Issue 24 – Kallos

5 Things No One Told You About Sex!

Quek Shiwei — Fri, 01 Nov 2019 07:29:00 +0000

IT’S NOT JUST A ‘GUY THING’

Hands up if you thought that sexual purity was just a thing guys struggle with. As a youth leader, girls have told me that they struggle with pornography, masturbation, or fantasy. They are sweet, talented and, by any standard, good Christian girls. Some are leaders in church too. You see, sexual purity is not just a ‘guy thing’ — it is a human thing. And if you are a human, well, then you will struggle with sexual purity in one way or another, because we are created as sexual beings with real desires, but those desires have been polluted by sin. So here’s the good news: if you are struggling with sexual purity, you are not a ‘weird girl with guy problems’. You are a normal girl with struggles, desiring to please God!

Small things can be powerful despite their size. Can you think of something else that is small but powerful? It lives right in the centre of your mouth — the tongue!

YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE STRUGGLING

A lovely girl who had just started dating looked me in the eye and said, “I thought I was the only one!” She genuinely struggled with purity as she started feeling the electrifying feelings of even a simple touch from someone she liked. I laughed, as she was not the first to tell me she thought she was the only one struggling with sexual purity.

On one occasion, the speaker at our church camp encouraged our youth group to confess our sins to one another (James 5:16). As each girl shared, each one realised … I am not the only one! Our struggles may differ, but guess what? You are not the only one, and you do not have to hide in shame. Sin grows in darkness. Pluck up your courage, take a deep breath and confess your struggles to trusted friends and leaders. You may be pleasantly surprised that, instead of condemnation, you hear a voice saying, “You are not the only one — I struggle too.” It can take months or years before overcoming a sexual sin, but the journey will be a lot less lonely with someone by your side.

IT’S NOT JUST ABSTAINING FROM SEX

Perhaps you’ve heard that purity means “no sex before marriage”. But here’s the deal. Sexual purity is not just abstaining from sex. It’s totally possible to be a virgin before marriage and still be sexually impure. There’s a lot that can happen between holding hands and having sex. What about sleeping together on the same bed at a chalet? Sexting? Petting? French kissing? Undressing before each other? Travelling overseas alone together?

Here are some questions to consider: Who am I becoming? Does this action cause me or the other to lust after each other? Will doing this keep me “above reproach” (1 Tim 3:2, Titus 1:6–7)? Am I doing this for my own pleasure or out of self-giving love? Does it honour God, the guy, his parents, future wife and kids? Sexual purity is not technical virginity, but what goes on in your heart, mind, and soul. Ultimately, it’s not about rules, but living holy lives that honour the King and his people (1 Thess 4:3–5).

SEXUAL PURITY IS NOT TECHNICAL VIRGINITY, BUT WHAT GOES ON IN YOUR HEART, MIND, AND SOUL

IT’S NOT ‘OVER’ IF YOU GET MARRIED

Some people think of sexual purity as a 100-metre race to resist all temptation, and once you cross the finish line (getting married), hooray! You are safe. However, choosing sexual purity is more like a marathon — one you run for life. You have to choose purity both before and after getting married, though it may look differently in each case.

A young woman returning from her honeymoon told my friend, “Guess what? I’m still pure!” (i.e. she didn’t have sex), For some reason, she had bought into the lie that having sex, even with her husband, made her dirty! Nothing could be further from the truth. Sex was created to be an exclusive, beautiful, and intimate act of love between husband and wife. Yes, it can be awkward and uncomfortable at the start, yet still innocent and loving. If you do get married, the marathon is still on and you still need to choose purity in the face of other temptations.

Fantasise about that hot Korean star? Nope. Start flirting with another man? Uh-uh. Watch porn? A definite no. Sexual purity is for life, and the pursuit of purity is not over when you get married! Sex ≠ dirty.

SOMEWHERE ALONG THE LINE, WE'VE STARTED TO DEFINE SEXUAL PURITY AS VIRGINITY

IT’S NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ABOUT YOU

You read that correctly. Somewhere along the line, we started to define sexual purity as virginity. And this led to defining our worth by our virginity. The thing is, God values your virginity as he designed sex to be enjoyed only in a marriage. But that’s not the most important thing He values about you. It’s easy to think that if you’ve lost your virginity, you are then dirty and worthless. But the most important thing about you is that you have been bought by the blood of Christ, redeemed, and thus pure before God (1 Pet. 1:19). So if you’ve messed up and genuinely repent, then God looks at you through Christ. He sees His blameless Son, who has given you a new identity. So if you feel lousy because you have somehow compromised on sexual purity, don’t give up on yourself. Remember that your sexual past does not define you.

As Christians, we are called to shine like stars in a crooked and depraved generation, as blameless and pure children of God (Phil 2:15). It’s not easy. But the good news is, you are not alone. Young women across time and around the world have struggled and found victory. As sisters in Christ, let us cheer each other on as we run this marathon together!

