Issue 49 – Kallos

YEN: From Living In Vice To Working For Christ

Aarksara Foo — Wed, 01 Dec 2021 05:27:00 +0000

When I first met Yen, the founder of BlessedBe, a Christian home decor and gifts company, I saw a woman who has joyfully entrusted her whole life, business, and family into the hands of the Lord. Yet, her journey with God was not a bed of roses. Hearing her life story, I was inspired by the ways in which she hasd wrestled with God and the life lessons that have led her to being in an intimate relationship with the Lord today.

LEADING A LIFE APART FROM CHRIST

In Yen’s growing-up years, she would have never imagined that she would become a follower of Christ, or someone who would set up a business dedicated to Him.

Yen was born in communist Vietnam, with little to no exposure to Christianity. Yet, she always had a gut feeling of a higher being, someone she would call out to in her times of loneliness or trouble, such as when her sister was hitting her and she longed for someone to protect her. However, years down the road, she forgot about this connection she had with the higher being. At the age of 19, her parents gathered what little money they had to send Yen to the United States to further her studies.

No longer bound to family, Yen was free to explore the ways of the world in her teens. She shares, “I was young and deemed myself as successful. I had a good education, I was earning good money, I dated around, and had fun.” She recounts hopping into her friend’s sports car at 11 pm after her part-time shift at a restaurant and partying until the wee hours of the night. She didn’t just party hard, but worked hard too. After one year of working in the States, she earned enough to buy her first car, and after three years, bought her own house. The chase for material success seemed fun and filled her with adrenalin. However, this novelty soon wore off and as day after day ended with partying, she found herself feeling empty with a gaping hole in her heart.

MY DAYS FELT VERY EMPTY. IT’S LIKE YOU’RE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING, BUT YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE LOOKING FOR.

REALISING HER BROKENNESS

All the partying and overworking not only took a toll on her emotional health, but also her physical health. She soon developed a severe stomach ulcer that landed her in hospital. Coupled with a break-up with her then-boyfriend, it felt as if her world was crashing down. “After a while, it didn’t feel like success. I was very empty on the inside. My days felt very empty. It’s like you’re looking for something, but you don’t know what you’re looking for. You just want to fulfil that lack of something.”

All the things that had brought her happiness and ecstasy felt so short-lived and fleeting. Her heart was aching for something permanent, something that had constancy. And this was when the Lord showed up through the Christian friends placed in Yen’s life.

One of these friends had been trying to invite her to church on several occasions, but Yen had been too preoccupied with her own life to care more about what they had to offer. But then she came to think that she would give visiting the church a shot.

It was a normal church meeting, but that night, God used a simple service to turn Yen’s life around. The speaker preached a timely message which spoke deeply to Yen. Making reference to the veil of the temple being torn in two upon the death of Jesus on the cross (Matt 27:51), the speaker took a knife and slashed it across a curtain. “Somehow, when she used the knife to cut through the curtain, it opened my heart. I wasn’t sure what the Lord did. But when the preacher did that, it opened up my heart and my eyes to see the love of God.”

GOD’S TIMING IS REALLY PERFECT. HE WILL MAKE EVERYTHING BEAUTIFUL IN HIS TIME.

At that moment, she was reminded of her childhood connection with the higher being, and everything seemed to make sense. Her longing for something everlasting was satisfied in Christ.

ENTRUSTING HER LIFE WITH GOD

Even though Yen gave her life to the Lord, life was not all rosy. After she got married, Yen and her Malaysian husband were not sure which country to settle in, but she felt God leading her to move to Singapore. After wrestling with the Lord, Yen ultimately chose to obey Him and settle in Singapore despite her longing to be back in her hometown in Vietnam. Upon the birth of her first child, she quit her job to take care of the child. Initially, the loss of a stable source of income threw her young family into rocky waters. However, the Lord impressed upon her heart that He would make everything beautiful in His time (Ecc 3:11). This promise would comfort her yet again when she lost her second child, who was stillborn, just nine days before she was due. She knew that the Lord was in preparation of something beautiful for her, so she readied her heart and waited for a sign from God.

MOUNTING UP WITH WINGS LIKE EAGLES

In 2020, before a visit back to Vietnam, Yen had a brief interaction with a Christian bookstore owner in Singapore who had foundout she was Vietnamese and asked if she knew of any suppliers for handicrafts to sell in his store. Yen decided to help him source for suppliers in Vietnam out of goodwill. Then one night, as she was at the dining table with her mother in Vietnam, the Lord spoke to her and told her to start a handicraft business for Him.

“I really didn’t plan for BlessedBe. I never expected myself to start a business. I was an insurance broker. I knew nothing aboutbusiness. But I had courage, because the years of waiting taught me that when the season is right, the Lord will multiply our capacity. He will grant me favour for His will.” Because Yen had been waiting patiently for the Lord for so many years, her heart was tender and obedient to His will, and she gave Him her “yes” despite the uncertainties that lay ahead of her.

“God’s timing is really perfect. He will make everything beautiful in His time. And when we wait upon Him, we will mount up with wings (Isa 40:31).”

It was precisely His perfect timing that led Yen to found BlessedBe Home Decor and Gifts Galore. BlessedBe’s products are thoughtfully designed and prayerfully crafted by a team of God-loving Vietnamese Christians. It serves as a platform to spread the gospel and love to both the crafters and the buyers. Yen’s life is a testament to the Lord’s faithfulness. Her life story teaches us what it means to obey Him and live for Him.

