Issue 51 – Kallos

Surrendering My Sister

Kallos Team — Fri, 01 Apr 2022 07:44:00 +0000

With the knowledge that time with her sister is limited, AMANDA NG determined to make every moment count. She shares the joys, heartaches, and rewards of leaving school to care for her sister.

When my sister was born, I was prepared to be a good older sister. I planned to protect my baby sister from bullies and anyone that would hurt her. But what I didn’t know was that I couldn’t protect Amelia from the realities of life. While other siblings are journeying together through their school life, dating life, work life, or eventually marriage life, Amelia and I are journeying towards making memories before death knocks on her door.

Amelia was a smart toddler growing up and I loved her company. However, when she was around 14 months old, my mum started noticing that Amelia was crying and hitting her head with her hands a lot. She brought Amelia to the doctors but no one was able to explain what was wrong. After a few more months, my mum realised that Amelia was struggling to crawl. From that year on, we saw a rapid decline in her condition. She was losing all her physical abilities. By the time she turned two, she was unable to crawl, sit, or babble. When she was five, Amelia started having seizures that were so severe that she needed the strongest epilepsy drug available. My younger sister that was once able to sit and call me jiejie (Mandarin for older sister) is now bed-bound, tube-fed, and requiring round-the-clock care.

A STEP OF FAITH

There was a time when Amelia was frequently admitted to the hospital, and every few months, we had to visit her in the high dependency ward or the Intensive Care Unit (ICU). As a family, we have had to learn how to remove her phlegm via suction so that it doesn’t obstruct her airways. There are also moments when Amelia’s oxygen rate can drop, causing her to turn pale and blue due to the lack of oxygen to her brain, which is life-threatening. We have had to resuscitate Amelia with medical equipment to force air into her lungs to help her breathe again.

One day when I was 13 years old, when my dad and I arrived home after he had picked me up from school, we heard screams. Inside the house, I saw my 10-year-old sister looking lifeless and turning a pale blue. Miraculously, my dad succeeded in getting her breathing again. That night while Amelia was in the hospital, I couldn’t sleep. I wondered, if I had lost Amelia today, did I made enough memories with her?

I WONDERED, IF I HAD LOST AMELIA TODAY, HAD I MADE ENOUGH MEMORIES WITH HER?

Towards the end of the 2017, God dropped the idea of home-schooling into my heart. It was something I had never considered, but it was the only way I could spend more time with my younger sister. When I approached my parents about it, their answer was a firm NO! However, a few weeks later, God showed my mum that home-schooling isn’t just about my education. It was giving me an opportunity to explore my life the way God wanted. We prayed as a family and felt peace to go ahead with the school withdrawal after my Secondary 2 year-end exams.

GLORIFYING GOD’S NAME

Through my four years of home-schooling, Amelia and I have become best friends. As Amelia is non-verbal, communication looks different for us. It requires patience from both parties, and can sometimes feel like a guessing game. Amelia was often frustrated when we couldn’t understand her, so my mum taught her to blink or swallow her saliva if she wants to say yes, and to ignore us when she wants to say no. In 2018, we started Amelia on an eye-gazing device in the hope that it would help her communicate with us. With the help of a therapist and the eye-gazing community, she was able to use icons to communicate her thoughts and views. She was able to play games with her eyes, draw, and finally tell us what she likes and dislikes. The machine gave Amelia her voice back!

After I started home-schooling, I took up the role of helping to resuscitate Amelia. I can barely keep track of the number of times I have had to do it. Our home has become like a mini ICU, with Amelia hooked up to oxygen tanks and various machines to keep her alive. One night in June 2020, Amelia was admitted into ICU. Her condition had become so critical that the doctors didn’t know if she was going to make it through the night. Her heart rate, blood pressure, and temperature were lower than usual. During that season, many came forward to share these verses with us:

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” (Psalm 139:13–14)

The verses reminded us as a family that Amelia was created wonderfully and made specially by God. Amelia is not a mistake and she is here to glorify God’s name. When we brought Amelia home, the doctors told us that she was going to die soon. The fact that she made it through that night was already a miracle. The fact that she is alive today is a wonder. To this day, no one knows how her body is coping with a very low temperature of 32–34 degrees and a low heart rate when she is asleep.

WALKING IN SURRENDER

Time and time again, God has shown us that despite her physical challenges, He created Amelia perfectly in every way. Death is not a taboo subject in our family. Amelia has experienced countless near-death experiences, and each time she comes back to us, she confirms that she has seen Jesus, and I believe she truly has. Whenever we ask her if she knows what heaven is, and whether she believes that God has His plan for her and His plan isn’t finished, she swallows to tell us “yes”. Despite all the trials in her life, Amelia is now a teenager with so much strength and will to live. Even so, I strongly believe that it is only by God’s love and His grace upon my family that she has lived this long.

HE IS IN CONTROL OF AMELIA’S LIFE AND HER JOURNEY WITH US.

Just a week before Amelia’s 15th birthday last year, she was finally given a diagnosis for her condition — Infantile Neuroaxonal Dystrophy (INAD). This rare condition with no cure affects only 150 kids living worldwide. Amelia is the first case in Singapore. Children with INAD eventually lose their physical and mental skills, and most pass on before the age of 10. That stunned us. Statistically, Amelia was supposed to have died five years ago! It was like God telling us once again that He is in control of Amelia’s life and her journey with us.

Our family has made the difficult decision to not bring Amelia back to the hospital if her condition becomes critical again, because Amelia wants to receive palliative care at home and leave this world with everyone she loves and everyone who loves her by her side. It’s the toughest decision we have made but we know that as the time draws nearer, God has been preparing us gently as a family.

