Issue 34 – Kallos

Spotlight: Joanne Kwok Influences With A Difference At Thir.st

Quek Shiwei — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 04:00:00 +0000

Joanne Kwok, or Jonk as she is known to her friends, is the creative producer at Thir.st, an online Christian site that addresses a range of topics from faith, to relationships, to studies, and doing good. Since its launch in December 2016, it has averaged more than 300,000 visitors and 1 million page views each year.

With such an established platform with a great deal of influence, I felt apprehensive yet excited to meet the woman behind the inspiring content of Thir.st. But in the span of a few minutes, Joanne’s outgoing personality made me feel right at home! In this digital age with plenty of influencers, she is a shining example of what an influencer ought to be — confident yet humble. Joanne’s main message? We all have influence, and we should be real and authentic as we use it for good.

Hi Joanne! What are the first three words that come to your mind when I say the word “influence”?

Responsibility, creativity, authenticity. People are gifted with influence and it’s their responsibility to steward that influence well. Secondly, people are looking for creativity in story-telling that impacts and compels someone into action. Lastly, authenticity is key. It is easy to manufacture aesthetic photos and compelling stories. But if people think, “you pitched it so high, I can never achieve that,” then you’ve missed the point.

When did you first realise that you had influence?

When I was in school, people followed what I did and I got into trouble. My teacher would call me out and say, “You need to watch what you say and behave because everyone is following you”. I would get confused because I got into trouble for being the “instigator” of things I didn’t even intend to make others do! Those small instances made me realise that I had influence of some sort.

But the first time I was fully convicted of my influence was in university when I made a video for a project on dreams. When I presented it in front of project owners from different companies, one of the judges was crying so badly [because she was so moved] and the whole room was silent. The video was put online and it got me invited to speak at 2012’s TEDxYouth. I don’t know whose lives I changed the day I spoke but that was probably the first brush of influence that I had. I wasn’t trying to prove anything but I feel like influence was given to me.

How do you balance between acting in a certain way because you know eyes are on you and being yourself on social media?

I strongly believe that if you are in the thick of your grief or still processing a situation, you should not short-circuit that by speaking or writing about it yet publicly. It’s kind of like dunking something that’s cooking into cold water and it just stops it right there. The lessons you could have learnt could have been so much deeper. But because you were in such urgency to influence others, you have short-changed yourself and compromised your own process of growth.

I’ve actually started composing posts, then deleted them and told myself, “You know what? You’re not ready. You just want to write this for someone to see your pain, and someone can read this sad emo thing and ask if you are okay. Or you want the person you are actually writing about to see it.” Sometimes we get clouded by justifying, “So many people could be impacted by this and it would be so great for them to hear this”. But only you will know your heart’s intention for putting it out there in the first place.

KNOWING THAT I CAN SEPARATE MY WEIGHT FROM MY WORTH HAS BEEN HUGE. YOUR WEIGHT CAN CHANGE, BUT YOUR WORTH IS UNCHANGEABLE.

What would you say to girls who look to you as a role model?

Role models, in any stage of life, are super important. People need to see the truths of the Bible ‘walking’, they need to see what a surrendered life looks like. They need to see that someone doesn’t have it all together but the journey is worth it.

Honestly when I was younger, I went through a very difficult time. I’m pretty sure I had some kind of depression; I was crying every night. I had many body image issues, and I would trace my body out and wonder to myself, “Why do I look like that?” I would tell myself, “Other girls have their prime and you’ve already missed yours. You’ll never get there.” I remember this so clearly though: One night, I told God, “If one day you can let me tell other girls my age (I was 12 then) who are going through the same things that I am [that they are not alone], this suffering would make sense”. I’ve just turned 30, so for this interview to happen now, I feel like it’s an answered prayer to share this with Kallos’ readers.

I’m no supermodel. I’m sure you can tell that at a glance. But knowing that I can separate my weight from my worth has been huge. Your weight can change, but your worth is unchangeable.

Should a person’s influence have any effect on the kind of content we create and upload on our social media platforms?

I have been asked, “Should I care about what people think of my content? I have no control over them; if they don’t like my content, then whatever.” And that seems like logical thinking, like, “I am not my brother’s keeper” (Gen 4:9). But you totally are your brother’s keeper!

If people reading your content are your church friends, pastors, parents, siblings, and you know that what you post might affect them, how can you say that you are not your brother’s keeper? Just because you don’t see their true reactions doesn’t mean people didn’t get stumbled or misled, and people can go away with a message passed down a “broken telephone”. You need to weigh it very carefully.

EVERY YOUNG PERSON, PURELY BY HAVING A SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORM, HAS INFLUENCE. EVEN IF THERE ARE ONLY TEN PEOPLE FOLLOWING YOU, ONE STORY CAN INFLUENCE THEM.

As Christians, how should we use the influence we have wisely?

Two years ago, a friend contacted me out of the blue. She said, “I’ve been going through a tough time recently and you always write about your faith and how difficult it can be. I wanted to ask, how do you keep faith?” I was puzzled at her question because she used to be so anti-Christian, but she’d actually accepted Christ over the years we’d lost contact! This experience taught me that being authentic about your life is like being a lighthouse. Most days, people don’t care about lighthouses. But when they are about to smash into the rocks, it matters. If you’re a lighthouse that is always shining, people will remember that faithful lighthouse when they need direction. I don’t mean you need to portray some perfect life. Your life has rocks too; you’re in the thick of human experience, with good and bad days. Authenticity is so important.