Finding The One

Aarksara Foo — Wed, 01 Dec 2021 05:13:00 +0000

In my early 20s, I would pray every single day for God to show me whom He wanted me to marry. I patiently waited, but there was neither a sign from God nor any suitable partners.. When guys did show their interest in me, I asked God: Could he be ‘the one’? Silence. Should I let the guy who was standing right in front of me go? I heard no reply from God. It was really hard.

A DECISION

Then in 2015, when I was 22, I made a decision that I would marry whomever God chose for me —regardless what he looked like or what he did in life. I told God that my desire was for Him to decide on my life partner for me. In essence, I was promising Him that I would marry the man He gave me. I entrusted my heart to Him as my matchmaker.

A POSSIBILITY

That same year, Clovis — one of my friends in my prayer group — broke up with his then-girlfriend. I heard a still but clear small voice say, “Just be there for him.” So, I was there for him whenever he wanted to talk. I was his listening ear, and my heart would ache whenever I knew he was sad. Gradually, I started developing feelings for Clovis.

Yet, I wondered if these feelings were just my own desires.

Soon, it was time for me to depart on a six-month overseas exchange programme. I asked God for a sign: if Clovis were to send me off at the airport, then I would hold on to my feelings for him. I thought there was a high chance that he would not come, as only my family and my closest girl friends had told me that they would be there. However, on the day of my departure, I saw him walking toward me at the airport and was stunned with happiness. I kept asking myself: Is this God’s confirmation or a mere coincidence?

I ENTRUSTED MY HEART TO HIM AS MY MATCHMAKER.

After I returned from the programme, Clovis and I met up, and I was glad that our close friendship remained. However, in the following few months, he started to distance himself. My frustrations began to mount: What was I to him? Was I just his friend? What was God trying to teach me?

A TOTAL SURRENDER

In early 2017, the year I turned 24, during my devotion time, I experienced a meltdown about the situation with Clovis. After much wrestling with my own desires for the relationship, I surrendered my heart to God. I begged Him to remove my feelings for Clovis, as I did not want to seek anyone for myself any longer. I wanted to be abandoned to God’s call and will. In that moment, God filled me with such a great relief that I knew that my burdens had been lifted.

But just when I thought that this marked the end of the drama with Clovis, I had two consecutive dreams that very night. In the first dream, I saw my wedding ceremony. I could clearly see that Clovis was the bridegroom and the pastor conducting the ceremony told him to kiss me after our vows. In the second dream, Clovis joined my family to take a family portrait. I woke up the next morning with such peace and assurance. The dreams were utterly unexpected — I understood them as God finally confirming and assuring me that Clovis would be my future husband.

I prayed for God to reveal His plan directly to Clovis, and also to our parents, as I wanted them to have the same peace. Eventually, my father and Clovis’ mother sensed that God has revealed to them His plans for us to be together. However, Clovis did not take any initiative to pursue me for a whole year. Pent-up emotions and doubts crept back: Why did God show me Clovis in my dream? Would it be wrong for me to date someone else?

OVER TO HIM

In July 2018, Clovis and I, along with some friends, went for the One Thing Gathering, a worship conference. I remember that the opening message was on Psalm 139, reminding us that God knows our hearts and He knows our thoughts before we utter or even think them. It was there that Clovis decided he wanted to surrender his own desires completely to God.

It was a few weeks later that God spoke to Clovis through a dream. In Clovis’ dream, both of us were in his car, preparing to worship God in an open-air carpark. In the dream, Clovis was feeling frustrated, as he couldn’t figure out the chords for a particular song. So, I logged in to his personal email to retrieve the chords for him.

GOD KNOWS WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU AND HIS TIMING IS PERFECT.

The dream showed Clovis that I was someone significant; we were more than friends. We were together not just to have fun, but to be in the same ministry to lead people into God’s presence through worship. It was clear to him that I would be his wife and his helpmate.

A STEP OF FAITH TO A LIFELONG ADVENTURE

Clovis shared his dream with me. I could hardly believe that after three long years of waiting, the time had finally come for us to be together. This was actually real; God was indeed our matchmaker. Since God had spoken so clearly to us, we decided to take another step of faith. With our pastors’ guidance, we got married in October 2018, after only three weeks of wedding preparation. God accelerated our progress as a couple. Clovis was my boyfriend for a month, and my fiancé for a week, before becoming my husband for life. We took that step of faith to embark on a lifelong adventure with each other and with God — and we have no regrets. I hope that our story encourages you if you have been struggling with waiting. But remember, God works in different ways for different people. His ways and thoughts are higher than ours, and we should never try to put God in a box and presume to know exactly how He would move in each of our lives. God knows what is best for you and His timing is perfect. Seek Him, ask Him, wait on Him, and obey His Word completely. God has never failed. When you truly surrender, God will move!

How Do I Discern God’s Voice?

1. ALIGN YOUR DECISIONS TO GOD’S WORD
Learn how to read the different books of the Bible and do it daily, and you will get to know God better every day. This will help you make good decisions and raise red flags that you should not ignore. For example, when you feel interested in someone, whether you pursue the relationship or not would be influenced by the warning in 2 Corinthians 6:14 about unbelieving partners.

