Issue 22 – Kallos

What Is Love, Actually?

Benita Lim — Mon, 23 Mar 2020 16:00:00 +0000

Recap: It is the tenth death anniversary of sixteen-year-old May’s mother. As May and her father pay a visit to her grave, May learns more about love through the life her mother lived.

My thoughts were interrupted by a loud sniffle. Dad had seated himself on the side of the tomb, gazing at Mum’s picture as silent tears rolled down his wizened cheeks. It had been a while since I took a good look at his face; the years of being in the sun, honking that all too familiar horn and calling out for discarded goods as a karang guni man had definitely aged him.

I reached into my backpack and handed him some tissue paper.

“Thank you, Ah May. I really miss your Ma.”

“Me too. But I’m glad she doesn’t have to suffer from cancer anymore.” A few moments of silence passed between us.

“Um … Pa?” I paused.

“Yes, May?”

“Why did Mum choose this verse for her tombstone?”

“Your Ma loved this verse because she lived by it…” Tears welled up at the memory. Dad wiped his face and sat up. “She was the kindest woman I’ve ever met. She was always smiling, always loving everyone around her, and always putting other people’s needs before herself. Your Ma was the one who showed me Jesus’ love in a very real and personal way.”

I was stunned by Dad’s sudden eloquence. It was as though he had repeated this line to himself in countless rehearsals, so when it was finally spoken, it flowed out with firm conviction and tender fondness.

“How did that happen? Tell me more,” I gently pressed.

“Hmm. This was even before you were born, Ah May. We were just married and were on our honeymoon in Kota Kinabalu. Your ma loved nature and we were at one of the most beautiful beaches in the world, Tanjong Aru beach, because she wanted to see the sunset.”

“But you know me la, I don’t like nature, I like creature.” He guffawed at his wit. I slapped my forehead in mock horror and laughed along.

YOUR MA WAS THE ONE WHO SHOWED ME JESUS' LOVE ...

“So, as I was walking around picking up shells and looking at the things people left behind on the beach, suddenly I heard a scream. I quickly turned to see what was happening — wah! There was a little girl struggling in the water a few metres deep into the sea. As I was running to help, I saw someone already inside the water swimming towards her. Guess who it was!”

“Was it Mum?” I widened my eyes.

“Yes! But you know what’s the funny thing? She doesn’t know how to swim!” He chortled.

“Oh no! Then how?!” I gasped. “I don’t know how, but she managed to kick her way to the girl and grabbed her. Then, as though your Ma suddenly remembered she couldn’t swim, both of them started to scream for help!”

With a smile, he shook his head. “Thank God, somehow I knew this would happen and I just ran and swam over to them, and managed to pull both of them back to the beach.”

“That must have been really scary! What was Mum thinking if she didn’t know how to swim?”

“Ya it was scary! The high tide was coming in very fast, and the little girl got scared because she can’t swim well. She shouldn’t have been swimming at that time also! Now that I think of it, it was really quite dangerous lah.

But you see, this is your Ma … She saw someone who needed help and straight away went to save her. If your Ma knew how to swim, of course it is right that she should help. But your Ma couldn’t swim, and she still risked her life for people she doesn’t even know!”

“And you both just got married!” I said. “How did you feel after everything happened?”

“I felt a bit angry that she would do such a thing when we only just got married! What if she drowned and left me behind? But she said to me, ‘Seng ah, every life is precious … Can you imagine how sad the parents would be if they lost their young daughter?’

I said that I would also be sad if I lost my wife, but your Ma said, ‘Well, we have God who loves us and our lives are in His good hands no matter what happens. Even if we die, we have eternal life and will meet again with Jesus, right? So, don’t worry, we are free to love our neighbours and even give up our lives for them!’

Wah, I tell you, after she said that, I was even more sure that I chose the right woman to be my wife.”

My heart swelled with joy as I listened to Dad share about Mum. Even in her death, her faith lives on in the memories she left behind. How did she love God with all her heart, soul and mind then? I couldn’t wait to find out.

The spiritual legacy of May’s mother continues in the next and final part of the story, to be published in the next issue of Kallos. Stay tuned!

What #Squadgoals Taught Me About Friendship

Natalie Hanna Tan — Sat, 29 Jul 2017 16:00:00 +0000

A bunch of friends against a white wall or a pretty backdrop, all huddled up together or doing a similar pose. Click, picture taken. Uploaded on Instagram or Facebook: #squadgoals. Post.

