Issue 41 – Kallos

Dear Kallos: How Do You Know If You Like Someone?

Quek Shiwei — Wed, 16 Sep 2020 03:43:00 +0000

Dear Kallos, how do you know if you like someone? – Wondering

dear Wondering,

For most girls, a crush is easily identifiable — your heart beats faster, you have butterflies in your stomach, and you feel excited around him. Though such a romantic attraction is often the basis for a relationship, others have found that love comes in different ways. Sometimes, love comes fast and furious. For others, love comes softly. Many couples share that while they didn’t experience the typical K-drama or Hollywood kind of infatuation, love crept up on them as they enjoyed their friendship and time spent together. For others, while their partners had an intense romantic attraction towards them, they were not so sure! However, as they gave the relationship a chance, their feelings slowly warmed and their hearts turned towards them.

Love comes in many ways, but the Author of our love stories remains the same. Bring your confusion and feelings before the Lord and He will give you clarity about what to do with them. Also, your friends and families are good allies, as they sometimes may have a clue to your true feelings before you!

Dear Kallos, how do you explain the meaning of an “unequally yoked relationship” to a non-Christian without offending them? – Unsure

dear Unsure,

I’ve often found that the trick to having sensitive conversations is to start from a posture of listening and understanding. It can be helpful to ask questions like, “What do you think is the purpose of dating?”, “What are some of the things that make a couple compatible?”, or “Do you think it’s important for a couple to have similar life goals?” These can spark wonderful conversations that help you and your friend find you have more in common than you both realise.

Often, explaining an “unequally yoked” relationship can come across as offensive as it seems to make the non-Christian somehow inferior to the Christian. However, when one approaches the topic from the understanding of what makes a relationship work and how important one’s faith is to one’s life goals, it steers the conversation away from potential offence to the real issues at hand.

Of course, it’s important to remember that this often quoted phrase from 2 Corinthians 6:14 was written about general partnerships between Christians and unbelievers, so it wasn’t specifically about but could be applied to romantic relationships.

In the context of the verse (2 Cor 6:14–16), Paul contrasted righteousness with wickedness, light and darkness, and the living God with idols to indicate the likely conflicts in such partnerships. While it may not be helpful to bring these up into a conversation with a non-Christian, if it does come up, you can tackle it with sensitivity and tact by asking questions like, ‘’What makes a person righteous?”, “Do you think most people live in light or darkness?”, and so on.

This could lead to a conversation that helps you share the gospel in a respectful manner. Don’t let a tough topic force you to avoid difficult discussions, but rather, use a posture of sincerity, humility, and curiosity to have conversations that are life-giving to you and your friend.

The Women Giving Away Their Children

Amber Ginter — Wed, 16 Sep 2020 03:42:00 +0000

STATISTICS

AN ESTIMATED 6.5 MILLION VENEZUELANS
WILL HAVE FLED TO ESCAPE POVERTY BY THE END OF 2020
(New York Times)

70% INCREASE
IN ABANDONED BABIES IN 2018
(BBC, 2020)

90% OF THE POPULATION
LIVE IN POVERTY
(INE, 2020)

Having to give your child away is a reality no mother wishes to face, yet it is one that many in Venezuela face on a daily basis. AMBER GINTER explores why.

WHAT IS HAPPENING?
Venezuela has been in the throes of what the United Nations has called one of the worst humanitarian crises. In fact, according to the U.N. World Food Program, 9.3 million people — nearly one-third of Venezuela’s population — are unable to meet their basic dietary needs. The recent COVID-19 outbreak has only worsened overall conditions, as access to food, resources, safety, and adequate education are increasingly out of reach. For women in Venezuela, however, another heartbreak is present.

Under socialist president Nicolás Maduro, Venezuelan women are encouraged to have as many children as possible to heal the economy, a solution with fatal results. For most families, the crippling economic situation means that caring for the children they already have is a struggle in itself. More children means more mouths to feed, resulting in older children being kicked out of their homes or voluntarily sleeping on the streets to find food for themselves.

With the 2020 demand to re-populate, more women are forced to give up their newborns or live on the streets to survive. From warning signs to not abandon children in trash cans to beggars on the streets, Venezuela’s economy is increasingly declining, even with additional births.

WILL THE SITUATION IMPROVE?
With Venezuela in the midst of an ever-worsening economic crisis, the problem can only worsen. With an urgency to reproduce, women are forced to give up a child they can’t provide for, become homeless, or leave the area in attempts to find a new life. Children are often left behind with neighbours, other family members, or simply abandoned when their parents leave the country or region in search of better prospects (The Guardian). As a government-wide authorisation (U.N. Population Fund 2019), 17,000 hormonal contraceptives have been distributed at hospitals and clinics to prevent pregnancy. For those not receiving the implant, however, pregnancy is still possible. Once a child is born, the vicious cycle of reproduction, homelessness, and malnourishment begins all over again.