2. SEEK COUNSEL FROM YOUR SPIRITUAL LEADERS AND PARENTS
Whenever you have to make a big decision — such as whether to date or marry someone — ask for advice from the people who know you well and love you (Prov 11:14). You may be so consumed by your feelings that you are unable or unwilling to check if you are making a sound decision. Your spiritual leaders and parents should be able to guide you through your decision-making process and highlight the potentials and pitfalls.

3. ENSURE THAT YOU HAVE THE PEACE OF GOD
If you feel unease about any decision, commit to time in prayer and even fasting (which can be about giving up a distraction) to earnestly seek God, and wait for Him to communicate with you clearly. Remember that the peace of God doesn’t mean ignoring danger signs or pretending that everything is fine, but having Jesus Christ as your centre (Phil 4:6–7).

How Did You Know This Was The Right Job For You?

Kallos Team — Wed, 01 Dec 2021 04:58:00 +0000

Cheot Yee See
Partnerships & Special Projects
Executive at Migrant x Me

I’ve always believed the right job for me would be one which I enjoyed the work and was passionate about! God provided this job for me through Migrant x Me (MxMe), a non-profit organisation that seeks to build an inclusive Singapore for the migrant worker community by empowering youths.

I was based in Seoul, Korea for the past few years studying, working, and living away from home. Even though my job as a full-time designer was stable, I felt lost and did not feel free to grow to my fullest potential in terms of my creativity. However, God presented the opportunity for me to use my skill sets to help with the conceptualising of MxMe’s branding in 2018 when the organisation was starting out. From then on, I designed materials to educate Singaporeans on the migrant worker community. It was through this experience that I saw how design can be used for good and have the power to impact others!

How does your work make an impact?

When I came back to Singapore in 2019, I met an injured migrant worker who shared about his struggles after he was injured. I remember empathising with how helpless he felt not knowing what to do and being alone in a country that does not speak his language. I wondered if there was a bigger role for me to play as my heart for the migrant community grew.

This led to a full-time job with MxMe in 2021, where my work focuses on building partnerships with schools to run our educational programmes, and working on special projects where I can express my creativity. How God has led me here and grown my passion for the community over the years helps me believe that He has equipped and led me to this role!

CAROLINE CHOONG
DOCTOR

It was all very natural for me. In secondary school I preferred science, and toyed with the idea of being an astronaut one day … till my dad told me NASA is for Americans. In JC I subscribed to and read American Scientist every month. The articles on neuroscience fascinated me and I dreamt of being an award-winning neuroscientist, making new discoveries about the human brain and behaviour. However, a short stint working as a research assistant in the lab made me realise that my extroverted personality meant I needed to be around people at work too.

So when it finally came to choosing a university course, I just knew I had to apply for Medicine because it tied together the 2 things I liked: science and working with people. I applied for NUS medicine, went for the interview, and got in. Over the next 5 years, I realised that medicine was indeed a perfect fit for me — working with science and working with people.

How do you see God’s hand at work in your career?

Fast forward another 8 years, I am now working as a specialist in a public hospital. As I look back on my years of medical school and residency training, I see how things just fell into place easily. I am now in a career that fits me perfectly. Everything was so natural that I know it could have only been God’s grace and wisdom. Only my Heavenly Father who knows me perfectly could have led me to this place. Only He who created me would know what job I could excel in and would be happy in.

Rachael Lim
Financial Consultant

Six months before coming across my current company, I had an impression of a path before me marked with bulbs and doors. Suddenly, it lit up and the doors opened and shut, guiding me forward. Open and closed doors are like guides showing us next steps. I had experienced a closed door to an exchange programme to UCL, but I was led to career coaching sessions by my financial advisory firm. It made me realise that my strengths — being curious about people and not afraid to talk deeper about their lives, and the love of planning — fit the role. Through these resources, I experienced first-hand what their tagline #ImpactingLivesBeyondFinance meant. This was something that resonated and aligned with my values.

Why do you think God led you here?

Four years on, I can see God’s hand clearly. I’d never thought of being in Finance! My family is experiencing the long-term damaging effects of products sold instead of going through holistic planning. This made me wonder what planning really entails. As God led me to an independently-owned financial advisory firm that gives unbiased advice and customised financial solutions, I can now do my best to provide a financial advisory experience that reflects godly principles and brings clarity to situations. When people openly share with me their goals and dreams, problems and pains, it allows me to journey with them in working towards solutions — financially, in life, and prayer.

How do you find meaning in your work?

Recently, I’ve learnt that God gave us work for us to steward and create value out of the resources He has given — skills, natural resources, etc. — for the betterment of society. Holistic financial advisory enables me to do that. Finance is connected with almost all aspects of life, and I believe my role isn’t just to help people earn more and pay less, but to help them realise that by stewarding our finances, we end up stewarding our lives.