TOP 5 TIPS:

1. Don’t journey alone! Seek out accountability partners, trusted friends or leaders you can share with.
2. Unsubscribe or unfollow any Instagram accounts or Youtube channels that cause you to fantasise.
3. Pay attention to the music you listen to. Think about what they are saying and what they mean.
4. Watch anime? Some of them and their related fan fiction contain strong romance and sexual themes. Be discerning about the content and if it stumbles you, watch something else.
5. Don’t be afraid to seek counselling if you need to. Sexual sins often stem from our hurts and require help from pastors or counsellors. It takes a brave girl to ask for help!

Check out these Bible verses:
– 1 Cor. 6:18-20
– 1 Cor 6:11
– Phi 1:9-11
– Phil. 2:14-15
– Col 3:5-10
– 1 Thess. 4:3-7
– 1 Pet. 1: 17-19
– 1 John 1:9
– James 5:16
– Rev. 19:7-8, 21:2

Wait For Me

Jiamin Choo — Wed, 29 Nov 2017 16:00:00 +0000

The sky was still dark that July morning. I had woken up early, excited to catch the sunrise on my 21st birthday. There by the beach, I thanked God for His gift of life to me, and made two promises to Him — one, to follow Him all the days of my life; the other, to wait on Him for my future life partner.

I took out the ring that I had bought — a simple band engraved with ‘WAITING 4 U’ — and slipped it onto my left middle finger. The ring represented my promise made in God’s presence to pursue purity — to save myself for my future husband. I wore the ring daily, as a commitment to trust God with matters of the heart, and also as a reminder to pray for my future husband — for him to be a man after God’s heart, hoping he will wait for me too.

Over the years, as friends began to find their other halves, I wondered when it would be my turn. How I wished there was a special someone to have and to hold, but no such person came along. I fought against temptations to start relationships with guys who showed interest in me but didn’t hunger after God. Then, when a potential someone appeared, my heart ached when I realised, “No, Jiamin. He’s not yours.” To numb the pain of loneliness, my eyes wandered off to viewing things I shouldn’t have seen. The images filled my mind with fantasies that stirred an intense desire for physical intimacy, but left me feeling empty and ashamed. I felt guilty for not keeping my heart and mind pure before God who is holy. But each time, with a spirit of repentance, I found forgiveness at His throne of grace. And the wait on God for my future husband continued. The pursuit of purity went on.

One Bible verse that encouraged me was Song of Songs 8:4 — “Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” This is spoken by a woman who has found her Prince Charming, and is filled with passion for him. Yet she’s holding back, choosing to pursue purity and saving sexual intimacy for marriage. She encourages the other women, “the daughters of Jerusalem”, to guard their hearts, to wait for physical intimacy, to express love only when the time is right. In Song of Songs, this call to “not arouse or awaken love until it so desires” appears three times (2:7; 3:5; 8:4) to grab the attention of the hearers. It’s an important message to take to heart.

It may be surprising to see such vivid descriptions of sexuality in the Bible, but the Song of Songs has been recorded partly to affirm the beauty and wonder of sexual delight that God created for marriage between a man and woman. The yearning for love and intimacy is all part of God’s beautiful design, not to be shunned as shameful or dirty desires. However, it’s about awakening love at the right time — to wait for the day when a man and a woman pledge themselves to each other in marriage, that the bride will give of herself physically, fully, freely, to the groom who also gives himself to her. This intimacy is a wonderful gift from God.

Until the time comes for love to be awakened, may we spur one another to pursue purity while waiting. Guarding our hearts, bodies and minds is not only guarding what is precious to us and our future spouses, but also our act of honouring God and bearing witness to a watching world.

PRAYER
God, even though it is not easy to wait, grant me the desire and strength to pursue purity, to flee from temptations, and to honour you with my entire being. Amen.

REFLECTION TIME
1. In the pursuit of purity, what are some things that you struggle with? How do you deal with them?
2. What choices can you and your friends make to guard your bodies, hearts, and minds in a way that honours God

DELVE DEEPER
Read and reflect on these passages on why purity matters:
o Ephesians 5:1-211
o Thessalonians 4:1-8
o 2 Timothy 2:22

HANDLES
Instead of reading your Bible alone, try reading it in community for a richer experience! Invite a friend to study a Bible passage with you, to share insights and questions that you may not have considered, and to tackle difficult issues together.

Street Children In Cambodia

Isabel Phua — Wed, 29 Nov 2017 16:00:00 +0000

STATISTICS

150 MILLION CHILDREN LIVE ON THE STREETS GLOBALLY (UNICEF, 2005)

10,000 – 20,000 ESTIMATED NUMBER OF STREET WORKING CHILDREN IN CAMBODIA (UNICEF, 2006)

33% OF CHILDREN ON THE STREETS OF PHNOM PENH ARE BETWEEN THE AGES OF SIX TO TEN (FRIENDS INTERNATIONAL, 2014)

1 IN 5 CAMBODIAN LIVES BELOW THE POVERTY LINE (UNICEF, 2013)

Read Srey’s Story

For Srey*, home was any place on the streets where she could lay her head for the night. As a street child, she has had to fend for herself from a young age. Her mother died when she was eight, leaving her with her sickly father.