HOW CAN WE PRAY?

– For children living on the streets after their parents have been unable to care and provide for them to find the help they need.
– For government officials who have citizen’s interests at heart to be elected so that children can be better cared for.

DONATE TODAY

1. UNHCR
The UN Refugee Agency that works on the frontlines of providing food, medicine, shelter and water to those in need.

2. Save the Children
An organisation that provides safe spaces, emotional support, and learning centers for children.

The Real Talk Challenge

Quek Shiwei — Wed, 16 Sep 2020 03:42:00 +0000

CHALLENGE RULES

Read three chapters of Real Talk: Exposing 10 Myths About Love and Sexuality and respond to the reflection questions at the end of each myth.
– Myth 2: Guys are more interested in how sexual a woman is than how pure she is.
– Myth 5: Sex is just for self-pleasure.
– Myth 8: There is nothing wrong with watching porn; I am not hurting anyone in the process.
After completing the reflection questions at the end of each chapter, schedule a call/meet up with each other to share your thoughts and struggles with what you’ve read. Pray for each other at the end of each meeting.

Challenger: Janelle Fong & Jana Ponnia, 16

Fun Fact:
We have been table partners in school for over a year, have totally opposite personalities, and both love stickers!

INITIAL THOUGHTS
Jana: I was not expecting the topics to be so difficult. However, at this age, it is important to delve deeper into these myths. I am not sure how this will progress but I am certain this challenge will help me be more confident in my faith and draw me closer to God. I am very grateful that I am able to do this challenge with Janelle because we are close, so it will be easier and more comfortable to talk about these myths. Despite all my uncertainties, I am excited! The myth I am most eager to discuss is: Guys are more interested in how sexual a woman is than how pure she is. I personally do not agree with this statement. However, I don’t quite know how to express my thoughts on this, so I hope that reading this chapter will help me gain clarity.

Janelle: When I first found out which chapters we would be reading and discussing, I found it a bit weird because they are topics that usually aren’t discussed in normal conversations. However, I think that this will be a good learning experience and will help me grow closer to God. I’m also very curious as to how my discussions with Jana will go. Similar to Jana, I am curious about Myth 2 because I have heard it many times but I strongly disagree with it. I am interested to find out other viewpoints about this myth.

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED
Jana: For me, Myth 8 was an interesting chapter. I was always told to stay away from pornography and explicit content; I have just accepted that it is bad but I have never been told what makes it bad. I have always believed that watching porn is a sin but it was important for me to understand why it is against God’s will. I especially liked the line, “[there has been a] shift from sex for procreation to sex for recreation” because I felt that it clearly summarised the difference between God’s intent of sex for love versus worldly desires and lust. I have always believed in sex after marriage and this chapter reinforced that too. I am glad that I can now articulate my beliefs clearly!

One thing that really struck me in Myth 5 and 8 was the impact of consuming explicit material on others globally. I never really thought about the impact of pornography on prostitution and sex trafficking. This is really a big issue especially in poorer areas in the world as children are being exploited too.

Janelle: Myth 2 listed ways to identify a godly man (e.g. one who respects the boundaries you have set for yourself, who tries his best to flee from physical temptation etc.). That was very thought provoking for me as I have never really thought about the qualities I would want in a future partner except that he has to be a Christian. These were very useful pointers that I would definitely keep in mind in the future!

Myth 8 was also a very eye-opening one! I realised that so many people are impacted and affected when people watch pornography. It deepened my perspective that porn objectifies people and this objectification can be carried into real life where what is seen in porn is reflected in the expectations we have of how people should look or behave. The pornography industry is one that exploits people and it saddens me to think that there may be some who have no choice but to enter the industry for a living. It must be incredibly painful for God to witness His creation treated in such ways and I think it is important for people to realise that watching porn goes way beyond fuelling their lust. Watching porn also affects our brains and the relationships we form with other people as well. It is even more important that we stay away from porn in order for us to be able to build healthy relationships with others.

FINAL THOUGHTS
Jana: Honestly, it was a little awkward at first as we didn’t really know how to begin. But as we progressed, we delved into deeper discussions which were helpful. I enjoyed talking to Janelle about these topics because I was able to hear her views too. The last time I delved into such topics at length was around two years ago with two best friends from church. I really feel that it is essential to discuss such topics with close friends or our parents. I also grew in my walk with God because I understood more about His plan for me and what is against His will. I hope to apply all the things I have learnt to truly be a woman after God’s own heart!

