Issue 35 – Kallos

Take The Prayer Challenge

Quek Shiwei — Tue, 24 Mar 2020 04:00:00 +0000

CHALLENGE RULES

1. Make prayer part of your daily routine for two weeks.

2. For the first week, start with five minutes. Add two minutes a day till you hit 15 minutes that week.

3. In the second week, challenge yourself to add three minutes a day till you hit 30 minutes a day!

Challenger: JOCELYN TAN, 17

3 Fun Facts:

1. I only order pearl milk tea from bubble tea shops
2. I love illustrated works
3. I love anything artsy

INITIAL THOUGHTS

When I received the challenge, I was a little worried that I would not be able to complete it. Also, I have school every day, and some days, I’m out the whole day. Where was I going to find the time to pray? However, despite my worries, I also felt excited to challenge myself to make prayer part of my daily life and to see what God wants to place on my heart to pray for.

When I think of prayer, sometimes I struggle with what to pray for or how to even start! What better way to learn about prayer than from Jesus Himself and how He prayed using the Lord’s Prayer (Matt 6:9-13)?

The word “hallowed” means holy. I always thought that it meant to lift up God’s name and glorify Him but I realised that there was so much more to it. When we begin our prayers with “hallowed be your name”, we are proclaiming that God’s word be glorified, His commandments be obeyed, and His name be glorified. It reminds us to trust God in what we are praying for, and let things that we are praying for come from a heart of obedience. For me, this declaration taught me to trust in God no matter what His answer to my prayers might be. Even if the answers are not what I desire for, I was challenged to trust that He knows better than I do and His plans for me are good.

Also, there is a reason why Jesus teaches us to pray for “our daily bread”. It is to signify that prayer is a daily thing and that He will give me what I need for each day. It is so comforting to know that God already knows what I need before I even ask. However, He still wants me to come before Him because He longs for me, His child, to converse with Him.

Something I feel that God is impressing on my heart to pray about in this two-week challenge is for my community in school. In particular, I feel led to pray for my school to be a place where the character of Jesus is shown. Instead of it being a place where foul and coarse language is really common, it will be a place that is filled with love and compassion instead.

THE CHALLENGE

Week 1
Even before I could embark on the prayer challenge, I was struggling to step away from what I was busy with and spend time meditating on the Word and prayer. As school submissions were piling up, my mind was constantly on my work and I was very easily distracted. Through the week of meditating on the Lord’s Prayer, I felt that God was gently reminding me that I have been neglecting my time with Him. I was also constantly worried about my assignments. But I was reminded of Matthew 6:11, which says, “Give us today our daily bread”; it was a reminder to me that God is my provider in everything. I was worried and striving to achieve great results and had forgotten my #1 priority which is spending time with Him. I had to learn how to pray that I would not give in to worries and distractions easily. I also prayed for my heart to be realigned.

On the first day of praying for five minutes, it was pretty easy as the duration was short. I read Matthew 6:9-13 and prayed a short prayer. The next couple of days were manageable as well. It was on the sixth day where I had to pray for 15 minutes that I felt challenged. I remembered that there were moments where I didn’t know what to pray about! My mind was blank. It was hard to concentrate and not let my thoughts drift. The seventh day also required me to pray for 15 minutes. I decided to start my prayer session with a short prayer first that I would not get distracted and for God to open my eyes and heart to Him. I went on to pray for the Holy Spirit to also be with me and guide me as I prayed for my school community.

Week 2
In the midst of submissions week, I frequently heard my friends talk about how their projects were going. Sadly, many were complaining about their group mates. As I listened to them, I confess that sometimes I was unsure of what to say. I wanted to be an understanding friend and listen to their struggles. But on the other hand, in my attempts to be understanding, it was easy to be a part of joining the conversations that were in actuality gossip sessions. Deep down, I knew that such conversations would only spark more frustration and conflict towards the targeted person. This reaffirmed why God wanted me to pray for my school community!

This week, the duration for prayer each day increased gradually from 15 minutes to 30 minutes. Strangely enough, I felt that the depth of my prayer session increased too! It was not as difficult as I thought it would be. With more time, I did not have to rush. I could meditate on the Word first before beginning to pray. 30 minutes in prayer was not as difficult as I thought it might have been! With whatever that happened with my friends this week, I was compelled to pray for my friends and for God to allow my speech to bring life instead of tearing people down.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Throughout these two weeks of meditation and prayer, there were definitely many moments where I struggled with tiredness, stress from school work and distractions. However, I’ve learnt to love and prioritise prayer. I now believe that prayer is important in deepening my relationship with God. It is a form of communication between God and me and communication is so important in any relationship! My initial fears at the beginning of the two-week challenge were unfounded.

I was actually able to pray for 30 minutes daily if I chose to. All I just needed to do is to stop giving myself excuses, find a quiet corner away from distractions, meditate on the Word and pray. It is easier said than done but it is not impossible!

Want to take the prayer challenge?