INAD has stolen everything from Amelia — from the ability to stand, crawl, and cry when she was a child, to the ability to breathe, eat, and move on her own now. But one thing that INAD will never steal is her fighting spirit. We don’t know if Amelia will make it to her 16th birthday this year, but I know that she is a warrior, a fighter, and a light to many others.

Her life is a miracle that medical science says is impossible. But just as Jesus says in Matthew 19:26, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Who Made God?

Jackie Hwang — Fri, 01 Apr 2022 07:35:00 +0000

You may have heard that everything in the universe is made by God, but then, who made God? JACKIE HWANG takes us on a thought exercise using logic to answer this question.

There are few questions harder to answer than “Who made God?” or “Where did God come from?” Western philosophers and theologians have pondered and debated these types of questions for a long time. But, because of our human limitations, we will never be able to verify any of the answers offered. Our best chances lie in using logic to address these questions. So, instead of trying to arrive at a 100-percent certain answer, let me take us through some steps to explore this issue using logic.

STEP 1: EVERYTHING IS CAUSED BY ANOTHER THING

The first step in our thought exercise is to recognise that everything and everyone in the universe came into being because something or someone caused it/him/her to enter into existence. To explain this, I will use two examples. The first example is a watch. If we were to see a watch in a shop, we would assume that the watch was made by either a watchmaker or a watchmaking machine at some point in time. The second example is a baby. If we were to see a baby, we would assume that the baby was birthed by a mother at some point in time. For both the watch and the baby, it is most logical that their existence was caused by another thing or another person.

STEP 2: NOTHING CAN COME INTO EXISTENCE BY ITSELF

After we recognise that everything and everyone’s existence was caused by another thing or person, we know that the statement in reverse must also be true. This is that nothing and no one can come into existence by it/him/herself. Using the same two examples as in step 1, we would say that it is impossible for a watch to make itself, and it is also impossible for a person to give birth to him/herself.

STEP 3: THE EXISTENCE OF A THING MEANS THERE NEEDS TO BE A CAUSE OF THE THING

Since the world around us has things and people, it is most logical that there is something or someone else that caused its/his/her existence. So, in the example of the watch, its existence means that someone or something else made it. In the same way, your existence and mine mean someone else gave birth to us. So, the existence of a thing indicates the existence of a cause.

These first three steps establish the logical relationship between a thing and something else that caused it to exist. The thing and the cause cannot be the same item or step in the chain, and the thing’s existence means that there is also a cause. We can call this logical relationship thing-and-its-cause.

STEP 4: TRACING THE LOGIC OF THING-AND-ITS CAUSE LEADS BACK TO A BEGINNING OF ALL THINGS

Following the logic of thing-and-its-cause, we can trace this connection back to a time when there was a beginning cause which led to the existence of the thing/person. For the watch, the existence of a watch means that there is a watchmaker. The watchmaker was taught by someone else who knew how to make watches. The teacher of the watchmaker also learned his trade from another person. And, tracing all the way back, there must be a first teacher (or possibly multiple first teachers in different civilisations) of all subsequent watchmakers. As for human beings, the existence of you and me means that our mothers gave birth to us. Our mothers were birthed by their mothers. Tracing our ancestries all the way back, there must be a first mother who was the beginning of humanity.

STEP 5: THE FIRST BEGINNING OF EVERYTHING MUST BE THE FIRST CAUSE

After we trace everything back to a beginning, we must ask if there was also something or someone else that caused the beginning. The logic of step 2 tells us that the beginning also needs a cause other than itself. Antony Flew, a well-known atheist philosopher who later changed his mind about the existence of God, states, “Every system of explanation must start somewhere, and this starting point itself cannot be explained by the system.” This starting point would be known as the First Cause in philosophy. Flew later would admit that the First Cause is best identified as God.

In the example of the watch, God as the First Cause would be the One who made the universe, the sun, and the earth. The sun shines on the earth. The movement of shadows resulting from sunlight as the earth rotates led to the concept of the sundial to keep track of time. The sundial led to the invention of clocks and watches. Therefore, we have watchmakers and watches.

In the example of the baby, God as the First Cause would be the One who made humanity and gave us bodies with a reproductive system to perpetuate human existence. Therefore, we have fathers, mothers, children, and families.

STEP 6: GOD AS THE FIRST CAUSE CANNOT BE MADE OR CAUSED BY SOMETHING ELSE

If we recognise that the First Cause must be God, then God cannot be made by something or someone else. If He is made by someone else, then He would no longer be the First Cause. The other thing that made God would be the First Cause. Then, the other thing that is the real First Cause would actually be God. God must be the First Cause; otherwise, He is no longer God. According to this line of reasoning, the logical answer to the question of “Who made God?” is that no one made Him. For Him to be God, He has to always exist and not be made. This requires some serious thought, but God is God because He is not made by anything or anyone else, and is always and forever in existence (John 1:1–4; Col 1:16–17)!

LOCKDOWN ON A SHIP: MISSIONS DURING THE PANDEMIC

Kallos Team — Fri, 01 Apr 2022 05:11:00 +0000

The Covid-19 pandemic brought much a world to a stop, and many of us found ourselves hunkered down in our homes under lockdown. Hear Priscilla Lee share her story of missions with ANGEL MAE and SHIWEI QUEK, as she endured a months-long lockdown and pandemic onboard the missionary ship Logos Hope, journeying the seas for almost two years.