“I became more mature,” she says simply. “I did not go to school. When I was small, I was a scavenger. I always had to think about food first.” To survive, Srey sifted through garbage to find recyclable materials to sell. The meagre earnings she scraped together allowed her to buy some food, but it was barely enough to get by.

Life on the streets is dangerous, and children are especially vulnerable. There is no shelter from the elements and there are never-ending waves of mosquitoes, making it difficult to sleep. When street children do sleep, there is the constant lingering fear of being abused or raped. Living conditions are squalid and people looking to exploit children prowl the streets.

When Srey was 12, she met a wealthy foreigner who offered her a treasure trove of empty cans to recycle and asked if she and her friends wanted to take a “fun” boat ride to a nearby island. There, he raped them.

Srey never told her ill father about the incident. He died a year later, leaving Srey an orphan on the streets at 13.

*name has been changed to protect her identity

What Forces Them into Such Situations?

In Cambodia, following the Khmer Rouge years of genocide, many children were orphaned, abandoned, or separated from their families and left with nowhere to go but the streets. Poverty and landlessness further contribute to the street children problem as it drives rural-urban migration. Children and families move in search of a better life, but in reality find themselves unable to afford basic commodities, education, and healthcare due to inflated prices in cities and are stuck on the streets.

What Can Be Done?

Meet basic needs and set children up for future success
Shelter, nutritious meals, healthcare and counselling are some of the main ways World Vision helps street children recover holistically. To ensure that they do not become dependent on external help, these children are enrolled in school or given informal education or vocational training.

Re-integrate children with their families
As far as possible, World Vision re-integrates children with their immediate or extended family. This allows children to lead as normal a life as possible. An assessment by trained social workers is conducted to ensure that families are able to care for the child, and support is provided to families to earn an income, to prevent children from returning to street life.

Empower the local community to lead change
World Vision equips local stakeholders with skills and builds strong networks among the police force, faith leaders, related government institutions and local charities, so that they can effectively address the street children problem in their spheres of influence. This is done through training, organizing dialogue sessions and setting up proper mechanisms to report street children issues.

PRAY FOR:
– Children who are living on the streets to experience the love and care of God
– Former street children to be fully healed from emotional and psychological scars, and to be able to live life in all its fullness
– Greater awareness among the poor in Cambodia on how to improve their economic situation in safe ways
– Strong families in Cambodia who will value and protect their children

Find out more about World Vision and how you can contribute!

What Song Joong-Ki Taught Me About Romance

Roxane Ng — Wed, 29 Nov 2017 16:00:00 +0000

I’m not a fan of romantic dramas, but when a clip from Descendants of the Sun (DOTS) appeared on my Facebook feed last year, I was immediately hooked. There is something about the intensity of the unabashed pursuit of Dr. Kang Mo-Yeon (played by Song Hye-Kyo) by Captain Yoo Si-Jin (played by Song Joong-Ki) that attracted me to the actor who portrayed him. After the drama ended, I searched online like an ahjumma (Korean for a middle-aged lady) for signs of the main leads secretly dating.

So, I was delighted when it was revealed that these two stars were set to be married! Fangirling aside, observing their relationship has made me think deeper about romance. Here are some lessons I’ve learnt:

#1 EXCLUSIVE TIME TOGETHER SPARKS ROMANCE

I’ve found that when two people spend a lot of exclusive time together, there’s a high chance that one or both parties will become emotionally attached, whether they intended for it to happen or not. Before Song Joong-Ki, Song Hye-Kyo also dated two other co-stars. Nam Joo-Hyuk and Lee Sung-Kyung, the leads of the drama Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-Joo, and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, the leads of the movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith, also took their on- screen romances off-screen.

It may sound like common sense to be careful of who you’re spending a lot of time with, but it’s common sense that we don’t often heed. I remember getting closer to a guy whom I saw as my best friend because of our many similar interests. We had long late-night conversations, met up for supper regularly, laughed at the same jokes and listened to the same bands. I thought this was the perfect platonic friendship between a female and male until the day he confessed his feelings for me.

The Bible calls us to guard our heart, for everything we do flows from it (Prov 4:23). While spending time with someone we are getting to know better is not a bad thing in itself, I did not set boundaries and our one-on-one time allowed me to become emotionally attached to a person I had no intention of dating. This resulted in a lot of pain later on when we struggled with defining our relationship status and even more heartache when our ambiguous friendship eventually ended. If you are spending a lot of exclusive time with someone, you might want to do a heart check, pray, and seek God about where the friendship is heading, before diving into deeper emotional intimacy.

