This flawless man will go to great lengths to pursue you. Pleasant surprises, fun dates, and endless adventures — he’s got the whole package. A crisis will come, but don’t panic! This man has everything under control. He will brave physical and emotional pain just for you, and somehow emerge unscathed. And at the end of it all, he will get down on one knee with a beautiful diamond ring in his hand, and you will squeal and cry because, somehow, it’s the one you have always wanted and you know you will both live happily ever after. The end. You might laugh, or even cringe, at this elaborate fairy-tale. But surprise, surprise! No matter the packaging, this is the basic plot of most K-dramas.

A CERTAIN TOXICITY

I admit that K-dramas really have a knack for creating stories that make a girl smile or blush uncontrollably at the screen (tsk tsk!). Despite knowing what to expect with every new drama, there is still a desire to watch it anyway because K-dramas skillfully capitalize on one of the innate desires of females — to be loved and pursued wholeheartedly by a certain special someone.

As innocent as these dramas may appear to be, there is a certain toxicity in K-dramas — they present a twisted definition of love.

Here are three things that K-dramas have taught me about love:

1. “He is THE solution!”

If you are a damsel in distress, fret not! A prince is on his way to rescue you.

Surprisingly (or not), the main actress often lands herself in predicaments too overwhelming and complicated for her to handle alone. Family complications, troubles at work, or even hanging off a cliff in a car (nice one, Song Hye Kyo); all of these perfectly crafted scenarios provide the perfect opening for the male lead to step in and prove his enduring love for her by showcasing his bravery, ‘cause you know what? He can handle anything.

All the way from the time when The Heirs and Boys Over Flowers were popular, Lee Min Ho was already risking his life for his dream girl. The recent dramas do the same. In Descendants of the Sun and Love in the Moonlight, Song Joong Ki and Park Bo Gum are depicted in the same way. A girl can only wish (sigh).

HAVE WE ALLOWED THE ROMANCE OF THE CHASE TO OBSCURE THE CHASER'S CHARACTER?

But we know that guys in real life are only human and don’t have all the solutions to our problems! If our first reaction to tough issues in real life is to turn to our romantic interests to solve them for us, we will be sorely disappointed.

2. “As long as he loves me!”

I don’t know why, but there are usually at least two men in most dramas who compete with each other to out-love that lucky girl. Oh — and out of the two men who pursue the same girl, the male lead (a.k.a. the bad boy) always wins.

While he isn’t usually the one who is the sweetest or gentlest toward her, that’s fine, because his charm is all that matters. Take for example Kim Tan in The Heirs — he was mean, rude, and cold towards the female lead Cha Eun Sang, but she fell in love with him anyway because she saw his ”softer side”.

“As long as he loves me!” becomes the only criteria for winning the girl over. Other factors take a back seat (who cares if he’s a jerk to her face? He’s nice to her when she isn’t looking!), and instead of focusing on the man himself — his character, values and beliefs, treatment of friends and family, maturity in handling situations etc. — we give so much weight to the manner of his pursuit of the girl instead.

In obsessing over K-dramas, have we allowed the romance of the chase to obscure the chaser’s character?

3. “He doesn’t have to ask!”

Korean dramas never fail to have me exclaim, “Omo! (Korean for “oh my goodness!”) Did you see how sweet he was?” As girls, our hearts are prone to flutter at cute gestures and endearing comments. We love a good love story, and we secretly wish to be swept off our feet.

But as I watched drama after drama, I noticed an interesting pattern. You know the scene: the female lead starts to walk away, but the male lead suddenly grabs her by the wrist, pulls her into his embrace, and as her eyes widen in surprise, he leans over and plants a gentle kiss on her lips. Her eyes close as she gives in to the moment, and we all swoon in contentment at this true love’s kiss.

But wait … What?! If a guy did this in real life, far from thinking that it is romantic, we’d probably slap the guy and run for our lives! Doesn’t it shock you that “just because he loves her”, the guy doesn’t need to ask for permission and wait for it to be granted when he wants physical intimacy?

It appears that in K-dramas, if a guy wants a girl’s body, it is his. She may pull away in apprehension and shock. But more likely, she will not resist, protest, or question his actions. Eventually, she gives in, and even enjoys it.