Meeting Priscilla on Zoom, we were struck by the world map above her bed, a fitting reminder of her two years travelling the seas aboard the Logos Hope ship. From September 2019 to August 2021, Priscilla served as a community-engagement volunteer and graphic designer, doing missions work like teaching English to Brazilian kids, street evangelism, interacting with homeless people, facilitating international showcases onboard the ship, and assisting in operating the world’s largest floating bookstore. She rattled off a list of countries she visited — Barbados, Brazil, St. Lucia, The Bahamas, Jamaica, Curaçao, Guyana, St. Vincent and the Grenadines, Trinidad and Tobago. They sounded like honeymoon destinations and conjure up images of Pirates of the Caribbean! Straightforward and sincere, Priscilla felt like an old friend whom one wants to catch up with, after living out an adventure of a lifetime.

Why did you choose to serve God in missions on board Logos Hope?

I actually received a prophecy from a pastor’s daughter who said that one day, I would share the gospel on an international scale. I have kept that in mind since I was a teenager. I didn’t know about the ship, but I let myself be exposed to opportunities relating to evangelism and missions to see for myself whether this prophecy was actually from God. In 2018, at the GoForth missions conference, I learnt about Operations Mobilisation (OM) and Logos Hope. Interestingly, one month before I went to the conference, I had a friend who received a painting. It’s a scene of the sea, and in the middle, there’s a full moon, and a boat. When she gave me the painting, I asked her, “What is this for?” She said, “I don’t know, I only know it’s for you.” When I was reflecting on what I had taken away from the conference, suddenly the painting came into my consciousness. And the question that popped up in my mind, as if God was asking me, was, “Do you want to consider going on board the ship?” Yeah, so that’s how it started.

What was it like doing missions on board Logos Hope?

It was a great, great, great challenge, but I matured a lot. I started off my time on board on a difficult note because I was struggling with my purpose on the ship. Other than one week a day when I got to interact with the locals, I was just working in the ship kitchen, scrubbing the pots and pans, sometimes preparing food for the ship crew members. There were 400–500 people on board before the pandemic, and we had to prepare three meals a day.

When the pandemic hit, I experienced a lot of grief for nearly a year because my close friends left the ship one after another. When the pandemic started, the airports stayed closed or countries were waiting to lockdown. So whenever there was an opportunity to get chartered flights from their countries’ embassies, they quickly seized the opportunity to return home. It was always very sudden. Some of them gave me two weeks’ notice, or even left in a day. The worst was a friend who left in two hours. On top of that, there was no ministry work. I was really struggling with my purpose there and the overwhelmingly difficult emotions.

How did the pandemic change things?

The greatest hit was on the book fair. Before the pandemic, a lot of locals would come on board to buy books and interact with the international community because it was very rare for them to meet international people. The books are cheaper than local rates, so it gives them an incentive to come on board. We had to close the book fair for 16 months before we moved it on shore so it was convenient for locals to buy books. But even then it wasn’t, of course, as big as the book fair on the ship. We also waited for seven months to finally be able to have weekly ministry work.

But God is working mightily during the pandemic, even today. For more than a year, He kept 250 to 300 crew members on the ship safe from the Covid-19 virus. I think that is a miracle, because there were so many of us, and if one person gets it, the whole ship can get infected because ventilation is poor. Last year, the St. Vincent and the Grenadines government provided free Covid-19 vaccination for the ship crew members. That continued to keep us safe, which is not something that comes along easily. We were in the Caribbean area for 20 months and we thank God there wasn’t any danger from pirates. We had funding issues due to the pandemic, and there were times when we didn’t have enough food. We had to ration our food because of shipping container delay issues, but God made sure that we had enough till the containers came in. There were times we almost ran out of water when we were locked down in Jamaica, but thank God He provided adequate water throughout the two years.

I WAS REALLY STRUGGLING WITH MY PURPOSE THERE AND THE OVERWHELMINGLY DIFFICULT EMOTIONS.

What kept you going during the tough times on the ship?

The first three months while we were in lockdown, it still felt alright because we still had a routine and continued to work in our departments. There were times when my mum asked me, ‘’Do you want to come back home and go back to the ship when the situation is better?” Some of my friends decided to shorten their time on Logos Hope. I had to decide for myself what to do. “What should I do during these remaining months on board?” That caused a lot of anxieties for more than a year and lot of helplessness. I felt quite depressed as well. I was homesick and after a year I slipped into a stage where I didn’t feel emotions anymore. I’m very grateful to God that He gave me a strong conviction and also adequate finances to stay on board. If not, I would have given up and come home. I had close friends on board that I could confide in, which is really a blessing, because it’s not easy to find friends that one can easily click with. I often forgot that they are from another country because we could be so real with each other. My mum also initiated more catch-ups with my family. The internet on the ship was really quite bad, so the times I could do video calls with friends and family helped a lot.

What impacted you most on the ship?

We learned some basic eye check-ups that we could do for people, and I was in charge of giving out prescription glasses with the degree that fit their level of eyesight. In St. Lucia, what hit me was seeing the smile on their faces after receiving a simple pair of glasses. I asked them, “How will this actually impact your daily life?” The context is that they went through a hurricane in September 2019,

IN THE HURRICANE, THEY LOST THEIR EYEGLASSES, FOR MORE THAN A YEAR, THEY COULDN’T SEE PROPERLY.

and right after that, the pandemic hit, so it was a double blow for them. They lost their jobs, family members, accommodations, and their children couldn’t go to school for more than a year. In the hurricane, some lost their eyeglasses. For more than a year, they couldn’t see properly. With the glasses, they now had the ability to go back to their jobs and lifestyles before the hurricane. It was quite a significant improvement. Through this ministry work, it hit me that I really want to be equipped with a particular skill to bring practical help to people. I was talking to a friend who does social work, and she told me, “You’re very suitable to do social work.” I’m slowly entering into the social sector because of the impact of the ship’s eyeglasses ministry and have enrolled into Singapore Bible College’s School of Counselling.

What is the one thing you hope our readers take away from your story?