We’ve all seen such pictures flooding our social media accounts and perhaps we ourselves have even posted these pictures before. These friends are your #baesforlife, your BFFs — or at least, you hope they will turn out to be.

For some, #squadgoals may be used when you and a friend happen to wear the same outfit on a particular day, or when your friendship group all pose in a particular way for a picture. #Squadgoals, in this case, refers to a fun and cool coincidence or event. For others, however, it can go much deeper than that … #squadgoals could be used to show that you and your friends have reached the ultimate point of closeness, an exclusive term saved only for your squad and your squad only. The word “goals” implies that this is something others should aspire toward and try to achieve; something to be jealous and envious of.

Pictures tagged with #squadgoals exploded onto the scene when the hashtag first made its appearance a few years ago, but now as the hype is slowly dying down, let’s really think about the effect it has had on us and the ways we view friendships around us. Here’s what models: Olivia Poh, Jovy Sim, Amanda Woon #squadgoals taught me about friendship.

1. Friendships Are Harder Than They Look Online

Perhaps the biggest problem with #squadgoals is the external picture of the friendship it portrays. On social media with pretty edits, we often only see one side of the friendship — the better, easier, and seemingly perfect side. We see cliques laughing and having a good time, or knowing each other so well that they can dress alike. While these pictures could really be a representation of how close the friendship is, it can be easy to forget that there’s a whole other side that’s been cut out of the picture.

We don’t see the pain of inevitable misunderstandings, the time taken to understand each other, or the intentionality needed to become close. The truth is that friendship is a big investment. To develop a close relationship, the parties involved have to sacrifice a lot behind the scenes. A #squadgoals picture just presents an outward representation of friendship without the reality of the effort that goes into building it.

THE TRUTH IS THAT FRIENDSHIP IS A BIG INVESTMENT

2. Friendship Isn't Always Instagrammable

When we begin to measure friendships against what we see posted online, we may create unrealistic expectations in our own friendship groups. Whether it is desiring the same “closeness” for ourselves or trying to force impossible standards upon our existing friends, #squadgoals may temp us to pretend we are closer friends than we actually are.

As relational beings, we are made to desire community, and we all want to be a part of something bigger. #Squadgoals emphasises that. However, a community can take different forms, and it isn’t always going to look Insta-ready! Who is to say that an undocumented conversation over a meal isn’t as valuable as the big group holiday complete with inflatable donuts and flamingo floats? Just because we aren’t “friendship on fleek” all the time doesn’t mean that our community is any less real, and an insistence on being seen as though we are may only cause discontentment to arise. Not only will we feel strained by the expectations we’ve set for ourselves and our friends, we may also lose out on appreciating the friendships we do have!

3. Friendship Envy Is Real

The hashtag isn’t necessarily wrong, but how we deal with the feelings it produces can lead to trouble. As the hashtag suggests, #squadgoals is something to aspire toward, a “goal” to be achieved, and if we think we have not reached that, it can cause us to feel bitter or jealous toward the individuals who seem to have done so already.

According to Proverbs 14:30, “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” What the psalmist means by a “heart at peace” is uprightness and contentment. In this particular instance, it could mean being upright in our thought and being content with what we have. We receive life in our body —physically, emotionally, and spiritually — when we acquire this peaceful heart. On the other hand, envy can rot our bones. Envy destroys us from the inside when we let it control our minds, thoughts, and emotions. It sucks out life and joy from us, and blocks our eyes from seeing the goodness of God working through our friendships.

How many times have we felt even the slightest pinch of something within us when we see a nice photo of a group of friends hanging out, with or without #squadgoals? That tiny bit of discomfort could very well be discontentment and jealousy taking root inside you, rotting your bones, and killing your joy.

A COMMUNITY ISN'T ALWAYS GOING TO LOOK INSTA-READY

Beyond The Hashtag

If any of these lessons I’ve shared has hit home for you, just remember that you’re not alone. Our friendships are more than the hashtags associated with them. Friendship is more valuable than how pretty a picture turns out or the number of likes it receives.

Like all other trends of popular culture today, the #squadgoals hype is now slowly dying down as quickly as it began. However, it’s left us with a “perfect” image of friendship that will perhaps stay longer than the hashtag itself. While the image of the perfect #squad still lingers, we ought to remember that true friendships can’t be captured in perfect square shots, and even what looks like an image of perfect friendship may not really be one! The gift of friendship is more precious than a one-off image or impression!