SONG JOONG -KI HIMSELF SAID OF CAPTAIN YOO, “DO YOU THINK MEN LIKE HIM REALLY EXIST? HE SEEMS LIKE A FANTASY.”

#2 THERE IS NO PERFECT GUY

Let’s face it: Song Joong-Ki as Captain Yoo looks like the perfect lover. While watching DOTS, I started wishing that my husband was more like Captain Yoo — that he could be slimmer, read my mind, or display his love in an extravagant way when I least expect it.

Then I read an interview where Song Joong- Ki himself said of Captain Yoo, “Do you think men like him really exist? He seems like a fantasy.” Interestingly, the DOTS scriptwriter (who is also behind other popular dramas like Secret Garden, The Heirs, and Goblin), Kim Eun-Sook, confessed that although she is aware that most of her scripts are unrealistic, they provide escapism for female viewers and she writes to let them enjoy the fantasy. Captain Yoo may capture my heart, but it’s become obvious that he is a “perfect guy” that doesn’t exist in real life — even Song Joong-Ki finds he can’t compare!

If you are in a relationship, you may be disappointed that your boyfriend isn’t more ‘K-drama perfect’. If you’re single, you might be on the lookout for your Captain Yoo and finding it impossible. These unmet expectations may leave you feeling disillusioned or disappointed but as Christians we know one thing — there is only one perfect man who exists. Jesus is the perfect “image of the invisible God” (Col 1:15). He is always patient and kind, knows our mind, and displayed his love by dying for us on the cross even though we don’t deserve it.

#3 THE WEDDING IS NOT THE GOAL

Now that a whirlwind romance has led to their wedding, it’s easy to think that the Song-Song couple has found their happily- ever-after. But after five years of marriage, I’ve realised that while the media often glamourises proposals and weddings, these milestones are just the start of a lifelong commitment.

In fact, most dramas only show the start of a relationship, which is when the level of intensity and excitement is high. The couple is finding out new things about each other, sharing first times, and dreaming about the future. As I watched these dramas, I grew discontented with my own marriage. But without showing the hard work behind every relationship, the dramas set us up for disappointment. The truth is that long-term relationships often settle into a comfortable and less exciting familiarity (nothing wrong with that though!). I wonder what viewers would think of DOTS if it focuses on Dr. Kang and Captain Yoo ten years into their relationship? (Think endless laundry, trying to manage kids, and keeping up with various financial matters!)

These false illusions of romance might have led to the increasingly casual attitude toward divorce and break-ups. In reality, love is not truly expressed when your lover interrupts your call by hitting your phone out of your hand, ties your shoelaces for you, or suddenly pulls you in for a kiss. Love is shown when he controls his anger or when you choose not to pressure him to be ‘K-drama perfect’. True love is a lifetime of choosing and loving each other again and again. First Corinthians 13 captures perfectly what real love looks like from God’s point of view — selfless and other-centred!

AS I WATCHED THESE DRAMAS , I GREW DISCONTENTED WITH MY OWN MARRIAGE

THE REAL #LIFEGOAL: EYES ON THE PRIZE

Is your idea of romance or marriage shaped by what you have been watching? Is your ideal man merely a figment of your (or some screenwriter’s) imagination? Did DOTS and the Song-Song wedding leave you craving for love?

Paul describes the church as a bride (2 Cor 11:2). Jesus is the Bridegroom who will come back for us, His Bride. Whether we are single or not, this is the epic marriage that we are all called to prepare for! He is the only prize that ultimately matters. At the end of the day, let’s not be obsessed with false illusions of romance, but seek to build relationships that are meant to point us to God, who has shown us what true love really is.

“But They Don’t Deserve It!” Honouring Your Parents When It’s Hard

Isabel Phua — Wed, 29 Nov 2017 16:00:00 +0000

I want to care, but I just... don’t want to care!

More often than I want to, I feel this way about my family. Funny, it sounds similar to something Paul said when he addressed the tension between our rebellious human nature and our faith: “What I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do” (Rom 7:15). This verse just about sums it up. I really want to love my parents! But sometimes … It. Is. Just. So. Hard!!! While I want to honour and respect my parents, there are days when it is the last thing I want to be bothered with. I ask myself: Is it really necessary? Is filial piety just an outdated Asian concept?

Ok. Let’s lay it down once and for all: What does the Bible say?

HONOUR THY PARENTS

The Bible is clear about it. In fact, honour in the family is so deeply valued by God that it is included in the Ten Commandments and is the only command with a promise attached to it (Exod 20:12). In the New Testament, Paul also reminds the early Christians to honour their parents (Eph 6:2–3).