CLAUDIA TAN
SECRETARIAT, YELLOW RIBBON PROJECT

When I graduated, I looked for a job where I could contribute meaningfully to society, involved skill sets that I am good at, and opportunities to expand my perspectives. My degree helped me to land a job in the entertainment industry related to my major in marketing. However, the interest waned as I felt I wanted to impact lives and serve in meaning jobs with purpose. When I joined the public sector through the Yellow Ribbon Project,I could use my training in marketing to create campaigns and events aimed at changing mindsets towards ex-offenders. It was meaningful to shed light on the challenges ex-offenders face and bring hope to inmates and ex-offenders, as many struggle to find acceptance from their family, friends, and society at large. It was also where I lived out what was taught in the Bible — to be kind and compassionate towards one another, forgiving just as in Christ God forgave us (Eph 4:32).

What does it take to thrive in your career?

Finding a career we will enjoy and thrive in requires high self awareness and a strong anchor in our identity. Even though I am not in a role typical of graduates in my course, I found ways to apply my educational background in the course of my work. My advice for those starting to think about your career is to be patient in letting God show you your desires, skills, how your background matches the jobs you are considering, and how you can contribute to your job and organisation. Lastly, don’t be afraid to venture out of the norm!

What to do when you don’t know what to do

Jillian Lee — Wed, 01 Dec 2021 04:46:00 +0000

“God, don’t you care? Have you forgotten about me?”
“What’s your plan for my life?”
“How come everyone else has a clear calling except me?”

These were the words in my tear-stained journal, at a point of time in my life when I felt completely lost and directionless. As a teacher, I was burnt out, and had been questioning the purpose of the profession for several months.

I knew that this was not where I was meant to be … but I had no idea where to go. All my half-hearted attempts to apply for other jobs were met with silence. What was worse, all my heart-wrenching cries to God for clarity on my next steps were also met with silence.

IS GOD SILENT OR AM I DEAF?
Until one day, God spoke to me from Hebrews 11:8.

“By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going.”

Abraham left his homeland without knowing where he was going. Not only that, he brought his wife, nephew, and all the people and possessions that he had acquired with him on this uncertain journey (Gen 12:4–5). For someone who liked having all my ducks in a row, and whose life up to that point had been pretty smooth-sailing, what Abraham did was a somewhat uncomfortable, if not preposterous, idea.

Then came God’s gentle challenge: “Jillian, where is your security? Is it in me? Or your five-year plan?”

JILLIAN, WHERE IS YOUR SECURITY? IS IT IN ME? OR YOUR FIVE-YEAR PLAN?

GOING INTO THE UNKNOWN
But God’s question illuminated the real condition of my heart. The real reason I wanted Him to reveal my next steps was because I was afraid. I was afraid of the risks involved in leaving a comfortable job with no prospects in sight. I was afraid of trying something new and failing. Yet, God has called us to trust Him despite the unknown. And what God really wanted was wholehearted faith and trust in HIM, regardless of whether I knew where He was leading me.

I repented and decided that I would tender my resignation. Things moved quite quickly after that. One of my friends from church asked me if I was interested to go for a talk by the founders of a school in Asia. I wasn’t too keen. (Another school? I thought I was done with education!) But I decided to take a five-day trip to the school to find
out more.

During the trip, I was invited as a guest to one of the graduating classes. The students (mostly in their late teens or early twenties) were encouraged to ask this guest from Singapore some questions. I was expecting the usual second-language learner questions like, “What type of food do you eat?” and “What is life in Singapore like?” Instead, the first question that came my way was, “How do you define success?” This was followed by others like, “What’s your calling?” and “What advice do you have for us as graduating students?”

FINDING MY CALLING
I was tongue-tied! Never in my six years of teaching had any of my students asked me questions like these before. And here was an entire roomful of young adults asking these deep and profound questions — questions that I had trouble answering myself! I sensed that there was something unique about the school, and I applied to be a teacher there under the Short Missions Service (SMS) programme in my church. I thought that I would give it a go for a year … but ended up staying for four years, receiving (and accepting) God’s call to education, and never looking back.

So, what have I learnt on this journey? What advice would I have given my younger self who was seeking direction for my career and future?

Give God the space & time to speak.

Have our anxious thoughts and worries crowded out God’s still, small voice? Have we become so obsessed with our call that we shut out anything else God is saying to us? My own experience tells me that God does speak, but it’s often not what you’re expecting to hear. We’ve heard this so many times: God cares more about the condition of our hearts than about what we can offer Him with our lives. But our constant fretting and comparing betray our actual understanding of this truth. Also, when we understand that the sufficiency of God’s grace is more important than the efficiency of our ways, we learn to let God speak and move in His timing, not ours.

Be proactive

Waiting on the Lord requires patience, but it doesn’t mean inactivity. Take the initiative to find out more about the world we live in and how God is actively working in it. Listen to what Christians in various industries have to say about how their work is redemptive. It’ll broaden your perspectives on what ‘meaningful work’ involves (The Cathedral Podcast by St. Andrew’s Cathedral and The Regent Podcast are great places to start!). Speak to people in industries that you might be interested in to get clarity on what their work involves. Sometimes, we have too rosy a view of what a job entails.

Get with a mentor or trusted friend to discern your strengths and weaknesses. Our Asian tendency to think we’re not good at anything is often a blind spot. What have your parents, teachers, or church leaders said you are good at? (If you can, pluck up some courage to have a conversation with them on this!) What unique experiences has God allowed you to go through? What character weaknesses do you need to be more aware of? All these insights might help us see ourselves — and perhaps the path ahead — more clearly.