Spotlight: Audrey Tan Fighting To Create A World Without Poverty

Quek Shiwei — Sat, 29 Jul 2017 16:00:00 +0000

In 2008, Audrey co-founded PlayMoolah — a social enterprise that equips children, parents, and young adults with money management skills. Shortly thereafter, she co-founded her second social enterprise, Angels of Impact, that provides support to female entrepreneurs in order to alleviate poverty.

While her companies are secular ones, Audrey’s aim is simple: serving the poor and loving them through Jesus. Because of that, she unceasingly offers her daily tasks up to the Lord in prayer, even having a daily Tea time with Jesus set aside as part of her routine! Her passion was truly contagious as I sat down with her for an hour’s conversation and walked away inspired and refreshed.

Hi Audrey! What do you think you are known for?

Hi! Well, my middle name is Joy, and that’s what a lot of my peers describe me as — someone who is very joyful and positive. And adventurous too! Often times they will ask me, “When is the next time you are going away? Are you going to be in Singapore for the long run?”

If you could meet anyone in the world, who would it be?

It would be Jesus Christ. He is the one Saviour and my best friend. If I could actually meet Him, that would be awesomely cool! But having said that, we are able to meet Him daily in prayer and devotion too!

What made you start PlayMoolah?

What is it about? During the global financial crisis in 2008, my co-founder Min Xuan and I started reflecting on what was happening in the world. We realised that a lot of families were not equipped with money skills! Instead of enabling kids to play games like Club Penguin (an online computer game) that largely revolves around consumerism, we decided to come up with alternatives to get kids to learn about money in a fun way.

We often say that money is closely linked to one’s identity: how you look, what you wear, what you buy. Over time, our identities are based on wanting material things. But the truth is that our identities are first and foremost children of God! PlayMoolah emphasises that money is just a tool and it can be used for the greater purpose that one is called to.

OUR AIM IS TO CREATE A WORLD WITHOUT POVERTY

What is the link between PlayMoolah and Angels of Impact then?

As part of my work with PlayMoolah, I was asked to teach some slum kids in Indonesia. Coming from a city of abundance, what we saw was really heartbreaking. Just 100m from where the children were living was burning trash, and many have no choice but to go out to the streets and beg. It is completely undignified to live that way, and that encounter really left a very deep seed in me. God showed me His love for the poor. It was almost like a calling to do more and impact the poor.

I started Angels of Impact with my co-founder, Laina. Our families come from humble beginnings and our parents worked hard to provide us with access to food and education. We both have a deep passion for poverty alleviation and wanted to go beyond ourselves to serve the poor.

So what does Angels of Impact do?

Our aim is to create a world without poverty and unity with women. Our mission is to fund women entrepreneurs as they often receive smaller amounts of funding. Secondly, Angels of Impact also supports women entrepreneurs by linking them up with customers who want to obtain their products in a more responsible way.

What are your highest and lowest points in your journey thus far?

You know, the thing about entrepreneurship is that it looks glamorous but it is not. One of my lowest points was when I decided to take a back seat from PlayMoolah and have a leadership renewal. It felt like I was giving up my baby! But on hindsight, I learnt to let the organisation grow beyond me. One of the highest points would be getting Angels of Impact running. Despite our challenges, it has been one of my greatest satisfactions. It is surreal that we are working with eight women entrepreneurs by helping them with fundraising. We even had a book launch that just happened not long ago! I feel like my dream is coming alive and God is affirming this calling!

What were some sacrifices you made along the way?

I find that for entrepreneurs, one of the biggest challenges is knowing when to stop and have sufficient rest, recreation, and to live in moderation. One of the sacrifices that we make is that we devote so much time to our life’s mission and end up neglecting other things. One reminder is that I am but a mere steward. God does not need me to do anything; He can get things done by Himself, but He gifted me with Angels of Impact so that I can get to know Him more!

What’s on your heart for this generation of girls?

As girls, we can step up and stand up for other girls. We are in an environment where criticism comes by easily more than encouragement, so let’s build each other up for the greater kingdom of God.

Also, for a discerning heart for the Lord’s will. I am reminded of the song Hosanna by Hillsong United: “I see a generation, rising up to take their place with selfless praise/I see a near revival stirring as we pray and seek, we’re on our knees.” This is key as in 1 John 5:14-15, it says that “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us — whatever we ask — we know that we have what we asked of him.” With many more young people discerning God’s will in their career and education choices, we can truly be a generation who seeks after the heart of Jesus. To love and serve His people — especially the poor.