No matter how difficult the situation is, when everything comes to a stop and we are not sure how things will turn out, we may long for the past, but in fact something new is birthing. We can still hang on and go through the process with the daily grace and mighty strength of God.

How to follow Jesus on social media

Kallos Team — Fri, 01 Apr 2022 05:07:00 +0000

Digital creator STEPHANIE PHUA explores how we can keep Christ at the centre of our social media use.

There’s a lot I don’t like about social media, so I’ll admit it: when God called me to work in the social media space, I was a little upset. And annoyed. Maybe more than a little.

For a bit of context on my career — I run an advertising agency that focuses on creating content on social media. As the years have gone by, I have had more and more experience creating content both on my personal platform and for my clients. But the truth is that some days, I struggle to find meaning and purpose on social media.

It has been an interesting journey, especially as someone who was born into a world where the Internet hadn’t existed yet. The convenience of access to the interwebs now has thrust our generation into having to navigate a whole new world. It’s scary that a channel that reflects our identity and makes it accessible to the rest of the world is so easily available through a smartphone that exists in our pockets.

THE BEST THING THAT I CAN DO IS TO FOLLOW JESUS. EVEN ON SOCIAL MEDIA.

Taking a look around every time I step into a public space, especially on public transport, it wouldn’t be surprising to see people glued to their screens scrolling through one of the many social media platforms — TikTok, YouTube or Instagram. It often amazes me how much has changed!

Being an introvert and someone who enjoys deeper conversations with people IRL, and who is disinclined to broadcast my life on social, I’ve had to press in deep on what it means to navigate this space as a believer. As I’ve journeyed through this, I have come to realise that just as with any aspect of my life, the best thing that I can do is to follow Jesus. Even on social media.

DON’T FORGET YOUR IDENTITY

Social media has a way of trying to rob you of your identity and redefining it. The Internet says you’ll be more ‘liked’ if you take nice photos, edit them well, have flawless skin, and do a mean TikTok dance. You’ll get more attention if you have an opinion that is loud, strong, and divisive. You’ll be more accepted if you share the sentiments of the echo chamber.

It’s easy to get swept up and link your identity too closely to the numbers online; it is crucial to have the discipline to remind yourself where your identity lies. You are a daughter of Christ. You are loved, you are chosen, you are redeemed — no matter how many followers you have on your platform.

As we are called to be salt and light in a world that needs them to taste and see the goodness of God (Matt 5:13–16), you are an influencer no matter how many or few followers you have. There is no need to chase numbers. There is no need for likes to validate you. See yourself how God sees you, not through the lens of others.

Your Father loves you for who you are and it is He who has also given you this platform for your voice to be heard Because of its proliferation, social media is a powerful channel that can be used for outreach, which leads me to the next point — that it’s crucial that we see it as a gift that should be stewarded well.

STEWARD IT WELL

Jesus says in Matthew 5:15 that nobody lights a lamp and puts it under a bowl: “instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.” In the same vein, I do believe that social media can be a “stand” we can leverage to give light to those around us, “that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

I used to take to Instagram stories as an outlet for my emotions: if I was tired, feeling angsty or annoyed in general, it was an easy way for me to rant to others, get validation from my friends, and move on with life. It took a fellow believer to point out that my social media platform should be treated as a sacred space, especially so if I felt called to

YOU ARE AN INFLUENCER NO MATTER HOW MANY OR FEW FOLLOWERS YOU HAVE.

ministry in this space. Were we not called to “do everything without grumbling or arguing” (Phil 2:14)? If I aired such emotions on my public platform in such a self-centred and negative way, was I painting a positive picture of what a Christian should be?

WHAT WOULD JESUS POST? DOES WHAT YOU POST GLORIFY GOD?

That made me a lot more intentional about the content I was posting. To ensure that what I’m posting sets a good example of Christian living, I’ve set certain guardrails to examine the condition of my heart — a heart check, if you will — before posting anything, anywhere:

Why are you posting? For connection? Affirmation? Pride?
What has God called you to steward in this space? What topics should you lend your voice to?
What would Jesus post? Does what you post glorify God?
How can you love others through this channel?
How can we amplify the truth of what we know through this channel? Is it always right to keep quiet about certain topics? Count the cost of speaking up or staying silent.

DRAW BOUNDARIES

Proverb 4:23 states, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Let’s get real — social media is one of the distractions that has easiest access to your heart. What is it you reach for, first thing in the morning? When both the Word of God and Instagram exist on the same device, I’ll be honest in admitting that I often struggle to choose the Bible over social media. Beyond time spent idling on the platforms, another way the enemy could rob us of quality time with our Father would be getting us to be invested in the lives of influencers or celebrities. Here’s a great question to consider: should you be limiting your screen time so that you don’t allow these things to become idols? Create your own boundaries for when, where, and how long you use social media, so that you can choose to guard your heart with the wisdom of God.

ARISE, SHINE

Just as I had to learn that there should not be any distinction between my identity at church and my identity elsewhere, living authentically in Christ means that there should also not be any distinction between my identity online and my identity offline.

In a space that glorifies appearances and champions cancelling, we need to be a generation that dares to be counter-cultural, so that others can experience the goodness of God through our channels.

Let us commit to staying in step with God as we journey through life and learn about our identities, our unique voices, and our callings. Let us live our lives authentically in Christ, no matter where we find ourselves — in our homes, workplaces, churches, on social media, the metaverse, and beyond.

Kill It With Kindness

Kallos Team — Fri, 01 Apr 2022 05:03:00 +0000

Perhaps you know someone who has been flamed or cancelled online, or experienced cyberbullying and threats. Or perhaps you are that person. What should you do when faced with unkindness online? CAROL LOI, digital literacy educator, mum, and youth coach, shares her personal story and how she overcame getting cancelled.