Janelle: Broaching these topics are always a little hard initially. It helped that I am quite comfortable around Jana. My first conversation about such topics was with a non-Christian friend. At that time, we both shared similar views, such as how pornography can be harmful to others (those who work in the industry and the people around us), and how we believe in abstinence before marriage. This time, the conversation with Jana was more God-oriented and we were able to discuss how God fits in the whole narrative about sexuality. Furthermore, the discussions made me think that although these topics are considered “taboo” in Asian countries, they should be discussed more openly. Doing so in the context of church and cell group would help to educate young people about sexuality too, and help them to hold each other accountable in their struggles. Overall, it was a really interesting challenge for me and I look forward to growing closer to God as I journey to stay pure both in heart and mind!

All About Worship

Kallos Team — Wed, 16 Sep 2020 03:41:00 +0000

Worship is a regular part of our weekly church services. But have you ever thought about what worship really is all about? Here are the top four questions about worship that we’ve gathered from our readers!

“How do I worship God when I don’t feel like it?”
Aarksara: I’ll be one of the first to raise my hand and admit that I have had these thoughts go through my mind. I’ve quickly learnt that worship is a non-negotiable in our walk with Jesus. It is part of our DNA as followers of Christ. Worship is our response and expression unto God, in every season.

When we are under the weather and lose our appetite, we don’t feel like eating, but we know that in order for our body to recover, we need to eat and consume the right nutrition to heal. Likewise, we will have down times throughout our lives where we may not feel like worshipping, but we need to be anchored and remain in Him. John 15:4 says, “Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.”

Even when it is difficult, worship is our response to choosing Jesus no matter what may come our way.

“What makes a worship song a worship song?”
Isaac Ong: Growing up in church, I’ve always believed a worship song to be anything that was sung in church or any song with lyrics that had “God” in it. While that may still be somewhat true, growing more in God has helped me to widen my understanding of worship and what God truly desires out of my song.

God is not looking for lip service, or songs that just have an outer shell of “worship” with no heart of worship, void of devotion and adoration that comes from deep within. He desires that our hearts be not far away from the words that we offer unto Him, lest it be just really a so-called Christian song, rather than a worship song.

To me, what takes a song nominally about God to become a WORSHIP song unto God is the heart and posture of the worshipper. We have a tendency to focus on the outward appearance, but God always sees the heart. *Cue* “When the music fades…” [from “The Heart of Worship” by Matt Redman]

“How do you know if you’re cut out to be a worship leader?”
Jonathan Cho: Most of us typically begin with asking if we have the musical ability for this role, but perhaps this is not the most fundamental question. If we truly desire to lead others into worship through song, we would find ourselves disciplined to develop the necessary skill set. Leading worship always involves both the hard-ware (i.e., “hard skills” like technical knowledge) as well as heart-ware. So, what is it about the heart?

What is our truest desire? Would we worship Him in secret — when there is no platform or stage and no one hears our songs? Would we still lead others if no one remembers our names? We can only lead others to where we are prepared to go ourselves. Is it our heart’s deep desire for all to give God glory, to love and adore Him whilst we can be forgotten? Worship is never about the stage; it is always about the heart. Perhaps that is where we must begin.

“Why do we need to have worship as part of church service every week?”
Benita Lim: Singing together is a rich tradition practised by God’s people. The Israelites sang when they were in battle (2 Chr 20:21–22), and when they experienced God’s redemption and victory (Exod 15:1, 21). Together, they assembled to sing praises and laments from the Psalms on days of feasts. Jesus also sang in the upper room with His disciples when they gathered for the Last Supper (Mark 14:26).

In fact, God Himself sings (Zeph 3:17); Jesus is described to be singing praises to God in the assembly of God’s people (Heb 2:12), and Colossians 3:16 refers to songs from the Spirit! The same verse also tells us to let the message of Christ dwell richly in our hearts as we sing spiritual songs to exhort one another and in thanksgiving to God (Col 3:16; cf. Eph 5:19). Through singing together during church services, we experience and recognise God’s presence as one body of Christ, are taught about God’s Word with each song’s theology, and even encourage each other as we sing in harmony.

Sheltering The Homeless

Jiamin Choo — Wed, 16 Sep 2020 03:41:00 +0000

“We are four days away from Opening Day! We’ve found all the hosts required. We’ve reached our target for fundraising. All items required for donation have been secured. We are looking for people to host virtual Zoom prayers for this project. If God has placed in your heart to be an intercessor, please sign up …. Thank you and stay safe!”

I received the above message from the church’s WhatsApp chat during the Covid-19 circuit breaker period. It got me excited. A number of churches in Singapore, including the church where I’m worshipping, had decided to open up their doors to the homeless in response to the call for more help, as existing shelters for the homeless were hitting full capacity. I thought it was interesting that due to Covid-19 precautionary measures, we the church members had to be “chased out” of the church buildings, so that the homeless could be welcomed into God’s house, God’s shelter.