Review: “13 Reasons Why”; Should I Watch It?

Kallos Team — Sat, 29 Jul 2017 16:00:00 +0000

What is it about?

A Netflix series based on a book by Jay Asher, 13 Reasons Why (13RY) is a fictional story that is meant to be a cautionary tale. It tells the story of a 17-year-old high school student named Hannah Baker, who experiences a series of hurtful events caused mostly by her friends. Hannah chooses to kill herself, but before doing so, she makes a series of audio recordings explaining what each of these persons have done to hurt her. They are the 13 reasons (or people) why she decided to commit suicide. Each episode unravels the mystery of her tragic death through each one of the tapes.

The Positive Elements

I was pretty excited to watch 13RY after hearing all about it. After watching all 13 episodes, I found that this series really excites and engages. As the show toggled between the past and present scenarios, it kept me in suspense about the reasons for Hannah’s suicide. 13RY gives a good glimpse into what a typical teenager struggles with — issues like cyber-bullying, the deep need for friendship, loneliness, the desperate desire to fit in at school, gossiping, ostracising, name calling, labelling, the negative influence of social media, and the need to be affirmed. It also opens one up to see the many complex factors that influence suicide, which may help viewers not to trivialise the causes of suicide. Lastly, another positive element of this show is that it encourages viewers to be careful of what we do to others and how we can negatively affect or hurt others without knowing it.

The Negative Elements

With all the above mentioned good things about this series, 13RY does also bring a fair share of disturbing negative elements. First of all, a sense of hopelessness is evident throughout the series. Each episode shows how Hannah was terribly hurt, and as you feel her pain and inner struggle, it brings you to a dark place and simply leaves you there. 13RY lacks positive messaging, portraying suicide as the only way out of her pain. In addition, the explicit scenes of rape and suicide can be potentially damaging to viewers. Her method of suicide and graphic death were shown in full detail. These graphically depicted scenes are concerning and disturbing as they may encourage copycat behaviour. In fact, at least one copycat case in Peru has already been reported in the news. After each episode, one can’t help but feel indignant on behalf of Hannah, who took her own life, and be drawn into wanting to see justice served toward all those who harmed or hurt her. Suicide seems to be depicted as a weapon of revenge and thus becomes romanticised. This is dangerous as it could tempt viewers to do or think likewise.

The Verdict

13RY is indeed an eye-opener for anyone who wants to know more about the varied and complex factors influencing someone to attempt suicide. Though the series is set in America, it is not too far culturally from our Singapore school scene.

That said, research does show that exposure to other people’s suicide may tempt or trigger those who are suicidal to do likewise. In fact, this is such a concern that students of Oxford High School in the US even started a programme called ‘13 Reasons Why Not’, where they gathered 13 students to share about their feelings of depression and considerations of suicide, ending the sharing by revealing a name — not of someone who pushed them to suicide, but a person who talked them out of it.

If you have chosen to watch 13RY and feel distraught or depressed, do speak to a mature adult who can help. 13RY shows Hannah desperately trying to find a lifeline — something or someone to hang on to every time she is hurt or in pain — but ends up with nothing and no one. My dear sisters-in-Christ, please don’t deal with your pain alone. This hopelessness is toxic and there is ALWAYS HOPE in our Lord Jesus Christ alone.

Dear Kallos: I’m Being Cyber-Bullied!

Alina Teo — Sat, 29 Jul 2017 16:00:00 +0000

My classmates don’t like me and they say mean things about me in our class Whatsapp chat group. I keep leaving the chat group, but they keep adding me back in, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t stand it anymore, but I don’t dare to tell anyone else about this. Please help. – Lost

dear Lost,

What an awful situation you have been put through! This is cyber-bullying and you should not be made to endure this. We’re glad you tried to take the active step to leave the chat group and have found the courage to share about it now. When I was younger, I remember going through a similar incident. I was very hurt as I did not understand why my supposed friends were treating me this way. I felt alone and wrongly accused. If you feel the same now, know that you do not deserve to be treated this way. You are deeply loved and cherished by God Almighty.

Firstly, you could try talking it out with those who are the main instigators and see if you can find a point of reconciliation — have there been misunderstandings or false perceptions? However, if you feel that this might cause you more hurt or bullying, don’t do it. Instead, we encourage you to find someone older you can confide in, such as a parent, teacher, or leader. I know this will be hard — trust me, I’ve been there! But please don’t suffer alone. These people can help provide advice and support that is much needed in this time.