Having been active on social media for the past 15 years, I have seen how technology has evolved, and have experienced the good and the bad on social media. I made new friends and caught up with old ones, learned from others’ experiences, and have had opportunities to reach out to people in their times of need.

However, sometimes social media isn’t a safe place. As I talk to young people, I hear stories of cyberbullying, flaming, gossip, and betrayal, causing them to feel afraid of speaking up on social media for truth and justice in case they are ‘cancelled’ online. I am not exempt from this fear as well.

GETTING FLAMED

Early last year, there was a public discussion on a youth’s experience with gender dysphoria. Perhaps you remember it too. The government ministry involved clarified its position on its social media platform and the post attracted much criticism. I saw the online commotion and noticed that there was a perspective that was missing. The ministry had provided its position, the youth shared their experience, but the voice of the parents of the youth did not surface anywhere. As a digital literacy educator, I have developed the skill of identifying what is missing in a narrative, but was hesitant to point that out in the midst of a heated public argument. As usual, I prayed before engaging in the controversial conversation online, to ask God if I was supposed to be involved.

Sensing a ‘’yes,’’ I took a deep breath, and put up a short post to thank the ministry for its efforts in managing the situation, and made a call to the public to provide the youth as well as the parents space to discuss and resolve the issue in the best interest of the youth. I was quickly flamed for using the gender pronoun that the ministry used in the post to refer to the youth. I was called names, accused of hating others, and the hate toward me spread to other social media platforms. My friends texted me to show me the posts, and were concerned for me.

I had expected unpleasant comments, but did not expect the extent of people’s anger, including attempts to discredit and remove me from my capacities in my professional and community work.

HOW DO I FACE THE FLAMES?

Over the years there have been people who threatened my safety on different social media platforms. There were people who tracked down my ministry and wrote to others in my industry with the aim of cancelling me.

FEELINGS SUCH AS ANGER, FEAR, AND ANXIETY WERE HIGH AT THE START OF SUCH EPISODES.

Feelings such as anger, fear, and anxiety were high at the start of such episodes. I would get angry at accusations against me. I was afraid of what the accusers could possibly do to me and my family. I was tempted to also digitally trace the people who tried to cancel me. I was upset that I needed to spend energy to deal with false accusations when I could have been supporting another child, youth, parent, or educator in my professional and community work. It felt like my precious time had been stolen from me and I couldn’t report the theft to anyone.

I have mixed feelings about such incidents. On the one hand, I really dislike the negative emotions. On the other hand, I have learned that these incidents are great opportunities for me to apply my biblical worldview, asking myself: “Why do I do what I do?”; “How can I do what I do better as an ambassador of Christ?”; and “What is my role in God’s Grand Story through this situation?” These incidents are also excellent opportunities for me to experience what the fruit of the Spirit looks like in practice (Gal 5:22–23).

I PRAYED FOR THOSE WHO WERE ANGRY WITH ME.

Perhaps you have faced the sting of nasty words against you, or the betrayal of having your secrets or images posted online. After reflecting on last year’s ordeal, the following thoughts come to mind, which I hope helps anyone fighting fires online.

I CAN PRAY WITH CONFIDENCE

I prayed before I engaged online to ask God if it is something that I should do, and if so, I asked Him to be with me as I did. I prayed during the ordeal when I read what others said about me and found out what others were doing to me. I prayed whenever I felt anger and the temptation to take revenge.

In the few times when I needed to make clarifications against accusations, I prayed for wisdom to use the right words, doing my best to respond with gentleness and respect. I prayed for those who were angry with me, and was reminded that their anger may not be caused by me, but rooted in their past hurts that they may have experienced. Whenever I engaged with God even as I engaged online, I felt His love and shalom peace, which helped me through whatever emotion or temptation I faced.

I also rallied others to pray for me. The wisdom and responses from my friends, especially when they prayed for me and sent me verses to meditate upon, greatly comforted me. I was really thankful that God sent people around me in my times of need.

I AM PART OF A GRANDER STORY

I was reminded of God’s Grand Story, which culminated when Jesus died on the cross and rose again. Now that I am reconciled with God through Christ, I have been given the ministry of reconciliation (2 Cor 5:18). I am to use all my gifts, talents, and time to reconcile others to Christ. I do not need to engage in every situation, but I am called to do what I can with what God has given me. I want to be an effective ambassador of Christ (2 Cor 5:20), so that even though others may not have read the Bible nor know who Jesus is, when they read my posts and responses to differing opinions online, they should see a reflection of Christ.

WHEN ONLINE FLAMES THREATEN TO ENGULF US, WE CAN KILL IT WITH KINDNESS, BALANCED WITH TRUTH

So when I see injustice or falsehoods, I check with God to ask what He wants me to do; sometimes I am to pray for those involved, and sometimes I am to provide perspectives that point others toward truth. At all times, I control myself and remind myself that it is not about me, but about how I am representing Christ.

I CAN KILL IT WITH KINDNESS

God reminded me to walk in the Spirit and not fulfil the lust of the flesh that includes hatred, hostility, outbursts of wrath, and conflict. Instead, my life should show the fruit of the Spirit — love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Gal 5:16–26). I need not allow unpleasant experiences to draw me into the lust of my flesh, but to seek the Holy Spirit’s still, small voice in guiding me through a difficult ordeal, to overcome and grow stronger because of it.