I was also encouraged by this ground-up initiative started by some younger church members, which grew quickly into a large team of volunteers, including the young and the old, and church leaders. I felt God impress on my heart to volunteer as a prayer host, alongside two other ladies, to facilitate daily 20-minute prayer sessions via Zoom. This would be our commitment, our contribution by being prayer intercessors, lifting up the shelter project’s guests, hosts and volunteers before God, together with others who joined us for the online prayer sessions.

As our church opened our doors as a shelter, we waited on God to bring the guests to us. One by one, they came. One was glad to finally have a mattress to sleep on. Another asked, “Why are you all (the hosts) so nice to me?” because no one had treated him so well before. The guests also enjoyed the biryani and nasi goreng delivered by the food volunteers. One lady faithfully helped with the laundry of the guests for weeks. Some church kids drew cards for the guests, which made their day. But the biggest highlight was the heartfelt conversations the hosts had with the guests, the sharing of life stories in a safe space, and the opportunities to speak hope into their lives.

All that was happening with this shelter project was like Hebrews 10:24–25 coming alive. In the midst of the Covid-19 crisis, even though our church communities were physically isolated, we continued to spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together (because we went online instead and engaged with each other even more), but encouraging one another. What a powerful testimony to see the beauty of the church coming together in unity, rising up to the call to serve the homeless, and in so doing, being humbled ourselves as we experienced God’s heart of love and compassion for the marginalised.

After 51 days of being a church shelter for the homeless, with Singapore entering Phase 2 of re-opening, after much prayer and deliberation, it was decided that the shelter had to close. It had been a precious time with the guests, and the guests would move on to their next journey and accommodation.

Looking back, the call to respond in a time of crisis had brought the church closer together. Everyone played a part to make this shelter project a beautiful offering to God. We needed one another. Whenever a need arose, someone in the church community would respond to close the gap. One church member put it beautifully: “Thankful for God’s gift of community — in communion with the Father, held in unity by Jesus’ precious blood, moved to humble acts of love by the Holy Spirit.”

PRAYER

Dear God, thank You for the gift of church community, especially in a time of crisis. Open my eyes to see new ways in which I can reach out and contribute to the community with the gifts You have blessed me with. Amen.

REFLECTION TIME!

1. How have you been blessed by someone in your church community during the Covid-19 pandemic?
2. How can you bless someone in your church community during the Covid-19 pandemic?

DELVE DEEPER

Read and reflect on these passages on “Community”:
o 1 Corinthians 12:21–27 (members of the body)
o Galatians 6:2–3 (bear one another’s burdens)
o Matthew 18:21–35

HANDLES

To better understand the New Testament, familiarise yourself with the world of Jesus and the Gospel writers. Consider what life was like in 1st century Palestine (e.g. worldviews, societal norms, family structure, jobs, gender roles, food, weather etc.).

What Are We (Fighting) Typing For?

Benita Lim — Wed, 16 Sep 2020 03:40:00 +0000

What a year 2020 has been. It has been a constant stream of bad news — of natural disasters and civil unrest in many parts of the world and, of course, the global pandemic of Covid-19 which has created the deepest worldwide economic recession since World War II. All around the world, plans have been frustrated and movements restricted by lockdowns and travel bans. The Internet seems to have become the only sphere where we can freely roam around and shop for our needs and wants; it is where various forms of art such as free museum tours, concerts, and even memes have provided us an oasis of entertainment and escapism.

On the other hand, the Internet also has its own dark side: A battleground where netizens flame others and spread gossip on forums and comment sections, upload content that stir public sentiment, and, increasingly, promote online activism in the face of injustice, both perceived and real. You may have had been angered by the video of how a black American man named George Floyd was killed by police officers needlessly and because of this got alerted to the Black Lives Matter (BLM) movement. #MeToo has been trending for a few years now and shows no signs of slowing down. Influencers have been flamed and “cancelled” after their posts that touched on sensitive issues like sexuality and race riled up netizens.

It’s hard to know what to do. Writing our thoughts or reposting articles may make us vulnerable to critique, draw us into heated debates, and potentially get us shamed or similarly cancelled by random trolls or even people we thought were our friends. But remaining silent may signal to our online communities that we are not “woke” but rather are ignorant, or are complicit for not doing anything about the issues of the day. After a while, it gets exhausting having to scroll through all the intense drama, or sieve through the polarising information to figure out where we ourselves stand on these matters.

REMAINING SILENT MAY SIGNAL TO OUR ONLINE COMMUNITIES THAT WE ARE NOT “WOKE” BUT RATHER ARE IGNORANT, OR ARE COMPLICIT FOR NOT DOING ANYTHING.