Finally, another solution is to mute the chat when you are added in and turn off notifications from the group. By not reading these messages, you are protecting yourself and not letting their negative comments affect you. On a side note, I would encourage you to pray for your bullies. In Luke 6:27–28, Jesus says this: “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” I know this will be difficult, but praying for them and blessing them will help you to let go of the hurt and anger that you feel. And when you do so, God is pleased as you choose to love your enemies.

Dear sister, you are precious and your worth does not come from what your classmates say about you. Your worth rests in God who says you are His beloved!

Choosing Contentment

Jiamin Choo — Sat, 29 Jul 2017 16:00:00 +0000

“Wow … she looks so good!”

“That’s such a nice meal they’re having …”

“I wish I could travel to all these picture-perfect places.”

These thoughts spring up every now and then as I scroll through social media posts to catch up on what’s been going on in my friends’ lives. However, the longer I spend viewing these posts, the less happy I become.

“Why can’t I be like my friend whose life seems to be going so well?”

At first, it seemed like a passing thought. But as it returned again and again, discontentment crept in and stole joy away from me. Then the silent accusation of “you’re not good enough” sowed seeds of doubt and jealousy, sprouting bitterness in my heart. I had unknowingly slipped into the trap of comparing myself with others. I saw what they had, and what I didn’t have. I envied where they were in life, and what I was lacking or missing out on.

God’s Word speaks much about jealousy. One real-life account took place in 1 Samuel 18–19. When youthful David defeated the enemy’s champion, Goliath, with a shot of his sling, he not only won the war against the Philistines, but he also won the favour of his people. The women celebrated by taking to the streets with tambourines to greet King Saul returning from the battlefield. They sang about King Saul defeating thousands, but David defeating tens of thousands! This wounded Saul’s pride deeply. How could the people compare their king to a shepherd boy? And if they proclaimed David as better than Saul, did that mean Saul would lose his kingdom to David? From then on Saul kept a jealous eye on David (1 Sam 18:9).

Saul’s obsession with comparing himself to David fuelled his resentment into attempted murder. Twice, Saul tried to pin David to a wall with a spear. Even after David married Saul’s daughter, Michal, Saul plotted to kill his own son-in-law to rid himself of the threat that the successful and well-loved David posed. Instead of controlling his thoughts and emotions, Saul acted on his jealous anger and did evil. To the end of Saul’s life, he lived with jealous eyes that were so focused on following David’s life that in the process, Saul lost focus on following God in his own life.

How should we, as girls after God’s heart, act when certain social media posts lure us into the trap of bitter comparison, or when we obsessively desire to be as talented or successful as someone else, or long for the material things or special relationship that another has? This is when we need to turn our eyes back to God. It is not easy and it can be a tearful struggle. But when we lay down our deepest longings mirrored by these posts — the kind of life we aspire to have, or the kind of person we dream of becoming — and confess our hearts of jealousy before God, He can set us free from a spirit of bitter envy and restore in us a heart of joy. Then we choose to do what’s right in God’s eyes — to love our neighbours as ourselves, celebrate our friends’ joys and wins, and be content with the life God has blessed us with right here, right now.

PRAYER
God, forgive me for the times I longed for what others have, and harboured jealousy in my heart. Help me see and embrace the beauty and fullness of this life You’ve given me. Amen.

REFLECTION TIME
1. What kind of social media posts tend to lead you to a place of comparison and jealousy? Why do you think that’s such an important area to you?
2. Contentment is a gift. How has God blessed you this past week? Give thanks to Him.

DELVE DEEPER
Read and reflect on these passages on the topic of jealousy, contentment, or both:
o Ecclesiastes 3:9–14
o 1 Timothy 6:6–19
o James 3:13–4:10

HANDLES
The purpose of Bible narrative passages is not to prescribe something for us to do, but to describe what took place in the past. Consider the author’s viewpoint, identify key characters, examine the plot, and ask, “What is God teaching me through this story as a whole?”

Twenty-One Days Of Thankfulness

Quek Shiwei — Sat, 29 Jul 2017 16:00:00 +0000

CHALLENGE RULES

Short list 21 people you are grateful for and a brief reason why.
For 21 days, write a letter to each one of them. You can include:
An incident you are grateful to the person for
What you can learn from the person
How he/she has blessed you and others
Try to give them the letter on the day itself, or at least within a few days if it is not convenient.
Letters should be handwritten and given personally or mailed!