Final piece of wisdom about “influence”?

The social media platform is an extension of your life — it’s not like a random third arm that you use as and when. What you post is literally you and who you are. That’s why your testimony needs to flow into those spaces as well! The way you live and have been taught to live as a Christian has to be the same way you live in those spaces. You cannot say, “This platform is for my frivolous self” minus the whole Christian part of your life. If you are trying to live your regular life talking about Jesus, I don’t see why it disappears the moment you use a social media platform just because “I have never used my Instagram for this before”. Don’t compartmentalise your life.

Every young person, purely by having a social media platform, has influence. Even if there are only ten people following you, one story can influence them. Invest in these ten people; compel them to action to reach another ten. Don’t compare your influence with that of someone with 100 followers. At the end of the day, the effort and the heart behind it is all the same: to live a life that draws others closer to their encounter with God, both offline and online.

What’s Wrong With Watching Porn?

Kallos Team — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 04:00:00 +0000

Did you know that 51 percent of Christian youths in Singapore have viewed porn at least once in the past year? According to the Whole Life Inventory by Focus on the Family, 35 percent of Singaporean teen females have been exposed to porn and 22 percent of single young women watch porn one to five times a year.

This March, renowned Christian author and evangelist Josh McDowell spoke at Cru Singapore’s Set Free conference, the first nationwide conference on pornography. This spunky 79-year-old was decked out in a Superman belt and Spider-Man socks, and reminded one of a fun grandfather.

He recalled buying a children’s book about Spider-Man for his grandson, and realising there were explicit images that he actually needed to tear out to protect him. That was one of the many instances that made him realise that pornography has grown into a huge problem that we need to stop ignoring. He then decided to commission a ground breaking study on the issue of pornography in the USA that cost him a quarter of a million dollars.

His research showed the following statistics:

– The average age of exposure to porn is eight to nine years old.

– 82 million porn videos are viewed by kids and teens all around the world every day.

– The largest group of Internet porn consumers are 12 to 17 years old.

– 79 percent of porn users begin their habit at home.

– It takes at least 3-5 years to break free from a pornography addiction.

In our own survey with over 60 teen girls who watch pornography regularly, we found that 80 percent of them wanted help to stop being addicted to pornography, with many of them expressing shame and guilt. Kallos spoke to Josh in an exclusive interview to find out more about how porn affects us as young women and our relationships, and how to be truly set free.

INTIMACY IS NOT SEX; IT IS THE CAPACITY TO BE REAL WITH THE OTHER PERSON, NO FACADE, NO BARRIER.

1. IS WATCHING PORNOGRAPHY REALLY A BAD THING?

The easiest answer to this question is that I can’t find anything good in watching pornography. It is a counterfeit of God’s original design for sexuality and it dehumanises individuals. In particular, it makes women be looked at as items, as objects, and sends the message that what’s important is their body, not the person.

Put it this way: you marry a man who watches porn [regularly and refuses to get help], or vice versa, and you will [find it difficult to] experience what I have experienced for 48 years of my life with my wife — incredible love, intimacy, sexual relationship, everything. Intimacy is not sex; it is the capacity to be real with the other person, no façade, no barrier.

2. CAN PORNOGRAPHY BE A NORMAL EXPRESSION OF A WOMAN’S SEXUAL DESIRES?

It amazes me that somebody would really think porn is normal, [with 90% of all popular porn scenes depicting violence toward women, and 50% depicting verbal use] … getting hit, beaten, all that is normal? That doesn’t fit into my concept of what is normal and healthy. If it indeed is normal, then why do an overwhelming majority of the women that are in porn end up being damaged for life? To agree with this statement, you’d have to say that damaging someone is a normal process of life in sexuality, and I can’t go for that.

3. WHAT ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS FOR A YOUNG WOMAN TO DO IF SHE IS STRUGGLING WITH PORN?

Firstly, get a support group. The more vulnerable you are about your struggles, the less grip it has on you. Secondly, cut the problem at its source. Even if you join the support group but don’t cut the source, it won’t help. If you cut the source but don’t join a support group, it also will not help.

4. KNOWING THAT SO MANY MEN WATCH PORN, HOW CAN A YOUNG WOMAN BE SECURE IN HER BODY IMAGE OR EVEN TRUST MEN?

It will be very difficult unless you have a good family setting, especially in your relationship with your father, and your parents have brought you up teaching you about your sexuality, your body, feeling comfortable in your body, knowing what is right and what is wrong and so on. If you have the kind of relationship with your father where you really, really trust your dad, it’s going to be so much easier for you to trust other men.

The way I raised my three daughters and my son from the time they were born was to teach them that their bodies are beautiful, that God created them, and their private parts are not private because they are dirty, but because they are [sacred]. I teach them about their significance and meaning as individuals. Porn on the other hand pretty much says the significance of a woman is sex. In reality, sex is such a little tiny part of life, and to think that women are defined by this little tiny part of life, as purely sexual, is sad to see.

