Issue 50 – Kallos

My Classmates And I Raised Money For Unwed Mothers

Kallos Team — Tue, 01 Mar 2022 15:15:00 +0000

In Singapore, unwed mothers are doubly disadvantaged — they single-handedly bear the burden of parenthood and also shoulder the stigma of being unmarried with child in our society. How can Christians better support single mothers? FRIEDEL WONG speaks with Laura Lang and Eve Tan, students from Methodist Girls’ School who helped raise funds for single mothers via giving.sg.

How did this idea to bless unwed mothers come about?

Laura: In December 2019, I attended a youth camp at Barker Road Methodist Church. One of my pastors shared his experience where a group of them decided to bless sex workers in Geylang and give them roses on Valentine’s Day. This made me reflect on females who are stigmatised in society such as sex workers, unwed mothers etc. I confess that initially I had the stereotype that unwed mothers were “impure” or that they had sinned against God and that I shouldn’t associate myself with them. However, upon reflection I realised that we are all the same — sinful in nature. They may have done something unacceptable, but we should still love everyone as we are all God’s precious children. A few months later, I remembered the testimony shared by my pastor and had a spontaneous thought to do something to bless and support unwed mothers on Mother’s Day, and I got my classmates on board.

What is Mother’s Day with A Twist?

Laura: Mother’s Day with A Twist was an initiative to bless and support single mothers on Mother’s Day. With this intention in mind, my Sec One classmates and I did some research and found out that Catholic Family Life (CFL), a registered organisation, befriends and helps unwed single mothers, providing them with baby essentials, and other support they might need. We thought we could start up a fundraising campaign for them.

I had a spontaneous thought to do something to bless and support unwed mothers on Mother’s Day.

That is when we organised Mother’s Day With A Twist back in 2020, an online fundraiser using the giving.sg platform. To promote our fundraiser, we did a video performance. Eve sang and I played the guitar to express our well wishes to mothers. Our classmates contributed drawings and cards. The fundraiser was a success — we managed to raise $5000!

The fundraiser was a success – we managed to raise $5000!

We brought Mother’s Day With A Twist back in 2021. This time, we sold products to our schoolmates and continued to donate the funds raised to CFL. We sold scrapbooks, jewellery, star jars, candles and other accessories, which doubled as Mother’s Day gifts. In the week leading up to Mother’s Day, we also folded origami flower bouquets to present to the beneficiaries of CFL.

How did your classmates get on board with the project?

Laura: Something that was very heartening to see in the first year was that when I asked our class for volunteers, a lot of them were very enthusiastic about it, very passionate, and willing to serve. And I think it was precisely because of everyone’s support and initiative that we managed to raise that amount. When everybody put in the effort, we were able to make a significant positive impact on others.

Eve: For Mother’s Day With a Twist II, quite a few of our classmates volunteered as well. It was during our home-based learning week when we didn’t have to go to school, so many of our classmates turned up at this particular Carl’s Jr at a nearby mall to fold origami paper flowers together for Mother’s Day. That was really cute.

What was most memorable to you?

Laura: In 2021 when I presented the origami bouquets to CFL, the person-in-charge thanked us very sincerely and it really touched my heart. When we were doing it online in 2020, we didn’t get to interact with the beneficiaries or even the foundation very much. So when I got to see the impact we made, it was really great.

Eve: For me it was when the beneficiaries gave us goodie bags at the end of the year to thank us for fundraising, even though the event had happened a few months back. That was really heart-warming. That made the project a lot more meaningful because at the end of the year, they still remembered us. It reminded me that our actions made a difference.

How has your faith played a part in your journey of Mother’s Day with a Twist?

Eve: Around 2020, my Christian journey wasn’t the best and I had strayed from God. When circuit breaker hit and there was no physical church, no school devotions, and I felt even further from God. It was then that Laura initiated this project and I saw it as a great opportunity to serve again and glorify God using my talents.

Laura: Mother’s Day With A Twist helped me to understand that whatever God has blessed us with, such as musical talents, we should use that to help other people. Something I had a revelation about was also the fact that no one is perfect, and yet we judge those that we think are not perfect, such as single mothers! Instead of judging them, we should use whatever we have to help and support them.