Challenger: RUTH LOO, 16

3 Fun Facts:
1. I love calligraphy and watercolouring.
2. To me, the best things in life are green tea, cheesecakes and a good book.
3. Oh, and I play the drums too!

Initial Thoughts

I almost had a panic attack when the challenge required me to write letters to 21 people! I was worried about what people would think about me if I were to give them a letter out of the blue. However, I wanted to challenge myself and felt that it would be a good way to convey my appreciation to the people that I am thankful for. For my 21 people, I’ve listed my family members, various friends, and even my Literature teacher!

THE CHALLENGE

Days 1-5
Honestly, the writing part wasn’t a big issue for me — the giving was. I started off quite awkwardly and tried to make up occasions to give them the cards. I made cards for those I felt closer to first (such as my parents and good friends). That made things less awkward. Also, I was happy to see the smiles on their faces at my gesture!

Days 6-10
It has gotten less awkward but it is still difficult for me. It was tough to write letters to my grandparents. Like most Chinese families, we express love in terms of food and gifts but hardly through words. I was in a dilemma and only wrote “thank you” in Chinese and tied it to a bouquet of flowers. Although they didn’t comment on the card, I could tell from their faces that they were happy to receive it. Other than this, it has become more natural to give cards to people I am thankful for.

Days 11-15
I was pretty busy around this time of the challenge as I was having my exams so I felt that I should study first and use my remaining time for the challenge. Even though I procrastinated writing the letters, thankfully, I managed to catch up in the end. This challenge is helping me learn more about myself and the people around me. I realised that God has put so many wonderful people in my life and I am so grateful! It’s not really a pain anymore to give and write the letters — I have come to enjoy it!

Days 16-21
I learnt that we can express gratitude in many ways and it is not limited to writing cards. I was able to reflect on the people in my life and the reasons why I am thankful to have them. Being grateful made me a lot happier! I realised how blessed and fortunate I am. I feel that we should all embark on this challenge someday because we tend to take for granted the things and people God has blessed us with.

Final Thoughts

The hardest letter to write was the one I had to write to my grandparents as I had difficulty expressing my gratitude in a form of a letter (in Chinese somemore!). The easiest letters were the ones I wrote to my parents and good friends Natasha and Yvette. It was easy to write to them because I am much closer to them and it was definitely more comfortable sharing my feelings with them through written words. After writing each card, I always found myself saying “I’m so blessed.” Recognising and saying that I am blessed was a reminder to me about how good God is to give us such wonderful and lovely people as friends and family.

In the past, on the rare occasions where I was thankful for something or someone, I would usually just think to myself “I’m so lucky today.” However, through this challenge, this mindset has changed! I have come to realise that God is the one who places these special people in our lives to guide and teach us. It is not merely by chance that they are in our lives. Indeed, I have learnt to give thanks to God for every big or small blessing in my life.

Dig Deeper: What Is Freedom?

Hannah Leung — Sat, 29 Jul 2017 16:00:00 +0000

Have you ever tried to play a team sport without first learning the rules? The fun of the game is lost because of the chaos that ensues. Fun and joy is only restored when everyone learns the rules of the game and abides by them. Similarly, joy in this life is experienced most when we abide by the boundaries that God has set for us. So, what is the difference between freedom as God promises and the freedom the world preaches?

What true freedom is not

Freedom of speech, freedom of gender, freedom of everything! Contemporary social movements attract many followers by professing to stand for ‘freedom’. However, today’s cultural ‘freedom’ is better understood as autonomy — the freedom to do whatever you want. But don’t get confused; the freedom to do something does not mean we are free from the consequences of that choice. Every decision we make binds us to a certain consequence. Unfortunately, this autonomy that the world desires does not give true freedom, but merely traps us in a pit of bad choices and consequences.

What true freedom is

Imagine a sheep and a shepherd. The shepherd, knowing that the sheep tends to wander, builds a fence around the sheep, only letting it out to graze. Sure, the sheep is no longer free to go wherever it wants, whenever it wants, but it sure is free from the consequences of poor choices, such as facing a wolf alone or running off a cliff.

We are like the sheep and God is like the loving shepherd. Without the fence, we naturally and easily wander into the traps and dangers of sin. While the rules He gives us to live by in the Bible may seem to restrict a person’s ‘freedom’, they in fact free us from the consequences of sinful behaviour. If we don’t live within the boundaries of those rules, then we have to accept the consequences of exercising our ‘freedom’ — and often end up hurting ourselves (and others!) through our sinfulness.

