Issue 28 – Kallos

Dear Kallos: What Does It Really Mean To See Yourself The Way God Sees You?

Alina Teo — Mon, 23 Jul 2018 16:00:00 +0000

I have gotten compliments on my looks more than once, but I really don’t know what they see in me. In fact, I feel ugly most of the time. How do you gain confidence? What does it really mean to see yourself the way God sees you? – Feeling Ugly

dear Feeling Ugly,

When I read your question, the first thing I wanted to do was to give you a big hug and let you know that you are so, so deeply loved and very beautiful (even if you don’t see it). Living in a society that speaks of beauty as being mostly skin deep, it is tough for us to see things from another angle and redefine beauty according to God.

Growing up, I remember having similar thoughts. It was so tough understanding what it means to say, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Ps 139:14). Wonderful? That surely doesn’t sound like how I feel about myself. But through the years, I’ve begun to understand that God (and many others) doesn’t focus just on my looks — He looks beyond that.

Beauty encompasses so much more than how I look on the outside. God sees the efforts I put into what I do. He sees the kind words that I utter to others. He sees my heart toward Him. And I know He says, “You are beautiful, my daughter. Don’t ever forget that.”

Time and again, when I focus on God’s Word and His promises to be with me (Ps 139:13–18; Zeph 3:17), and choose to see myself through His eyes, things start to change. Often when we feel lousy about ourselves, it could be that we are focusing more on ourselves than on Christ. Focus on Christ and let Him affirm who you truly are to Him — beautiful and loved beyond measure, however you look.

Recently, one of my friends offered me test answers that she got from another class. I rejected her, but I also felt guilty because I knew people were cheating but I didn’t dare to say anything to the teachers. Have I done something wrong? But how could I tell on my friends? – Conflicted

dear Conflicted,

Well done for resisting the temptation to copy the answers! Doing the right thing is not always easy and I believe you feel this way because you know that what the others did was wrong.

Many a time, we can’t and shouldn’t dictate the actions that people choose, but we can be the light where we are placed. Telling on your friends may be one way of dealing with the situation, but it is very likely that they might get upset with you and merely repeat their actions again. Another way you may approach the situation is to use this opportunity to tell them why you chose not to copy. They may then see how being honest is more important than any grade they can ever achieve.

Don’t give up doing what is right even if everyone else is doing otherwise. Your life’s example stands out and, most importantly, God is delighted with you. Keep walking with Him closely and let Him direct your paths (Ps 37:1–7).

Dig Deeper: Why Did The Jews Reject Jesus?

Hannah Leung — Mon, 23 Jul 2018 16:00:00 +0000

“And one day, the Messiah will come to make everything right again,” Dad said, as he recounted her favourite story to her once again. “Do you remember what ‘Messiah’ means?” Dad cheekily asked.

She giggled. “Of course I remember! It means ‘Anointed One,’” she announced loudly. “But Dad? When will that day come? We’ve already waited so long.”

Dad chuckled and held her hand within his.

“He will come soon, beloved,” Dad whispered as he patted her hand. “When He does, He will restore Jerusalem and make all things right. He will redeem Israel and make it a new, powerful kingdom. The Messiah will be our triumphant King.”

Who were the Jews waiting for?

While there had been various messiahs in their history (e.g. David became an anointed one in 1 Sam 16:13) and differing ideas about what a messiah does, the Jews of Jesus’ time were anticipating the Messiah’s arrival. The Messiah (i.e. the Christ) would be a king like David who would rescue them from the control of the Roman empire and establish a new kingdom (Ps 2).

Why was Jesus rejected as the Messiah?

Instead of arriving as a triumphant king, Jesus came as a Suffering Servant (Isa 53). Rather than being heralded as a great military or political leader, he was “despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain… He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth” (Isa 53:3, 7). Since Jesus did not overturn Roman rule, many Jews did not recognise Him as the hoped-for King. He was seen at best as a rabbi, and at worst as a rebel.

What next?