And if the road ahead is still murky, use this time to grow in other important ways — do volunteer work or apply for internships in a broad range of industries. You may not end up with a job, but you’ll definitely end up richer in compassion and experience. In a nutshell, you can’t steer the car if the wheels aren’t moving … so move, even if it’s just an inch.

Relax, you’re going to mess up, anyway.

Our best plans are going to get messed up, and that’s a fact. We’re going to put our best foot forward and fail, and even when we think we’ve got it all sorted out, God is still going to surprise us in oh-so-many ways. Because as much as we delude ourselves into thinking otherwise, we’re not in control of our lives. And that, my friends, is good news. It takes the pressure off ourselves to get it right all the time. We are free — free to make choices, to make mistakes, and to experience the grace of God again and again — because all our stories have already been written into God’s grand story.

It’s been about 12 years since that anguished journal entry. Has life been smooth-sailing just because I’ve “found my calling?” Nope. I can’t count the number of times I’ve cried, tried, and failed. Do I know what the next five to ten years of my life will look like? I have a vague idea, but I’m still clinging on to God for every step and reminding myself to give God space to speak, to move in tandem with Him, and to relax and enjoy the journey as much as I can.

Dig Deeper: How Do I Know What God’s Will for My Life Is?

Jackie Hwang — Wed, 01 Dec 2021 04:26:00 +0000

When a major decision comes our way — whether in choosing a school, career, or life partner — we often look for guidance to make the right choice. For many of us, we have heard that God has a will for our lives, and we wish to make our decisions according to that will. However, we may find God’s will unclear, and this brings us to the question: “How do I know what God’s will for my life is?” I remember asking this question many times in my younger days, often with the fear that I had missed a clue from God about how to make an important decision. Over the years, I have come to realise that to understand God’s will for me, I need first to understand the nature of God’s will. And once I understand this, what He wants for my life is no longer so mysterious.

I HAVE COME TO REALISE THAT TO UNDERSTAND GOD’S WILL FOR ME, I NEED FIRST TO UNDERSTAND THE NATURE OF GOD’S WILL.

THE NATURE OF GOD’S WILL

One way we can understand God’s will is to recognise that there are three categories of His will. The first is God’s sovereign will, which is His plan from the beginning of time to the end of time. It involves His design to save people from sin through Jesus Christ (John 3:14; Eph 1:3–10). Most of God’s sovereign will has been revealed in history and recorded in the Bible, but some parts of it remain hidden until the end of time.

The second category is God’s moral will. This is God’s expectation for those He has saved to live godly lives and enjoy freedom from sin’s bondage and consequences, whilst being salt and light in a dark world (Gal 5:13–26; 1 Pet 2). God’s moral will has been clearly revealed in the Bible to teach us how to live as believers.

The last category is God’s will for individuals. This is what many of us feel is most immediate to our concerns in decision-making and perhaps the most difficult to figure out. Before I go on to explore God’s will for individuals, let me mention three crucial points. First, God’s will for individuals is never contrary to His sovereign will and moral will. Second, some people, like Samuel (1 Sam 3:1–21) and Paul (Acts 9:1–30), may have a special experience that reveals God’s will for them. Third, some people will never have such an experience, but this doesn’t mean that God’s will for them is any less significant. With these thoughts in mind, we can look into how we can make the right decisions according to God’s will for us as individuals.

HOW SHOULD I MAKE DECISIONS ACCORDING TO GOD’S WILL?

Since God’s will for us as individuals never goes against His sovereign and moral will, we should check that we are living according to these two aspects of His will before even asking the question of His will for us as individuals. In a sense, the two aspects of His will that are already revealed in the Bible are prerequisites to our understanding His will for us in other major decisions.

Once we are living according to these aspects of His will, we actually have a lot of freedom in making decisions. Some of us may be under the misimpression that our lives are like a maze in which every choice is critical to lead us down the right path and achieve the right outcome. Contrary to this, a metaphor that is closer to the Bible is that of a ship on an open sea with many paths for navigation to any number of safe harbours, though there are general principles to avoid dangerous waters and to wisely ride out storms. There will be times when we need to make mid-course corrections or look for new paths.

The metaphor of a ship uses a ‘wisdom perspective’ to understand God’s will for individuals. So, instead of making decisions by looking for a sign from God, it looks at what is already available for making good decisions within the revealed will of God as well as our surroundings.

HOW DO I APPLY A ‘WISDOM PERSPECTIVE’ IN DECISION-MAKING?

To apply a ‘wisdom perspective’ in our lives, we should know that choices for schools and careers are often determined by our natural abilities and situational opportunities. With what God has already provided and where He has placed us, we make wise decisions by making the most of these resources according to godly principles. In the Parable of the Talents, for example, Jesus praises the servant who made the most of the resources given by the master (Matt 25:14–30).

When it comes to choosing whom to date and marry, both attraction and compatibility will draw us to people who could be good matches for us. There are many social and moral considerations that will typically guide our decision to finally tie the knot. In the Bible, the emphasis falls less on whom to date or marry, and more on sexual purity (1 Cor 6:18–7:7) and godly spousal responsibilities (Eph 5:21–33). Indeed, these principles are more important for a good relationship than the initial choice of a partner.

SOMETIMES IT IS NOT WHAT WE CHOOSE, BUT HOW WE ACT IN OUR CHOICES AND WHOM WE ARE LIVING FOR.