There must be something so important about honouring our parents that the Bible places such emphasis on it. There are many types of families, each with unique dynamics. We all feel differently about our families. Yet, no matter what shape and size your family is and regardless of what you feel toward them, God’s kingdom’s culture will not change. Honouring our parents is a must if we are to walk in the ways of God.

Recently, my mother and I were in a ‘cold war’ of sorts. The tension soured the atmosphere at home, and it took us an entire night with lots of tears to make up and talk about what had happened. It was difficult for me. I was hurt by her words and she didn’t even want to talk things out with me at first! Every ounce of my being wanted to give up, walk away, and not care anymore. Yet, I knew I had to choose reconciliation. I had to choose to honour her.

CHOOSING TO COMMUNICATE

That cold war wasn’t the first we’ve had (and probably won’t be the last!). I’ve had many cold wars and arguments with my family. Through it all, one of the most important things I’ve learned to do is to stay open to communication. By communicating, I don’t mean trying to outshout or outsmart the other party in an argument. It is always tempting to win the argument, but there is no point to it if I lose something more precious in the process. Even if I win the argument and am proven to be right, all I walk away with is a puffed-up ego but all I am left with is a relationship in shambles.

EVERY OUNCE OF MY BEING WANTED TO GIVE UP, WALK AWAY, AND NOT CARE ANYMORE

What I mean by being open to communicating with your parents means putting down your pride, being open to sharing your emotions, thoughts, and perspectives with them, and allowing them to share theirs and respecting their views. In the most recent cold war with my mother, as I shared my perception of her words and then listened to what she really meant by them, I realised that we were coming from two different angles and it was merely miscommunication. It was from that open sharing that we got to understand how to better communicate with one another.

BUT THEY ARE IN THE WRONG

“But how do I honour my parents who are so unlike Christ?”

This is a real struggle. It’s normal to justify yourself by saying that they are not behaving rightly, so I get to shout back or rebel. Well, it shouldn’t surprise us when they don’t behave rightly; our parents are sinful too, and they, like all humankind, have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Rom 3:23)! We may not be able to predict, control, or be responsible for how our parents act, but we are responsible for our own actions because we can choose how to respond.

The Bible is very clear on how we, as Christ followers, should live our lives. Ephesians 4:31 tells us to put aside anger, bitterness, and ill feeling. Instead, we are instructed as God’s chosen people to adopt a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, forgiving each other just as the Lord has forgiven us (Col 3:12–13). The bottom line is this: even when others are unlike Christ, we should still continue to be Christ-like, and this applies to our relationship with our parents as well.

Galatians 5:22–23 on the fruit of the Spirit is a good reference on what it means to practically honour our parents with the Spirit of God within us. Do our words stem from love or spite? Do we seek to make peace and reconciliation or war? Are we patient or do we get easily irritated? Do our actions reflect gentleness and kindness? Does slamming the door or throwing things across the room show self-control? Ultimately, honouring our parents is really about loving God more and becoming more like Christ.

GOD IS OUR FATHER

I remember having breakfast with my dad one day when he started sharing his memories of his own parents, especially his mother, whom he was very close to. It was the first time I ever saw my dad tear up. He shared about how, at 14, he came home after school to find his beloved mother’s lifeless body in the living room. Thinking about the trauma and grief any secondary-school child would feel in that situation makes my heart break, let alone when that child is my father.

ULTIMATELY, HONOURING OUR PARENTS IS REALLY ABOUT LOVING GOD MORE AND BECOMING MORE LIKE CHRIST

I realised on that day that he too is vulnerable, just like me, with his own share of pain and hurt. It was on that day that I sensed God whispering to me that just as I am a child of God, my own father is also a child of God. Just as I need God’s grace and love, so does my father. So, continue to pray for your parents, especially if they do not know God, for their hearts to be opened to the revelation of God, for them to find peace in and healing from Him. Continue to pray for yourself, to walk in step with the Spirit rather than give in to your emotions and be rude or impatient with your parents.

Honouring our parents may not be our first instinct. We may have every reason to justify not doing it. But my prayer for you and me is that we will submit to the authority of the Word of God and have a heart of compassion just like Christ, to see them the way He sees them.

Spotlight: Eun Hee Reaching The Unreached

Kallos Team — Wed, 29 Nov 2017 16:00:00 +0000

Five years ago, if you had asked Eun-Hee what she thought she would be doing today, she would have said that she’d be a high-flyer living somewhere in Europe — and yet here she is now, preparing to be a missionary to the rural poor of Thailand!

Eun-Hee is not your typical Korean. That much was obvious as soon as we met her — she speaks Singlish just like a Singaporean! A middle child to missionary parents, Eun-Hee’s parents left Korea for Thailand when she was seven months old, and she eventually ended up in Singapore for about 11 years, completing her primary and secondary school education here. Following that, she attended high school in the US and went back to Korea for university. After completing her theological education at Singapore Bible College (SBC) (and meeting her husband there!), she is now in Bangkok as a missionary.