5. WHAT CAN A TEENAGE GIRL DO TO BUILD HER FUTURE FAMILY IF SHE DOES NOT COME FROM A “GOOD FAMILY SETTING”?

I mean, my dad was an alcoholic, my parents didn’t have a marriage, and when my father wasn’t trying to kill my mother, I was literally trying to kill him! I was also homosexually raped for seven years, from 6 to 13 years of age.

But I now have an incredible stable marriage, and I’ve got four kids who would die for me! I never dreamt that that was possible in life, but one thing I did was to learn from others. I watched couples and how they relate to each other and to children. I learnt the things I could do from watching others, and I really believe I’m a better father and a better husband because of other men that I watch who have good relations with women.

NO WOMAN [NO MATTER HOW BEAUTIFUL] CAN COMPETE WITH PORN, BECAUSE PORN DEMANDS NOVELTY.

It’s not so much finding the right person, but rather being the right person. Before you think, “Who am I going to marry?”, you need to ask yourself, “Who am I? Am I a kind of person who is worth being married to?” I didn’t get married till I was 31. I think one reason I didn’t get married until I was 31 was that I wasn’t a person being worth married to until then. I had so much dysfunction in my life, and I had to work through a lot of those things before I could’ve thought about getting married. Most people think marriage will solve all your dysfunction, but almost everybody who has been married would say it enhances it.

6. WITH SO MANY MEN WATCHING PORN, WOULD YOU SAY THAT ALL THE GOOD GUYS ARE TAKEN?

One of the most sobering, serious questions I have ever asked myself is, “Who are my grandchildren going to marry?” Porn narrows the field. I say to any young lady, when you get serious about a fellow, if you think he might be the one you want to marry, in a very casual time, just casually say something like, “Oh! Do you watch porn on the Internet?” and [watch his response].

It doesn’t mean you wouldn’t marry someone like that, but if you marry someone and they stay addicted to porn, you’re throwing your life away. [It doesn’t matter] how much you think you love him, because there is no woman that can compete with porn, because porn demands novelty. No matter how beautiful you are, you [can’t compete].

So I say to young ladies, is the person willing to be free? To change? And if they are, it takes years to change. It takes three to five years to really become free from porn, and for the rest of your life that propensity is still there; it is always in your brain. I don’t have the answer to this question, but I believe God understands all these. God is not limited by people’s behaviour.

How To Resist Peer Pressure

Eunice Sng — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 04:00:00 +0000

For the longest time, I’ve struggled with being your average, typical, people-pleaser. While I may have developed my own mind as I grew older, the struggle has never gotten any easier. While I knew what I had to do, there was always a clenching at the pit of my stomach when facing confrontations of any sort. My fear of offending was great — to the extent of compromising my beliefs.

When I think about peer pressure, I think about loyalty, and how I have never wanted to be that person who exposes the cheat in a test, or the snitch who tells on the friends who made off from the canteen with unpaid candy. Isn’t peer pressure about wanting to fit in with your mates? For me, it went beyond just how I behaved, but also included my desire to accept ideologies propagated through the media or to dress in a certain way or to watch trending shows in order to be accepted by my friends. These were pressures I felt as a kid that did not dissipate as I grew older. In fact, these pressures starting morphing into a different but more insidious variant.

TAKING THE EASY WAY OUT

Nowadays, in order to be deemed socially acceptable, it’s not just about ‘doing as they do’, but ‘thinking as they think’ — we are required to support the same ideologies and social causes as everyone else in order to fit in, and if you don’t, beware. People get upset when you don’t think as they do. In fact, a couple of weeks ago, I was caught in an awkward situation with a group of friends because they were debating amongst themselves about a human rights topic and absolutely refused to agree to disagree.

In Josh McDowell’s The Beauty of Intolerance: Setting a Generation Free to Know Truth and Love, the author gave the example of a young dating couple wanting to sleep in the same room when visiting the girl’s parents. Both sides became unhappy — the parents were uncomfortable because it was a blatant disregard for their rules under their own roof, while the daughter felt that because they did not agree with her decision-making, they were rejecting not just her beliefs, but her as a person.

In moments like these, I often think to myself: wouldn’t it be easier to just ride out as many disagreements as possible with a couple of non-committal nods and grunts? I’m tempted to take the easy way out and keep silent, give a harmless little nod here and there, and hope that no one notices my lack of enthusiastic support.

REWARDED FOR COMPROMISE

While it might be terrifying to speak up, there are times where perhaps that “harmless little nod” and silence in the face of disagreement could be all you need for compromise to overflow into the other areas of your life and start gnawing at your core beliefs, shaking the very foundations of what you thought you knew. In the instance of dating, you could be averse to the idea of dating a non-believer at first. Yet after awhile, you realise how difficult it is to find a good Christian guy, and you start getting impatient. What’s more, your friends have started dating non-Christians (and they seem so happy!). Then, you start rationalising that at times, non-Christian guys are even more pleasant and moral than the Christian guys you do know. And so, it starts small — it always does. A little leeway, some casual flirting, and soon enough you’re in a committed relationship that you can’t get out of but is built on completely different values that might even belittle your own.