While we are not to identify ourselves with the world that has rebelled against God, the reality is that we are in this world (John 17:15–16). But we are also the Holy Spirit-filled body of Christ that is sent to make Him known (John 17:18; Acts 1:8). How then should we engage the world as Christians, especially regarding such matters on social media? As God’s people who are called to do justice and love kindness (Micah 6:8), could we remain silent in the face of all that is happening around us and on our screens? In the face of all these heated discussions online, how are we to respond?

LISTEN.
First of all, we must remember that we are human beings engaging fellow human beings. None of us have all the answers, but we can always actively listen and prayerfully discern. Whenever someone says or posts something, there is always a reason why, valid or not. If you are triggered by what they are posting, do not comment immediately. Take a deep breath, and hold back those fingers. Consider where this person is at in life right now — what could be a possible reason why they are posting about this? On what points do you necessarily agree or disagree? Is there a need for the original poster (OP) to clarify potentially controversial statements?

Social media posts can be one-dimensional as we do not see the whole person behind the post. If this person is a friend, meeting face-to-face may reduce the potential for further misunderstanding, and gives you the opportunity to care for them as a person.

As we graciously ask questions for the sake of listening and understanding, we may find dialoguing more meaningful. For example, someone who may find certain topics a non-issue may have never been exposed to or had a relationship with people who have a very different reality. Listening will help you to realise that an argument that does not provide real-life examples may just fall on deaf ears.

AVOID JUMPING ONTO HASHTAG BANDWAGONS... HAVE YOU DONE ENOUGH RESEARCH TO MAKE A RESPONSIBLE AND CONSTRUCTIVE COMMENT?

LEARN & DISCERN.
After listening to what is behind the OP’s actions or speech, learn — what are these issues really about? Avoid jumping onto hashtag bandwagons; do you know the historical and social reasons behind these issues, and have you done enough research to make a responsible and constructive comment? Reading up on the issue, fact-checking, and speaking to friends or church members who are involved in related fields can also help you be more informed.

In turn, learning will help you to discern how controversies that happen overseas may be relevant to your own context, such as the BLM movement. For example, Singapore does have race-related issues too, but our approach to them requires nuance because we face a rather different context.

Last but not least, consider the platform you are using for your message. Will it achieve your purposes, or will it lead to further misunderstandings? For instance, talking about sensitive topics like homosexuality online may create greater unresolved conflict than real-life conversations. We need God’s wisdom and discernment more than ever.

LOVE.
Social media is designed to encourage “likes” and “shares” as quickly as possible so as to increase online revenue. It has made us more likely to thoughtlessly cancel someone for an unpopular view, or reject seemingly outdated ideas (especially by conservative/older folk) with a dismissive “OK boomer”. Failing to learn, listen, and discern will lead to us reacting too quickly with actions that tear down rather than build up (1 Cor 8:1). When we have already cancelled someone from our lives, how will we be able to share the good news of God’s grace and mercy with them? We must be merciful, for we have received mercy (1 Pet 2:10).

God does not desire for people to be cancelled, but to be prayed for and to understand His truth (1 Tim 2:4). Jesus Christ had compassion on the crowds that were troubled and helpless, “like sheep without a shepherd” (Matt 9:36–38). Jesus walked the ground and actively lived out His love and compassion for people, and His actions gave His words and character full credence. We must therefore ask ourselves as we attempt to respond to views we disagree with — have we been giving these people love apart from disputes? We may win the verbal battle, but if we fail to show God’s love to them as fellow human beings, we are nothing (1 Cor 13:1–3).

TYPE FOR HOPE!
Many issues in this world today are the result of complex reasons from yesterday which cannot be resolved with a click. God grieves along with us for the injustice in this world (Ps 10:14). But as Jesus reminds us that although there will be trouble, He has overcome the world (John 16:33). Let us leave the ultimate judgement to Him (Rom 12:19)!

REMEMBER THIS TOO: THE ONLINE MEDIUM IS NOT THE ONLY CHANNEL TO SPEAK UP OR TAKE ACTION!

However, since Jesus has sent us to the fallen world as His Spirit-filled body, let us do as He did by living with grace, wisdom, and love as a church, as sons and daughters of God. As we reach out, remember this too: the online medium is not the only channel to speak up or take action! So, take the time you need to prepare a response, or take it offline with the other person. Speak to a mature leader about your thoughts. If you feel too overwhelmed, take a break! It is OK to do so. Regardless, do listen, learn and discern, and love the human beings behind the messages. May you, too, grow in God’s grace, wisdom, and love — the very things we are typing for.

Review: Folklore by Taylor Swift

Eunice Sng — Wed, 16 Sep 2020 03:40:00 +0000

Singer-songwriter Taylor Swift pivots in style from her last two albums and settles in for a melancholic documentation of relationships and life in her latest record, Folklore. In the midst of a pandemic, its self-reflective charm paints a narrative escape just like that of an oasis in the desert. Folklore takes us through Swift’s musings, rants, and belief systems, a far cry from the controversial Reputation but nowhere near the energising pop anthems on Lover. Swift goes back to her singer-songwriter roots in this one, hardened from past battles, yet open and vulnerable.