A ‘wisdom perspective’ also helps us see that some criteria for decision-making may be obvious in our existing circumstances. Even though supernatural answers are possible, they are not necessary to understanding God’s will. Paying attention to obvious cues and using godly principles as guides are also an important part of God’s will. A list of questions below provides general guidelines to help us make godly and wise decisions:

• Does my choice fit who I am and where I am in life?
• Should I consider a path less travelled?
• Do the people who know me best and whom I respect agree with this decision?
• Is there anything in my choice that seems to go against God’s sovereign and moral will in the Bible?
• Have I prayed and asked God about this decision?

Remember: sometimes it is not what we choose, but how we act in our choices and whom we are living for. The Christian responsibility to live uprightly, speak truthfully and graciously, and, in all manners, to love God and others as Jesus has commanded us (Matt 22:37–39) is the core of God’s will for us in all that we do and wherever we are. With these principles guiding your sails, may you venture into the open sea with God at the helm of your ship!

I felt my grades were never good enough

Kallos Team — Wed, 01 Dec 2021 04:19:00 +0000

There were times when I was studying in my room and my parents came in, asking, “You studying?” My brain went, Yes, what else do you expect? Can I focus now? but I merely replied with a nod or a polite “Yes.” Then there were moments when they came in at the exact moment when, after two to three hours of studying, I was on a five- or ten-minute break, watching a short video or using my phone.

“Why aren’t you studying?”

“I am taking a break.”

“Why are you always taking a break?” They didn’t believe me and started to nag about studying.

It was even more demoralising when I didn’t score 70s or 80s in my tests despite all the effort put in. It was worse because getting scores of 60s meant more chiding and nagging at home. During those ‘pep talks,’ my parents commonly said things like, “You haven’t been studying hard enough.” Then they went on about how it was harder for them, how I am much more fortunate today, why studying is so important, and what would happen if I don’t study and get good grades.

I knew that they were just worried about me and my future, and that they nagged at me because they love me enough to. But this combination of events often left me hanging with a single question: Why bother studying if I am not going to do well? I came to a point where I thought I would be better off as an emotionless robot. One that was programmed to study and get good grades. One that studied 24/7 without breaks. One that would not be a disappointment.

I dreamt of getting into the ‘better’ secondary schools during PSLE. I didn’t. In secondary school, I worried about not getting my preferred subject choices. The list of concerns did not stop there. “What if I don’t get into junior college?” (Getting into polytechnic was just starting to get popular, so thankfully, my parents were accepting of it.) “What course will I choose if I have to go to polytechnic?”

Then I entered polytechnic and a new set of anxieties fell upon me that caused those questions to haunt me again. No matter what I did, I could not pull up my GPA. What if I can’t get into university? What will my future look like? Will I be able to secure a good job and support my parents? There were so many “what ifs” and I had no idea what to do. I never felt that my grades were good enough. I didn’t feel good enough. I spiralled into self-doubt, feeling helpless, useless, and worthless. I questioned God. I asked Him, “God, what can I do? Why am I so useless? What is your purpose for me?”

“I think I am better off dead.”

One day, when my thoughts hit rock bottom, I heard God ask me, “Do you trust me? Do you trust that I am good?” To both questions, I answered “yes.” Then He said, “Then trust that you are My precious little girl and trust in My good plans for you. Have faith in Me. You are not alone. I am here for you.” At that very moment, I felt His love wash over all my worries, fears, and insecurities. In my darkest moments when I felt worthless, God told me I was precious, pulled me back into the light, and gave me strength. Now, I choose not to focus too much on my worries and insecurities but focus on God instead. He reminds me that my worth is not defined by my grades or my future job but by His love for me.

Settle To Not Settle

Kallos Team — Wed, 01 Dec 2021 04:13:00 +0000

“She’s a dreamer,” my mother would say. There is a photo of me with eyes half-closed, gazing at something beyond the camera, in the album she compiled of my early years. Next to it, she wrote: “I am a dreamer.”

I flashed that picture the day I gave my first TEDx talk, which was on dreaming, the theme of the conference that year.

Clutching a piece of cardboard with “Creative Writer” written on the front and back, I triumphantly told my audience to “Settle to Not Settle.” The front of the cardboard
represented what you were studying or pursuing for work; the back of it, what you dreamed of doing. If there was a difference, it meant you still had a dream to achieve one day — effectively closing that gap, as I already had by then. Don’t settle until the front and back of your “cardboard confession” are the same!

But did I really follow my dreams? I wonder, almost ten years from that moment. Did I
truly spend the last decade in creative writing and producing for a living because I was
pursuing what I desired? Well, here’s the truth from where I stand: I don’t think I followed my dreams as much as I followed the hand, heart, and voice of God. The journey has been wild, and He made this happen.

I cannot, in good conscience today, tell you to follow your dreams, but I can tell you that your dreams point to who He has made you to be, more than they show you what you’re
supposed to do with your life.

Following God has not looked like Him giving me directions on big life decisions whenever I demanded them. No, most of the time it has been like this: the hand of God putting a finger on an area of my character that needed Christ-like transformation; the heart of God convicting me to love my neighbour; and the voice of God reminding me that I am His child, whom He loves.