What’s up for her next? Read on to find out!

You’ve lived in many different countries. What was it like growing up with so many cultures?

I guess people like me identify ourselves as Third Culture Kids (TCKs) — people who grow up in a culture that is not our parents’ culture, but that of another country that is completely different. So when we’re asked, “Where are you from?” and “Who are you?”, it’s difficult to answer. It’s always being an ‘almost insider’ but still an outsider, so I would describe it as being able to look, fit in, speak, to almost be an insider, but to constantly feel that there is that wall of divide.

You recently tapped on your experience as a migrant to write a book called Who’s Behind That Wall? with the migrant-ministry NGO HealthServe. Tell us more!

While I was at SBC, we had a class on Ministry to Migrants. Our lecturer challenged us to come up with a list of creative ways to get more people interested in ministering to migrants. For me, one of the ways was to write a children’s book. So, I took up the challenge! Basically, the story is about a little mouse named Tommy, who wants to know what is “behind that wall” in his city that everyone shuns. In the story, Tommy discovers the truth of what is “behind that wall”. It’s written in the hope of encouraging people to be more aware of the presence of the migrant workers among them and to be more thankful for the things that they are doing for Singapore.

So did you intend for this book to target children only?

It’s for children, but I was also thinking of the adults who will be reading the book with the children. I hoped that it would help start a dialogue. There are many ways to advocate for issues, like by talking about them, and giving statistics and facts. But at some point in time, you just need a simple story that people can remember, which can present a message in a less threatening but more profound way because the story remains with you.

So many young people in Singapore are keen to reach out and serve in areas to do with social justice. What advice would you have for them?

I’m very encouraged by that and so thankful whenever I think about all the young people who want to serve God. The most important thing to know is that service always begins with our own walk with God. As we get closer to Him, we will know that social justice is not just “the right thing to do,” but a necessary thing for us as God’s people. Remember, it’s not us changing the world, but it’s us believing that God’s power is able to transform. We are just so privileged to be a part of having that glimpse of heaven on earth. Yeah!

And the second thing is don’t procrastinate. Try to educate yourself, be out there, learn as much as you can. If you want to be involved with missions, really actively seek out missionaries or even local churches of whatever foreign community that you are interested in. Talk to them, learn a language, and get started!

Did you ever imagine you would end up marrying a Thai-Chinese, become a pastor’s wife and live in Bangkok?

To be honest, no! Before I met God, I didn’t think I would even get married! It’s really God’s divine plan, because I met my husband, Nutchanon, at SBC while we were both pursuing our theological degrees and I was preparing to be a single missionary. So yeah, I’m just thankful seeing how throughout our dating time and after we got married, God has brought us together to mould one another for His specific purpose.

SOCIAL JUSTICE IS NOT JUST “THE RIGHT THING TO DO”, BUT A NECESSARY THING FOR US AS GOD ’S PEOPLE

Many missions-minded young women complain that there aren’t many good Christian guys out there, much less guys who want to be missionaries. What would you say to them?

I would say that the group that has been consistently the most resilient, diligent, and committed in their conviction to serve God have been single, female missionaries. Never let anyone make you feel like you can do more or less because you don’t have a spouse. I have been so inspired by many single, female missionaries’ lives, purity, holiness, and love for His people. I don’t think they’re in any way to be pitied. I understand that it can get lonely but don’t settle for just anyone for the sake of getting married. We have to check our hearts to see whether we’re putting marriage or the need for a relationship on a pedestal, desiring it more than we desire God.

By 2018, you will be planting a church in rural Thailand with your husband! It sounds quite scary. How did you make this decision together?

In Thailand, there are so many places, villages, and people who haven’t heard of the gospel and where there are no churches at all. Apart from the personal calling to serve in missions, I suppose the calling and ministry of my parents, and my own exposure and experiences as a missionary kid have had a great impact in forming this burden and vision. I’ve been preparing and praying for about five years, and I thank God that He has led both my husband and I to receive and respond to His call as a couple to serve in the church-planting ministry. It took many months of praying and fasting together for us to seek His will. We received confirmation through His Word, sought wise counsel and prayers from our spiritual leaders and community of faith, and saw how God opened doors to lead us to being sent into the mission field next year — it has been surreal and beyond anything we could have imagined. We’d appreciate your prayers as we begin this new season of our lives!

Dear Kallos: Is There Any Good That Can Come From Being Single?

Alina Teo — Wed, 29 Nov 2017 16:00:00 +0000

“Is there any good that can come from being single? Everyone around me seems to be getting attached!” – Single & Wondering

dear Single & Wondering,

When I was in university, I remember wondering the same thing. Since then, I’ve seen many girls in the same situation, often feeling like the odd one out or thinking that something might be wrong with them because they are single. That saddens me, because no matter whether you are single or attached, you should celebrate the season of life God has given to you. I truly believe that singlehood and marriage should both be celebrated! Singlehood is a wonderful time to discover more about who God has made you to be and marriage is a beautiful reflection of the relationship between Christ and the church.