IS THIS LOVE?

When I realised that Korean dramas have warped my perception of love with a scripted and unrealistic model, it did not mean that I immediately banned myself from watching any more of them. In fact, I have just finished watching the legal thriller Innocent Defendant and enjoyed it thoroughly for its well-thought-out plot, excellent acting, and good values.

WE LOVE A GOOD LOVE STORY, AND WE SECRETLY WISH FOR A MAN WHO LOVES US TO SWEEP US OFF OUR FEET

In fact, K-dramas should be applauded for their brilliant cinematography and beautiful soundtracks. But when I became aware that my idea of romance had largely been shaped by what I watched on the screen, I thought it would be wise to take a step back to re-examine my uncritical consumption of Korean romantic dramas.

While I still allow myself to enjoy a good romantic drama, I am learning to practice discernment and awareness of my reactions to certain types of scenes. Instead of mindlessly accepting all I see, I am learning to look beyond scripted expressions of love and not blur the line between illusion and reality.

After all, I’m not a mermaid, a Goblin’s bride, or a weightlifting fairy — so I shouldn’t expect to live out their stories!

Turning Worries Into Worship

Jiamin Choo — Mon, 29 May 2017 16:00:00 +0000

August 2007. It was just a routine medical checkup and I had just collected my results. The nurse explained, “Everything’s normal, but your pancreatic tumour marker results are on the high side, above the acceptable range.” I blanked out. The doctor couldn’t give conclusive results but advised, “Repeat the test next month.” When he said backache was a symptom of pancreatic cancer, I began to worry as my lower back had been hurting for the past month.

On the bus ride home, tears fell quietly as I thought, “I’m only 25. What if I have cancer? How much longer do I have? Is there really life after death? Am I saved? Do I believe in the power of Jesus’ resurrection that, like the risen Christ, I’ll receive a new glorious body?” As the anxieties escalated, I felt God’s prompting: “Jiamin, do you trust that I am good?” I searched my faith and found it weak. So weak. I felt sad that I didn’t trust God as much as I wanted to. I asked Him to forgive me for my lack of faith. Although the situation seemed scary, I could choose to be swept away by fears or choose to think about what is excellent, pure and true — to fix my mind on God’s character instead of the situation. Yes, God is good. Cancer or not, He remains good.

The apostle Paul went through many worrying situations that could have torn him apart. Since becoming a Jesus follower, Paul suffered much through shipwrecks, floggings and sleepless nights. Yet while writing to the believers in Philippi (Phil 4:4–9), while bound in chains, he encouraged them to rejoice in the Lord always, not to worry about anything, but in everything, by prayer and with thanksgiving, to present their requests to God. Even though Paul was imprisoned, he talked about the Lord who is near, and whose peace will guard hearts and minds in Jesus. Instead of worrying, Paul urged the believers to think about whatever that’s true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy. This is a paradigm shift. We can turn worries into worship because our assurance is in the God of peace, and not the situation we are in.

September came and I retook the tumour marker test. The results remained high, and so a CT-scan was scheduled for October. At the hospital, as the long needles and CT-scan contrast liquid invaded my bloodstream, whenever thoughts of cancer and death crept in, I shut them out by turning worries into worship. I sang “The Lord’s My Shepherd” in my heart, and was comforted by His presence. The scan showed a suspicious ‘cloud’ near my pancreas, so a retest was needed to focus on my upper abdomen. I was scared stiff. But I reminded myself that God is in control and I shouldn’t be afraid. I shouldn’t worry as the results were not certain yet. Even if the results didn’t turn out well, God would help me fight my battle.

The results turned out fine in the end! The rescan revealed the suspicious ‘cloud’ wasn’t a tumour, but my intestines bunched up in a cluster! Changing out of the hospital gown, I fell on my knees and wept. It felt like a new lease of life. Although the two months of waiting for the truth about my health condition was awfully difficult, it broke me and drew me closer to God. It was during that trial that I experienced the sweetest intimacy with God, as I learned to turn my worries into worship of Him.

PRAYER
God, thank You for being excellent, pure, and true. When worries sweep over me, turn my thoughts towards You in worship, for You are bigger than all my troubles, and I place my trust in You. Amen.