How has this experience shaped your opinions on unwed mothers, and what can we do better to support them?

Laura: Unwed mothers actually experience a lot of stigma for being unmarried with child in a society that encourages having kids in the context of marriage.

Eve: I agree, and other than donating or supporting them financially, it’s also a mindset change that a lot people need to have — to reduce the stigma that Laura mentioned against unwed mothers and to be more accepting of others.

Any word of advice for young women who want to help other women in need?

Eve: Just go for it. If you’re in school, your teachers can offer some guidance, so if you’re passionate about something, the best time to do it is now! You can also volunteer at various charities or donate. No matter what situation you’re in, you can always help and no matter what gifts you have, you always have something to contribute, so why not use it now?

Laura: There isn’t a specific time or circumstance that you should start your project. If you have an idea, just do whatever you can to bless people. If you keep making excuses and procrastinating, you will never start. When challenges come up, just remind yourself to stick to your goal of what you want to accomplish and keep going.

The Other Woman

Kallos Team — Tue, 01 Mar 2022 15:05:00 +0000

Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. (Proverbs 31:25–26)

I was asked at 12 years old, why my body didn’t resemble those of other girls my age. That was the beginning of the slow fracturing of my self-image. And over the next two decades, I lived in the shadow of this mental picture I had of feminine perfection – one I came to call the “Other Woman”.

In 2019, the year I turned 30, Kallos featured me on their cover as one of the founding members of the faith-based publication Thir.st. Any excitement I felt came to a sharp end, however, the day I saw the chosen photo from our shoot. And the thought of thousands of girls seeing me and my body, uglier than I had ever expected it to look, crushed me.

Soon after the issue was released, a friend of a friend asked me out for dinner. Her name was See Ting, or Seets for short. I only knew her then as the girl with alopecia, which had caused her to lose most of her hair by her early twenties. After the meal, having heard her heart for young women who struggled with their self-worth as she did, I connected her with Kallos.

Seets went on to be the next Kallos cover story. But just as the issue was headed to print, she discovered that she had an aggressive form of breast cancer at only 26 years old. This time, I reached out. We sat together on her bedroom floor, with the wig she usually wore left aside. She shared, in jest, that she didn’t have to fear losing her hair to chemotherapy because she had been bald for so long, and that she trusted God with her life.

This grace-filled confidence that Seets walked in was what the Lord used to change me profoundly throughout our brief but deep friendship. With that grace, she confronted my dislike for my body, the way she had been confronted all those years ago with alopecia. She declared her love for everything I was, even if I couldn’t. When I suddenly developed Bell’s palsy and wrestled with having half my face frozen in paralysis, she sat with me and prayed over me as I came to a new place of surrender of my own beauty and self-worth to God.

For so long, women have been pitted against each other, compared and ranked until competition becomes second nature. In the Bible, there is Rachel and Leah, and Mary and Martha. And then there is me and all the other girls I failed to look like. But through Seets, I found my self-worth not eclipsed by this Other Woman, but empowered by her love for me. My beauty was not devalued but redeemed by her beauty — her kindness, her wisdom, her strength and dignity. The beauty described in Proverbs 31:25-26 that culminates in the fear of the Lord being the most praiseworthy of all (v30).

It’s easy to read about the “excellent wife” described in Proverb 31:10–31 and see her as just another woman who’s got it all, instead of a personified combination of all the qualities that a wise person of God would have. She is not here to shackle us further but free us from the lies and empty pursuits keeping us sisters in chains. From starving ourselves or emptying our pockets for fashion (v25). From trying to outdo each other with how charming or beautiful we can be (v30).

Up until her passing in February 2021, Seets never used her wig again. Instead, she wore her lack of hair like a crown, calling forth a generation of women to do so with their own perceived lacking. She did not resemble other girls our age, but she looked and loved so much like Jesus to me.

JONK’S JOURNALS

A PRAYER
Dear Heavenly Father, You know the pain and insecurities about myself that I’ve carried in my heart through the years. Show me how You see each of us, that I may love myself and others the way You do. I desire beauty the way You define it. Amen.

JOURNAL THIS!
1. How do you see yourself in light of other girls? What are things you believe about yourself that may not align with how God sees you?

