Issue 52 – Kallos

“Having Scoliosis Made Me Feel Different.”

Quek Shi Yun — Wed, 01 Jun 2022 05:24:00 +0000

As a teen, being diagnosed with scoliosis always made QUEK SHI YUN feel ugly and different. She shares her story of how her insecurity changed into a quiet confidence in Christ.

It all started with a routine health checkup in school when I was 13. I was told to bend over and touch my toes while a measuring device was placed on my back. The nurse scribbled a note in my health booklet, and I was given an appointment letter for a follow up check at a hospital.

The diagnosis was mild scoliosis, a sideways curvature of the spine. Six months later, the curve had increased so drastically that they recommended surgery to correct it. Metal pins and rods needed to be inserted permanently around my spine, which would cause major scarring on my back. The podiatrist (foot doctor) also revealed that my legs were of different lengths, my hips were uneven, and I had flatfeet. I remember lying in bed in tears that night, asking God why He made me so imperfectly.

My parents and I eventually decided against the surgery, but scoliosis continued to define most of my teenage years and impact on my self-esteem. The curvature in my spine meant that I walked “funny,” and often stood on one foot to balance my weight more comfortably. A classmate dubbed me a ‘flamingo’ because of that. My back would hurt under the weight of my schoolbag, I had difficulties running long distances during Physical Education classes, and sitting for long hours was a literal pain. One day, my crush even pointed out that one of my shoulders was higher than the other, and that it looked “weird.”

Throughout those years, I battled insecurity. I thought that my body was deformed and ugly, and even if I could look past how my body looked, the physical discomforts were a daily reminder of what was wrong with my body.

I don’t remember a definitive moment when my outlook changed and my self-esteem improved. Rather, it was a slow but steady journey of accepting that while my body is imperfect, it doesn’t make me any less loved by God. He didn’t get distracted while making me and forgot to give me a straight spine. It wasn’t a punishment for past sin. No! In the midst of brokenness about my bent body, God assured me of my identity in Him. In fact, Psalm 56:8 showed me that God “keeps track of my sorrows,” and the tears I shed were seen by Him. Through His word, He told me that I was deeply loved and accepted, and that He empathised with my suffering.

These days, the usual aches and pains still bother me. Things haven’t improved — if anything, it’s gotten worse with age. Yet they no longer make me feel different or unloved, because I am secure in God’s love and how He has made me.

Yeo Jia Min: a Christian Athlete on the Courts

Kallos Team — Wed, 01 Jun 2022 04:34:00 +0000

You may know her as Singapore’s national badminton player, but she would say that she is a child of God first. BERNICE TIAN hears from Yeo Jia Min on her athletic journey and how her faith is intertwined with her identity as a sportsperson.

Twenty-three-year-old Yeo Jia Min has been dubbed the ‘darling’ of Singapore badminton. She started playing competitively when she was just eight, and is currently ranked world number 18. Her list of achievements are awe-inspiring — amidst her long list of achievements, she can add beating then world number one Akane Yamaguchi in the BWF World Championships 2019, and representing Singapore at the 2021 Tokyo Olympics. After a difficult start to 2022 with a Covid-19 infection and an injury that left her on crutches, Jiamin entered the Hanoi SEA Games in May, and sadly ended her medal run in the quarter-finals.

When we spoke, Jia Min was warm and friendly. She felt like an older sister, as she shared sincerely about her badminton journey and how she depends on God every day as an athlete. Read on to see how she sees her faith and career are intertwined.

Coming off the back of injuries and illness, how did you feel going into the SEA games?

To be honest, I wasn’t in the best physical condition leading up to the SEA games compared to previous competitions. But I kept telling myself that no matter what, I have to go into the competition and do my best. So yeah, I was just trying to stay positive.

What do you wish people understood about the pressures of being a national athlete?

That we are learning as we compete, I guess. Sometimes we make certain mistakes, and we may even repeat those mistakes. It takes time, so, just support us along the way!

How does knowing Jesus influence the way you see failure and disappointment?

Failure and disappointment are always hard to take, especially when there are growing expectations both from myself and others. It just kind of hurts every time I go through a setback or failure. After I have cooled down and gathered my thoughts, I bring my emotions to God. And there’s always a certain kind of peace that I will feel, and am comforted when I seek Him, so that is usually how I overcome those situations.

What has been your greatest career high and greatest low?