DOING AS ‘THEY’ DO AND THINKING AS ‘THEY’ DO GETS YOU REWARDS, WHILE BEING COUNTER-CULTURAL OFTEN COMES WITH A COST.

John Piper in his article ‘A Call to Teenagers to Be Free’ writes that the reason most teenagers stay slaves of the expectations of their peers and of the big industries that market popular fashion, music, technology, and entertainment, is because this slavery is so pleasant — and so consistently rewarded — that the possibility of doing otherwise rarely enters our minds. For example, cyberbullies get easily rewarded by ‘likes’ on their hateful comments on social media. They don’t see what they’ve done as bullying because it’s purely online, but in reality, there’s someone on the receiving end getting hurt. Teens also notice that provocative photos on social media get more ‘likes’ than more modest ones, and therefore they may feel like the only way to be cheered on and supported is to show a lot of skin. Doing as ‘they’ do and thinking as ‘they’ do gets you rewards, and being counter-cultural often comes with a cost.

FINDING YOUR FOOTING

Perhaps the reason why we succumb so easily to peer pressure is because we have sought security in shaky sand instead of the solid rock that is Christ. In his book Mentoring Paradigms: Reflections on Mentoring, Leadership, and Discipleship, Edmund Chan shares the secret to having true inner security. That is, having “Nothing to prove, nothing to lose, and nothing to hide”.

Having nothing to prove means that you have a deep security in God. You have a humility that reminds you that you really needn’t try desperately hard to prove yourself worthy because you indeed are loved and created for a greater purpose.

Having nothing to lose means to be absolutely surrendered to God and to ask Him to be Lord of your life. It is tough, as it requires you to give in to God and His purposes, not yours. In the above scenario about not finding a godly Christian man, it might mean having to wait without knowing when or if you will find one, but accepting that either way, God has the best for your life regardless of what that means.

Having nothing to hide means to walk in true repentance and not soothing our conscience by hiding or rationalising our sins.

In Jeremiah 17:9, the weeping prophet reminds us that “the heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” Self-deception is subtle and difficult to catch. Thus, above all, we are to guard our hearts, “for everything you do flows from it” (Prov 4:23).

The good news is that our God is gracious! He did not leave us without guidance on how to guard our hearts. Through His Word and by His Holy Spirit, He gives us wisdom freely. And when we inevitably stumble, He catches us and encourages us to do better. We are never truly alone in ideological or physical situations of peer pressure and compromise!

Love & Sexuality: When Am I Ready To Date?

Kallos Team — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 04:00:00 +0000

“How will I know that I am ready to start dating?”

In my (Shi Yun) opinion, it’s not so much about when to date as it is about who and how you date! Dating seems to be a most natural step to take when girl meets boy, they like each other, and then, boom! We announce on social media that we are together. However, did you know that there was no such thing as “dating” in biblical times? Family units were closely knit; parents were on the lookout for suitable spouses for their children; they would already know the families of potential candidates and saw best the kind of partners for their children.

Even though the thought of your parent choosing your spouse might be horrifying to you, there is a crucial lesson here: lean on the wisdom of the people you trust (such as your parents or church leaders) to help you assess whom, when, and how you should date.

“Dating” means different things to different people, but for me, dating should not be undertaken casually, as it is a time to assess if you and the person you are interested in are suitable to marry each other. Even if it ends with you deciding to part ways, it is not a failure if you come to a prayerful, reasonable, and kindly expressed conclusion on whether you are suitable marriage partners.

If you are ready for that, then dating is a time for you to explore the possibility of marriage with someone of the opposite sex through a healthy friendship, being accountable to God and mature Christian counsel until there is clarity that God is indeed leading both of you (or not!) on the journey toward marriage. Readiness to date, then, isn’t about passing a certain age, how much you think you love a person, or even being marriage material. It’s about having the maturity to approach dating in this way: knowing that the when is not as important as who God is leading you to, and how you can both spur each other on to love God more!

“How can I walk with my Christian friends who struggle with same-sex attraction (SSA)?”

I (Benita) thank God for your desire to walk with your Christian friends with SSA on what may be a long, arduous, and often lonely journey lasting a lifetime. Here are some thoughts from the Word and from my own experience of walking with friends who struggle with SSA: the list is not exhaustive though!

Encourage them to pursue holiness, not heterosexuality.

First Corinthians 6:9-11 are key verses to remember that all of us are sinners, washed and saved by the blood of Christ; all of us then called to holy living (1 Peter 1:15-16). But holiness is more than just about sexuality, so don’t make SSA the main or only thing. Walk with your friends as fellow Christians seeking holiness in every part of life. Being same-sex attracted doesn’t change their fundamental identity of calling as a Christian.

Be a listening ear and friend, not an eager fixer.

If they’ve allowed you to walk on this journey with them, thank God for this privilege! Resist trying to change them – that is God’s work, not yours. Have empathy for their struggles and seek to understand them. May your presence be like Christ who shared life and walked with the broken.

Pray for them regularly.

Ask the Father for them not to be “cured”, but to experience Christ’s healing presence in their struggle, for the church to have the Holy Spirit’s guidance in creating a safe environment, and for yourself to have God’s love in walking with them. Don’t stop praying!