2. Have a conversation with the Lord. What is He saying to you? What does He want to heal and redeem for you? Who could He be bringing alongside to journey with you?

KNOW THE WORD
Allow the Holy Spirit to illuminate His truths on godly friendship in these passages:
– Ruth 1:16-18
– Luke 1:39-45
– Ecclesiastes 4:9-11

AFTERTHOUGHTS
Check out Seets’s Kallos story here.

And my own paraphrase of Proverb 31 here.

How Do I Engage With Friends Of Different Religious Views?

Jackie Hwang — Tue, 01 Mar 2022 14:58:00 +0000

It’s never easy to start a conversation that may end up in disagreement, especially when it comes to matters of faith. How can we do it in a respectful way? JACKIE HWANG relates her experience of sharing the gospel with those with different religious views.

You might have heard of the Great Commission which tells us to “make disciples of all nations” (Matt 28:18–20). This is Jesus’ command to share the gospel with those who do not know Him. For some of us, this command may be difficult because we don’t know how to engage with friends who already have different religious views from ours.

I vividly remember the time in secondary school when, in response to my history teacher’s critique of Christianity,

THE EVERYDAY ENCOUNTERS OF GOD’S GOODNESS ARE USUALLY THE MOST RELATABLE AND CONVINCING.

I defended my faith, something that led to my classmates making fun of me. At the time, I felt embarrassed and confused. Later, in my university days, there was another awkward encounter when my Jewish friend, with a smirk, turned down my invitation to a Christian event. You may have had similar experiences of feeling at a loss for words with friends who have different religious views from yours. So how are we supposed to share the gospel when it seems so difficult to talk to them about the Christian faith?

START WITH A CONVERSATION

Looking back at these two episodes, I would probably say to my younger self, “Be patient about sharing the gospel. Start first with a conversation about other things.” We see that Jesus did this in His encounter with a Samaritan woman (John 4:1–42). He started the conversation with a request for a drink of water, which led to a deeper discussion, and only then did Jesus talk to her about spiritual topics. In the same way, we can slowly work toward a level of understanding and trust with others that makes it possible to talk about deeper things such as our belief in God.

You can start simply by talking with your friend about things you have in common. In one of your conversations, you may find a natural point to share about God. It could be an experience where God has answered a prayer or something tangible that they can relate to. It doesn’t have to be a miraculous event or a well-rehearsed gospel presentation. The everyday encounters of God’s goodness are usually the most relatable and convincing.

BE WILLING TO LISTEN

Another thing that I would tell my younger self would be to listen to the different religious views out there and think about how to connect them to God’s truth. The Bible story that offers us a good example of this approach is found in Acts 17:16–34. In this passage, Paul engaged the Greek philosophers at Athens using their own religion. What he did was, in taking notice of their worship of an “unknown God”, he used this void in their religious belief to proclaim to them the true God of heaven and earth.

What Paul did may seem too difficult for us, since after all, Paul was well trained in religious ideas and a great missionary. However, the lesson we can take from Paul is to start by listening to our friends talk about what they believe. If we are willing to listen, we can understand their belief systems better.

A simple way to start could be to ask and listen to why and how they celebrate certain religious holidays or engage in certain practices. This may not lead to any gospel sharing, but it would build a “gospel bridge” — a connection to talk to friends about religious matters even though you have different views.

As you learn about the religious views of others, think about which aspects are similar to or different from our faith. It could be that you realise there are things about Christianity that confuse you, and it might be necessary to consult a pastor or Christian leader who knows more. But you will slowly build up the knowledge needed to have meaningful conversations with friends about different religious views. Eventually, you will develop a comfort level in knowing how to find an entry point for the gospel. And it all starts with the act of listening to them.

BE CONFIDENT BUT NOT JUDGMENTAL

Returning to my experience when my classmates mocked my Christian faith, I would also tell my younger self to remain confident in my Christian faith but not be judgmental or too defensive toward others who disagree. Having a wrong attitude will erect barriers for conversations with people who have different views. At the same time, my faith does not need to crumble under their criticism.