Christians believe that the Messiah has already been sent by God and His name is Jesus. When Jesus came down to earth, He did not come as a powerful king, but rather as a vulnerable baby tucked in a manger. He came to take our sins by dying on the cross so that we may be saved into His kingdom. As we wait for the Messiah to return for us and finally rule over a new creation, let us live out and share with others all of His teachings, standing firm in our identity as children of God through faith in Jesus and always seeking to serve others. Should you have the privilege of meeting a Jewish person, try having a conversation about how it was unique that Jesus came as a servant and a ransom for many (Mark 10:45). Listen carefully to what they know and share what you believe!

Virginity Tests In India

Isabel Phua — Mon, 23 Jul 2018 16:00:00 +0000

STATISTICS

IN MAHARASHTA, THE KANJARBHAT COMMUNITY CONSISTS OF 200,000 PEOPLE

IF A WOMAN IS FOUND NOT A VIRGIN, SHE WILL BE BEATEN UP, BURNED WITH HOT WATER OR THE MARRIAGE MAY BE ANNULLED

WHAT IS THIS?

The virginity test is a centuries-old tradition in the Kanjarbhat community in Maharashtra. This virginity test is based on the now-debunked belief that all women bleed the first time they have sexual intercourse. As part of the ritual, the bride and groom are given a white sheet to consummate their marriage on while their families wait outside. The couple is then expected to produce bloodstains on the sheet as the woman’s hymen is broken. If there are no bloodstains on the sheets after consummation, the girl is labelled “spoilt goods”, and she can face punishments such as the marriage being annulled, her family being regarded social outcasts (in which the other females in her family will have difficulties finding a husband), or even being beaten or fined.

WHY IS THIS A PROBLEM?

The Kanjarbhat community operates mainly under the village council of elders, known as the panchayat. The panchayat has great authority over the community, even going so far as to outcast those who speak out against the practice of virginity tests. As a new generation of millennials are becoming increasingly outspoken against this practice, tensions have mounted within the community, with both men and women who resist the ritual risking physical abuse. In addition, as some activists have pointed out, this tradition places the requirement of virginity only on women, creating a double standard and an unequal balance of power when women who are accused of pre- marital sex face stiff consequences while men do not.

WHY DOES IT CONTINUE?

Village elders insist that abolishing the practice will encourage women to have pre-marital sex, and that this ritual prevents them from doing so. Also, women who oppose the tradition are afraid to speak up, as they fear the consequences they and their families might face.

WHAT NOW:
– Pray that as the Kanjarbhat community gets increasingly educated, more of them will oppose the practice and fight for the protection of women.
– Consider: Are the village elders’ reasons strong enough to justify keeping the ritual? Is there a better way to encourage young men and women to only enjoy sex within marriage?

You Are Not Your Grades! What Is Your True Identity?

Quek Shiwei — Mon, 23 Jul 2018 16:00:00 +0000

We’ve all had moments of absolute frustration and sadness when we want something so badly but just can’t get what we want. When I was a little girl, I remember throwing a tantrum in public because I really wanted a particular toy. My parents refused to give in to my spoiled behaviour and that made me fuss even more! I went home absolutely angry at my parents because they did not give me what I wanted. I was upset, but I moved on eventually.

But what do you do when what you can’t get is something really important that seems to affect your entire life? What if you don’t get the exam results you want or get into the school you’ve always dreamed of? How do you get over that?

When I was in secondary school, I had my eyes set on entering National University of Singapore and applying for Sociology as my major. I also desired to stay on-campus in a residential college called the College of Alice and Peter Tan, which focuses on reaching out to the community and had a strong Christian community too. However, some twists and turns in my educational journey led to homeschooling from ages 16 to 19, and using my American high-school diploma to apply for local universities was a complicated process.

I had high hopes, but my application was unfortunately denied.

THE IDENTITY BATTLE

I eventually got into a private university based in Singapore, but I couldn’t help but feel that this was not how my dream was supposed to turn out!

For two years, I spilled angry tears and battled with disappointment with God, but all I heard was silence. For two years, I struggled with my identity.

The failure to get into a local university haunted me to no end. I can still vividly remember how much I loathed my first semester. I remember the nights I cried myself to sleep because I felt so upset at myself and with God. I felt like a disappointment and a failure. My future looked bleak.

Subconsciously, my identity had become centred on my academic successes. To me, success was about consistent stellar grades and studying at a reputable school, and this success was one I craved and desired. It was a badge of honour and what I wanted to be known for — Dorothea, the successful one. Instead of wanting to be recognised for other attributes, such as being kind, patient, or godly, I wanted to be known most for my success.