If you are unsure of why and how to meditate on the word of God, check out:
5 Steps to Meditating on the Bible: https://tinyurl.com/y6edzo68

If you are don’t know what to pray for, check out:
8 Keys to Strengthening Your Prayer Life: https://tinyurl.com/y5pnnbnb
The Prayer Hand: https://tinyurl.com/y6aypksv

Persecuted, But Not Abandoned

Jiamin Choo — Thu, 14 Nov 2019 04:06:00 +0000

In my role as Missions Coordinator at Operation Mobilisation (OM), one of the things I enjoy most is giving orientation to the new recruits joining OM’s ship ministry. Since 1970, OM’s four ships have visited over 150 countries, welcoming over 47 million visitors onboard their floating book fairs which offer quality educational and Christian literature. The crew members, all of whom are Jesus followers, come from over 50 countries and commit months or years to work without a salary. Their desire is to share knowledge, help, and hope with the nations.

As I had spent some years serving on OM’s second ship Doulos, there are many stories to share with those joining the ship ministry, so that they can be better prepared. I tell them about the different work departments onboard, cross-cultural do’s and don’ts, how to survive seasickness (and homesickness), the variety of onshore programmes in partnership with churches, and the joy of witnessing people receive Christ in the various ports we visit.

But after the light-hearted chats about ship life and ministry, I remind them that in deciding to join God’s mission, they need to count the cost as there are risks involved. Serving onboard a ship means exposure to hurricanes, storms, and pirate-infested waters. Also, one does not choose which ports of call to visit, but will have to follow wherever the ship sails to.

“But is it safe?” a missions participant once asked. I thought about the tragic incident that happened to Doulos in August 1991.

Doulos was docked in Zamboanga, Philippines. The crew members organised a big event at the ferry terminal where over 1,000 locals gathered for an evening of songs and dances, followed by a message about Christ. Backstage, crew members were praying as the speaker gave the closing invitation, when suddenly a grenade was thrown backstage and exploded. Two 19-year-old crew members Sofia (Sweden) and Karen (New Zealand) died on the spot, with many others injured. At the hospital, the injured crew members sang, and took turns to read their favourite Bible passages aloud to encourage one another. Even though the attackers were plotting evil, they could not stop God’s work. A number of locals gave their lives to Jesus. Doulos continued to sail. Karen’s sister joined the ship to complete the remainder of Karen’s commitment.

The call to follow Jesus isn’t safe, but it is the way, the truth and the life. In Paul and Timothy’s letter to the church in Corinth, they shared about the hardships they endured for the sake of Christ. They were “hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down; but not destroyed” (2 Cor 4:8–9). Even though they suffered much, they remained steadfast to place their hope in God’s promise, “Therefore we do not lose heart … For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all” (2 Cor 4:17–18).

This is the same hope that we can hold on to. No matter how hard things may get because of our commitment to follow Jesus, it is worth it because just as we share in Jesus’ suffering, we also share in His resurrection and glory. If you are facing difficulties at home, school or work because of your belief in Jesus, take heart and don’t give up on your faith. May the Lord give you the courage and strength to be a shining light wherever you are, that He will draw people into His kingdom through your witness.

PRAYER
Dear God, I ask for Your strength and mercy for my brothers- and sisters-in-Christ who are persecuted for their faith. Help them not to lose hope, but to keep trusting You no matter how hard their situations are. Amen.

REFLECTION TIME
1. Think about a time when you were persecuted for your belief in Jesus. What happened and how did it affect your relationship with God?
2. To what extent are you prepared to suffer for the sake of Christ?

DELVE DEEPER
Read and reflect on these passages on “Hope in the midst of persecution”:
o Daniel 3:8-30
o Matthew 5:10-12
o 1 Peter 1:3-9

HANDLES
Consider using a devotional book or app along with your Bible reading. A devotional usually selects one or two Bible verses to meditate on, and can be a helpful tool to guide you in the application of God’s Word.

Spotlight: Chan See Ting’s Story On Life With Alopecia

Kallos Team — Tue, 24 Sep 2019 04:00:00 +0000

Before interviewing See Ting, I had only heard of alopecia (an autoimmune disorder that leads to unexpected hair loss) briefly but never met anyone with it. What if I said something offensive? What if my tone was not friendly enough? Thankfully, See Ting’s bubbly personality and down-to-earth demeanour caused all my what-ifs to dissipate. She was a well of wisdom and her maturity was evident. In the hour we had together, hearing See Ting’s story moved and inspired me greatly. Her battle with alopecia even compelled her to start Singapore’s first support group for those who struggle with the same condition. Physical losses are transient and eternity is what matters — that’s what See Ting’s story speaks volumes of.

When did you first realise something was wrong that caused you to seek medical help?

6 July 2013. I was getting my hair done at a salon for my ex-boyfriend’s sister’s wedding and the stylist said that there was a bald spot on my head. It was very tiny, like a fifty cent coin.

Over the next few weeks, I started to lose more hair and I noticed more bald spots. By August, I panicked and scheduled a dermatologist appointment at a hospital. The doctors couldn’t diagnose it as alopecia at first, but in December, the doctors officially confirmed it as alopecia.

I was desperate for a solution and decided to get steroid treatment even though it has plenty of side effects and doesn’t promise a cure. It’s like putting a plaster over a wound. I was 20; it was the age where looks were everything. There’s peer pressure and I thought, “Let’s get this over and done with.”

In the latter half of 2013, I went for two separate sessions of steroid jabs. They inject a syringe at the infected area, pull it out, and just do it repeatedly. The first time I did it, I had over ten jabs. The second time was 30-plus jabs. My hair continued to fall out. Naturally, my confidence was shaken and I doubted if it was going to work. But did I have any other choice? I remember that after the second session, I broke down at the hospital corridor bawling and my mum was hugging me and crying.