REFLECTION TIME
1. In what ways have you seen God take care of you and your concerns?
2. What are some worries you have? Why do you think you struggle with them? Take time to pray and surrender them to God in worship.

DELVE DEEPER
Read and reflect on these passages for more about God’s character in the midst of challenging situations:
o Psalm 46
o Habakkuk 3:17-19
o Luke 12:22-34

HANDLES
Memorise one of your favourite Bible verses about God’s character. Write it out, Instagram it, or save it as a voice memo. When challenges come, pray those words aloud and take courage in the power of His Word.

Spotlight: Kristen Co-Founder Of KEJJ

Quek Shiwei — Mon, 29 May 2017 16:00:00 +0000

When you step into Kristen’s house, it is difficult to escape the fact that this is truly an artist’s home. With pristine white walls and beautiful pieces of her own artwork all around the house, the beauty of her home décor was an obvious reflection of her inability to resist using her creative talents in every detail of her life.

A speech therapist by profession and an artist by passion, Kristen (better known as @kristenkiong on Instagram) is one dreamer who knows how to turn her passions into reality. As a creative who is as spontaneous as she is adventurous, Kristen chose on a whim to begin a #100calligraphydays project that eventually turned into a talent for hand lettering and watercolour painting. Here’s her story!

Hi Kristen! You’re a co-founder of KEJJ. What does KEJJ stand for and how did it begin?

KEJJ is the initials of the four of us who founded the company — Kristen, Ern, Janna, Joel. Janna, Joel, and I were church mates, and I got to know Ern through a mutual friend! We met for brunch and it felt like a blind date, but we got along really well. We were all doing our own crafts and attracting people to our Instagram accounts for sales. I knew I couldn’t manage a site alone, so I gathered these people to ask if they would like to pull our forces together.

To be honest it wasn’t easy. We thought four part-timers would equal one or two full-timers, and perhaps we’d have a surplus of products right? No. It’s easy to keep saying you’d do it ‘tomorrow’. For the first two years of KEJJ we were actually quite stagnant for most of the year, and then we’d pop up with a Christmas flea or something. That, unfortunately, meant building our follower-base from zero each time. It’s still exhausting, but I’ve made a conscious resolution to keep pushing myself to contribute stuff to KEJJ if I want this to work.

What's most unique about KEJJ?

Our faith. When we think of KEJJ, we think about us creating (our craft), and the creation story (Genesis), which has formed the basis for the themes we began with — floral, galaxy and sea.

What's the most exciting thing KEJJ has done?

We’ve had a few charity projects but I think the most exciting thing we did as a full team was the Christmas Public Garden in 2015. Who knew running a flea was so difficult? We learnt a lot about store layouts, marketing, and running on overdrive without sleep. I think through the excitement, it dawned on me how amazing God is to have planned ahead of us and brought together four individuals of completely different skills aside from crafting: the photographer (Kristen), the creative director (Ern), the visionary (Janna) and the accountant (Joel) — skills we all had before KEJJ was founded.

DARE TO TRY AND DON'T BE AFRAID TO FAIL

How did you get started doing hand lettering, water colouring, and drawing?

I started drawing when I was a kid; Mum said it was the only thing that could keep me busy whilst she listened to the church sermons. I picked up hand lettering towards the end of my Speech Therapy post-graduate studies just as a personal project. I told myself, “If they can do it, I can too” and made myself practise with #100calligraphydays. I decided the end goal would then be to write my own wedding invites. Logically, the first word I should try to write would be my name, because (1) I’ve written it all my life and should be familiar with it; and (2) I’ll need my name in my wedding invites. It was only when my early clients started enquiring if I did commissions that I realised this “thing” could actually earn me some pocket money.

Since hand lettering and water colouring are extremely popular now, how do you stay relevant in the industry?

This is a tricky one, and I’ve been thinking about it. I think what sets me apart is that I do custom works of Bible verses with unique illustrations — people often order those for their houses. I also always make sure I suggest the most cost-effective and functional works that can be used in different settings, as well as provide holistic and practical advice to make sure that my artwork doesn’t just look good on its own, but where it’s supposed to be placed in their houses/wedding venues.