Swift draws inspiration from her vault of past experiences, coupled with historic figures, events, and even movies, whilst encircling her tried and tested theme of love and its failings. It all begins with “the 1”, a post-breakup meditation where Swift fantasises about what could have been and looks back on a past relationship with rose-tinted glasses. This track’s easy-listening vibe carries on throughout the album, but the themes are anything but light.

In “mad woman”, Taylor does her take on the phrase “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”. Here, she laments the injustice of how a toxic ex-boyfriend gets away with everything, being able to seamlessly move on to his next “victim”, while she is left carrying the grudges and hurts of their broken relationship. She points to the notion that not all anger is unfounded, playing out scenes of retaliation but biding her time and choosing inaction while simultaneously seething inside.

The whole album soon fades to an end with the beautifully haunting melodies on “hoax”, its repetitive melody resembling that of a music box that gets wound up only to play out the same expected outcome. It’s a sad tale of a protagonist who longs for love from a partner even though she knows the love isn’t true: “Your faithless love’s the only hoax I believe in / Don’t want no other shade of blue but you / No other sadness in the world would do.”

Though the album is catchy and fun to listen to, I would proceed with a guarded heart. Swift is a master of making us feel wistful about young love (even if we’ve never even been through it!), and while this album’s ethereal quality may make you long for the experience, clearly not all the love she describes is healthy.

Don’t get me wrong — I love the album. It’s a beautiful tribute to the Taylor I knew and loved. It also shows her growth as a person and as a musician. Yet, it’s easy to be drawn into romanticising, or longing, for a broken relationship at the strum of a tune.

I think that’s why the Bible warns us to “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Prov 4:23). It would be much more fulfilling to let the wisdom of God guide our thinking and feeling instead of songs and songwriters, no matter how much we admire them.

Dig Deeper: Does The Old Testament Promote Racism?

Jackie Hwang — Wed, 16 Sep 2020 03:39:00 +0000

Does this question make you uncomfortable? It should! The answer that any Christian wants to hear to this question is “NO!” But how do we answer people who claim that the Old Testament (OT) itself promotes racism? Perhaps we secretly fear that this claim is somehow true.

The claim that the OT promotes racism usually comes up because it seems that God gives the Israelites preferential treatment in the OT. God calls the Israelites His chosen people (Deut 7:6). Did God choose them because they were a superior race? Did God not care about other races? Is the God of the OT different from Jesus, who offers salvation in the New Testament (NT) to all people regardless of race (John 3:16)?

When I was a young person growing up in church, I was never brave enough to ask my parents or church leaders these questions. I was afraid that if I did, it would mean that I was doubting God. Years later, I discovered that these are important questions that godly Christians have already asked. I was relieved to know that I was not a “bad Christian” for having these questions. In fact, asking them showed that I cared about what the Bible says and who God really is. If you are asking similar questions, I hope my experience is an encouragement to you. In my search for answers, I was able to find several reasons for a definitive “no” to the claim that the OT promotes racism.

I WAS NEVER BRAVE ENOUGH TO ASK THESE QUESTIONS. I WAS AFRAID THAT IF I DID, IT WOULD MEAN THAT I WAS DOUBTING GOD.

CHOSEN FOR OBEDIENCE, NOT SUPERIORITY
First, God did not choose the Israelites because of any idea of racial superiority. God’s choice was instead based on obedience to Him. To understand this, we need to go back to God’s calling of their ancestor — Abraham, also known as Abram. Genesis 12:1–9 records this important event in OT history, when God called Abram to leave his homeland to go to a faraway place. The incredible thing was that Abram obeyed God, no questions asked! Obedience to God was the only thing that set Abram apart from his kinsmen/tribe in Ur (Gen 11:31), who were likely worshippers of false Chaldean gods.

Generations later, when God acted on His promise to Abraham and began nation-building with his descendants, He chose an equally unlikely group of people — the Israelite slaves in Egypt (Deut 7:7–8). If anything, they were inferior, not superior! With these acts, God showed that His grace can overcome the racial prejudice that the Egyptians had against the lowly Israelites.

CHOSEN TO BE A BLESSING
Second, when God chose Abraham and the Israelites, He did not disregard other races. In fact, God chose the Israelites with a purpose to bless everyone else (Gen 12:3) and to defend the marginalised (Deut 10:17–19). The Israelites were given a special mission to be examples of holy living so that all other nations would learn about God’s holiness (Exod 19:6; Deut 4:5–8). This was important because they were living in an evil world where kings and false gods were cruel and capricious (Exod 1:8–16; 2 Kings 17:31). God was calling the Israelites to live as shining examples of holiness and justice in a corrupt world.