And on a scale of one to 10, I felt like I was nowhere near success.

I FELT LIKE A DISAPPOINTMENT AND A FAILURE. MY FUTURE LOOKED BLEAK.

SINGAPOREAN SUCCESS

In primary school, every student is streamed, ranked, and placed in different classes according to how well they do for their examinations.

In secondary school, the science stream is preferred over the arts. The reason is simple — choosing the arts stream appears risky and is less desirable; the science stream offers a more secure future.

Between junior colleges, polytechnics, and vocational institutes, the choice is often for whichever appears more promising for one’s future. And when it comes to universities, private ones or those overseas are seen as options only for those who do not make it to local universities.

Whether we like it or not, many of us have grown up in the Singaporean context where the quality of your education and your academic results are early indicators of your success in life, and so when you are unable to enter a particular school or even a particular stream, it can often feel like “it’s the end”. Simply put, you’ve lost your chance at a successful future.

With these standards in mind, it is little wonder that many of us, myself included, find such a strong link between our grades and our identity. We think that our academic and future career success make up who we are, and failing to meet the mark can lead to feelings of insecurity and serious questions about whether we are good enough.

GOD'S DEFINITION OF SUCCESS

While the world’s definition of success is heavily dependent on tangible achievements such as fame, wealth, and social status, the Bible offers a completely different perspective. A successful life comes from knowing God and choosing to trust Him and follow His ways (Prov 1:7, 3:1–6; Mic 6:6–8).

All throughout the Bible, the people who led significant lives were not necessarily those who were born into royal families, perfectly eloquent, or typically successful in the world’s eyes. Instead, some of the least likely characters made important contributions to the story of God’s people — Rahab was a prostitute (Josh 2; 6), Moses killed an Egyptian and spoke poorly (Exod 2:11–15; 4:10), Ruth was a poor foreign widow (Ruth 1:4–5), and David was the youngest of seven brothers and simply a shepherd (1 Sam 16:10–12). Among Jesus’ followers, there were lowly fishermen and tax collectors, who were generally despised (Matt 4:18; 9:10–11; 10:3; Luke 19:1–10).

Why did they end up being important? God always looks at the heart not at the external (1 Sam 16:7). No matter what their background was, choosing to trust and obey God was what made them His people, and as recipients of God’s mercy through faith in Christ, we are sons and daughters of the Most High God (1 Pet 2:10). They and we are successful in God’s eyes when we choose the things of God instead of the things of the world (Matt 16:23).

WE ARE SUCCESSFUL IN GOD’S EYES WHEN WE CHOOSE THE THINGS OF GOD INSTEAD OF THE THINGS OF THE WORLD

WHO HE SAYS I AM

It took me two years of internalising these truths in the Word of God to win the identity battle.

Some days, I still struggle with society’s definition of success when I go through a difficult season in school. But there is so much comfort that I can find in the Word of God when it reassures me about who I am and who God has created me to become (Ps 139:13–16). The accolades and achievements that I may collect are not defining indicators of my identity. Who He says I am is who I truly am.

Meeting My Father After 10 Years Apart

Nicole Inez Sho — Mon, 23 Jul 2018 16:00:00 +0000

I was nervous. I hadn’t seen him since I was nine, and here I was waiting for his arrival.

“What would he expect me to be? Can I be myself with him? Is this going to be awkward?” Questions zipped through my mind as I waited for my dad to come.

CHILDHOOD TRAUMA

As a child, I was well acquainted with family tension. Since my birth, my parents had several serious marital problems. Those problems led to frequent quarrels and fights. One of the most traumatic fights I witnessed was a late-night quarrel which led to my mother sitting on the edge of the window contemplating whether to jump. As a five-year-old kid, I could barely understand the circumstances my family was in. In my confusion, the only thing I knew for certain was that my parents were struggling in their marriage and my family seemed unstable, painful, and messy.