What will KEJJ be like in the next 5 years?

I am unfortunately, not the visionary of the team, but we’ve had talk about having more artists on board of KEJJ. We also have been looking at doing more charity work — something we’d need more manpower for.

There is a common belief that those who are “artistic” are naturally blessed with these talents. Do you agree?

I think a talent might put someone at an advantage at baseline before practise. But the practise plays a big role. Unfortunately I think many people write themselves off as having no talent before even trying, and that sometimes frustrates me.

What advice would you give to someone who is just starting to explore their creative talents in hand lettering and drawing?

It may not look good on your first try, but don’t give up. I used to ditch papers because the first five words didn’t look good, but I learnt to press on and realise that the small mistake I’d made earlier didn’t show up that much once everything was done.

What is the one thing on your heart that you would like to share with this generation of girls?

Dare to try, and don’t be afraid to fail. You don’t have to be good at everything! Also, find your identity in Christ for we do all things in Christ who strengthens us, not by our own strength!

Loving God With Your Mind

Hannah Leung — Mon, 29 May 2017 16:00:00 +0000

Growing up as a second-generation Christian (meaning that my parents were Christians before I was born), I grew up learning about God through reading the Bible, praying, and going to church. Thus, if you asked me a few years ago if I knew who God is, I would immediately answer, “YES!” I was familiar with the epic Bible stories (think Noah’s ark and the story of Jonah), and I knew that God’s beloved Son, Jesus Christ, died on the cross for our sins.

Then I met a friend in 2013 who made me rethink my sure response.

Tim (not his real name) was openly agnostic and cynical about God. As I got to know him more, I felt determined and even compelled to influence his thinking and beliefs about God. Since we were both in the same class, I had many opportunities to talk about God with him. However, my initial enthusiasm slowly waned as every attempt I made to refute his views were promptly shut down with a question I couldn’t answer or a statement I couldn’t refute. Soon, the only word I managed to say in our conversations was “But …” followed by a long, deafening pause, and finally, a sigh. While I remained resolute about my faith, I also felt like it had been shaken right to its core. It didn’t take long before I realised this: I was struggling to talk about God because I barely knew Him. I knew of His many acts through the Bible, yes, but it was probably to the same extent that I knew about Lee Kuan Yew from my social studies textbooks.

Besides having to nurse an ego bruised by my agnostic friend, more importantly, I had to face a sobering question: How can I claim to love a God I don’t know? My mind had become lazy and my thinking was stagnant when it came to God. I did not engage my mind to think about Him, and that led to my failure in testifying about Him. I had so little to say about a God I thought I knew to be so big!

WHO IS GOD?

When Jesus was asked about the greatest commandment, He replied with this command: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.” (Matt 22:37–38).

There was a desire within me to know God more, but I busied myself with church activities rather than get to know the One I was serving. As I began to wrestle with my lack of knowledge about God, I started to ask deeper questions about the God I grew up believing in. I was shocked to find that my understanding of Him was actually pretty shallow. These questions stirred a hunger to read the Bible and find out who God says He is, and not who I say God is. I expected to become more “enlightened” through asking questions and gaining answers, but the funny thing is, the more I knew, the more I realised I didn’t know!

God as I know Him today is very different from God as I knew Him four years ago when I first met Tim. In learning about who God is, my trust in Him and my love for Him grew and thus matured.

HOW CAN I CLAIM TO LOVE A GOD I DON'T KNOW?

HOW CAN I KNOW GOD?

In my journey of knowing God, I have learned that God is not a God who hides. In fact, God is all about revealing Himself to us! So how can we know Him?

Read the Bible

This is a basic discipline in our Christian faith. Unfortunately, we (myself included), have tossed Holy Scripture aside. But reading the Bible is so important because it builds our knowledge of Him, and when we know His word, we can love Him more fully. After all, history is His-story! And guess what? The main character in this story is … God!

Persevere through all seasons

Let God reveal Himself to you through the various times and seasons that you go through in life. Ecclesiastes 3 says this: “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” In each season of your life, God reveals a part of Himself we might have found hard to understand or relate to in our previous seasons. When we struggle with questions or concepts about God that we cannot seem to understand, we can trust that God is taking us on a journey of revelation. Moreover, I have found that wrestling through difficult questions produces a faith that runs deeper than before.