Last but not least, talk to the friends about seeking a mature youth mentor or pastor to be accountable to. Encourage them not to carry this alone as we are one body in Christ, and they may be able to provide further support for both of you.

Dear Kallos: My Friend Was Recently Diagnosed With Anorexia; What Should I Do?

Alina Teo — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 04:00:00 +0000

My family friend was recently diagnosed with anorexia. She also has depression, struggles with anxiety, and self-harms. Her mum has cried many times because she is not trying to recover. She is a Christian, but I don’t know how to help her when she doesn’t seem to want to improve — we all are praying for her to at least try harder to recover. I hope that you can tell me what advice to give her so that I can encourage her. — Overwhelmed & Helpless

dear Overwhelmed & Helpless,

We are so sorry to hear of the pain your friend is going through. We want to affirm you in your love for your friend and wanting to be there for her. Don’t give up on her but keep at what you are doing! Your friend needs you at this time even if her actions and words do not always show it.

The conditions your friend faces do not usually go away in the short term, but with a doctor’s help, they can be managed through counselling and medication. Sometimes, when emotional pain becomes too much for us to handle, we take it out on ourselves through self-harm. I have not cut myself before, but I have had the temptation to do so. The emotional pain was so great that I felt that inflicting physical pain on myself would bring some sort of relief in a very twisted sort of way. As a friend, keep encouraging her to give the doctor a chance, reminding her that the doctor is there to make things better for her. Affirm her worth and gently encourage her to see how serious these conditions are when not dealt with. Doctors are also part of God’s way of healing us. Your constant encouragement in her life may just be the key to the turning point in this rut.

Perhaps she may also feel that no one understands what she is going through and like it is a dead end for her. Thus, she doesn’t cherish her life. Since she is also a Christian, maybe you could send her notes and texts with Bible verses to encourage her to see her worth in God. If she is unwilling to hear directly from the word of God at this time, share with her your own reflections from Scripture. You could tell her that she is beautiful, fearfully and wonderfully made; let her know that God loves her, understands what she is going through, and is walking this journey with her (Psa 139, 121; Rom 8:31–39).

Most importantly, be that friend that she can lean on when she doesn’t have the strength to carry on. Let her lean on your faith to hope for what she can’t imagine; let her lean on your belief that Jesus can and will resurrect what seems long dead.

Even though things may look bleak, know that God has not forsaken your friend in any way. He feels the pain that she feels. He is a God of comfort and unending love. He is a God who saves. Keep your trust rooted in Him as you seek to help your friend. Your friend is blessed to have such a good friend in you!

Take The Evangelism Challenge

Quek Shiwei — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 04:00:00 +0000

CHALLENGE RULES

1. Find a prayer buddy who can cover you in prayer during this challenge.

2. Write out a 5-minute testimony on how and why you became a Christian.

3. Practice sharing the gospel until you are familiar with it and confident of delivering it without notes.

4. Try to be conscious of how you can share your faith in everyday conversations.

5. Seek out one friend whom you can pray for in person, and one friend (it can be the same one) to share your personal testimony and gospel with.

6. Have courage, and have fun!

Challenger: CHARMAINE KHOO, 19

3 Fun Facts:

1. I keep my utensils in the fridge
2. My go-to game is solitaire
3. I smell my dog’s paws

INITIAL THOUGHTS

Honestly, when I saw the challenge assigned to me, I was EXTREMELY scared. The thought of evangelising is something that has always been very daunting to me. Reading through the demands of this challenge, I was also sceptical about whether I would even be able to execute it. However, I decided to see this challenge as an opportunity to share the gospel with people around me — there’s always a first time for everything!

To be frank, as I reflected about when was the last time I shared the gospel, I realised that I do not actively share the gospel. I do not consciously think about it as much as I think I should. The last time I talked about why I was a Christian was a few weeks ago over lunch with a few of my friends, where I shared what Christians believe in and how our morals and values may differ from that of other religions.

Conversations like these, and evangelism as a whole, leave me feeling awkward and uncomfortable because it can be deemed as a “touchy topic”. At times, I worry that my friends may not actually be interested in what I have to say and are just listening out of courtesy. Even though I have never encountered any negative comments from my friends when I share my faith, I still fear that I will get rejected badly or ridiculed for sharing my testimony, or that my friends would choose to distance themselves away from me.

Thinking about it deeper, I think that the root cause of all these fears could be because I lack trust in God. Ultimately, my stories and sharing can only do so much, but it is God who can truly move the heart of the pre-believers. I hope that throughout this challenge, I will be able to put my faith into action!

MY TWO WEEKS OF EVANGELISM

Throughout the challenge, I knew that I had to be more intentional in my conversations. I tried to be intentional in listening to what my friends were sharing, and when appropriate, steered conversations toward talking about God. It was not as difficult or hard to achieve as I thought. From merely listening to my friends share and brushing aside their complaints of how “sian” school is or how they find no meaning in certain aspects of their lives, I chose to dig deeper by asking them more questions and encouraging them in small ways. It made me realise that my everyday conversations can be a platform for me to evangelise and speak into my friends’ lives.