When you were diagnosed with alopecia, what was your first thought?

My first thought was, “I will probably get over it soon. It’s one of those things that will pass.” But when it didn’t pass, that was when I thought, “I can’t believe this is happening”. At the beginning, there was despair but there was still some kind of hope that God would do some miraculous healing. The first few times when I prayed for healing, I had hope that God would heal me. But every time I was left unhealed, it was a blow to my faith.

This is a God that I believe in and trust in, and yet it seemed He was saying that, “I am the healer, but I choose not to heal you for your good.” I was left wondering how this could be for my good. Couldn’t He see that I was already so miserable? To be very frank, I’ve wrestled with this issue for the last five years. Even if He doesn’t heal me, He is still good. It’s like Paul — he had a thorn in the flesh (2 Cor 12:7–8). And three times he begged the Lord to take it away but the Lord didn’t. And that was how he learnt that God’s grace is sufficient in our weakness (2 Cor 12:9). That was something I struggled with and had to learn over and over again.

What was the most unhelpful thing someone said to you when she found out about your diagnosis?

When some of my close friends asked about the condition, they would comment, So it’s just hair loss, ah? I didn’t have the words then to explain that it’s not “just” hair loss. It isn’t just a physical loss but a loss of identity as well. Without my hair, I struggled with what being a woman meant. I hadn’t realised that I’d pegged so much of my physical outlook to my femininity and identity. It was a sobering moment and something I had to wrestle with and find out what it really meant to be a woman.

Why did losing your hair lead to a loss of identity?

During my episode with alopecia, I was still together with my ex-boyfriend. We eventually split up as there were issues we could not overcome. Subsequently, I turned towards indulging myself in sexual pleasures. When a man wanted me physically, I felt like it was a “privilege”. It’s a strong word to use but I really thought it was a privilege that somebody would find me attractive and want me sexually despite my condition. I slept around with men for a few years. One day, a trusted mentor and friend said, “If you continue like this, you will come to a point where you sleep with a married man or even fathers. Do you really want that?” That really hit me so hard. I wanted to be fully seen and fully loved. But I was actually looking for intimacy in the wrong places. It was at odds with my Christian faith. To break out of cycles like that, God will send people when you are ready. My biggest blessing was that I had people who journeyed with me and held me to high standards. Even when I slipped up, they bore no judgement at all. It helped me see that this is how God sees me as well. And out of that gratitude, I chose to leave behind that lifestyle.

IT ISN'T JUST A PHYSICAL LOSS BUT A LOSS OF IDENTITY AS WELL. WITHOUT MY HAIR, I STRUGGLED WITH WHAT BEING A WOMAN MEANT.

How did you find the courage to stop wearing your wig?

I was doing a closed-door training programme about confronting one’s deepest fears and issues. For the first time, I took off my wig in front of people that weren’t my family. I didn’t dare to look anyone in the eye. I was so afraid of the judgement. I was looking at the ceiling with tears streaming down my face whilst I shared my story. But I was amazed when people came up to hug me after my sharing. That was when healing really began. It wasn’t the judgement of, Oh my gosh, you are ugly or unsightly, but people saw vulnerability, courage and beauty.

God also prompted me to share about this issue publicly. He was challenging me to step into the waters; would I be willing to trust Him with the public? So, on a Tuesday night, I typed out a post about my condition, held my phone between my palms and prayed before I posted it. I was shocked at how fast it went viral. That night itself, there were hundreds of shares. The next morning, Mothership had already published it. The Straits Times called. All these new opportunities just surfaced. It was really quite bizarre because I didn’t think my story was particularly powerful. But in that moment I thought to myself, “This is really God’s grace. God really wanted this to be told.” My job is to be faithful and tell that story as long as one person needs to hear it.

If you could change your story and never have gotten alopecia, would you?

No, really. I did consider this before — how good life would be if I didn’t have alopecia, but that’s just in my myopic worldview that it might seem “good”. I have gradually come to believe that God is sovereign. I am a first-generation Christian, and when I first came to the faith, my mum shouted at me in public and threw away my Bible. To see her come to faith just before I had alopecia and now saying, “I know I cannot take care of you forever. But I know there’s God and He will,” I have cried and marvelled at how God orchestrated this.

I might have been “prettier” and more “normal” but I didn’t like myself a lot then as I was deeply insecure. But now, I have grown in character, am closer in my walk with God and have the opportunity to speak of His goodness.

I don’t think I will ever wish for alopecia to not have happened.

A few days before print, See Ting was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer. While the journey is ongoing, here are some quick thoughts she wanted to share with us:

I’m at peace. Not because I am without fear, but because I know who holds my tomorrow. My God is faithful beyond measure, and I trust Him. My fear doesn’t stand a chance when I stand in His love.

I’m grateful. To know that so many people are standing with me gives me so much strength. Words really don’t do justice at all.

I’m excited. I know this is a spiritual war more than it is a physical one. And I love seeing fellow believers coming together to pray with and for me. The beauty of the Church astounds me. And my Father is saying, “My child, I have only just started.” I love watching Him create beauty from ruins and making the impossible possible. It’s His specialty. I hope through this journey more people will see and know Him like I do.

Dare To Hope Again

Quek Shi Yun — Tue, 24 Sep 2019 04:00:00 +0000

“Why is this happening to me? What did I do wrong? Is this some kind of punishment, God?”