In the two Bible stories mentioned above (John 4:1–42; Acts 17:16–34), both Jesus and Paul confidently shared the gospel with those who believed differently without being judgmental or defensive, even when some rejected their message. Jesus and Paul offer us good examples of how to stand firm in our faith without becoming hostile toward those who believe differently.

It is important to keep this principle in mind especially when you face the more controversial issues for which the Christian position is called into question. These could be questions on the validity of Bible,

HAVING A WRONG ATTITUDE WILL ERECT BARRIERS FOR CONVERSATIONS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE DIFFERENT VIEWS.

the Christian position on LGBTQ+, or the ethics of abortion. Remember that you can agree to disagree whilst remaining clear about what you stand for and being respectful of others’ different views.

LET YOUR LIFE SPEAK

Finally, the way we live often speaks louder than our words. Authenticity matters! It is important that we live out godly lives which are consistent with the gospel message that we want to share with others. Note that this is not a holier-than-thou or no-room-for-error life. Rather, the point is to live honestly with our shortcomings, to be humble about our need to depend on God, to be sincere in the words we speak, and to be compassionate to the weak as God is.

If we can live a life where God’s transformation in us is visible to our friends, our lives will speak about the authenticity of our faith better than any convincing arguments we use. So, living a God-centred life is our witness. Therefore, combining a credible witness with our willingness to listen, to enter into conversations, and to not be judgmental in presenting our positions will be a winsome approach to engage our friends who have different religious views from us.

“I Ended a Relationship That Did Not Honour God”

Kallos Team — Tue, 01 Mar 2022 14:51:00 +0000

When I was in secondary school, I got into a relationship with a guy from my class. I kept the relationship a secret and only told my sister about it, approaching her whenever I had questions to ask or things to share about the relationship. One day, she cautioned me about having proper boundaries in a relationship and expressed her concern when I told her that it was a struggle for me. Ever since she brought up the topic of boundaries, I found that I could not share as freely about my relationship. Knowing that she would probe about my boundaries in the relationship, I started to avoid conversations about the relationship. I felt guilty that I found it difficult to keep clear boundaries. Despite knowing that her advice was probably wiser, I did not make a decisive choice to honour my sister then, and more importantly, I did not honour God in my relationship.

One evening, I finally told my parents about the relationship. It happened after countless moments of remembering one of the commandments from the Bible that said: “Honour your father and mother”. I was racked with guilt because I understood that not seeking my parents’ approval was equivalent to disrespect for God’s commandments. The Bible did not talk about dating, but as I went through numerous Christian articles about dating and after having a chat with my mentor from church, it was clear that if I wanted to honour God, I should do the things He wants for me.

When I told my mother about the relationship, her only response was, “Just stop it. You’re too young.” It was void of genuine care or efforts to understand what I was going through, and I was disappointed. I wished there had been more guidance given to a girl going through her first relationship. After my mother’s response, I did not end the relationship. Contrary to my parents’ expectations, I held on to the relationship that gave me the support I felt I could hardly find elsewhere.

As the O-level examinations approached, I put matters surrounding the relationship aside to focus on my studies. Thereafter, I had time to properly think about what I should do. I reflected on the fact that I had rushed into a relationship without realising that it was not Christ-centred, as much as I tried to shape it as one that was. Without clearly defined boundaries in the relationship, I was often distracted by spending time with the guy rather than having my quiet time with God. Throughout the relationship, I also noticed that we sometimes disagreed with each other when it came to talking about the future of our relationship and that we did not really relate to each other on spiritual matters. I came to the point of considering that, maybe, we were not walking together spiritually.

I eventually ended the relationship after deciding that it would be for the best: a relationship with blurred boundaries, disagreements on Christianity, and disapproval from my parents was not a God-honouring one. I won’t forget the days after the break-up, when I would burst into tears out of nowhere, and the numbing moments when my emotions have seemingly been exhausted. But I don’t regret the decision I made. God gave me grace and strength to recover from it and I know now that God does not shortchange me. Because of His greater plans for me in singlehood, I am able to focus on serving His people wholeheartedly in church, school, and the workplace. He has reassured me through His word that true joy is gained through obedience to Him.

I Can Do All Things Through Christ… Right?