Things got messier when my parents were in the process of filing for a divorce. I started to see my dad a lot less. My mum moved out for a period and most days I had to choose, “Do I want to live with Mummy or Daddy today?” It seemed like I always had to choose one or the other, but I couldn’t have both. What was normal for most children became a privilege for me—to be under the same roof as my mum and dad. Family gatherings were chaotic and maintaining a relationship with my dad felt like a feat. Time always seemed to run out fast whenever I got to see him for a few hours.

By age six, my parents had officially split. Their separation also meant a separation between my dad and me. We kept in contact for a year after the divorce, but soon our relationship became distant and separation became the status quo. I adapted to my ‘new’ life without my dad. My mum and I built a strong relationship with each other, but at the back of my mind, I still thought of my dad. I understood that he might not have been a great husband, but he was still my dad. And so, in the years of silence that followed, I always yearned to meet him again. The thought of not knowing where in the world my dad was or how he was doing sometimes frightened me, but since none of my other family members were reaching out to him, I went with the flow and did likewise.

IS HE A GOOD FATHER?

A few years ago, the Lord started to lead my church in the direction of knowing God as our Father. It was also a season in which I realised that I struggled with God being a good Father. We sang Good Good Father in worship a lot, and whenever we came to the bridge, “You are perfect in all of your ways to us,” I would doubt this truth. I questioned God in my heart: “If You are such a perfect Father, why is my family like this?”

WHAT WAS NORMAL FOR MOST CHILDREN BECAME A PRIVILEGE FOR ME — TO BE UNDER THE SAME ROOF AS MY MUM AND DAD.

Somehow, by God’s grace, I kept my heart tender. I allowed these questions to draw me closer to God instead of pushing me away from Him. I shared my feelings with my leaders and I wanted to know the Lord as my Father. I became very intentional in discovering God as my good Father.

The breakthrough came in a prayer house, where I responded to an invitation to know God as a Father. In my time of response, the Lord brought back significant scenes of my past as a child and helped me see that even in my mother’s womb, I was safe. Before I drew my first breath as a baby, God was already fathering me. I felt the stability and protection of my Father in heaven. The fact is that earthly fathers fail. Because of that, my parents’ marriage failed and our family was broken apart. However, our heavenly Father doesn’t fail.

Of course, the response song turned out to be Good Good Father. This time, when the bridge came, what used to be a line I sang with great apprehension and doubt could be sung with conviction!

THE FIRST HELLO

As I began to grow in relationship with my heavenly Father, He started to grow a desire in my heart for reconciliation with my earthly father. I had so many questions about when the right time would be, how he would respond, and, most importantly, what my family would think. Would my mum think I was betraying her by reaching out to my dad who had hurt her so deeply? Would my brother be upset with me? It was a huge step out of my comfort zone and it was one that I wasn’t sure I could take by my own strength.

One day after church, I had this prompting to reach out to my biological dad again. I was fearful and uncertain if reconciliation could happen, but I decided that I was going to text him in that moment. But who could have predicted what happened next? My dad beat me to it! When I took my phone out of my bag, I saw a message from him that said, “Nicole, how are you?”

The first hello after all those years was the start of a journey and not the final destination. I don’t think we could have got to this stage if God hadn’t been working to restore the relationship. I’ve enjoyed getting to know my father again and during this period, I’ve discovered that God had been working to heal my father, lead him to repentance, and empower him to live out God’s calling. I’ve witnessed God’s grace and mercy in restoring my dad, a man who made many mistakes in marriage. I see that God is not done with him and has many plans to continue reconciling my dad to Himself — my dad is God’s son and his Father is also restoring his identity as God’s child.

I QUESTIONED GOD IN MY HEART: “IF YOU ARE SUCH A PERFECT FATHER, WHY IS MY FAMILY LIKE THIS? ”

Till this day, God continues to restore my relationship with my father, bit by bit. I feel like I am rediscovering my father and myself. Most days when I return home from “dates” with my dad, I am in happy tears because I feel so loved by my Heavenly Father and my earthly father. Above all, I stand in awe of God, who knows me and how to love me. He knew the right moment to restore my belief in Him as a good Father and the right moment to bring my biological dad back into my life. He has taken me by the hand, captured my heart, and healed me. I am so assured by the fact that true reconciliation starts, progresses, and ends in our Father’s love, not by my effort, but God’s alone.

Love & Sexuality: Will I Lose My Virginity By Engaging In Heavy Petting?