As I curled up in bed with a growing mountain of tissues beside me, I sobbed out these questions, but got no answers.

Earlier that morning, my husband and I had been so excited to finally see our baby for the first time through an ultrasound. As the gynaecologist conducted the ultrasound scan, our hearts sank as her face scrunched up into a frown and she delivered crushing news that we never thought we’d hear. There was no heartbeat to be found. The baby had stopped growing two weeks ago and, sorry, but there will be no baby to hold and love at the end of the year. We left the clinic in a daze and took a taxi home, where I proceeded to go straight into my bedroom and cry for the rest of the day.

FINDING HOPE WHEN ALL SEEMS LOST

Have you ever been in a situation where you felt the dark grip of despair? When I was ten and was being severely bullied in school, I felt like I had reached the furthest extent of hopelessness. When I was 18 and went through a season of debilitating anxiety and insomnia, I thought that it couldn’t get any worse than this. And at 27, the loss of what should have been my firstborn pushed me deep into the depths of distress like I had never experienced before.

And yet, strangely, there was a peace in me that I could not understand. Throughout history, saints in the faith have expressed deep trust and continual hope in God even through the worst situations. Horatio Spafford famously wrote the song “It Is Well with My Soul” after experiencing the devastating loss of his four daughters in a tragic shipwreck. Richard Wurmbrand, a pastor tortured and imprisoned for his faith in communist Romania declared, “We cannot understand God’s ways, but we know from His word that He is prompted by love.”

What is it that enables the Christian to proclaim such faith in Christ, and to dare to hope again when there really doesn’t seem to be a reason to?

OUR REASON FOR UNENDING HOPE

During my time of grief and mourning, there were two things that kept me afloat:

Knowing God’s character has not changed

As a teen girl, I watched one of my friends lose a parent to cancer, and seeing him hold fast to his faith baffled me! How could he not question God’s goodness after such a devastating loss?

As I went through my own personal tragedy, that incident came back to mind, and this time, I knew the answer: the God I had worshipped for all these years hadn’t changed even though my circumstances had. How many times had I sung, “God is so good, He’s so good to me”? This time, through sobs, a stuffy nose and red swollen eyes, it was more difficult to sing, but no less true. Nothing that could happen to me would change God and His character as known through Jesus Christ (Heb 13:8). He is good, even when what was happening to me didn’t feel good.

NOTHING THAT COULD HAPPEN TO ME WOULD CHANGE GOD AND HIS CHARACTER... GOD IS GOOD, EVEN WHEN WHAT WAS HAPPENING TO ME DIDN'T FEEL GOOD.

The Holy Spirit’s empowerment

A few days after the miscarriage, I wrote this in my journal:

“It is so painful, God. It is painful and difficult to trust you when the grief is so real and questions abound, unanswered. I’m scared of what trusting You means. If it means going through this again and again, I don’t know what I’ll do. It’s odd how even while there is a desire for answers, what’s overwhelmingly the case for me is just the knowledge that You are still good to us. I don’t know why, but I know God is good.”

Even now, reading my own words, it surprises me that I had the ability to say that. Was it my strong faith or unshakeable conviction in Christ that made me write those words? Far from it! Left on my own, I would have surely sunk into despair and turned away from the “heartless God” who didn’t save my child. But the Holy Spirit worked in me, calling to remembrance everything I have known about God (John 14:26), and that empowered me to say God is not heartless, but a loving God who knows what I need and gives it freely.

GETTING THROUGH THE DARKNESS

Understanding and learning these lessons did not come easy. As much as I knew the truth of God’s Word, there were many times when I struggled to fully believe in it. Maybe you’re going through a similar valley of distress — a struggle with mental health issues, a family member battling sickness, losing a loved one, witnessing a prolonged disagreement within your family — and you feel like you no longer have the ability to place your hope in God again. Here are some things I would strongly encourage you to do:

Meditate on Scripture

Each day, meditating on certain Bible verses and countless others that would come to mind gave me immense comfort. When I felt abandoned, I remembered Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” When I felt angry at my loss, I recalled the promise in Revelation 21:4, “‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Each verse soothed my aching heart and gave me confidence in God’s love for me. If you’re going through a trial yourself, spend time in God’s Word and let Him speak through it!

Be honest with God and yourself

The months after the miscarriage were long and hard. In that pit, questions emerged that I didn’t even dare to articulate to anyone for a while.

Do you really love me, God? If You do all things for my good, what is this? How can this be good? Do You even care? Why have You left me to face this alone?

Tears would stream down my face as I sat on my sofa pondering over these questions, battling anger, sorrow and guilt at even questioning God at all. When I shared this with a friend, she said, “God is big enough to handle all of these doubts. You can tell Him. He’s not afraid of your questions.”

That knowledge was liberating for me. The worst thing you can do is to ignore your doubts and questions, letting it cause bitterness and anger that crushes your trust in God. Be honest with God. He can handle it.

Embrace community

When you’re going through a tough time, it is tempting to want to be alone, away from well-meaning friends who give you pitying looks or, worse, say insensitive things that belittle what you’re going through. Sometimes, it’s easier to keep to yourself than to try to explain your situation to people who have never been through it and can never understand. However, the Bible teaches us to live in fellowship (Heb 10:24–25), and to bear each other’s burdens (Gal 6:2). Don’t struggle alone! Let the church bear your burdens and walk the journey with you.