I am not gonna lie though — this challenge was definitely awkward! It was quite difficult to bring up Christ in conversations and to find the right opportunity to share my testimony. I wanted it to be natural as well. I felt pretty scared, and when I finally managed to find an opportunity to share my testimony, my mind was racing with questions! “Will she think I am weird?” “Does she feel awkward?” “Is she starting to zone out?” However, something that kept me going was knowing what God has placed on my heart for my friend. It helped me to see how the Father wanted to reach out to her and that was a huge motivation in ignoring the awkwardness and continue to talk about Christ.

When it came to praying for another friend I had, it was definitely something out of my comfort zone. This is something I’ve never done before as I would normally say a prayer for my friends when I get back home in the privacy of my room. However, I decided to ask my friend if I could pray for her in person. To my surprise, she did not reject me but agreed! I honestly felt really happy because my fears of rejection did not come true. But even if my friend had rejected me, I think that I would have been fine with it. Of course I would feel a bit embarrassed but I know that the act of offering to pray would have meant something to her.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Although both of my friends did not respond with wanting to know more about Christ, I do believe that something was planted in their hearts. As a form of follow-up from this challenge, I want to continue to have intentional conversations with both friends. For the friend that I shared my testimony with, I intend to have more of such similar conversations and hopefully through me, she will see Christ. As for the friend that I prayed for, I intend to journey with her more intentionally on her struggles she shared with me and to give her godly advice and perspective.

This challenge has certainly challenged me to take every opportunity to share about Christ. It has also helped me to see that the fears I used to have were not actually founded. As I practise bringing Christ into more of my daily conversations with my friends, I realised that the fears became less significant overtime. God has opened my eyes to see that evangelism is the responsibility of every Christian. He has encouraged me through the opportunities with both of my friends and I now know evangelism can be a part of my lifestyle!

Easy Ways To Share The Gospel

Do you struggle with talking about your faith openly and naturally? Here are some simple things you can use to share the gospel!

1. Prepare your personal testimony
1 Peter 3:15 exhorts us to “always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.” Writing your personal testimony allows you to do just that. Find tips on how to do so on The Navigators’ website: https://bit.ly/2K3ZJLT

2. Download GodTools
This handy app is all you need to share the gospel message on the go. Best of all? It’s free! One of the simple but effective ways to share the gospel story is through the Four Symbols: ♡÷? Details on how to use it and more is on the GodTools app.

3. Memorise and use One-Verse Evangelism
Share the complete gospel using Romans 6:23, “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Read all about it here: https://bit.ly/2mDNEPX

Dig Deeper: Why Do We Need To Be Part Of A Church?

Nathalie Zani — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 04:00:00 +0000

Have you met friends who say they don’t need the church because they are following Christ just fine on their own? Or perhaps you have had these thoughts or said these things yourself! Christians can recognise how wonderful Jesus is, but the church often doesn’t live up to expectations, whatever they may be. Non-Christians can sometimes get on board with the love offered by the Christian idea of God but are put off by how His followers behave. Do we need the church then? If we do, why?

People have a role in God’s plan

From the beginning, God chose to reveal Himself through humans. He started the story of humankind with Adam and Eve and didn’t abandon them after the fall (Gen 1–3); He continued on to promise to bless all people through Abraham and his family (Gen 12:1–3), and through His people (Deut 10:12–22; Matt 28:18–20; Acts 1:8). While God could have chosen to reveal Himself on His own, He has always given His people the privilege of representing Him on earth.

When Christ came, died and rose again, He offered forgiveness and the possibility of reconciliation with God to all who repent of their sins and follow Him. In turn, we now all play a part in God’s plan by pointing others to reconciliation with God through Christ (2 Cor 5:18–19). The church is therefore vital, not expendable, as we play a role in sharing the gospel with those who don’t yet know Him.

We live out the Gospel in community

It is tempting to think that since Christians belong to the global church, we therefore do not need to commit to a local church. After all, aren’t we part of the body of Christ no matter where and how often we attend a particular church? Well, no! The church has the responsibility of showing the world who God is, and to bring His reconciliation and reign to all people and creation. We can’t do that without committing to a local church community.

Jesus told His disciples, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:34–35).

The world will know Christ through the way His disciples love one another. But how can we be people who truly love each other if we refuse to commit to being in a community with each other? How can we show the steadfast, long-suffering, loving nature of God if we hop from one place to the next, always looking for something “better”? How can we care for one another if we choose to stay home alone on Sundays and listen to sermons online?

We can only live out the full gospel of Christ, the good news that He is, if we are in community, and we need to be part of the church in order to do that.

Let them know Him by our love

Our world is one of bitter competition, brokenness, self-preservation, greed, and fear, where people look out for themselves first. But if our local churches live as a family who love one another and care for one another as we are called to, imagine what the world would see!

They would see people who selflessly give of themselves even if they gain nothing from it. They would see people extending love, kindness, and forgiveness even to those who don’t deserve it. They would see a community who refuses to give up on each other even when it would be easier to walk away, and they would see a community who accepts all — the businessman, the prostitute, the schoolteacher, even the murderer — because of the Saviour who loved us and gave Himself for us (Gal 2:20). In short, they would begin to see God’s kingdom and what life in Christ looks like starting today.