Benita Lim — Mon, 23 Jul 2018 16:00:00 +0000

“Will I lose my virginity by engaging in heavy petting?”

The Oxford Dictionary defines virginity as “the state of never having had sexual intercourse”. Based on this definition, you’re technically still a virgin if you’ve only gone as far as heavy petting, since there’s been no penetration by the penis.

However, the more important question is this: is being a virgin the most important thing? Or is there more?

There is a tendency in Christian culture to be obsessed with the idea of virginity, which has led to the ‘purity ring’ movement in the US. This involved wearing purity (or ‘promise’) rings and signing pledges to abstain from sex before marriage. High- profile celebrities who hopped on (and off) this bandwagon include Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, and the Jonas Brothers. However, all of them broke their pledges. Focusing on being a ‘technical’ virgin obviously did not enable them to keep their promise.

1 Thessalonians 4:3–4 says, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honourable…” In the Bible, sexual immorality refers to sexual activity outside of marriage. For us today, this would include heavy petting as it involves stimulation of the genitals. It is clear that the verses do not call us to be ‘technical’ virgins — rather, we are called to be holy and honorable by exercising self-control and staying away from sexual immorality. We are called to focus on honouring God with our body instead of sinning against it (1 Cor 6:18–20)!

We miss this point when we ask whether certain behaviours like petting, French kissing or even seeing each other naked is ‘wrong’. This is because we’re focusing on our actions rather than our motivations and what is in our heart.

My encouragement to you is that instead of fixating on the dividing line between virgin and non-virgin and seeing how far you can go before you’ve ‘lost’ your virginity, consider what you need to do to flee from sexual immorality and honour God with your body (1 Cor 6:18).

This may include refraining from watching shows that attempt to titillate through nudity or sex scenes, so as not to fuel fantasies or desires. It would also be wise to avoid situations where you or your partner may be tempted to explore each other’s bodies in a sexual manner. If you’re not married, your bodies do not belong to each other (Mark 10:8)!

If all this leads you to feeling guilt and shame over your actions, do take heart that Christ the Bridegroom has already given Himself to sanctify and wash you as part of His Bride, the Church, who shall be presented as holy and blameless (Eph 5:25–27). And if you’re struggling with your body and sexuality, please speak to a mature Christian sister about it! Find out God’s purposes for the body and for marriage, and seek a Spirit-filled will to honour God in this area. There is often no instant fix, however, so do not walk this journey alone, dear sister!

Spotlight: Chan Yun Xuan – Culinary Missionary

Quek Shiwei — Mon, 23 Jul 2018 16:00:00 +0000

When we think of someone doing mission work, we usually think of someone getting on a plane, flying to another country, and working to help the people there. However, Yun Xuan and her friends found an unconventional way to contribute to mission work from right here in Singapore. I met up with Yun Xuan to find out how she used her culinary skills to create a dessert menu to raise funds to provide education to children in Batam.

Hi Yun Xuan! You were our cover model in Issue 3, and now you’re on Spotlight for Issue 28! What have you been up to since then?

I graduated from polytechnic with a diploma in Cooking and Culinary Science. I went on to work for two years and I am currently studying sociology in Singapore University of Social Sciences. I also work part-time with a company where I am involved in visiting girls’ homes and doing various projects to help the poor.

You recently partnered with some people to open a restaurant for a short amount of time. What was that about?

The project was called “The Good Hours.” It was a private event where we invited family and friends to come together to consume our desserts to raise funds for the education of children in Batam. A common misconception is that people separate mission trips and humanitarian works from their daily lives. Something common that people say is, “I am a student and I cannot do anything now!” But that is not entirely true! Through this project, we wanted to use whatever talents we have to reach out to people who are in need.

GOD GAVE US SUCH TALENTS, SO WE NEED TO STEWARD THEM FAITHFULLY AND USE THEM TO THE FULLEST FOR HIS GLORY.

Who came up with the idea, and who decided to bring it to life?

Isaac Ong, my youth leader in church, was the one who came up with the idea. During my time in polytechnic, I went through a competition that gave me a lot of exposure and learning experiences. Isaac was exploring the idea of how we can leverage on such experiences. One day, he approached my friend and I and asked if it was possible for us to impact society in a more unconventional way. We eventually decided on desserts (that was my friend’s and my forte) and after exploring and experimenting with ideas for a few weeks, we managed to come up with a dessert menu. We rented our friend’s space and things started to shape up.