CHOSEN, BUT WITHOUT SPECIAL TREATMENT
Third, God did not give the Israelites preferential treatment because they were His chosen people. We can see this in the stern warnings against evil that God gave to the Israelites. For if, instead of serving as examples of holiness, they acted like other nations, God would judge them and remove them from the promised land (Deut 28). The sad history of Israel was exactly this — they neglected God’s warning against sin and began to imitate the evil ways of other nations. Israel thought that God would give them preferential treatment because they were His chosen people (Hos 8:2; Jer 14:13–14). However, God took issue with their sense of racial superiority (Amos 3:2; 9:7). The sinfulness of the kings and people finally led to God’s judgement after their repeated rejection of God’s warning (2 Kgs 17:7–20). Hence, God’s favour to the Israelites was based on holy living, not race.

WHEN GOD CHOSE ABRAHAM AND THE ISRAELITES, HE DID NOT DISREGARD OTHER RACES.

THE GOSPEL FOR ALL, REGARDLESS OF RACE
Looking at how God chose the Israelites in the OT, something should begin to sound familiar to us as Christians today. In the NT, Jesus has also called us to obey God’s commands (John 14:15), and Abraham is mentioned as an example of faith for us (Heb 11:8; 12:1). Just like the Israelites, Christians have a responsibility to live as examples of holiness to draw others to God (Acts 1:8; 1 Pet 2:9). For those of us who have grown up in Christian homes, the negative example of the Israelites reminds us that salvation is not automatic because of family or race. A genuine and active faith in God is required, and it is in fact the only requirement for salvation. In many ways, God’s selection of the Israelites in the OT foreshadows the call to Christians of all races in the NT (Luke 10:25–37; Acts 10; Rev 7:9–10).

In fact, even in the OT, God’s favour was not only toward the Israelites. There are many OT stories where God was gracious and loving to non-Israelites who turned to him. Some examples are Rahab (Josh 6:22–25), Ruth (Ruth 1:16; 2:6, 11–12), a Sidonian widow (1 Kgs 17:8–24), and Naaman (2 Kings 5:1–14).

GOD IS NOT RACIST. HE IS THE BIGGEST ADVOCATE FOR RACIAL RECONCILIATION!

God was gracious and loving not only to individual non-Israelites; He was also compassionate to whole groups of them. A good example would be the story of Jonah. Unlike the well-loved children’s version of the story with a big fish, the focus of the book is actually about God’s heart to warn, forgive, and save a foreign people (Jon 1:1–2; 3:10; 4:2). When the people of Nineveh were willing to repent from evil and worship God (Jon 3:4–9), He was more than willing to forgive them and remove the judgement against them (Jon 3:10). But when Jonah acted like a racist and was unhappy that God saved the people of Nineveh (Jon 4:1–2), God even scolded Jonah for his racism (Jon 4:10–11)!

Reading these parts of the OT should help us know that God is not racist. In reality, He is the biggest advocate for racial reconciliation and delights in true worshippers from all races! From all these examples, we see that God is passionately interested in working against the sinful human tendency toward racism. As His followers, this should be our passion as well.

Once Suicidal and Broken, Now With Unending Hope! Jolyn Ng Tells All

Quek Shiwei — Wed, 16 Sep 2020 03:38:00 +0000

A quick look through the Instagram page Actspressions reveals the works of Jolyn Ng, all bold, bright, and beautiful. This is a person who is clearly unafraid of colour. She candidly shares, “I used to ask God why He gave me a skill that is not as functional as doctors’ or civil engineers’. He spoke to me in a sunset: “Why must the sun set beautifully? Why is the sky orange and pink?” I realised that God is creative and humans are made to behold beauty. I hope that the art in Actspressions helps people see that.”

With each joyous paintbrush stroke, Jolyn tells a layered story of the darkness she encountered before arriving in the light where she is today. At 19, she was diagnosed with clinical depression. “Hospitals, suicidal tendencies, anti-depressants and the whole sense of despair and hopelessness are familiar things to me. I was suicidal, broken and I lost all hope.”

THE TRIGGER
Having attended an elite school, it would seem that Jolyn had many good things going for her. In truth, she was struggling academically and socially. “I didn’t have any [godly] role model since I wasn’t from a Christian family. I was not sure of my values and didn’t have a compass for life. Eventually, I stumbled into bad company. I also had a lot of relationship problems; I think that was the main thing that broke me as a young girl. I wanted to find love and acceptance, but it quickly unravelled and bordered on sexual abuse. I was very broken and felt rejected and worthless.”