It’s been over a year and a half since our loss, and truth be told, I don’t think it is something we will fully get over, not even when we finally have children. Yet I’ve dared to hope again, fully believing Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 4, which reminds me that all trials are merely “light momentary affliction … preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal” (ESV). I look forward to the day that we live with Christ in eternity, where these moments of hopelessness will no longer taunt us, but can be seen for what it is — “light affliction” that prepared us to be with Christ forevermore.

Dig Deeper: Is Abortion Always Wrong?

Kallos Team — Tue, 24 Sep 2019 04:00:00 +0000

What is a life?

Abortion is a heavily debated topic. “Pro-choice” advocates call for the decriminalisation of abortion, believing that women ought to have full control over their own bodies. “Pro-life” advocates call for the abolishment of abortion, believing that abortion is murder, no matter when or why it takes place. The debate rages on. For a Christian who lives in a country where access to abortion is legal and relatively easy, how should we engage with this issue?

At the heart of the abortion debate lies this question — when does human life begin? Almost everyone would agree that taking an innocent human life is wrong, so this definition is of utmost importance. Most agree that, at the minimum, when the child is viable (able to live) outside the womb at 24 weeks, it is without a doubt a life. This is reflected in the laws of most countries which make an abortion illegal from 24 weeks after conception. Others say that at the point of conception, the child already has potential for life and, therefore, that’s when human life begins. Still others look to the presence of a heartbeat, the capacity of the foetus to sense pain, or the forming of vital organs as a sign of “human-ness”. So, which is it?

Psalm 139:13, Isaiah 44:24 and Jeremiah 1:5 are three enduring verses that describe human life as God’s handiwork that begins in the womb, which would mean right when we are conceived. Scripture teaches us that all children, whether born or unborn, owe their existence to and are cherished by God. So, as long as we are aware of life growing within the womb, we are to be thankful for and cherish it — just as we would any other human being.

Can abortion be a better choice for the child?

The reasons for a mother’s decision to abort her child can seem justifiable. If the pregnancy is unplanned, isn’t it more responsible to abort the child so that they don’t have to struggle under financial hardships or perhaps the emotional difficulties of a single-parent family? What if tests have revealed that the child has Down syndrome, or some deformity or illness that will cause the child much pain in life or even a shortened lifespan? Is it not more merciful to abort the child instead of bringing them into the world to suffer?

We must never dismiss the terrible medical issues and personal ordeals that too many expectant mothers have had to face. But we must also remember that as compelling as these arguments might seem, if we do believe that an unborn child is a God-given life, then the choice to abort the child is, in a way, playing God. Instead of caring for them to the best of our abilities, we decide that aborting them is better than letting them live and suffer, although the suffering we expect is often purely based on possibilities and potential. But how can anyone predict exactly what will come of a life?

Isn’t abortion about empowering women?

Abortion has been labelled a form of female empowerment. Having access to abortion is seen as a way for women to have control over their bodies and their lives, especially if they are not ready for a child or, in cases of rape, did not even choose to have the child to begin with.

Again, we must never turn away from the challenges faced by women and girls around the world. Teenage pregnancy and sexual assault are harsh realities to be addressed and not ignored. But defining the argument for abortion solely in terms of women’s rights force a choice between the mother or the child. It denies a right to life for the unborn child. Yet, demanding for the unborn child’s rights over the mother’s is also unsatisfactory, especially when she may have suffered through trauma like incest. In extreme cases, the decision can even be between saving the mother’s life or the child’s.

At the end of the day, framing the abortion debate as either being for or against women ignores a fundamental reality: there are no real ‘winners’ when it comes to abortion, and it is not a zero-sum game. Instead of prioritising whose rights should be valued over the other’s, we should see the people behind the debate, both the mother and the child, and consider how God values them both.

So how should we respond?

Abortion is not something that God promotes, and neither should Christians. However, we must remember that women who choose to abort their children are not heartless, and many make the painful and difficult decision of abortion with the view that they are not be able to provide the care the child needs and deserves. We should not blindly accuse them of being selfish or uncaring.

As we seek to understand the way that God sees and loves all of us, we should have compassion for those who are wrestling with this issue or who have gone through an abortion. We can share how God’s amazing grace is here for us in Jesus. Rather than imposing our convictions on those who disagree with us to shame and guilt them into aligning with us or shutting up, let us heed the words of 1 Peter 3:15 to always be ready to give an answer for our beliefs, but to do so with gentleness and respect, allowing the Holy Spirit to convict hearts in the way that we can never do.

For stories of hope, read and watch more at The Heartbeat Project: http://heartbeatproject.sg/

If you know someone who is facing an unplanned pregnancy and needs support, you can contact the Pregnancy Crisis Service any time at 6339 9770. Visit their website for more information: http://pregnancycrisis.sg/

So Much For My Happy Ending

Benita Lim — Tue, 24 Sep 2019 04:00:00 +0000

A man in a leather jacket races down the street on the latest sports bike. He zooms to the front of a large office building, where two rows of office workers await. As he pulls on his helmet, everything around slows down as his chiselled jawline emerges, revealing a dashing young man with a piercing gaze. One of the office workers hurriedly takes his helmet whilst the rest bow to greet him as he strides into the building, casually flipping his tousled hair which somehow falls into place perfectly. Suddenly, a klutzy, plain-looking office girl late for her first day of work runs into him from behind and pushes him aside. Everyone is mortified as the girl is unapologetic, and even scolds him for hogging the walkway.