What made you decide to get involved?

My heart is for the mission field, but during that period of my life, I did not have the time and capacity to fly overseas for missions. However, I knew that I was supposed to be in Singapore to do whatever I can. So when Isaac proposed this idea, I immediately agreed. The culinary skills I had were put to use for a good cause — giving the impoverished children in Batam an education!

Were you surprised at how much attention/how popular the project got? Why?

I was! Initially, we were actually pretty afraid that it would backfire because we are not renowned dessert chefs at all! But so many friends and family believed in us and in this project. We ran it three times a week for a month; the people who came were so receptive to this idea and invited so many friends to support us!

THROUGH THIS PROJECT, WE WANTED TO USE WHATEVER TALENTS WE HAVE TO REACH OUT TO PEOPLE WHO ARE IN NEED.

What was the most faith-stretching part of this project?

At the start, I was filled with excitement at the novelty of something new, but as the weeks went by, when I was just bombarded with all the physical work, I became more focused on making sure I delivered results. But actually, whenever we plated a dessert, it had to be done with a lot of love and prayer because that was the power that actually made this project so successful! I had to continuously remind myself of the heart of this project and why I was doing what I did.

What is one lesson you’ve learnt that you will never forget?

It is to never underestimate whatever small talent that I have. I never acknowledged that baking was a talent I had. When I bake for people and receive compliments, I perceive it as them being courteous toward me. However, we need to understand that whatever talent we have is not ours but given by God. God gave us such talents, so we need to steward them faithfully and use them to the fullest for His glory.

Is there any chance that there will be round two of this project? Why or why not?

I think… yes. When the project ended, we did think to ourselves that we might do it again someday. In that project, we managed to fund the education of 30 kids! We praise God for that but there is still so much that we can do. Blessedly, we had people coming up to us after the project ended and asking if they could support us in any way. There’s so much we have yet to explore — with savoury food, or even with drinks! It will be nice to do something similar again to get more people and their talents involved.

What will you say to someone who has a passion to reach out to a group of people but doesn’t know where to start?

I think the most important thing is that you do not need to have a particular sum of money or to have a lot of experience to be qualified to help others. Because of this revelation I had, I did things differently! I started to not undermine my daily actions because though they might be seemingly small, they can amount to something eventually. Be faithful in stewarding what you have and God will open the doors.

What I Wish I Knew At 19

Kallos Team — Mon, 23 Jul 2018 16:00:00 +0000

Dear 19-year-old Celena,

I know what you are feeling right now. You’re angry and disappointed at your ‘A’ level grades. You’ve worked hard and even tried to get a good non-academic record just in case this happened, but your appeals to get into a local university have been rejected twice. I know you’re crying yourself to sleep and asking God why your grades are so terrible. I wish I could give you a hug and tell you that it isn’t all bad!

You have a wonderful mentor who is interested in your life’s journey. Speak to her. She will be a lifeline in this situation, praying with you, having meals with you, and checking in on you every now and then. She will be your fervent prayer warrior, asking that the right door will open for you. And it will! Spoiler alert: you’re going to the University of Western Australia and it will be the best time of your life, providing you with an education and a path toward independent adulthood. God will take every one of your failures and set you on a different path that will prove to be beautiful in its season.

There’s something else I have to say. I’m sure you already know by now that you love the bad boys who are oh-so-cool! You think nothing of Christian boys who seem boring, stoic and are too serious for the free-spirited you. “Unequally yoked” is a phrase that does not exist in your dating dictionary, but trust me, it will be a huge mistake!

You will come to know through the next decade that the guys you will end up dating because of this will somehow share the same agenda of fulfilling their physical desires and the relationships will fall apart because there is no common moral ground to hold them together. Hollywood sells you the idea that sex is pleasurable and we should gratify ourselves whenever we feel like it with whomever we want. But the Bible tells us that unless sex is within the boundaries of a sacred marriage, it will be dangerous and even destructive.