Remain Humble

We often hear this verse from Proverbs 3:5 — “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” As I have mentioned, the more I learned about God, the more questions I seemed to have. While there are still days that these questions really bug me, I’ve learnt to recognise that it’s alright for me to not know everything. God, who is good and loving, knows all things, and therefore, I can trust Him. An attitude of humility gives you the right position to look up to the greatness of God. Truly, blessed are the meek! In contrast, an attitude of pride can be a barrier towards knowing God because we take the position of “God” in our lives.

THE MORE I KNEW, THE MORE I REALISED I DIDN'T KNOW

GOD REVEALED

While God pursues us and desires to make Himself known to us, we are still bound by our human mind. Once, someone in church said this to the congregation: “Whoever claims to know God fully is shrinking God to only what he can explain.” There are many things about God that we may not understand in this lifetime. God is someone who is far greater than us, far wiser than us, and far more beautiful than we can ever imagine.

As we open the Bible and allow the Word to teach us about who God is, may our growing understanding serve to continually humble us before a God that is so great and so beautiful. There are not enough words in the English dictionary to describe the vastness of who God is, and even language itself cannot fully express just how great He is! As we engage our minds to know Him more, the guaranteed sense of awe and wonder that will come will surely lead us to a place of adoration and admiration, which will ultimately mature our love for God. Surely, as we pursue God in our minds, the greatest command to love God and our neighbour will not seem daunting and impossible, but a command we take immense pleasure in obeying.

Dear Kallos: My Mum Hates My BFF!

Alina Teo — Mon, 29 May 2017 16:00:00 +0000

My mum hates my BFF and I can’t understand why. When she came over to my house one day, my mum thought that she was really rude and that she was not a good influence on me. We come from very different family backgrounds, but we get along so well. This was the girl who spurred me on for Christ. What should I do? – Caught In The Middle

dear Caught In The Middle,

We’re sorry to hear that your mum didn’t take well to your BFF. Sometimes, first impressions make us jump to conclusions about people, but that doesn’t mean that those impressions will remain as they are. Give it some time! We’re glad that you have a friend who has been so influential in your life, and it must be difficult to feel torn between her and your mum. We encourage you to share with your mum about how your friend has helped you along in your journey with God, as well as other times that she has been a good influence on you. We’re sure that your mum means well and might have just gotten the wrong idea. As difficult as it may be, honour your mum by not reacting badly to her negative comments, but seek to explain your point of view in love and gentleness. With time, we hope that your mum may come round. Friendship is a gift from God, so we pray that this godly friendship will spur you both on to love and serve God, growing in His ways.

dear Pained,

We are so sorry to hear about the passing of someone so dear to your close friend. It must be such a hard time! Having personally walked through a similar period with a good friend, I know how helpless you feel. However, we are certain your presence during this tough time has already spoken volumes without any words. Don’t belittle these actions of yours losing someone we love is very painful and therefore, death is usually seen as an unpleasant thing. However, knowing that in Jesus there is life eternal, we need not fear! Christ has won the victory over death. We can be rest assured that we will meet these Christian brothers and sisters once again in heaven. Knowing that God is in control in our heads is often a much easier process than knowing it in our hearts. Give your friend time to grieve. It is a necessary step before one can move on. We encourage you to pray for your friend, find ways to cheer her up and simply be there for her. You are doing great!

Three Weeks At Grandma’s

Quek Shiwei — Mon, 29 May 2017 16:00:00 +0000

CHALLENGE RULES

For 3 weeks, visit your grandparents once a week for 2 hours or more.
Note down your aim for each visit. For example, to find out more about their childhood, to listen patiently when they share, or to learn how to cook a simple dish from them etc.
Record thoughts and feelings before and after each visit.
Have fun!