Developing the fruit of the Spirit is a lifelong process; the fruit can grow well when we stay in close relationship with God, develop spiritual habits, and stay in healthy communities in Christ who can cheer us on as we grow to be more like Jesus. When online flames threaten to engulf us, we can kill it with kindness, balanced with truth. The attacks against me took a few weeks to cool down and I’ve moved on from the incident. What remains is my desire to be a voice of truth and kindness, and to use social media for good. As we engage online with prayer, may we be a light for Christ!

Disconnect to Reconnect

Rachel Chan — Fri, 01 Apr 2022 04:59:00 +0000

Tired of living on screen time? RACHEL CHAN explores how we can disconnect ourselves from our devices and reconnect with life.

It is too easy these days to be constantly connected with the world through technology, but not truly be connected with anyone. When was the last time you allowed yourself to put your devices away and reconnect with real life?

If your answer is “a long time ago,” then it’s time to get started. Put away your devices (yes, including your phone!), leaving them out of sight and (hopefully) out of mind. When you don’t need them, leave them in a different room on silent mode. Better yet, set aside a specific time each day to leave your devices off or on airplane mode so that you aren’t tempted to use it. Start with 15 minutes a day and slowly extend it to an hour. You might be surprised at the difference it makes to your life.

Not convinced? Try it yourself! Challenge yourself to reconnect with the parts of your life that are often crowded out by noise and distraction.

Reconnect with God

It’s perfectly acceptable to use a digital Bible or utilise search engines to go in-depth into Bible study. However, our devices are more often a source of distraction rather than assistance as we are easily tempted to open another window or application.

Try having your quiet time using a physical Bible and notebook, with your phone in another room. When you meet a verse you’re unsure about, make a note to find out more about it later so you can stay focused on what you are reading now. Take uninterrupted time to pray, and don’t forget to sit and listen to God speak as well!

Reconnect with people around you

During meals or gatherings with family and friends, put your phone away and resolve not to use it. Be fully present. Instead of turning to a screen during a conversation lull, take time to pause and think about how you can encourage the person or be a better listener. Simple questions like “How was your day?” or “What are you currently excited about?” can spark meaningful conversations.

In quiet moments, spend some time thinking about your loved ones. Make mental or physical notes about why you love and appreciate them. Pray for them, and ask God how you can love them better.

Reconnect with yourself

Is there something you are struggling with emotionally? Don’t bury it under the carpet or distract yourself so that you don’t have to think about it. Face those emotions so that you can reconnect with yourself. Grab a journal and spend time processing your emotions with yourself and with the Lord in a healthy way.

You can also reconnect with your physical body. Exercise to keep yourself healthy. It doesn’t have to be vigorous — from a short time of stretching to a walk in the park, any type of movement gives you a better awareness and appreciation of your body. The endorphins released during exercise also helps to boost your mental health!

Finally, give yourself time to relax screen-free. Daydream. Think about things that bring you joy. Keep a gratefulness journal. Lie in bed and listen to the sound of waves on a beach. Sing like you mean it! Find something that works for you.

Reconnect with your surroundings

When your head isn’t bent down low and your eyes fixated on a screen, you may find yourself observing your surroundings much more. While travelling to and from school, look out of the window and see what’s new. While walking around, pay attention to the décor, or even the patterns on the wall or floor. Open your eyes to the needs around you and who you can pray for, such as the delivery riders outside a mall or a tired-looking person walking beside you. Who knows, you might even be inspired creatively or find new ways to serve God through observing your surroundings.

“I was a slave to my weighing scale.”

Kallos Team — Fri, 01 Apr 2022 04:53:00 +0000

I was always an active person growing up. I loved sports, I took part in many sporting events in school, and even did Taekwondo for a short while. I never really cared about my looks, and I was at a healthy weight.

After secondary school, I went to the Institute of Technical Education (ITE). I exercised a lot less, and it soon became evident that I was gaining weight. Stressed out by all of my projects and assignments, I started stress eating. I wouldn’t say that I had an eating disorder, but I definitely did not have a great relationship with food.

Within three years, I put on 10kg, and hit the ‘overweight’ range. It really felt like I was at my lowest. I would refuse to meet my friends when they invited me out because I didn’t want to be seen. Sometimes my friends would joke that I had gotten chubby and fat. Little did they know that I would go home and cry over their words. I started to starve myself, eating only one meal (about 800 calories) a day and simply drinking water to stave off the hunger. I kept a weighing scale in my bedroom, and I would weigh myself three to six times a day. On days when I snuck in a snack, I would have intrusive thoughts that I should either induce myself to vomit it out or exercise to burn the calories. I felt trapped, like a slave to my weighing scale. It felt as though I could only be happy when the numbers on the scale went down, yet even when it did, I didn’t feel fulfilled.

It took a long time to rebuild my confidence and self-esteem. During this phase, my best friend noticed that I was abusing myself through starvation, and allowing the weighing scale to define my beauty and self-worth. She introduced me to the song ‘My Confidence’ by Iron Bell. It speaks of how our confidence is anchored in Christ, and because He is our firm foundation, we are not shaken by the storms of life.

This didn’t mean that I should have just stayed at the weight I was. First Corinthians 6:19–20 says that since our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, we need to honour God with them. While this includes our soul, mind, and spirit, it especially resonated with me in terms of needing to care for my physical body in order to honour God with it. Think of it this way: if you booked a hotel room for the night but the room is filled with filth and dirt, would you still choose to stay? Or would you ask for a better room, or perhaps go to another hotel that is cleaner? If my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, I would want my body to be clean and of good condition for the Holy Spirit not to only have a visitation, but to dwell in me.

I have learned that I need to take care of this body that God has blessed me with, and to do that, I need to have the right motivation for eating healthily and losing the unhealthy pounds. I should not want to lose weight just to look good; instead, I should do it so that my body is healthy, and I can use it to do all that God has called me to.