We all know how the storyline unfolds — although they start out hating each other’s guts, their paths somehow always cross and they start to see each other differently. After overcoming obstacles such as opposition from family, maybe some dangerous thugs employed by jealous rivals, and dealing with their own insecurities and crazy exes, the leading man and lady finally get together in the last episode of the series.

These Korean dramas full of passion and romance depict a fantasy that we could only wish was our reality, so when the news of the Song-Song couple first broke, many were so excited that the leading couple of the K-drama world were dating in real life and were even going to get married! How much more fantastic could this real-life fantasy get? If the Song-Song couple could experience this for real, then perhaps … it could happen for me?

But it all came crashing down after just 20 months. The Song-Song couple called off the marriage of the century. The official statement vaguely stated that it was due to “personality differences” — isn’t it ironic that in K-dramas, the very formula of success for couples to, well, couple, precisely involves the friction between unlikely personalities and paths to cause sparks to fly?

In recent times, numerous celebrities and idols have been letting their fans down. Ariana Grande couldn’t honour her engagement with Pete Davidson; Andy Hui was caught on camera cheating on his wife, Sammi Cheng; Seungri of Big Bang among other Korean celebrities have damaged the lives of women around them. Sadly, even the church is not exempt, with sex scandals rocking large churches in the United States. Recently, Joshua Harris, a famous author of one of the most influential modern-day books on dating, announced his divorce from his wife, Shannon, and departure from the Christian faith — a shock to many who have sat under his teaching.

You may have found it difficult to believe this relentless news: How can this be true? Could it just be the paparazzi trying to get more views by making up fake news? You may have felt confused: If such a perfect couple cannot sustain their marriage, what hope is there for me in the future? Perhaps you even felt angry: How could people with such influence have no regard for their followers? Don’t they know that people look up to them and the way they live their lives?

IF THE SONG-SONG COUPLE COULD EXPERIENCE THIS FOR REAL, THEN PERHAPS... IT COULD HAPPEN FOR ME?

OUR RESPONSE

So, how should we respond? Should we be utterly disappointed, and shame them on social media? Should we make excuses for their actions, or blame conspirators for making up the situation?

Whether it’s the shiny and polished Korean entertainment industry being tarnished by top stars and moguls being accused and charged for drug use, sexual assault and exploitation, or a relationship ruined by infidelity, we should not hesitate to acknowledge the wrong they may have done. It’s not okay for beautiful idols or celebrities to abuse drugs or commit sexual abuse. It’s not okay for capable people in positions of power to harm others. But let us not be quick to shame the fallen. We are not more righteous than them, for all of us are sinful (Rom 3:23) — we all face struggles and stumble whilst trying to live in a fallen world, and being a celebrity is no different.

According to the head of the Seoul Addiction Institute of Psychology, because so much of their security is dependent on their popularity, many celebrities have turned to sex and drugs to cope in their struggles for success, which is often a lonely road. Before we condemn them, let us extend grace to those who stumble, just as we want to receive grace when we sin.

On the other hand, our anger and disappointment toward their failures could instead be telling us more about ourselves.

The crushing of our ideals perhaps reveals what we really desire deep inside: Happiness and perfection. To have that perfect prince who treats you like a princess and live happily ever after with. To have that picture-perfect Insta life with a community that adores and supports you. Or even living out your Christian faith with perfect conviction, meeting the standards of the faith you’ve set for yourself.

Maybe we followed and admired these celebrities and church leaders because it felt like they had the secret to that happy and perfect life. But now, the truth is out.

One by one, as celebrities and leaders fall from grace, the happy endings shatter; #couplegoals and #GOAT are no longer great goals. Their lives have now been revealed to be just like ours: Imperfect, and broken.

THE CRUSHING OF OUR IDEALS PERHAPS REVEALS WHAT WE REALLY DESIRE DEEP INSIDE: HAPPINESS AND PERFECTION.

If we are not careful, what we see online and on the silver screen can easily tap into our unhealthy and unmet desires, lead us to idolise fallen humans, and fantasise about unrealistic happy endings that capture our hearts. But none of these can fully represent the real picture of perfection that Christ offers.

May we instead find our desires met in Jesus Christ, who did not come as a Greek god with a perfect bod to be worshipped, or created a fan following by hobnobbing with the rich and famous. Instead, the Creator of the universe did not keep His high status to Himself, but walked with the poor and needy — and humbled Himself to the point of death so as to redeem us (Phil 2:1–11). Furthermore, His love continues to reach out to you and me as our provider, restorer and friend, and He wants His people to love one another as He loves them (John 13:34; 1 John 4:19). Which celebrity could do all that, really?

So, the next time you are faced with a celebrity disappointment, ask yourself, what do you truly desire? May the true happy ending we seek be the priceless joy found in a loving relationship with Christ and with those around us, so that our happiness and joy will be made complete (John 15:11)!

Love & Sexuality: What Does It Mean To Be Sexually Pure?

Alicia Heng — Tue, 24 Sep 2019 04:00:00 +0000

“What does it mean for us to stay sexually pure in a relationship?”