You see, with a God who has promised to lead the way, you don’t need to strive to fulfil
the dreams in your heart or worry about your future career. Don’t settle for the world’s wisdom that a good life means chasing dreams, climbing the corporate ladder, making money, or finding success. Settle, right now, on following the God who has bigger dreams for you than you could ever have for yourself.

It says in Ephesians 2:10 that we are God’s workmanship, His dream brought to life for the good works He has already prepared in advance for us to do — “that we should walk in them.” Whichever way you have been walking, even “following the course of this world” on a path that leaves you “dead” rather than alive in Christ (Eph 2:1–2, 5 ESV), God knows the way you should go. The Creator knows exactly who you are, and what He created you to do. Follow Him!

If I could do it over, the front of the cardboard would have my dream, and the back, God’s dream for me because more than ever, I trust Him. His heart is completely for me, and I’ve learned that the real work is what’s being done in you as you follow Him. And as He changes you, step by step, your dreams for your life will one day align with His for yours.

These dreams probably won’t deviate too much from the passions you’ve held from younger — you’ll still be a dreamer, as I am. The dreams will just be bigger, bolder, and wilder than you can imagine. They will serve the kingdom and bring you incredible joy. Follow His hand, follow His heart, follow the voice of God. Settle to not settle.

JONK’S JOURNALS

A PRAYER
Dear Lord, You see me for who I am and all You have made me to be. Help me to know You for who You are and the depth of Your love for me, that I may trust and follow You with my whole life. Amen.

JOURNAL THIS!
1. In your heart of hearts, what are the dreams you hold for your life? Sit with God and dream with Him.

2. Are there areas where the hand of God is leading you? What is He showing you about His heart through the Word? How has He been speaking to you recently?

KNOW THE WORD
Allow the Holy Spirit to illuminate His truths for you in these passages:
– Psalm 139:1-18
– Jeremiah 1:5-8
– Isaiah 43:1-4

AFTERTHOUGHTS
Check out my 2012 project on dreaming, “I Still Have a Dream” here.

And my TEDxYouth talk on “Settle to Not Settle” here.

30-Day Spiritual Reset

Kallos Team — Wed, 01 Dec 2021 03:59:00 +0000

Challenge Tasks

Choose a book of the Bible and read one chapter a day.
For the first 15 days, set aside five minutes a day to spend in quietness before God. Build it up to ten minutes for the next 15 days.
Fast from a meal or social media for at least three days (it doesn’t have to be consecutive days!)

Challenger: Alisha Yang, 19

Fun Facts:
1. I enjoy playing Christian music on my guitar
2. I like Japanese food
3. I love watching K-dramas

Do you find it hard to practice spiritual disciplines like fasting, reading the Bible and prayer? Creating new habits and sticking to them can be challenging, but also rewarding! Join Alisha as she takes on the Kallos 30-day spiritual reset challenge.

FIRST THOUGHTS
Receiving this challenge was really an answer to my prayers. Juggling school and a part-time job, I often spent time with God by reading the Bible on the way to school or praying before I went to bed. Was this even right? How could I fully give my time to God when I have other responsibilities? The Holy Spirit has been reminding me to give God the best timings of my day, but waking up at 6 am to read His Word and spend more time with Him was so difficult. I felt so excited knowing that this challenge will help me have a good start to a more beautiful relationship with God.

15 Oct
Today was the first day of the challenge and I decided to wake up early to read God’s Word. I was feeling lethargic from work and, being a night owl, it’s been a long time since I’d woken up this early, but I thanked God for being able to wake up early to spend time with Him. For this challenge, I chose to read the book of Proverbs. While reading chapter one, verses 23–25 stood out to me, “turn at my rebuke; surely I will pour out my spirit on you; I will make my words known to you. Because I have called and you refused, I have stretched out my hand and no one regarded, because you disdained all my counsel, and would have none of my rebuke, […]” (NKJV). These verses are a warning against disobedience to God’s words.

Many times, God has talked to me through the Holy Spirit, dreams, people, and social media. Even though God spoke so clearly to me what He wanted me to do, I was stubborn and instead chose to follow what I wanted to hear, disobeying Him and His truth. From today’s reading, I learned to listen to God’s Word — no matter how harsh it may sound, it was still God’s Word and His truth.

16 Oct
This morning before work, I read Proverbs 2. Verses 6–7 say, “For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding; he stores up sound wisdom for the upright; he is a shield to those who walk in integrity” (ESV). It’s always comforting to know that God will always be there for us and protect us. But when we face struggles, it’s important to pray to God to guard our hearts, minds, and souls so that we won’t draw away from Him.

19 Oct
I was an hour late to my class today. During the train ride to school, I read Proverbs 3:5–8: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones” (ESV). When we face struggles at work and at school, sometimes it’s truly difficult to fully give God our trust. We can end up chasing after earthly wisdom instead of the wisdom from God. I remembered that, during my secondary school days, I was too focused on my schoolwork that I had neglected the Word of God. These verses reminded me that no one else but God could give us wisdom. When we learn to see things in God’s perspective, we learn more about His love for us every day!