Finding your identity in God may be a long journey, but it is one worth going on. I believe that we are all more than just our appearance. Let your confidence be grounded in Christ, for after all, we are created in His image and, indeed, He is beautiful.

The Me in Social Media

Kallos Team — Fri, 01 Apr 2022 04:49:00 +0000

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made …” (Psalm 139:13–14)

I was a teenager when the big names in social media like Facebook and Instagram were birthed — and like most teens, I was not too hesitant to jump right into something that would allow me to share my life with the world. Then I grew up and graduated, entered the creative industry, and it’s been ten whole years of doing what I know best — sharing the identities and stories of brands, much of it on social media.

In 2015, I was invited to speak at a TEDx session to an auditorium of parents of teenagers about the power of media on our minds. I titled it “The ‘Me’ in Media,” sharing about how it was easy to lose ourselves in a sea of voices telling you how and who you should be, what you should know and believe in. Today, social media is no longer just about following accounts — it’s also about following trends by miming over another person’s voice or mimicking their moves.

The fun has grown with the technology, and the cautions against it, cliché. But the truth still stands: you can lose yourself, or maybe never find out who you are, as an individual, apart from everybody else.

Two 2022 Netflix series based on real-life scammers, “The Tinder Swindler” and “Inventing Anna,” recently topped global viewing charts. Each captivated the world, with the respective stories of Simon Leviev and Anna Delvey, their outrageous identity fraud, and million-dollar scams. To me, one thing stood out about these two: an unbelievable level of delusion about who they were in comparison to who they really were. It was almost as though they believed the lies themselves.

That has to be the most dangerous con — being convinced of a reality that is not quite real. And social media is a hotbed of all sorts of virtual, created realities. Live online longer than you do in the real world, and the lines between them begin to blur.

“Who am I outside of my social media identity?” I ask myself. “Who am I, even, away from everything my friends and family know me as?” But it’s a murky self-examination for anyone. Only the One who crafted the core of our beings knows (Ps 139:13). God knows our thoughts before we think them and our words before they are spoken (139:2, 4). He has every day of our lives laid out and written down (139:16).

We need to step away from the crowd every once in a while, as Jesus often did to seek His Father (Luke 5:16). For us, that includes the great crowd and clamour of voices online. Our secret place with Him is where we can scroll through the infinite feed of His thoughts towards us (Ps 139:17), where we can invite Him to examine our hearts and point out the ways in us that diverge from His ways — that we may live by His reality and not our own (139:23–24).

Looking back, it was through my journey as a writer at Thir.st, an online Christian website and social media platform, from 2016 to 2020, that God really shaped my understanding of who He had made me to be. In my solitary reflections, as I worked on each article, His voice in my quietened spirit gently revealed His truths against the lies I had come to believe of myself. As He had done in my mother’s womb, He made the person I am online with great care and wisdom.

When someone asked me how I had the courage to share my unfiltered, imperfect life with the world, I found myself replying: When you know who you are, you stop being so scared. The “me” in social media has also been fearfully and wonderfully made.

JONK’S JOURNALS

A PRAYER
Dear Heavenly Father, I want to walk in Your identity for me, even on social media. Search me and show me where my ways online have fallen short of Your glory. Renew my mind, that I may understand who I am and should be according to how You made me. Amen.

JOURNAL THIS!
1. How has your online life been? What are you doing, and who are you following? Consider how social media is affecting your life and if it has been beneficial.

2. What would someone who follows you on social media say about you as a Christian? Less than it is about posting “Christian content,” our testimony lies in how we “live” like Christ in the online world. How would you like your online testimony to be?

KNOW THE WORD
Allow the Holy Spirit to illuminate His truths on your identity and purpose:
– Psalm 139
– Romans 12:1–3
– Acts 17:24–28

AFTERTHOUGHTS
Check out my 2015 TEDx Talk on “The ‘Me’ in Media” here.

And my story of becoming who God made me to be, written when I turned 30.

God knows the plans He has for me… right?

Kallos Team — Fri, 01 Apr 2022 04:45:00 +0000

We’ve all quoted Jeremiah 29:11 in times of uncertainty, leaning on its promise that God has plans to prosper us and not harm us, to give us hope and a future. But can we really apply this verse to our lives? JANELLE YEO takes a deeper look at this verse.

When I received my results for the Primary School Leaving Examination (PSLE), I found that I hadn’t done very well. While the scoring system recently changed, the old system required you to score the highest possible score of 300. I scored a whopping 189, barely making it into the Express stream in a neighbourhood school that no longer exists, while my good friends went to elite schools for high-performing students. Cards and verbal encouragements from friends in church started to stream in, and many of them encouraged me with Jeremiah 29:11, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”

While I was encouraged by the verse, a part of me questioned how it applied to my situation. After all, how was going to a school famous for gangs, fights, and smokers, going to prosper and not harm me? What kind of future would I have after studying in this school? Would I even make it into university and get a job?

As I matured in faith and studied the Bible, I began to realise that I had misunderstood Jeremiah 29:11. It is less about focusing on a prosperous and safe future — rather, this verse is about trusting in God’s plan, whatever that may be.

UNLOCKING THE CONTEXT

The Israelites in Judah had broken their covenant with God and committed a mountain of sin, from idolatry, adultery, and child sacrifice to rampant social injustice. They were so sinful that they were compared to Sodom and Gomorrah (23:14)! Because of their unrepentance, God used the powerful nation Babylon to judge Israel by sending them into exile. In Jeremiah 29:8–9, we can infer that despite God’s prophecy that their exile would last 70 years (25:11–12), some Israelites still chose to believe in the lies of false prophets that they would return to their home in Jerusalem soon and their lives would go back to normal. They preferred to deceive themselves with the possibility of early deliverance. The Israelites chose to believe in a lie because they wanted things to unfold in their way, not God’s.