Let me be clear though — dating a Christian does not protect you from crossing physical boundaries. There will be the temptation to experiment with sexual activity; you will have to stand strong in your belief that if a guy truly loves and respects you, he wouldn’t demand this of you outside of marriage.

Finally, I’ll share one of my favourite verses with you — “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” (Prov 31:30). This amazing verse sums up what you should pay the most attention to. I encourage you to invest your time in learning what it means to fear the Lord, loving Him and loving others. You only live out your 20s once, so make the best of it! I hope that in spite of the discouragements you currently face, the spoilers from the future will help you to make wise decisions for Christ today!

Love,

29-year-old Celena

Caring For Creation – Be A Steward Of The Earth!

Jiamin Choo — Mon, 23 Jul 2018 16:00:00 +0000

Recently, I watched Chasing Coral on Netflix. It’s a 2017 documentary about the magical underwater world. At first, I was dazzled by the imagery of pink, magenta and orange coral reefs. I was reminded of the time when I snorkelled in the Red Sea, the Great Barrier Reef, and the clear waters of Papua New Guinea. My heart warmed at the thought of drifting through the waters, lost in the wonder of these majestic reefs.

But a sobering message rang out: coral reefs are bleaching and dying. What were once vibrant homes for schools of fishes were losing their colours, fading to bone white, then rotting into sludge. This has been reported all over the world — sightings of coral bleaching at alarming rates. Reefs are dying because most of the heat generated by the burning of fossil fuels has been absorbed by the ocean, causing ocean temperatures to rise by two degrees. I found myself in tears, protesting, “Nooooo!!” as the imagery showed healthy, beautiful reefs vanishing into coral graveyards within a year.

Why should we care? Is it because coral reefs are vital in maintaining the ocean’s health, and without a healthy ocean, we don’t have a healthy planet? Is it because over a billion people depend on coral reefs for food and income from fishing and tourism? Or is it because we’re God’s stewards, appointed to take care of our Master’s creation, and in doing so, we honour God and bring Him delight?

Through Genesis 1–2, God reveals Himself as the Creator, creating the heavens, earth, and seas, and all the vegetation and living creatures. God blessed His creation, and after creating humankind in His own image to rule over His creation, God saw everything that He had made and judged it to be very good.

Then God brought Adam to the Garden of Eden to “work it and take care of it” (Gen 2:15). Another translation from the Hebrew text can mean to “serve it and to preserve it”. It’s important to note that Adam (representing humankind) wasn’t the owner, but a steward entrusted with the joyful responsibility of managing and nurturing God’s creation. One day, humankind (that’s us!) will have to give an account to God regarding how we’ve managed the things entrusted to us — relationships, time, finances, souls, and also this earth we live in. Would we be found to have taken His things for granted or even exploited them? Or would we be found faithful in our stewardship of God’s resources?

God loves all of His creation. It’s not us or the environment. It’s us and the environment. We’ve been created by the same Creator to glorify Him. Psalm 148 bears beautiful witness to how both nature and man are called to praise God together! Even though God’s creation is suffering because of humankind’s sin, one day, creation itself will be set free from slavery to decay and brought into the glory of God’s children (Rom 8:21).

I may not be a marine biologist or an environmental advocate, but I can do my part in caring for God’s handiwork, including the coral reefs. Plastics often end up as ocean debris, destroying habitats and killing thousands of marine animals each year. Hence, I’m choosing to use fewer plastic products. I carry a stainless-steel water bottle, bring my tingkat to pack meals from the food court, and carry my reusable bag when I go shopping. Last year, I braved the switch to Hannahpads (a brand of washable sanitary cloth pads) so as to help keep thousands of plastic-based disposable pads out of landfills. This does mean more effort and less convenience. But we want to care for this world, because it belongs to our Creator who’s entrusted us with it. We should not let God’s creation perish. Not on our watch.

PRAYER
God, thank You for creating nature that reflects Your beauty and glory. Help me not take Your creation for granted, but to faithfully care for it as a steward who honours You. Amen.

REFLECTION TIME
1. What do you love most about nature, and why?
2. What are some ways that you can care for God’s creation right here, right now?