There are so many good things about being single! There is a greater freedom to explore new areas of interests without needing to consider another person’s preferences. For certain ministries (e.g. those that involve travelling to places with treacherous conditions), only singles are able to perform such tasks without fearing they are endangering their children. In the Bible, there are numerous singles, like Paul and many of the twelve disciples, who were mightily used by God. No matter whether you are single or married, your life is a gift from God, so use it wisely!

With each season of life comes its own set of challenges. Don’t believe the lies like being single means you are not loved as much or that you need to strive more. Don’t be entrapped by these untruths. Enjoy singlehood and maximise it for God’s glory! Who knows where God will lead you as you place your trust in Him!

“I’ve always wondered: Is it possible to be best friends with a guy?” – A Girl-Friend

dear Girl-Friend,

I love your question! The question of platonic relationships is a real struggle for some. Personally, I don’t think there is a clear no or yes to this question. But I do believe that there are clear boundaries and motivations that need to be addressed when such a relationship surfaces. It is crucial to remember that what goes on in a girl’s head is vastly different from that of a guy. What a girl sees as “nothing” might be “something” to the guy and vice versa. Platonic relationships, or so they are called, may be possible at first, but often feelings develop unintentionally in either party, even if both swear there is nothing going on initially. In fact, a study conducted on this topic showed that guys were much more likely to be attracted to a female friend than the other way round in a “platonic” friendship, and only a small handful of people truly have platonic relationships that remain so.

As such, even if it is possible for you to be best friends with a guy, it may not be possible for the guy to just be best friends with you (though he may paint it that way). I know, guy-girl relationships can be so complicated!

This is what I feel is the baseline: Consider the other before self. Ask yourself: Will being close to this guy possibly stumble him? Are you choosing to honour the other person in your thoughts and actions?

If you do find yourself struggling to answer these questions, do talk to your leaders and close friends as well. Perhaps they would be able to shed light from an outsider’s perspective and point out what you cannot see.

At the end of the day, our choices and decisions have an impact on others and our own lives. Make decisions in light of what would delight God and what would most honour the other party, even if it’s not something we would prefer!

Dig Deeper: Does God Exist?

Hannah Leung — Wed, 29 Nov 2017 16:00:00 +0000

How do we know that air exists? While we cannot see air, there is much evidence that demonstrates the existence of air. For example, we can smell things that are far away from us, we can see the way the leaves of trees rustle, and we can feel the gentle breeze on our skin. Similarly, while we cannot physically see God, there is much evidence that points to the existence of God.

Considering the Universe

If you are familiar with the basics of physics, you will be familiar with the term constants. Some examples of constants are gravitational force, electromagnetic force, and the speed of light. These values are fixed, and nature is governed by them. For example, if you drop a rock from a height, it will, without a doubt, fall to the ground at a certain speed. The interesting thing about these values is that scientists have discovered that if these values differed by even a small margin, it would not be possible for life to exist on Earth or in the universe.

Paul Davies, a well-known physicist, made this comment: “There is for me powerful evidence that there is something going on behind it all … it seems as though somebody has fine-tuned nature’s numbers to make the universe. The impression of design is overwhelming.”

However, one might refute: “Perhaps, it’s all by chance?” Think about the number of possible permutations of values and quantities that the laws of nature boast (it is a very, very large number!). Out of all these permutations, only a very small number allow life to exist and grow. All other possibilities inhibit life. Rationally, it is more likely that it is not by chance that the universe is what it is. The mathematics show it!

A Design must have a Designer

For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities — his eternal power and divine nature — have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse (Rom 1:20).

If you aren’t familiar with physics, we can consider the biology of your eyeball instead. Do a quick search online for a cross-section image of an eyeball. It is intricate, isn’t it! And you don’t just have one, you have two! The universe is so vast and our bodies are so intricate, it’s hard to conclude that there is no designer behind it all — a Designer that exists outside of time, who has the blueprints to create beautiful, sustainable life.

Critics of design might ask: “Then who designed the designer?” Think about it this way: if you see paw marks on the beach, you would logically conclude that an animal like a cat or a dog had been there. You wouldn’t need to explain where the animal came from to conclude that there definitely was one at the beach! According to the famed apologist William Lane Craig, you don’t need to have an explanation of the explanation. If we did, nothing could ever be explained and everything would remain hypothetical. To say that the universe appears to be designed does not require us to explain where or how the Designer came to be. That question is a separate topic.

How about Jesus?

In conclusion, we answered the question “Does God exist?” by looking at the argument that God’s existence is the most likely explanation for how the universe and everything in it is intricate and intelligently designed. Philosophers call this the teleological argument. Fascinating, isn’t it? There are more arguments for the existence of God that we hope to cover in future issues of Kallos. It is so interesting to see how God is evident in the world that He created!