It is in this context that Jeremiah wrote this verse in his letter to the exiles. God knew that His people were crushed and in despair after being exiled. More importantly, He knew that they were not receptive to His plan to keep them in Babylon for 70 years. So, He comforted and assured them with these words: “For I know the plans I have for you, […] plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

GOD KNOWS HIS THOUGHTS, AND HIS THOUGHTS ABOUT THEM WERE GOOD.

A PLAN FOR PROSPERITY?

While it might seem like God was promising the Israelites material prosperity and a safe future, the truth is far from so. We often misunderstand this because the familiar NIV uses the phrase “plans to prosper” — we often link the word “prosperity” with wealth. The original Hebrew phrase when translated more literally is “thoughts of peace” or “plans for welfare.” This clarifies that what the NIV translates as “prosper” is not about the people’s prosperity but God’s purposes or intentions for their good.

In short, God was simply telling the Israelites to trust in Him. The exile wasn’t to harm them. God knows His thoughts, and His thoughts about them were good.

When it comes to the word “future,” we may understand it in terms of success: a good school, a good job, or financial prosperity. However, in its original Hebrew, it literally means that there will be an “afterwards” for the Israelites — it tells them, if I may paraphrase, “you will not die in exile.” The Israelites are being assured by God Himself that they as a people group will continue to exist beyond the exile. This is why they can look forward to a future.

To sum it up, Jeremiah 29:11 was not a promise that all would be smooth-sailing for the Israelites, but a call to trust God because of who He is. God was urging His people to trust in Him because He cared for them. If they would trust in Him, then they could trust in His plans — even if they could not see them at the moment. And as God had promised, the Israelites were eventually released after Persia conquered Babylon (Ezra 1), and their existence as a people group continued.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR ME?

Just as God assured the Israelites of His character and urged them to trust in Him, He too calls us to trust in Him today. While this verse cannot be directly applied to us, its principle of trusting in Him can.

Looking back on my PSLE results, I now know that the usage of Jeremiah 29:11 for me was wrong. See, what I was being told was: (1) Although your results are bad, don’t worry — you still have a good future. You can get into university and have a well-paying job; or even (2) Don’t worry, your bad results are all part of God’s plan to prosper you, just trust in Him. But after we have examined the verse in its context, it is clear that these are misinterpretations! They even wrongly imply that: (1) I have sinned very terribly (like the Israelites!) and that was why God gave me bad PSLE results; (2) God sent me to a lousy school to cause me to repent from my sins and refine me to be a better Christian (like the disciplining through the exile!). If you haven’t seen why we can’t apply this verse casually, I hope you do now!

As tempting as it is to use a favourite verse as an encouragement for ourselves or someone else in trying times, we must always consider the context in which the verse was written. Perhaps what we can do instead is to first remind others of God’s character and point them back to Him and what He has done. We can remind those who feel insecure about their appearance that they are fearfully and wonderfully made (Ps 139:13–14). We can remind those who feel bullied or oppressed that God is a God of righteousness and justice (Ps 36:6). And we can remind those who did not do well for a major exam like me that they are so much more than their grades in His eyes (1 John 3:1).

WHAT WE CAN BE CERTAIN ABOUT IS WHO HE IS – GOOD, LOVING, MERCIFUL, RIGHTEOUS, AND HOLY.

Sometimes, our failures and suffering are because of our own actions and decisions. Sometimes, they could be because we live in a fallen world. But other times, they will remain a mystery our whole lives until we can ask God face to face (1 Cor 13:12). What we can be certain about is who He is — good, loving, merciful, righteous, and holy. Just as God pointed the Israelites back to trusting in His character when their faith was shaken, let us also turn our eyes to who He is and keep our trust in Him.

Dear Kallos: One of my friend’s parents recently got divorced. I’m very worried for her, what should I do?

Alina Teo — Fri, 01 Apr 2022 04:38:00 +0000

One of my friend’s parents recently got divorced, and now she has to do a lot more things at home and be a ‘mother’ to her sister. Her father is very busy, so she has to do most of the housework. I’m very worried for her, what should I do? - Concerned

dear Concerned,

I’m so sorry to hear about your friend’s difficulties. Yet, she is blessed to have a friend in you who wants to tangibly extend help to her.

Divorce is a big blow to families and the pain of it often follows each family member for a long time. Someone outside of the family would find it hard to really understand how that family works and what kind of culture they have. Personally, I think it is important to watch our words and reactions, so that we don’t make the other person feel worse or judged by us. A good guide is to be quick to listen and slow to speak (Jas 1:19). Although you may not fully understand what your friend is going through, your heartfelt presence and care can make a world of difference for her.

One way to help her may be to suggest talking to a counsellor in school. Although divorce in families can be a very private matter, talking about it with someone whom she can trust to keep things confidential can help to clear doubts or manage fear and hurt. Your friend will eventually have to walk through her possible emotions of hurt, anger, and guilt, and having someone like a counsellor who is trained to journey with her can be very helpful.

On your part, you can write about Bible verses that have been helpful to you as a source of encouragement to her. Share about our good God who is faithful and will never ever leave her (Heb 13:5). Share your own stories of how God has been close to you and encourage her to call out to God on her own.

Finally, pray. Pray that she will know that she is valuable, and the divorce is not her fault. Pray for opportunities to share the gospel with her, so that she can have an eternal hope in Christ. Don’t underestimate the power of prayer. God hears and He is working even if we don’t see it. Even if it may seem that you may not be able to directly help your friend in her current difficulties, your friendship can offer a soothing balm for her soul. Keep being a good friend and trust God to take care of her too!