This is such an important question, and we value your desire to honour God in your relationship. Fundamentally, staying sexually pure is a commitment motivated by love for others and a desire to honour God. You seek to cherish the other because you recognise them as God’s sacred creation (Gen 1:27; Ps 139:13–18). As sexual relations bond two beings in the deepest way as one, the Bible teaches us that it should be reserved for the context of a covenant marriage (Mark 10:6–9; Heb 13:4).

Practically, sexual purity is not simply tied to a particular behaviour or action. For example, you could refrain from having actual intercourse with your boyfriend, but if you then channel those desires into other physically intimate acts or fantasies about physical intimacy with him, that’s not purity the way Jesus talks about.

Remember that in Matthew 5:28, Jesus says, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart”. Clearly, purity according to Jesus is not about your actions; it’s about what’s in your heart!

What then can you do to help each other stay sexually pure?

1. Guard against sexual arousal leading to unrestrained physical intimacy

Physical intimate acts at whichever degree can stir up deeper emotions and intense sexual desires. Arousing each other in this way makes it difficult to stay sexually pure physically and mentally. Thus, Song of Songs 8:4 instructs us, “do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires” (that is, until it is ready at the right time).

Know what heightens arousal (e.g. deep kissing, caressing, and fondling) and refrain from that by discussing and agreeing on clear boundaries. It is not about suppressing but submitting your desires and affections to God in order to honour God and the one you love.

2. Respect each other’s bodies and emotions

A good guiding question could be, “How can I express love for my boyfriend without claiming more of his body and emotions than I should?” Draw the line at what communicates love respectfully, versus what feeds sexual desires and fantasy. Sexual intimacy is not the only way to express love. Love can be powerfully expressed in listening, forgiving, apologising, encouraging, and so on.

3. Teaming up to fight temptation TOGETHER

Instead of teasing and thus arousing each other sexually, build up your teamwork to fight temptation together. Regularly review your relationship together with a trusted and godly mentor for reinforcement and input.

If your relationship has already crossed certain lines of sexual intimacy, your mentor can pray with you and provide spiritual and emotional support to deal with it. Do not fall into a spiral of self-condemnation but seek forgiveness from each other. Again, discuss the issue with your boyfriend, share your feelings and draw up helpful boundaries together. Seek God together and invite Him to lead.

“Good Good Father” – The Story Behind The Song

Kallos Team — Tue, 24 Sep 2019 04:00:00 +0000

The first line of “Good Good Father” is “I’ve heard a thousand stories of what they think You’re like”. What made you write that line?

I am so glad that you asked me this question. That’s the reason I wrote this song. That one line. No one has ever asked me that before!

For “Good Good Father“, I was just becoming a father to my kids, and I always thought about how I should introduce God to my kids. You can choose to introduce God as a healer, a comforter or a guide.

And then there are a lot of narratives outside the church that people use, like there is no God, God’s distant, God is angry, God is ashamed of you. We’ve all heard so many of those stories. Some of them are healthy, while some are really harmful.

So I started reading Scripture more and more. When Jesus introduced a relationship with God to people, the word he used was “Father”.

Of all the stories being told about God, Jesus thought the most appropriate and important was fatherhood and having a relationship with someone who loves and cares for you unconditionally.

The word “father” or “mother” can be difficult for some people because it’s a relational word. Depending on your own experience with your mother and father, or your lack of experience, it really affects how we view God.

So for me and for many adults, a lot of the journey is how am I going to unlearn some of the harmful stories that I’ve heard and believed in my life about Him. So that opening line in “Good Good Father”, for me, was about my whole life searching for thousands of narratives and takes and opinions about what God is like and eventually, I decided to trust Jesus’ word for who He says He is — Father. And [that decision] is good and liberating.

How do you channel life experiences into your songs?

Writing, for me, has always been a way to be honest and figure out what I actually feel. I’ve written so many songs that are not good enough to share (laughs). But whether I share them or not is always second to the fact that these are written to help me see God more clearly in the moment I’m in. Experiential songwriting is bringing your current real life circumstance before God and singing about it. So on my record, there’s a song called “Into Faith I Go”. It’s a song about change.

Change makes me nervous. I’ve always been like that. So the first line of the song is not even creative, it’s descriptive. It says “I’ve never been good at change” (laughs). Change can look like moving to another city, transitioning to another job or having difficult conversations with someone.

Even though melodies can’t solve problems, they provide an outlet of expression towards trusting God more. So, for me, it’s been my way of forcing myself to be honest with God and not hide and pretend when things are difficult. It’s really liberating to say “wow this is hard, I’m losing sleep over this situation. God, can you help me find peace? Is there a place where you can redirect my attention that can help me through this?” And sometimes there’s a song written for this but sometimes a song needs to be written because it doesn’t exist yet. Whatever I’m going through at the time, I’ll write about it. I found that to be helpful personally.

[SONGWRITING IS] MY WAY OF FORCING MYSELF TO BE HONEST WITH GOD AND NOT HIDE AND PRETEND WHEN THINGS ARE DIFFICULT.

It’s such an encouragement to then share those songs with other people and offer them as a help to the world. That’s what I love. I love it when a song that has helped me has the opportunity to help others as well. That’s one of the best parts of songwriting to me.

What kind of worship leader do you want to be known as?