Kallos Team — Tue, 01 Mar 2022 14:46:00 +0000

This familiar verse has been used in popular songs, encouragement cards, and often quoted by Christians to remind themselves they have the power through Christ to do all things. But what does this verse really mean in its context? In this new column, JANELLE YEO studies different Bible verses that are commonly misunderstood and sheds new light on them.

“Oh God, I am serving you as a leader in Dance ministry, I co-lead two youth cell groups and stay connected with them throughout the week, I teach tuition, make efforts to spend time with my family, and on top of all that, I have my CCA commitments in school and am studying Sociology with tons of reading and writing. Lord, I want to be good testimony to everyone around me by excelling in every area. You said I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me; so I claim your promise. Lord, strengthen me so that I can achieve all these and more for your glory. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

Sounds familiar? Perhaps, that is you too. Being a student in Singapore, we are typically wired to do more, achieve more. And growing up in church, it doesn’t help that adults often remind us to do well in order to be a good testimony to those around us. While this heart of instilling a spirit of excellence is not wrong, the reason of being a good testimony more often than not becomes an excuse, a pretense for our real motivation – to protect our pride and foster a (false) sense of fulfillment. Because if we truly want to be a good testimony for Christ, then shouldn’t the focus be more on our character and not our achievements? Shouldn’t it be focused more on others and not the self? So we aim to accomplish all these and claim Philippians 4:13, believing that God will help us attain our personal mission. But is this how the verse ought to be used? Let’s take a closer look and explore the letter further:

I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived your concern for me. You were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity. Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” (Phil 4:10-13, emphasis mine.)

THE BIG PICTURE

Kay Arthur, co-founder of Precept Ministries International, aptly summed up the four chapters as having joy in suffering. A quick google on the main message of Phililppians will also result in similar ideas such as “hope beyond suffering”, “joy in persecution”, and “true joy”. Well, you get the idea. At the heart of it, the epistle shows believers how and what it means to persevere in faith.

Writing from prison in Rome, Paul began his letter by sharing a testimony of how God had used his imprisonment for his glory. Instead of being chained to the guards, the guards were the ones chained to Paul as they were forced to hear the gospel whenever Paul preached! Now these guards were not just any other guards. These were palace guards, elite soldiers trained to be bodyguards for the Roman emperor. The influence and power they held at the time of Paul’s writing was so significant that they could affect who becomes the next emperor. Now, why did Paul choose to open his letter with this testimony? Was it to comfort the worried believers in Philippi? Not exactly. Paul’s main message, framing the rest of his letter, was this: Everything bad that had happened to him turned out to be good for the furtherance of the gospel (1:12). Whether he was beat up, imprisoned, or falsely accused, he recognised that all these only caused more people to believe in Jesus. These sufferings were turned around for the greater good. As such, Paul could fiercely and boldly rejoice in his hardship. It is in this setting that Paul wrote the famous Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” But what exactly does “all” encompass?

NO MATTER WHAT

Here in his closing, Paul thanked the Philippian church for their generosity in providing for his basic needs (4:10-16). At the same time, he also affirmed and highlighted to them that this was less about helping him survive than it was about sharing in his work for the gospel. By supporting Paul’s need, they were partaking in his missionary journey. They helped propel the gospel through their giving. But while he was appreciative of their support, his point was that these were, while needed, unnecessary because he had learned to endure all sorts of situations (4:11-13). Whether he was hungry or full, having little or plenty, experiencing comfort or suffering, for the sake of the gospel, he could overcome them all through Christ who strengthened him by teaching him contentment. This is what the “all” refers to – material and physical needs as Paul surrendered himself to the will of God.

Many a time, this verse is used as a blanket promise that focuses on what God can do for the individual. Instead of emphasising on Christ, emphasis is placed on “I” and “me”. It is a self-seeking prayer. Lord, help me. Lord, strengthen me. Lord, surely you can do this for me. Lord, do that for me. Me, me, me, me, me. But that is not how our relationship with Jesus ought to be. It is crucial to understand that God’s power to strengthen and provide falls subset to his will, not ours.