We all need the church

The church is therefore first and foremost about letting God’s love for mankind be known. It is not just about coming to church on Sundays, listening to a sermon, and rushing off for lunch — it is about being with the people who belong to Christ as much as you do, loving one another, and letting the world see Christ’s love by our love. As we choose to love our brothers and sisters day after day, week after week, year after year, we will grow together into Christ-like maturity, and we will show the world who God is and step out to bring His love, redemption, and reign to all the world.

Loving Her

Jiamin Choo — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 04:00:00 +0000

“Why is it so hard to love her?”

That was my struggle growing up. Why was it that I tried my best to please my mum, yet it didn’t seem enough? That whenever I did something well, there was no “good job” or “I’m proud of you” from her, but whenever I did something wrong or was not up to her standard, I got called out for it? On the other hand, I felt guilty whenever I rolled my eyes at her, talked back to her, or walked away from her because we didn’t see things the same way or I felt falsely accused.

That was my relationship with Mummy during my younger days. It was probably due to a mix of personality differences, communication challenges, generation gap, and mismatched expectations. But it bothered me that while I proclaimed to love Christ my Lord, and hence desired to be a good witness at school and actively served in church, when it came to things at home, I wasn’t the filial daughter I wished I could be. How could I praise God on a Sunday morning, then show Mummy a gloomy face that same evening? Surely it broke His heart to see my disrespectful behaviour towards the very person He wanted me to honour.

The fact that God listed “honour your father and mother” (Exod 20:12) as one of the ten commandments for the people of Israel reflects how much that meant to God Himself. During those days, it could be that the Israelites were disrespecting their parents, despising them in their frailty or not taking care of them, and so God had to set this law to protect the elderly who were dependent on their children. Another reason could be now that Israel was set apart as God’s holy nation, they were to follow God’s design for how a family should relate to one another, and set an example for other nations. Throughout Scripture, the word “honour” often applies to God, and may suggest a relationship between the honour one gives to parents and the honour one gives to God. And if obeying our parents pleases the Lord (Col 3:20), then in choosing to honour our parents, we are honouring God too.

I can’t remember if there was an exact moment in my younger days when I chose to surrender my relationship with Mummy to God, out of a desire to honour God in all areas of my life. But I know that it took years of continually asking God for help, to help me love and honour my mum. As I grew in my walk with God, there was also a stronger desire to allow God to transform my behaviours, thoughts and speech at home, so that Christ would truly be Lord over my whole life, including my relationship with Mummy.

I’m still learning what it means to honour Mummy. To honour her is to accept the person that she is, and not trying to change her into the ideal mum I want her to be. To honour her is to cherish her, speak with her patiently, and accompany her to the doctor as she grows older and may not see or hear as clearly as before. To honour her is to be thankful for her. She brought my siblings and me up single-handedly after Papa passed away when I was 13. She churns out pineapple tarts every Lunar New Year to bless relatives and friends. She’s unashamed of the gospel and shares it excitedly with those she meets. She loves me so much that she let me go into missions. She’s also a daughter of the Most High God and a precious follower of Jesus. Most importantly, she’s my mum and I love her.

PRAYER
Heavenly Father, thank You for the gift of family. Although relationships at home can be challenging at times, help us choose to honour our parents and one another, that our actions will honour You too. Amen.

REFLECTION TIME
1. What are three things your parents have done which you are thankful for?
2. Think about how you can honour your parents this week.
3. If you are estranged from your parents or have been abused by them, how do you think you can continue to honour them?

DELVE DEEPER
Read and reflect on these passages on “Honouring Parents”:
o Proverbs 23:22
o Mark 7:6-13
o 1 Timothy 5:1-4

HANDLES
As you read the Bible, consider reading the particular story or chapter in light of the cross and empty tomb of Jesus. You’ll gain fresh perspectives as you see how Christ’s life, death and resurrection point us toward our eternal hope in Him, and spur us on in this journey of faith.

Christine Caine

Quek Shiwei — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 04:00:00 +0000

FOUNDER OF A21

ADVOCATE FOR THE ABOLISHMENT OF MODERN DAY SLAVERY IN THE 21ST CENTURY

“Be the change you want to see.” As cheesy as it may sound, I believe that taking a stand for something shouldn’t be passive. 2015 was the year that I started to research more about the human trafficking trade — an issue that God was gripping my heart about. Random searches on Google led me to one woman that gave me a glimpse of what standing for freedom really looks like. To this day, Christine Caine continues to inspire me with her heart and her hands in the slavery trade.

In 2007, Christine came across multiple posters of missing young women in the Greek airport. She was shocked at how many there were and soon realised that these young women were human trafficking victims. She felt compelled to do something about the situation, and thus, A21 was birthed.

With the aim of abolishing modern-day slavery in the 21st Century, Christine and her husband Nick are determined to bring change to the current reality of the slave trade by raising awareness of and preventing human trafficking, taking legal action against perpetrators, and providing shelter and rehabilitation for rescued survivors. Its operational strategy aims to reach, rescue, and restore every victim that comes its way. With 14 offices in 12 countries today, this dynamic duo has played a major role in changing the slavery game.