DELVE DEEPER
Read and reflect on these passages on how creation care matters:
o Psalm 104
o Romans 8:18-25
o Colossians 1:15-20

HANDLES
To engrave God’s Word onto your heart, meditate on it throughout the day. Maybe it’s a key word or verse that stood out during your Bible reading. Don’t rush through it, but slow down, focus on what it really means and ask God to show you how to apply it in your life.

Take The Gratitude Challenge

Quek Shiwei — Fri, 23 Mar 2018 16:00:00 +0000

CHALLENGE RULES

1. For the first week, make an intentional effort to greet the non-teaching staff in your school and thank them for their acts of service.

2. Within the week, try to have short conversations with at least three of them.

3. For the second week, write a note or make a small gift to show your gratitude toward six of them. If possible, offer to pray for them as well!

4. Keep a journal of your experience.

Challenger: ARIN MAK, 14

3 Fun Facts:

1. I like to run
2. I enjoy reading
3. My favourite colour is yellow

INITIAL THOUGHTS

To be very honest, I was not excited about the challenge when I saw the phrase ‘non-teaching staff’. The first thing that came to my mind was that I will need to talk to the cleaners in school. Recently, I was also required to reach out to the non-teaching staff in school as it was part of my Values In Action (VIA) project, which is a community involvement program to encourage students to be socially responsible citizens. My friends and I went around school to approach the aunties who were in charge of cleaning the toilets in an attempt to strike up conversations with them.

However, it was difficult for us to communicate with them as we were not very good in speaking Chinese and they couldn’t speak English. It was so tough just to get both parties to understand each other! For this challenge, I want to reach out to the cleaners again as they are the most senior in school and in my opinion, they work the hardest. I really hope that this time, I can have more proper conversations with these aunties unlike the conversations I struggled to have with them previously.

THE CHALLENGE

Week 1
During the first week of the challenge, I made a mental note to intentionally greet the aunties whenever I visited the toilet and when I saw them in the corridors. They usually smile at me or nod their heads at me politely and continue doing their work. I spoke to a total of three aunties that were in charge of cleaning the toilets in school. I started the conversation by asking them if they had taken their lunch and I also asked them what their working hours are like.

Talking to the aunties this time round was easier as I asked a friend of mine who was good in Chinese to follow me to speak to them. When I spoke to one of the aunties, I got a glimpse into what their lives as a cleaning staff is like. She was complaining about the difficulties she faced while cleaning the toilets. The auntie told me that some students do not flush the toilets and litter the floor with toilet paper. She had to clean up their mess and that often ruined her appetite. After hearing what the students did, I felt disgusted by their actions. How could someone be so irresponsible and let their elders clean up after their mess! She talked to me as if I were a friend of hers as she kept on pouring her heart out to me. Honestly, I did not really know what to say to her but I tried to comfort her by mentioning that the inconsiderate acts of students were wrong and that they should be more considerate instead. When I went a step further to thank her for her contributions to the school, she smiled and thanked me for appreciating her efforts.

Week 2
For the second week, I knew that the challenge involved making something small as a gesture of appreciating the aunties for their hard work that often goes unseen. I was not very sure what to do at first and struggled a little as I am not a very artistic person and am not good at drawing or decorating things. However, I knew that it was not about the artistic skills but the heart of gratitude that I hoped they could sense from me. Hence, my card was simple — I wrote ‘Thank You’ on it, accompanied by a Bible verse (Phil 4:13). I remember that after greeting the aunties, I passed them the cards and went off for my lessons. They thanked me with a bright smile and that really warmed my heart!

FINAL THOUGHTS

During this challenge, one of the greatest difficulties was the language barrier between the aunties and myself. The majority of them spoke very little English and my struggle with Chinese made it quite difficult to put my words into complete sentences! However, it was a much better experience compared to my VIA project. The reason was because I decided to bring a friend along with me who was able to speak Chinese brilliantly. Hence, whenever I felt stuck, I was comforted to have someone that could offer me some support and bridge the lack of communication between the aunties and myself. Over the course of these two weeks, I have learnt what having a heart of gratitude is like. It need not be anything huge or elaborate but small intentional actions daily can go a long way! I have truly gained a new-found appreciation for the cleaning staff in school and I hope I will not take them for granted anymore! Moving forward, I plan to continue being intentional in greeting the aunties and initiating conversations with them to hear them out