Every time I lead worship, one of the things that I want people to know is that I’m just like everybody else. We are all in the same boat together. Instead of walking away going, “Oh wow I heard some great or bad songs” or whatever they think about the song (laughs), there will be an awareness that we were worshipping God together. It wasn’t just Pat singing or us singing, but it was all of us singing together. I hope that people walk away with the feeling that, “Wow, we all need God the same”.

This interview was conducted in conjunction with Thir.st and City Radio.

Dear Kallos: I Feel Like I Am Losing A Really Good Friend Who Doesn’t Value Me Anymore

Alina Teo — Tue, 24 Sep 2019 04:00:00 +0000

I’ve been feeling really depressed lately, and I think that it’s because I feel like I’m losing a really good friend who doesn’t value me anymore. I tried talking to him about it, but it didn’t seem to work. I don’t know how to express how I feel and I hope I’m just overthinking it. But what if I’m not? — Hurt and Confused

dear Hurt and Confused,

The uncertainty of the friendship and how you feel undervalued must be very difficult to bear. I’m sorry you have to feel this pain.

It does sound like your friend wants some space and there may or may not be a clear reason why. Sometimes guys just need their space. Or perhaps he is going through something difficult and doesn’t want to share it just yet. Be patient and act out of love instead of fear.

You have already raised the topic and shown you care, so I believe that when your friend is ready to talk, he would. One thing you can do as a good friend is to let him know you’re there for him and you hope to share his burden, but you will respect the space he might want.

Remember that there are others around you who care deeply for you! This might be a good point to also focus on the other friendships you have and invest in them. There are some friendships that are for specific seasons in our lives, while others may last for a long time.

Through it all, I pray that your worth would be found in Christ and not in how another person might value you. As humans, we will all fail one another. Only Christ will always fully fulfil our deepest longings of being loved and valued.

Don’t be disheartened, sister! Hang on to the hope of this friendship that means a lot to you, but hang on even tighter to God who will carry you through every storm and knows what you need before you even utter it (Matt 6:8). Let God carry this burden with you. Go to Him in prayer and let Him give you His peace.

The #NunsToo Movement

Isabel Phua — Tue, 24 Sep 2019 04:00:00 +0000

STATISTICS

UP TO 30% OF CATHOLIC SISTERS HAD BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED AND MANY MORE ARE AT
RISK OF CLERICAL SEXUAL ABUSE
(THE CONVERSATION AUSTRALIA, 2019)

THOUSANDS OF CHILDREN WERE SEXUALLY ABUSED BY CLERICS OVER THE PAST 70 YEARS

THE ROYAL COMMISSION OF AUSTRALIA FOUND MORE THAN 4,400 SEPARATE ALLEGATIONS OF ABUSE AGAINST CATHOLIC INSTITUTIONS IN AUSTRALIA

ESTIMATED 3.8 MILLION VICTIMS AROUND THE WORLD

STORY

In January 2017, a nun from Kerala, India, approached church authorities to report Bishop Franco Mulakkal, whom she accused of raping her more than a dozen times from 2014-2016. However, she received little support, and eventually decided to report him to the police in June 2018. While he was recently charged with raping the nun nine times over a two year period, the significant amount of resistance and time taken to prosecute him is a disheartening sign that the issue is not given the attention it deserves, and this sentiment is echoed by nuns around the world.

WHAT IS GOING ON?

Before 2018, the primary focus of the Catholic Church has been handling the sexual abuse by priests and other church members against minors. However, after different scandals came to light, Pope Francis, the head of the Catholic Church, admitted for the first time in February 2019 to BBC News that there are indeed bishops and priests who are sexually abusing nuns in the church. Catholic women across the world are now sharing their stories under the hashtag #NunsToo, leading to what is now seen as a global sex abuse crisis in the Catholic Church.

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?

Sexual abuse of nuns is not new. In 1994, an Irish nun published a report to the Vatican with evidence of nuns being sexually harassed and abused in over twenty countries by their male clerics. However, the Vatican stayed silent and concealed it. In the February 2019 issue of Women Church World, editor Lucetta Scaraffia shared hundreds of stories from nuns that showed sexual abuse happens due to the abuse of power from a male-dominated leadership and the hierarchy and patriarchy of the Catholic Church. What was discovered in an investigation of the Chilean Catholic Church — a culture of abuse, inaction and concealment — seems to be an alarming pattern that is also happening in churches across the world.

WHY IS THIS THE FIRST TIME WE ARE HEARING ABOUT THIS?

For many nuns who have been raped, it is difficult for them to report that they have been raped by a priest, because the prevailing belief is that women can say no to sex. Also, many believe they are the ones who are at fault, as they must have done something to seduce these holy men.

Just as it has been difficult for many child victims of sexual abuse in the Catholic church to report the abuse, nuns find themselves powerless to seek justice. When some of them have gotten pregnant, they have even been forced to get abortions or thrown out of the order. Overwhelmingly, it is the difference in power between the nuns and the priests that has made this issue one shrouded in secrecy until now.

WHAT NOW:
– Read the story of Hagar in Genesis 16. The way God cared for her demonstrates His heart for victims. Pray for every victim to remember that God is with them and cares for them.
– Think: What does God’s response in Genesis 18-19 (one of the most infamous incidents of sexual assault in the Bible) tell you about His heart for sexual perversion?
– Pray for the Catholic Church and its leaders to be God-fearing, humble to admit they are wrong, and repentant of their actions. Pray for them to have courage to right wrongs and fight for justice the way the Bible teaches us to.