Challenger: CHERYL WEE, 19

Fun Facts:
1. Tea-lover; has a huge weakness for green tea
2. Enjoys watching Youtube
3. Has a unique habit of crafting weird words and phrases (E.g. calling broccoli “brocs”)

INITIAL THOUGHTS

My grandmother is an extremely outgoing, active and generous woman. Ahma expresses her love to her children and grandchildren alike with our favourite foods, and frequently lugs bags of huge ripened fruits to our house whenever she visits. While I see her almost every Sunday, I find it difficult to hold a conversation with her. I was apprehensive when I received this challenge as Ahma and I have never been close! I am going to call Ahma today to inform her of this challenge and the photoshoot we will have together. I feel extremely nervous because I do not know if she will agree to it. This is also one of my first ‘official’ phone calls to her in a really long time.

UPDATE: I just called her and she has gladly said yes! I’m shocked at how happy and excited I feel! Perhaps, it was how readily Ahma said yes. It was such a dear moment hearing her try to hide her excitement of being in a photoshoot and a part of a challenge for a magazine! I already feel a little bit closer to her just through a phone call.

Week 1
I felt extremely nervous on my way to her house as this was my first time initiating a visit to her place! Surprisingly, the visit went well and we talked quite a bit! I shared with her the University courses I was interested to take while she shared her opinions. This conversation dispelled my preconceived notions about us not having common topics to talk about. She suggested that I study Pharmacy in University as she has heard good things about it. Though I am not exactly interested in it, hearing her share her knowledge with such excitement and gusto was heartwarming! I hope to have more of such conversations with her.

Week 2
Honestly, I still can’t get used to the idea of visiting her. It still feels pretty weird and awkward to me since this is something I don’t do regularly. Today, my uncle’s and my family joined me for a Sunday lunch with Ahma. I tried to be intentional in relating to Ahma by sitting beside her and trying to include her in the conversations. Each time I realised that she was slightly lost at the conversations in English, I tried to explain in Chinese or give her some context. During lunch, I felt extremely touched when she told me to have more of the fish she bought and fried, and how happy she was when I told her that her cooking was amazing. After lunch, I took the opportunity to chat more with Ahma. I asked her how she cooked the fish — she was so excited to tell me all about it. Also, my grandmother was still pretty insistent that I consider Pharmacy (haha).

Week 3
To be very honest, today’s visit was a struggle for me. I had woken up early and was still recovering from a flu bug that made me very lethargic, so I contemplated not going. However, Ahma’s place is undergoing some renovation, so my dad, brother, and I went to help her with the manual labour. On the way there, I decided to buy some kueh from Bengawan Solo since she always buys us food and kueh seems to be something she enjoys! It was a memorable visit because it was the first time I got to “work together” with Ahma! It was super cute to see her in action — it was a side of her that I had never seen before. When I went to the kitchen to get the kueh, Ahma was shocked! She looked at me and said: “这个是给我的阿? 哎哟谢谢阿!” (“Is this for me? Aiyo, thank you!”) It warmed my heart tremendously. I realised today that time is really passing by so quickly and that my grandma is no longer as strong as before. She couldn’t handle cleaning up as often as before and she commented “我老了沒有力了” (“I am old and lack energy”). It felt nostalgic because I used to help her clean the house when I was a young child.

FINAL THOUGHTS

This challenge has helped me to look for opportunities to interact with my Ahma and from here on, I hope that I can continue to be intentional about speaking with her and visiting her. I also hope to be more involved in her life. At the heart of all these actions, I just want to show her that I love her! My biggest learning point would be the importance of being intentional in relating to my Ahma. Though my Ahma and I see each other weekly, I realized that it was a choice on my part as to whether or not I wanted to meaningfully engage with her. While I am busy growing up, I have forgotten that my grandmother too is growing older and I know little about her. I’ve learnt to be patient amidst frustrations when relating and conversing with her, but I’ve also learnt to better understand the good intentions behind her every nag!

Dig Deeper: The Truth About Post-Truth

Quek Shiwei — Mon, 29 May 2017 16:00:00 +0000

Fake news alternate facts

FAKE NEWS. ALTERNATIVE FACTS. These are buzzwords in the wake of events like Brexit (the departure of the UK from the European Union) and Donald Trump’s successful US presidential campaign. The question on everyone’s mind is: what is true? It is no longer clear. No wonder Oxford Dictionaries announced that their Word of the Year for 2016 was “post-truth”! In such a world, does truth still exist?