Living freely

Jesus never said that we could do whatever we wanted if we chose to follow Him. Instead, He commanded us to deny ourselves and obey His commands (Matt 16:24; 28:20). Paradoxically, true freedom is only experienced when we bind ourselves to Christ in obedience. If we humble ourselves and live by His words, we immediately position ourselves to live a life of true freedom, just as the Bible promises (John 8:31–32).

But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life (Rom 6:22).

When No One Is Following

Hannah Leung — Sat, 29 Jul 2017 16:00:00 +0000

If you’re a frequent user of Instagram, it should not be hard to imagine this: you open your app and the top two posts on your feed are from different accounts, but both belong to the same person. In the first post, the picture is carefully edited with a caption tagged with thanksgiving to God. In the second post, the picture seems to be a poorly shot photo of something random and the accompanying caption is laced with anger and frustration. Two very different posts by two different accounts, yet posted by the same person. Yep, we’re talking about Instagram spam accounts in this issue.

For those unfamiliar with spam accounts — here is a quick explanation of what it is. Existing Instagram users have been creating a second account that is commonly characterised as such: the account has a very small number of followers that usually comprise the user’s close friends, the user posts rather frequently, and captions are usually more open and candid. Basically, if you perceive Instagram accounts to be a collection of curated photos or moments with well-written captions, spam accounts are the complete opposite.

WHAT'S HAPPENING ON MY SPAM ACCOUNT?

Creating a space to be completely open with our friends may seem unique to the Instagram age, but it isn’t anything new! During my secondary school days, this was done in the form of private blogs; you could only read someone’s private blog if you had the password to it. Going back even further to primary school, notebooks with number locks were in nearly every girl’s school bag; if you wanted to read someone’s diary, you had to know the number combination. Seeking a safe space to share your private thoughts is something common to all — Instagram is just the current platform to do so.

So, what about spam accounts? I have observed that many tend to hold nothing back when posting on spam accounts. We post whatever we want, whenever we want, without the pressure of posting a certain type of image or portraying ourselves in a certain way. After all, that is what a private spam account is for, right?

Hear me out — it’s good to find a safe space to be honest about your feelings. However, in seeking to create such a space, we build walls and keep people out. Sometimes, we even keep safe people out — people who love us and want to journey with us through our struggles. For those who currently own a secondary social media account as a private and honest space, have you built the walls of privacy way too high?

Outside the walls of privacy, on the main account, we present ourselves carefully. We make sure our photos are nice and the captions are pleasing to read. However, once we are within the walls of privacy, we let loose. Some use the space to vent their anger, some spew out their frustrations, and some express their sadness. If we take a step back and look at both accounts side by side, they might look like they belong to two completely different people! The danger of posting liberally in a separate account is this: we don’t think about nor exercise self-control. We seem to forget that we are still accountable for what we say on that ‘exclusive’ space. Has your spam account turned from a safe space to a toxic one? Let me break it down for you.

HAS YOUR SPAM ACCOUNT TURNED INTO A TOXIC SPACE?

SAFE SPACES VS. TOXIC SPACES

To me, safe spaces are not just characterized by vulnerability and openness, they are also characterised by guidance and growth. I don’t just want to vent my frustration, I want someone to help me overcome my struggle. Toxic spaces are quite the opposite. While they can also be characterised by vulnerability and openness, the spaces don’t help you get out of the struggle. On the contrary, toxic spaces can cause your negative emotions to intensify or, even worse, make you feel like your emotions are completely justified.

Creating a spam account might have been an effort to create a safe space for yourself. However, this ‘safe’ space can quickly turn toxic. Spam accounts are expected to be filled with brutal honesty about how we feel, but for most of us, we don’t want people to guide and correct us in response to our rawest emotions — we don’t want brutal honesty about whether our actions are pleasing to God. But what if a friend approaches you and says, “I think you shouldn’t have posted that” — how would you respond?

WHETHER IN SECRET, IN PRIVATE, OR IN PUBLIC, WE ARE ACCOUNTABLE FOR OUR ACTIONS

DOES GOD SEE MY SPAM ACCOUNT?

“Can a man hide himself in secret places so that I cannot see him? declares the Lord. Do I not fill heaven and earth? declares the Lord” (Jer 23:24 ESV).