There have been many highs! Winning various competitions, winning high-ranked opponents, going to the Olympics… those are definitely high points in my career. Well, the recent SEA Games was kind of a low for me, because I didn’t reach what I wanted to achieve. And I felt like I didn’t perform at the level that I could. It has taken me a while to get over it. Going into this competition, my coaches and fans expected me to bring home a medal, so with the disappointment I felt, it was a pretty low time for me.

I do feel like I needed to experience this. The amount of anxiety that I felt just before the match and during the match, was even more than at the Olympics! It was one of the first times that the anxiety was so strong, and I felt that I couldn’t overcome it in the moment using my own strength and ability.

ATHLETES IN ACTION COMBINES SPORTS AND FAITH, WHICH ALLOWS ME TO BE INVOLVED WITH OTHER LIKE-MINDED CHRISTIAN ATHLETES.

I just think that it’s probably an experience that God wants me to go through, so that the next time it happens, I can rely on God’s strength in the situation.

Could you tell badminton was something God was calling you to do full-time?

I like to learn and have always worked hard since my childhood. I was blessed to be able to start winning competitions early in my career. Other athletes may only start winning later, so it may be hard for them to kickstart their career. My parents were very supportive and brought me to all kinds of competitions. They were always present in my journey, which I am thankful for.

I only became a Christian when I was fifteen. My mum is a Christian but my dad is not. My dad did not allow my mom to attend church in the past. I only knew of Christianity through my mum. She would come to my room at night and share about her faith and Jesus. That’s when I learned about God, but I never had a relationship with Him. I did not study the Bible or have any fellowship with other believers.

I was fifteen when I started attending church because my dad allowed my family to. From my struggles in losses, injuries, missed expectations, or difficulties in training, my mum taught me how to lean on God, trust Him and start having a relationship with Him. I started to learn more about Him and how to live life with Him every day, not just on Sundays. I am also involved in this ministry called Athletes in Action. It combines sports and faith, which allows me to be involved with other like-minded Christian athletes. Over time, I have become more open about my faith online. I want to share my journey and that is how I go through my struggles. I do think I can be more open about my faith online but I also want to strike a balance so I don’t come across as ‘preaching.’ I want to be genuine. I just want to share about how God helps me.

Are you curious to live out the life of another 23-year-old Singaporean who may still be studying or working in other sectors?

That’s very interesting. I consider being an athlete a job. I haven’t gone into the workforce to experience working nine-to-five, but I’ve always wanted to do something sports-related and use what I have to pass down to others. If I weren’t an athlete I don’t think I’d know what I want to do and will probably still be figuring life out.

That said, I cannot take being active out of my life. My advice to others would be to find something you enjoy so you don’t drag yourself to study or work. Even if you haven’t found it yet, don’t settle for something you dislike. If you look back on life, you would’ve gone through the motions and not made good use of that time.

I’ve heard you say that sports give us a “stronger faith in God” if we continue to “invite Him into our lives.” What does that mean for you?

It means that you go to Him for wisdom when you make certain choices. Even if it’s for things you haven’t gone through before. Think about what God would do or what attitude you should have to face this problem and how to deal with it. You won’t know how God works in your life until you constantly make the effort to go to Him. He’s not someone far away. Learning how to have a friend in Jesus during the good and bad times shapes the way I think, such as being positive and faithful during struggles.

Valuing God more than my sports eliminates my burdens as well. Of course, I work hard, as God wants us to make full use of our gifts and time. But sports isn’t my everything or my identity. Knowing that God is in control of everything helps me embrace difficult or unexpected events.

YOU WON’T KNOW HOW GOD WORKS IN YOUR LIFE UNTIL YOU CONSTANTLY MAKE THE EFFORT TO GO TO HIM.

Finally, what would you say to anyone who wants to achieve their dreams like you?

It will be very brave of them. It’s something I encourage but know that it will not be easy. It is fulfilling to chase your dreams. When you’re so determined to achieve something, you will find all ways to achieve it, pushing yourself mentally or physically. For me, I will always push myself to be the best version of what I can be. I’m sure you will look back and be happy that you’ve made a choice to chase your dreams so don’t be afraid to fail. As long as you have tried your best, I don’t think it’s a failure. If you don’t try, you’ll never know.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Life and Hope in War

Kallos Team — Wed, 01 Jun 2022 04:29:00 +0000

Ukrainian Christian ANASTACIA NEVMYVAKA reflects on how she can have hope and joy as she surrenders to God her life disrupted by war.