JOY IN OBEDIENCE

How then should we apply Philippians 4:13 to our modern day lives? What suffering can there be for us as we obey God’s will for our lives? I think of Dr Tam Wai Jia, a humanitarian doctor who recently left for Africa in obedience to God’s call to serve the helpless there. To be clear, she was given the option to work from home. After all, this would make more sense given that she has two young daughters. Yet, God spoke clearly to Dr Tam to get ready for the difficult journey of being on the ground to serve those in dire need and by doing so, show Christ to others whether in Africa or back home in Singapore. Like Paul, I’d imagine she would aptly pray Philippians 4:13, asking God to strengthen her as she deals with problems in getting accessible healthcare to the villages, or as she struggles with homesickness, being all alone without her family in Africa, or as she wrestles with the uncomfortable living conditions there.

But not all of us are Pauls or Dr Tams. God has given each and everyone of us a specific role to play in carrying out his will. Partaking in God’s work may not always mean frontline business. Remember the church in Philippi? They recognised the significance of supporting Paul in his needs. By providing him with aid, they play a part in sharing the gospel too. Perhaps your role is a role of support. Is there a missionary or a mission organisation you can support today? Or is there a neighbourhood outreach programme you can get involved in? Whatever God’s will is for you in the furtherance of his kingdom, be sure that obstacles are bound to happen. And when they do happen, I pray that you can overcome all these through Christ who strengthens you.

Dear Kallos: Is it possible to take God for granted?

Alina Teo — Tue, 01 Mar 2022 14:39:00 +0000

I’m just wondering, is it possible to take God for granted? How can I prevent myself from doing so? - Curious

dear Curious,

Thank you for your honest question. To me, taking someone for granted often happens when we don’t remember what the person has done or is doing for us. We fail to appreciate and even take advantage of the other person’s goodness or kindness by acting carelessly.

Therefore, simply put, yes, we can take God for granted if we carry wrong attitudes toward Him, place other people or things above Him, and fail to give Him the honour and glory He deserves. In His grace, God gives us the privilege to enter into a relationship with Him. If we do not grab hold of this privilege, we end up missing the weight of His sacrifice and taking Him for granted.

In the Bible, God constantly instructed the Israelites to remember. The Israelites were told to tell of God’s wonders to their children (e.g. Deut 6; Joel 1:3, Ps 145:4), so that each generation would not forget what God had done. God keeps calling His people to remember, as He knows how forgetful humans are (e.g. Isa 17:10; Jer 2:32; Hos 8:14).

By choosing to keep recalling His goodness and love for us — such as through regular Bible-reading and prayer — we are actively fighting the tendency to take God for granted. God Almighty laid aside His majesty, humbled Himself to come to us as Jesus (Phil 2:6–8), and gave His life for us in order to redeem us to Himself (Mark 10:45; Gal 2:20). I personally would not want to take such a God for granted. Rather, my prayer is that I may surrender my life to Him, and empty myself of my privileges so that God may use me for His purposes. I pray that this would be your heart’s desire too.

Soul Sisters

Kallos Team — Tue, 01 Mar 2022 03:20:00 +0000

ALONE WITH GOD

“Hey Elang, how has your walk with Jesus been?” Throughout my life in the Youth Ministry at church, I’d hear this question — asked by my peers and seniors — a lot. I would always respond in the same polite and distant way, “It’s been alright, thank you!” even if I was actually struggling in my relationship with Christ. This was because I did not feel a sense of community at church, and I struggled to share my personal feelings with people that I merely saw once a week. Everyone else seemed to have a group of sisters or brothers in Christ that they were close to, but somehow I found myself all alone.

I had been a Christian ever since I was very young, and had gone to church regularly since kindergarten age. My personal walk with Christ was relatively smooth and there weren’t any major disruptions in my relationship with Jesus. However, I struggled most with finding a close group of friends in church. Somehow, I just felt like I wasn’t able to find my place and relate with the other youths. I felt disappointed at my lack of social skills as I watched others grow closer with one another without me. I remember myself wondering often, am I just not destined to have a group of like-minded friends to journey with me in my walk with Jesus?

I had participated in the annual December Youth camp since I was 12 years old, and I had always had a great time with my groupmates. Yet, I remember that during one of these camps, when I was 14, I was overwhelmed with disappointment as I realised how distant I was from the church community, and saw everyone in fellowship without me.