At 16, Jolyn’s life took a hopeful turn when she encountered Christ at a youth camp. But though she had hoped her relationships would be different from then on, she was soon disappointed. “I thought that a Christian guy would be different in relationships. However, the guy I was dating led me to fall into sexual sin. When I stopped it, he broke up with me.” To add on to this, two of her friends in church also started distancing themselves from her.

“I think these two incidents were the trigger (for depression). It brought back a lot of my past hurts and my feelings of worthlessness and abandonment.”

THE INTERVENTION
Thankfully, Jolyn had a friend in her cell group who was a professional counsellor. One day, her friend carefully broached the topic: “Jolyn, I think you might have depression.”

“I didn’t really understand what that meant so I said no, I don’t have depression. I thought depression was something uncontrollable, but I was still functioning. She explained that ‘depression is an illness, like a fever. You know anyone can get a fever, right? But some have a lower immune system which makes them more susceptible to having a fever. It is possible to recover without medication or treatment, but it might escalate or be more painful.’ She asked if she could bring me to a psychiatrist to get diagnosed. She also offered to call my parents and explain the situation to them. I was directed to her counselling centre, where I received therapy for a few months. That was how I was officially diagnosed.”

THE LOWEST POINT
Despite undergoing therapy, it was not sunshine all the time. She likens it to taking two steps forward and one step back.

One night, after months of seriously contemplating suicide, Jolyn reached her breaking point. Pensively, she recounts, “My good friend was going to Nepal for a mission trip, my then-boyfriend was going to Malaysia for a Christian camp, and my sister was leaving for a choir camp in Hong Kong. All these close friends were leaving the next day and I just couldn’t handle it.”

She spent the night writing farewell letters to different people. She also wrote to God saying, “I want to honour you but it’s so painful and so difficult, I cannot do it.” The next day, while out with one of her friends, she abruptly left and texted her friend not to look for her. Aware that Jolyn was in a raw mental state but unable to accompany her, she called another friend from church to be with Jolyn. This other friend followed Jolyn around and refused to leave her.

“I ASKED, ‘IF YOU REALLY LOVE ME, WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO SEE ME SUFFERING AND IN PAIN?’”

“I was very angry. I told her to leave me alone. I asked, ‘If you really love me, why would you want to see me suffering and in pain?’ She responded, ‘Jolyn, how do you expect me to leave you?’ Her tenderheartedness made me cry.”

Jolyn’s parents, who had been alerted by her friend, were also frantically searching for her. When Jolyn’s mum finally found her, she was at breaking point.

“When I saw my mum, she broke down and said, ‘Please, can we just go to the hospital? I don’t know what to do. I cannot help you.’ When I saw how broken and helpless she was, I agreed to go to the hospital.”

THE RECOVERY
Jolyn was hospitalised for a week, and upon her discharge, she had to work with social workers for a few months. While she acknowledges that overcoming depression looks different for everyone, she highlighted three things that have been instrumental in her recovery.

The first was education. She explains: “Imagine a line with two spectrums — extreme happiness and extreme sadness. Everyone is on this line; most people are somewhere nearer to the happy side on normal days. But there are also bad days and you veer towards the sad end. It happens to everyone. When you stay too long and close to the sad end that it begins to affect your daily life and how you function, that’s when you get diagnosed with depression.”

The second was counselling, which she credits as the biggest factor in her recovery. “I had a recurring nightmare about someone who wanted to catch me in my home. I had another nightmare where I was getting raped. I told my counsellor about them and as she is a Christian, she said, ‘Why don’t we both kneel on the floor and pray?’ Since then, I’ve never had those nightmares again!”

The third was people who cared. “Someone from my cell group would call me at 10 p.m. daily to pray with me. Some days I didn’t feel like picking up the phone! But over time, I realised that I was held together by a group of people who cared.”

"CAN A STRUGGLE WITH MENTAL HEALTH EVER BE TRULY OVER? I DON'T THINK SO."

THE PRESENT
Today, Jolyn acknowledges that her life is good. She got married in July last year, and continues to think about how she can grow her business in spite of the stress and difficulties associated with a start-up.

When asked if she thinks a struggle with mental health can ever be truly “over”, she pauses, before stating, “I don’t think so. I won’t say that I struggle with mental health now, but I still struggle with bad thoughts and how to cope with overwhelming emotions.”

When she feels herself slipping into negative patterns of thought again, she is able to recognise it and put a conscious stop to it. “I am someone who feels things deeply and is very sensitive to the world. When I am affected by something, I tell myself that these intense emotions will pass. It can just be a bad day or week, and I don’t let it shape my entire outlook on life.”

Now, Jolyn describes herself as “a small person with big dreams of great love being shared”. With each daily step and every artwork she puts out into the world, Jolyn aims to live up to the motto of Actspressions, inspired by a quote from Mother Teresa — to do small things with great love.