In seeking to create a safe space to express ourselves or to vent, we might have forgotten that, whether in secret, in private, or in public, we are accountable for our actions. God sees our actions, and He also sees our hearts. Ultimately, the way that we live should honour God. That means that every aspect of our lives should be consistent — whether online or offline; whether private or public.

The loving news is this: when we are messy, broken, lost, or angry, God sees and He reaches out to us. He beckons us into His love and kindness — a place where true joy and peace can be found.

While we seek to create a safe space to feel better by ranting and venting our frustrations, it is only a temporary solution to a permanent problem. Will you let God in behind the walls and let Him call you out into a place of true freedom? When you’re ready, let someone you trust like a leader or a pastor walk with you through your struggles. When you need a listening ear, let your first instinct be to run to God in prayer before running to your phone. He is the safest place.

A Date With A Japanese School Girl

Isabel Phua — Sat, 29 Jul 2017 16:00:00 +0000

STATISTICS

MORE THAN 170 JK BUSINESSES, CONCENTRATED IN THE AKIHABARA DISTRICT

5000 GIRLS AGED 18 AND YOUNGER IN THE INDUSTRY

30-50 YEARS OLD: AVERAGE AGE OF JK CUSTOMERS

US $13/HR: GIRLS ARE PAID 2 TIMES MORE THAN OTHER PART-TIME JOBS

50% OF GIRLS WILL EVENTUALLY HAVE SEX WITH THEIR CUSTOMERS

WHAT IS JK?

Japan’s booming and profitable Joshi Kousei (JK) entertainment industry is one that sells access to high school girls in a variety of bizarre services; from heart-to-heart talks and going out on fun dates, to sexual services like prostitution. The JK culture started off as an innocent social activity in the 90s, where paying girls to keep you company was a source of “comfort”. Literally meaning ‘high school girl’, Joshi Kousei has now evolved into a much darker industry where underage prostitution and human trafficking is not uncommon. Yumi, a 17-year-old schoolgirl who worked at a JK massage centre, got a huge shock when she found herself being cut and dunked in a bathtub by her client till she blacked out. She is just one of the many unsuspecting innocent victims who are attracted to the lucrative pay for work that seems easy and interesting.

WHO IS INVOLVED?

These high school girls are not just motivated by earning some pocket money or sheer curiosity; many come from troubled homes and families and are desperate for attention. However, more girls from stable families are also starting to join the JK industry. One of the reasons for the industry’s popularity is the cute or “kawaii” way that the jobs are advertised online. Young girls see JK as their dream job — imagine being paid to eat good food, go to theme parks, or talk about your favourite show!

Middle-aged Japanese men who engage in these services are said to be fascinated with meeting and interacting with teenage school girls. Some customers share that chatting with them is an outlet for them to reduce the stress at work or to rekindle their youth as high school boys. In many cases however, customers seek sexual services that can turn violent, putting the girls in serious danger.

WHY IS THIS ALLOWED?

These businesses exploit the loopholes in Japan’s regulations on underage sex, which states that although the minimum legal age of prostitution in Japan is 18, girls above 13 are allowed to consent to sex. JK businesses violate the Child Welfare Act, which prohibits getting someone under 18 years to practice obscene acts, but businesses are creative, constantly bending the rules to avoid being accused of prostitution — services range from allowing men to pay to look up the skirts of school girls as they fold origami, to girls dancing provocatively behind a one-way mirror while men watch.

Japan has signed the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, which states that the country should uphold its promises against child trafficking. The country is taking steps towards curbing the industry and it is reported that the Japan’s National Police Agency plans to carry out a nationwide investigation into JK businesses in 2017, banning the hiring of girls under 18.

PRAY FOR:
– The Japanese government to uphold the agreements they have made to the Child Welfare Act and Universal Declaration of Human Rights.
– The successful implementation of a nationwide police investigation of JK businesses.
– Japanese high school girls as they go on social media, that they will not be deceived by job offers that are seemingly harmless.
– The churches in Japan to bring the powerful love of Jesus Christ to all those involved in the JK industry.
– The Japanese government to uphold the agreements they have made to the Child Welfare Act and Universal Declaration of Human Rights.
– The successful implementation of a nationwide police investigation of JK businesses.
– Japanese high school girls as they go on social media, that they will not be deceived by job offers that are seemingly harmless.
– The churches in Japan to bring the powerful love of Jesus Christ to all those involved in the JK industry.