I FELT A VOID IN MY HEART AS I FELL INTO A DEEP, DARK HOLE OF HOPELESSNESS.

On the last worship night of the camp, it was hard for me to concentrate on God as I looked around and saw everyone with their friends, while I stood all alone at the side. I felt a void in my heart as I fell into a deep dark hole of hopelessness. It was like my feelings of expectancy were being blanketed by despondency.

Soon, I decided that it was probably best for me to keep my Christian journey private between God and me, attempting to forget about the community aspect. I tried my best to do my own quiet times and devotionals weekly, hoping that this would work out and I can just focus on my personal relationship with God. I convinced myself that as long as I am faithful in my private walk with God, that’s all that matters, and a Christian community would not be needed anymore. But I knew I was in denial, and that there was more to a Christian life than this.

A BEAUTIFUL INVITATION

Time went by and soon enough I was 16 years old — the last year in my secondary school before graduating! This was a very special year for me, as it was when I was invited to join a small group of girls from my level to meet weekly for Bible Study.

I vividly remember walking up the stairs in school with my close friend, Lois, when she asked me to join her and two other girls that Wednesday morning for a time of fellowship. She excitedly shared how she envisioned a close knit group of girls sitting on the roof of our school studying the Bible together — with God’s presence there with them. Even though that conversation only lasted a few minutes, I could feel that this was God’s doing and He was definitely in the process of making something beautiful.

Right before our very first Bible Study session, I felt a slight sense of fear in my heart, as I was worried about not being able to relate to the other girls, especially since, apart from Lois, I did not know them very well. However, my anxieties were quelled as I felt a strange familiarity and unexpected sense of connection with the girls during the session. We shared our personal testimonies and thoughts on the topic of the session, and excitedly discussed the Bible. I felt God speak to me through them as they gave advice on things I’d been struggling with, and a sense of warmth engulfed my heart. Not only did we grow closer to one another, we also grew closer to God together as a group.

I FELT GOD SPEAK TO ME THROUGH THEM AS THEY GAVE ADVICE ON THINGS I’D BEEN STRUGGLING WITH, AND A SENSE OF WARMTH ENGULFED MY HEART.

BEING PART OF A COMMUNITY

After a few weeks of being in this Bible Study group, it dawned on me that God gave me this lovely group of girls as a community where I can feel at home and walk together in our journey with Christ. Our personal walks with Jesus are crucial and should not be neglected, but having a good group of peers sharing the same mindset and love for God is also equally important! God placed this Bible verse, 1 Corinthians 12:25-27, in my heart: “So that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honoured, every part rejoices with it. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.”

In the year ahead, we embarked on Bible Study plans together and cheered one another on when we were upset or stressed. Together, we experienced the importance of sisterhood and having a community in Christ. I was so touched to see how, even though we came from different backgrounds, God brought us together to worship God and learn more about Him. I remember at one particular Bible Study session, we were discussing the topic of free will and purpose in our lives. Although some of us had slightly differing views, we had an insightful and heartfelt discussion on what our purpose is as Christians in this world. It really felt as though they were my Soul Sisters!

Being a part of this new group, my relationship with Christ grew a lot stronger and I definitely matured greatly in my Christian walk. With the help of my Soul Sisters, I learnt to fully place my trust in Jesus and have faith in His ultimate plan when going through tough times. As the void in my heart was finally filled with love and peace, I became a lot more intentional with my devotionals and overall relationship with God!

I also started to actively look out for brothers and sisters in Christ who were feeling a little left out from the community to drop them a prayer and journey with them, and it made me realise how big God’s family is. It dawned on me that no one should ever be alone in our walk with Christ. With my Soul Sisters, I experienced that there was always someone out there willing to lend a helping hand, who would show no judgement when we opened up about our problems — and I wanted to share this experience with others like me.

If you are struggling with finding a Christian community, don’t give up yet! Don’t lose hope in God even if you feel like you can’t find your place in the community in church. God’s family extends across the physical church’s borders, and He will bless you with a loving and caring community that can come together to give Him the highest praise as long as we keep faith.