What is not so well-known about Christine is that while she is now an advocate of freedom, she was once trapped as a victim too. Adopted and raised in New South Wales, Australia, she was unfortunately sexually abused by several men. Her best attempts to tell someone that could have intervened were in vain, leading her to bury her traumatic experience and walk in shame. In addition, the realisation that she was abandoned by her biological parents added to her shame. As someone well-acquainted with exploitation and abuse, Christine’s decision to confront her past and help others do the same is all the more inspiring as she fights for each victim to walk in freedom.

In 2017, a friend and I participated in a worldwide A21 campaign called “Walk for Freedom”. Along with 50 other Singaporeans, we walked from Stadium to the Esplanade, giving out yers with information on human trafficking to curious passers-by and encouraging conversation about the issue. That was the first time that my conviction about a social cause drove me to action, and strengthened my conviction that each of us have a part to play in the body of Christ — no contribution is too small or in vain!

I’M LIVING PROOF THAT YOU CAN START BAD AND FINISH GOOD. YOU CAN HAVE A LIFE BEYOND YOUR PAST.

If, like Christine, your heart is convicted about a particular cause, I do urge you not to silence or dismiss it. If you feel that you have nothing to give or your past is not something you are proud of, I would like to encourage you with Christine’s journey of hope and restoration.

In fact, she recounts, “My birth certificate doesn’t have a name on it. I’m an unwanted kid, second-generation migrant, marginalised. I think I’m living proof that you can start bad and finish good. You can have a life beyond your past. Now He’s using me to help rescue others.”

And she is living that out, one girl at a time through A21. You can too.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

1. Have you ever felt like Christine, stuck in shame because of things that have happened to you? Bring them to the Lord in prayer for Him to heal and restore you wholly.

2. When you hear of young women who are in captivity, how do you feel? Do you merely acknowledge those facts and move past them? Ask God to stir in your heart a desire to pray for their freedom and for them to know Him one day.

3. If you have been inspired by Christine Caine’s story, purchase a copy of her latest book, Undaunted: Daring To Do What God Calls You to Do.

What can I do?

Participate
Worldwide campaigns you can be a part of:
– Walk for Freedom: a global fundraising and awareness event
– Can You See Me?: a campaign to equip the general public to recognise indicators of human trafficking

Give
Choose between a one- time or monthly donation. Each amount corresponds to a way you’re helping trafficking victims, e.g. USD$30 provides a survivor with essential toiletries when they arrive at A21!

Fundraise
Form your own team, join current fundraisers, or create your own personal fundraising page.
For more information about the above options, head over to https://www.a21.org/

Breast Ironing In The UK

Isabel Phua — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 04:00:00 +0000

STATISTICS

ESTIMATED 1,000 VICTIMS OF BREAST IRONING IN THE UK
(SOURCE: CAME WOMEN AND GIRLS DEVELOPMENT ORGANISATION)

INCLUDES PRE-TEEN GIRLS ACROSS THE UK

ESTIMATED 3.8 MILLION VICTIMS AROUND THE WORLD

WHAT IS IT?

Breast ironing, also known as breast flattening, involves pounding, massaging, or burning a young girl’s breasts using heated objects like stones and hammers with the aim of stopping her breasts from developing. In many cases, the girl’s breasts are wrapped tightly with a bandage.

WHY DOES IT HAPPEN?

Breast ironing is a form of gender-based violence. Although it is deemed as a cultural practice, human rights organisations call it gender-based child abuse. It is done with good intentions from family members, often mothers or grandmothers, as they believe that as a girl enters puberty and her chest develops, she is prone to sexual harassment, rape or early pregnancies. Thus, to protect the girls from unwanted sexual advances, they enforce breast ironing to make their daughters less attractive. In some cases, girls have chosen to “iron” their own breasts.

WHAT ARE THE RISKS?

The effects of breast ironing are dire. Victims are affected socially and psychologically, often feeling ashamed of their bodies, becoming withdrawn and depressed. Physically, they are left with scars which can lead to infection, and breast tissues can be damaged. In some cases, their breasts can completely disappear. These effects are detrimental for the girls later in life when they have children; many victims of breast ironing have trouble producing milk and breastfeeding when they do have children.

WHY IS IT HAPPENING IN THE UK?

Although it is most commonly practiced across Africa, there has been a rise of breast ironing victims in the UK. Many of the African communities in the UK today come from former British colonies and African countries such as Nigeria, South Africa, Kenya, and Zimbabwe.

Community workers estimate at least 1,000 victims across the UK, but human rights organisations like Freedom Charity UK believe that the figures are under-reported due to the secrecy of the abuse and the family relationship between the perpetrator and the victim. In the UK, there is also no specific law against breast ironing and there has not been any prosecution for carrying it out. However, there are laws related to common assault, child cruelty and bodily harm, that perpetrators can be prosecuted under.

WHAT NOW:
Think:
Do you think this can be accepted as a cultural norm or should it be seen as abuse? Why?

Pray:
For the victims of breast ironing; that they will encounter God’s restorative love, know that they are accepted, and believe they are fearfully and wonderfully made by our Creator God.