The antithesis of faith is not doubt but indifference. Put differently, the danger is not in doubting, but in the movement toward apathy. Doubting enters the ‘danger zone’ when its effect diminishes your desire to engage with God. As such, you may allow doubt to visit your mind but be sure to ban it from becoming its ruler.

What is post-truth?

Facts are out. Feelings are in. In short, post-truth describes a situation where facts play a lesser role than feelings in determining what people think is true. Fact-based truth is irrelevant. Feelings are true.

In the name of freedom and honesty, truth is often bent to get what we want, meet our needs, and suit our choice of lifestyles. Thus, a simple fact such as “I have a female body, and therefore I am female” is seen to be as true as “I have a female body but feel like a man, so therefore I am actually a man.” Feelings are the ultimate standard of truth.

Pontius Pilate was a post-truth guy. When Jesus declared that He came to the world to bear witness to the truth, Pilate scoffed, “What is truth?” (John 18:38). Though he knew Jesus was innocent, he let Jesus be punished as a guilty man. Truth was irrelevant, so chaos reigned.

Like a broken compass that can no longer point true north, the world is lost without a sense of truth. It is now the trend in the media and universities to claim that we belong to a post-truth culture. But if the so-called experts say that we live in a post-truth world, how do we know they are telling the truth?

What is truth?

Truth is more than facts, or certainly alternative facts. Truth is a person. Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6). Truth and life come hand in hand. But, the truth about post-truth is this: it brings death. Post- truth says, “I can believe anything I want, as long as I don’t claim it to be the only truth.” If nothing is true (and nothing can be false), then nothing has meaning; if nothing has meaning, then life has no meaning. No wonder teenage depression and suicide in Singapore is on the rise! According to the Samaritans of Singapore, teenage suicide rates are currently at their highest in 15 years.

Our response

Churchill said it well: “Truth is the most valuable thing in the world, so valuable it is often protected by a bodyguard of lies.” The textbooks, teachers, and media may claim that “God is dead” and “Truth is dead.” Therefore, we can make up our own rules and live how we want. However, they forget that Jesus didn’t stay dead; He came back alive! Truth is neither irrelevant nor outdated. It is so comforting to know that in our world of fake news and alternative facts, one thing remains constant — God is truth.

What Is Love, Actually?

Benita Lim — Mon, 29 May 2017 16:00:00 +0000

The air in the classroom was humid and stale as Mr. Ng droned on about covalent and ionic bonds. Half the class was as still as non-reactive atoms, and the other half were fidgety molecules in their dark blue plastic chairs. Five more minutes before school was over, and all of us could hardly wait.

It’s Mum’s tenth death anniversary today. She died shortly before I entered primary school, and I am now about to take my ‘O’ levels, praying hard that I’d at least get into a mid-tier JC with cheaper school fees.

But Mum’s death anniversary also meant the annual visit to her grave site after school with Dad … in that ancient beast of a lorry that would herald its arrival without even having to honk.

The countdown to the school bell ringing was especially excruciating for me. What should I do before the Embarrassment arrives? Should I go to the toilet and wait until everyone leaves? Should I … Cllk-lllkk-kkk-cllkk! My insides twisted. The roar of a large diesel engine snapped everyone out of their stupor. Everyone in class turned to me and sniggered.

“Eh, May, your dad very on time leh! More on time than our bell!” Nick behind me didn’t even bother to whisper.

I rolled my eyes. A babble broke out and the class began to pack their books. Mr. Ng tried to get our attention but he was drowned out by the engine noise.

The school bell went off, and my class promptly dismissed themselves. I trudged down the stairs and headed towards the source of the noise.

“Ah May! Today so on time ah?” Dad boomed. “Want to eat lunch before visiting Ma’s grave? Let’s go eat your favourite chicken rice!”

“It’s okay, I’m not very hungry. It’s been a long day and I have homework to do. Let’s just go visit Ma’s grave and go home.”

“Har?! Cannot lah, wait you got stomach pain again how?”

“Can we just go for a quick lunch? I’m really not hungry.”

I climbed up the lorry and slammed the door shut. The engine roar was starting to give me a headache, and I still couldn’t get over being seen in the vulgar presence of the lorry.

IT'S MUM'S TENTH DEATH ANNIVERSARY TODAY...