The next question might be: “Okay, now I am convinced that God does exist. But how do you know that Jesus is God?” In the next issue, we will look at the person of Jesus and His radical claim to be a deity — the Son of God. We will start by asking the question: Did Jesus Really Exist? Read about it in the next issue!

In the next issue, we will look at the person of Jesus and His radical claim to be a deity — the Son of God. We will start by asking the question: Did Jesus Really Exist? Read about it in the next issue!

Take The Three Weekends Of Wonder Challenge

Quek Shiwei — Wed, 29 Nov 2017 16:00:00 +0000

CHALLENGE RULES

For 3 mornings, spend at least an hour in nature based on the rules provided.
Find a quiet spot and refrain from being distracted by text messages or social media.
Observe what is around you and listen to what God might be saying to you.
Note down all you observations, thoughts, and feelings during the 1-hour session.

Challenger: MICHELLE CHEW, 20

3 Fun Facts:
1. I talk to myself when I’m watching shows alone
2. I did my diploma in Chinese Media and Communications in Ngee Ann Poly
3. I can eat a lot. I once ate 2 really huge and full bowls of Japanese dons by myself!

INITIAL THOUGHTS

When I received this challenge, I felt rather excited! Undeniably, this will pose a challenge for me because I’m not a morning person. Also, weekends are meant for sleeping in! That aside, I was truly curious about what these three Saturdays mornings will amount to. I’m anticipating how God will speak and how He will reveal more of Himself to me.

THE CHALLENGE

Week 1 – A Silent Morning Alone
Refrain from speaking aloud. Put your phone on airplane mode so you aren’t distracted by it.

I notice that there are many families having outings. This boy, who is probably only 4 years old, is asking his dad and grandad if they need help carrying items from the car. The boy is not aware that he is not going to relieve much of their burdens. Regardless of that, he offers help. His innocence really warms my heart :’) The dad and granddad look so happy when he asked! This sight parallels how our efforts in serving the Lord probably doesn’t amount to anything, but God is pleased when we offer whatever we have to serve Him and His kingdom. Even though our salvation isn’t found through our service unto God, we do so out of the love that we have for Him. All around me, I notice an abundance of trees growing fruitfully. I am reminded of the truth that God will always provide. These trees didn’t choose where to be situated at, but wherever they were, they still grow, blossom, and serve its purpose. Many times I tend to ask God, “Lord, is this where I should be? Is this where I am called to serve you in?” May it be that wherever I am, I will continue to do God’s work according to His commandments; He will provide the way.

Week 2 – A Time with God
Spend time talking to God in prayer. You can do this aloud, in your journal, or in your heart!

I took the time to pray specifically for my mum. As I prayed, God revealed an image of her in her usual working outfit, followed by her taking a step forward. Thereafter, she fell, but when she stood up again, she was dressed in robes like royalty.

For quite awhile, God has been telling me that He really cares for my mum. He has challenged me many times to share about my faith and beliefs but I have always held back. But as this vision came to mind, I took it to heart and told myself to ‘dream big’ for God.

Always being fearful of hurting my parents’ hearts when pursuing my faith and beliefs, I’ve silently pushed off water baptism many times. But in this season of my life, God has continually assured me that He will work things out and has challenged me to take a step of faith. I am reminded of Ecclesiastes 5:4 “When you make a vow to God, do not delay to fulfil it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfil your vow.” Throughout this week, this verse constantly encouraged me to trust God, be it sharing God’s love to my mum or dreaming big for Him. I am certain that God was not only working in my heart, but in my life as well.

Week 3 – Go with a Friend
Find a nature spot to walk (or sit) silently with a friend for about an hour. Keep conversation to a minimum, but feel free to share your thoughts when it arises or pray together.

After spending two Saturday mornings alone, I was thrilled to bring someone along with me! I invited my close friend from Polytechnic, Iphiginia. We are both really chatty together so our nature “date” was not as quiet as it should be — oops! It was edifying as we shared about our current life situations and how we’ve been doing in our walk with God. I am reminded of Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 and the beauty of friendships.

With Iphiginia, I was able to share about what God spoke to me during last week’s challenge and my struggles and she listened and offered words of encouragements. Her actions reminded me of how God is — always loving, quick to listen and slow to speak. I am thankful that we are also able to share about our breakthroughs and rejoiced and celebrated with the other.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Through these three weekends of wonder, I have come to recognise the value of spending quiet and unrushed time with God. With the chaos and noise from the world, we really need unhurried and quiet moments spent with Christ to remind us once more that He is Lord over our lives. To be frank, this was a good challenge; I think everyone should try it (hahaha). All it takes is for us to wake up a tad bit earlier on a weekend! I will probably make it a habit to continue doing this on a bi-weekly or monthly basis. Thank you Kallos for challenging me to break out of my ‘routine’ for a better one!