23 Oct
Today, I decided to fast from Instagram. Doing this made me realise how much time I’ve wasted and that I could spend this time building a much deeper relationship with Christ instead. I was reminded of 2 Peter 1:5–6: “For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness.” With so many distractions around me — Netflix, K-dramas, TikTok — I struggle a lot with self-control when it comes to entertainment. After just two hours of not using Instagram, I felt a really strong urge to just go back onto Instagram to catch up with my friends. As I prayed, I asked God to help me with my addiction to social media and instead to use my time to be with Him.

24 Oct
Today, I read Proverbs 8, and verses 32 to 36 spoke to me: “Now then, my children, listen to me; blessed are those who keep my ways. Listen to my instruction and be wise; do not disregard it. Blessed are those who listen to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway. For those who find me find life and receive favor from the Lord. But those who fail to find me harm themselves; all who hate me love death.” Beyond just reading the Bible every day, it is important to apply His Word in our daily lives. I prayed to God that I would not lose my way and that I would meditate on His words and follow them.

26 Oct
Today, I decided to fast from Instagram again as it was the app I used the most. Since I did it last Saturday, I was confident that I would be able to go without Instagram without feeling the urge to open it. I spent my time worshipping God and also practising my guitar. This was until I saw an Instagram text from my friend. I naturally clicked on the notification and only realised my mistake when it was too late. It’s only the second time I tried to fast from Instagram and I failed, too easily. Today I read Proverbs 10: “The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence. Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs” (vv. 11–12). Reading this, I felt assured by God, that even though I felt like I had failed, His love is enough to cover all wrongs.

4 Nov
Recently, I started watching the Korean drama series Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha. Even though I promised to just watch one episode a day, I was so tempted to watch another episode every time because the start button for the next episode on Netflix would come up almost immediately. Even so, I was reminded of the need to spend more of my time with God. Today I read Proverbs 16. “Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established” (v. 3; ESV). This week, I’ve been worrying about my schoolwork as there were more assignments, projects, and exams coming up. This verse reminded me that no matter the workload, God is always more important in our lives. When we learn to commit and put our work into His hands, He can take our worries and anxieties away and help us to manage better.

7 Nov
These past few days, I realised that reading the Bible on my journey to school was very distracting; sometimes I would just be browsing through the verses without actually thinking them through. Having spent time with God early this morning, I felt the urge to spend time and worship God again at work today, and it reminded me of the importance of my heart posture. Worshipping God isn’t always just in the form of singing and music, it can also be in the way we act, the way we communicate. When we reflect God in our lives, it also shows that God is in our hearts and minds.

Last Thoughts
This challenge helped me to reset my relationship with God by spending more time in His Word and building healthy habits to continue to grow in my relationship with Him. Reading the book of Proverbs helped me to understand the importance of wisdom, and listening to and obeying God’s words. This challenge helped me to be more intentional when reading the Bible, and I found that I was more aware of what God was speaking to me. I thank God for this opportunity to be able to grow closer to Him through this challenge!

Dear Kallos: How can my boyfriend and I be “pure” before marriage?

Alina Teo — Wed, 01 Dec 2021 03:52:00 +0000

My boyfriend and I believe in having sex only after marriage but recently began touching each other’s bodies intimately. I am quite insecure and gave in to temptation often so I could feel “wanted.” I feel that our actions aren’t healthy nor holy, but I don’t really understand why, since we aren’t technically having sex. What does the Bible say about how to behave in a romantic relationship, and what is “pure” before marriage? - Strong-wannabe

dear Strong-wannabe,

Your desire to become a strong woman of God is so precious; don’t ever give that up! It’s clear that you want Christ to be at the centre of your relationship. This includes following what the Bible teaches about healthy and holy behaviour, even when it might not be what either of you prefer at the moment. I’m glad to hear you and your boyfriend share the same commitment to only having sex after marriage. But let’s take a step back and ask what makes this a good commitment and how exactly it is meant to be kept.

What is called “sexual immorality” or “fornication” in the Bible is basically sex with someone you not married to (Heb 13:4). By committing to only having sex after marriage, you are staying away from sexual sin (Song 2:7). Warnings against sin are always for our own good — when sex becomes the basis for a relationship, it can stifle its development and hide important issues. And if you have sinned — remember that it is not you but Jesus who makes you right before God when you ask for his forgiveness.

Does no sex before marriage really mean no sexual intercourse only? What about everything that comes just before crossing that line — touching private parts or other actions that intentionally arouse the other? Sexual activity takes many forms. Did you know that when the Bible teaches about holiness in sexual matters, it doesn’t just talk about guarding your own body (1 Cor 6:18–20), but also helping the other person to lead a holy life (1 Thess 4:1–8)?

Sexual holiness is not just about what you don’t do, but what you do to help each other keep right before God. So, it’s not enough to just keep clear of that line. Your instinct about whether a particular action is healthy or holy should be a good indication of whether you and your boyfriend should stop doing it. Talk about the help you need from each other. For example, if one person is aroused by the other’s hugs, then not hugging may be the way to go. It isn’t about being legalistic or forbidding all physical contact, but understanding and honouring each other, and ultimately God, with your intentions and actions.

I hear your fears of not being desirable to your boyfriend. But may I ask if you would want to be with someone who would put his own desires above you and God? Perhaps what your boyfriend needs is a firmer stand from you, but I urge you first of all to find security in how deeply precious you are to God! No one else can ever be you and you are worth more than you can ever imagine. Don’t believe lies about yourself, but rather soak yourself in God’s Word and let His love define you.