Traveling the world has always been my biggest dream. Given a chance, I would have become a photographer or maybe an artist to be able to go places and take pictures of magnificent clouds all over the globe. Growing older, one stops anticipating Christmas celebrations or counting off days before yet another birthday party. Still the moment I book a ticket to a new destination point, the moment the realisation of “It is happening! I am going there!” hits never ceases to make me feel so full of joy; it feels like my heart is doing a proverbial somersault in my chest. Endless discoveries, cultural heritage explorations, meeting new people, trying out new things, expanding my music playlist, seeing the shades and the hues of foreign skies under the same sun — nothing could ever be better than that for me.

I have always been up for a good challenge, therefore, spending about ten years working and studying in various regions of Asia had seemed like a perfect one for me. I even studied in Singapore Bible College for a few years. It never ceases to impress me how unique every world community is and, at the same time, how much we all have in common. At the end of the day, our core values are pretty much the same: kindness, honesty, gratitude, open-mindedness, love, and respect when it comes to diversity.

LIFE, INTERRUPTED

On 23 February 2022, I did my first stand-up monologue while still celebrating my birthday. It seemed like another cool challenge, yet another skill to master, another fear to overcome. The day was hectic and exhilarating; I had been looking forward to it literally for months. I was still running high on adrenaline when the first news of attacks on Ukraine popped up on some social media dashboards.

Exactly 24 hours later, my sister and I were sitting at a random Kyiv metro station after yet another warning of a possible missile attack.

I REMEMBER STAYING AWAKE ALL NIGHT THINKING ABOUT THIS IN THE UNEASY DARKNESS OF A DISTURBED, FEVERISH CITY.

Earlier that day, we were on our way to the airport to finally go on a well-deserved vacation and birthday celebration trip when we heard the first sirens and found out that the transportation system had been blocked all over the country.

Now, I just did not get it. Why did some people believe that they have got a right to control my life, cancel my plans, make me stay up and flee from home in the middle of the night? Were our lives of any lesser value than theirs? I remember staying awake all night thinking about this in the uneasy darkness of a disturbed, feverish city, full of sound and fury, and could not come up with even a single reason to justify what was happening in Ukraine at the moment. What is still happening there now. Because there is none.

About two months before, I had been in Auschwitz for a day tour. What I saw there in the Nazi concentration camp, what I felt there, literally shook me to the very core. It shocks me that there are still people around who remember the horrors of WWII, and yet we find ourselves in the midst of another brutal war. Was that not enough?

KNOWING HE’S IN CONTROL

I am in Germany at the moment. The rest of my family made a decision to stay back in Ukraine, and as much as I wish it was otherwise, I really cannot do anything about that. However, eventually accepting their choice has become the most liberating spiritual experience of the past months. Acknowledging that their lives are in God’s hands, that He is the only one calling the shots now, originally prompted a tsunami of what seemed like righteous anger, uncontrollable fear, deep resentment, and utter frustration within me. And then it dawned on me that it has always been this way. God has always been in control; I simply refused to accept that truth in my stubborn, self-assured ignorance of a sinful foolish human. As it goes in one of my favourite songs, “and I discovered that my castles stand upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand.”

Apparently, the biggest challenge is to let go of one’s worries, of this incessant need to always seem in control. Deep inside we know who is, in fact, in control — God always has been and always will be. I have learned to be happy even amidst the chaos and pain of everyday news reports and scarce messages from loved ones whose trust in Him appears to be way more solid than mine.

GOD HAS ALWAYS BEEN IN CONTROL; I SIMPLY REFUSED TO ACCEPT THAT TRUTH.

In retrospect, I realise that each and every nation has had a history of tragic losses, and the present as well as the future belongs to God. It’s a humbling thought yet a great reminder that even bad things are finite, and there is always hope amidst suffering.

BUT WITH GOD THERE IS LIFE AND THERE IS HOPE.

The world is still fuelled by the kindness of strangers, by the honesty of friends and neighbours, by the gratitude of those blessed by others’ virtues, by the open-mindedness of colleagues and allies, and by the love and respect within the world community.

I have learned to finally enjoy my life as it is, to experience it without postponing till better days, as they may never come. I cannot stop the war, neither can I change the world. But with God there is life and there is hope. It is tough some days, yet there are times I feel so exuberantly, gloriously happy and blessed despite all the sorrow. Looking back at one gloomy day back in December 2009, when a sad, depressed, and disappointed girl dared to accept a challenge of going on a lifelong journey with the Lord, I know that it has been totally worth it.

I Stopped Letting Personality Tests Define Me

Kallos Team — Wed, 01 Jun 2022 04:24:00 +0000

After years of allowing personality tests to define her, LUN WEISHI realised that they were influencing her in a manner they weren’t designed for. Join her as she explores how making peace with her identity in Christ allowed for these tests to serve their true purpose for her.