But I started to feel guilty as I stared out of the window all the way to the cemetery. I know Dad cares, but teenage angst and a long day at school got the better of me. Now and then, I could sense Dad glancing my way as he expertly manoeuvred the rickety, nine-year-old lorry through the traffic. Dad’s karang guni* business relied on this vehicle, and so did my education. Honestly, I often wished that my dad was well-educated and had a good office job so that we didn’t have to worry about money so much. And that he’d ooze with charisma and eloquence like some of my friends’ fathers, who look like they have everything going for them — a luxurious, quiet car included.

The lorry screeched to a halt; we had arrived. I climbed out of the vehicle and into a place starkly different from the school that was bustling with people and life. Here at the cemetery, silence reigned, as did quiet reminders about death.

The flowers that we left at Mum’s grave last year were gone. I placed fresh ones that Dad had brought along on her grave.

These blooms seemed to inject a little more life to the dead quiet. I began clearing the dried leaves from Mum’s grave, and as I did, I read her favourite Bible verse engraved on the tombstone: Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. … And the second is like it: Love your neighbour as yourself. — (Matt 22:37, 39)

For the first time in my life, I was curious. Why did Mum love this particular verse?

It dawned upon me then that the busyness of school had filled up the void that Mum’s death created, and Mum was slowly becoming a hazy, distant memory.

Perhaps if I dug into this verse that she had chosen for her tombstone, I could find out more about my late mother who bore me and left me too soon …

Find out what May learns about her mother in parts 2 and 3 of the story to be published in Kallos Issues 22 and 23!

*Malay for “gunny sack”, the Singaporean way of describing a rag-and-bone man who collects discarded items for a living.

Banished For Menstruating

Isabel Phua — Mon, 29 May 2017 16:00:00 +0000

STATISTICS

KNOWN LOCALLY AS A “GOTH”, MENSTRUATION HUTS ARE A COMMON SIGHT IN WEST NEPAL

OUTLAWED BY THE SUPREME COURT OF NEPAL IN 2005 TO LITTLE EFFECT

80% OF THE NEPALESE POPULATION ARE HINDUS

WHAT IS IT?

Chhaupadi is an ancient tradition mainly practiced in the western regions of Nepal, where menstruating women are banned from participating in daily activities due to them being “impure”. Women are banished from their houses and kept in a cattle shed or makeshift hut for the duration of their period. A woman who has just given birth is also considered impure, and is likewise confined in these huts for 11 days. While on their period, women are forbidden to touch anyone else for fear that others will fall ill. The women are also barred from consuming dairy products, meat, and other nutritious foods, as it is believed that doing so will bring a curse upon those goods. Instead, the women must survive on a diet of dry foods, salt, and rice while living in these less than ideal conditions.

WHY WON'T IT END?

Even though the United Nations and many other organisations have increased efforts to end chhaupadi, it is very difficult to convince the older generation to abandon this long-held tradition. Many believe ending the practice will result in punishment from their gods, and women who turn their backs on the practice are blamed for crop failures, illnesses, and sudden deaths of animals. In these communities, trying to end chhaupadi is an uphill climb as most people — including women — do not know much about reproductive health and why menstruation happens.

WHY IS THIS A PROBLEM?

Apart from being discriminatory, chhaupadi is also a dangerous tradition. In December 2016, a 15-year-old girl died from smoke inhalation when she lit a fire in the windowless shed to keep herself warm. In addition, the possibility of wild animal attacks, fatal snake bites, and even violent rape, make this tradition a potentially life-threatening one. Furthermore, these women are often not allowed to draw water from wells, making it difficult for them to practice personal hygiene, and putting themselves at the risk of infection. In the case of new mothers, good nutrition and a clean environment is crucial for mother and child, yet these basic rights are denied them. Even though the practice has been outlawed since 2005, little progress has been made due to a lack of enforcement. There are no fines or legal action taken against those who practise chhaupadi.

PRAY FOR:
– The Nepalese government to take the issue seriously and press legal action against the practice of chhaupadi
– Organisations trying to put an end to chhaupadi, that God will expand their efforts and soften the hearts of people they reach out to
– Divine protection upon the affected women, that they will be free from harm while banished in menstrual huts