I was around 14 when I read a teen magazine teaching me what eyeshadow colour would best reflect my personality. This started an obsessive interest in using tests to understand myself better. From the Love Language and Ministry Assessment tests our youth group leaders gave us, to the DiSC Leadership profiles done in school, personality tests gave me what I was so badly looking for — a means of identifying and categorising myself.

I didn’t understand how I could have close friends, yet still feel out of place. How I could excel at my CCA, yet not get along with my team. I needed something to help me figure it out, so I eventually became THAT friend in class that would make all her friends do the tests so she could analyse and assess them.

AN EXCUSE TO NOT CARE

What I didn’t consider, though, was the influence I let these tests have on my sense of self, how I saw people, and even how I perceived God’s calling on my life. I started using my personality profile to excuse bad behaviour (e.g., “I’m not rude, I’m direct!”), which was a way of thinking of myself as the main character in every situation and assuming everyone else just didn’t understand me. Whenever conflict arose, I would just write people off as ignorant for not knowing about how my personality worked. I thought it was better to ‘be myself’ — someone introverted, headstrong, and logical. If my peers didn’t get it, it was their problem and not mine. I expected them to either figure it out or leave.

I STARTED USING MY PERSONALITY PROFILE TO EXCUSE BAD BEHAVIOUR (E.G., “I’M NOT RUDE, I’M DIRECT!”).

I only wanted to surround myself with like-minded people, which gave me an excuse to avoid others, namely, some of the girls in my church small group. They were so much more expressive and sociable than I was. I felt that they were too different from me, so I avoided these girls. By then, I had carefully curated my life to not include those whose mere existence challenged or triggered my insecurities. Of course, I would use the excuse that how our profiles made it difficult to get along. You see, I had allowed something that was supposed to be a tool to become a title. My personality profiles came to define me, and I internalised them as part of my identity. Since I had done all these personality tests and ‘knew myself well,’ I thought I knew better, but the truth was that I was simply allowing myself to be self-absorbed.

However, your girl here experienced a plot twist when she eventually found deep comfort in the same girls she pushed away. They provided deep comfort through their language, presence, and much-needed cry time in the wake of my devastating first breakup. I began to learn about how their unique profiles were their giftings from God. I began to love the diversity they brought into my life, and even in our disagreements and fights, we began to grow as people and friends.

I remain close friends with many of these girls 10+ years later. Don’t get me wrong, we still have our differences and disagreements!

MY PERSONALITY PROFILES CAME TO DEFINE ME, AND I INTERNALISED THEM AS PART OF MY IDENTITY.

Only now we see them as diversity and uniqueness, something worthy of celebrating and validation.

TOOLS, NOT TITLES

In recent years, I have studied research papers about the psychology of personality and explored a career anchored in utilising personality tests to help others in the workplace. I started to understand the core values behind these tests, and the intended use of them. Tests for leadership, personality, and so on are useful in helping us have a language for the very diverse and unique ways human beings are made. Personality tests and profiles are tools, not titles — they equip me, but don’t define me.

We are all created in weird, wonderful and wild ways by our wonderfully creative Creator. When we use these tests, we start to build a vocabulary and understand some of these facets of who we are. But at the heart of it all, I’m a daughter of God first! I’ve stopped letting my personality tests alone define me because I know that my identity is FIRST as a child of the King.

A NEW IDENTITY

So what is this identity that we can hold on to? We can look to Jesus, who walked freely as someone who knew God intimately, and carried Himself with the understanding that God knows Him (John 8:54–55; 10:15, 30). Jesus too, had His own personality. There are countless weblinks dedicated to figuring out what Jesus’ MBTI profile would be, or what His top five strengths might be on the StrengthsFinder. But even if we could get Jesus to take these tests, would it make that one superior above the others? I think not. Surely, then, the key is in putting our security in our identity as God’s child, and not in man-made definitions!

WE ARE ALL CREATED IN WEIRD, WONDERFUL AND WILD WAYS BY OUR WONDERFULLY CREATIVE CREATOR.

That doesn’t mean that we have to throw all personality tests out the window. These tools have taught me much! For example, it’s shown me that I need to be willing to embrace differences. Having friction or disagreements resulting from different personalities is bound to happen even with good intentions. Conflict feels bad, but it is not inherently bad for us. After all, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (Prov 27:17). Understanding different personality types have helped me to love those around me better.

At the same time, it has taught me to be kind to myself. Figuring out how your personality works takes time, prayer, community, and then more time. You may experience moments of feeling out of place or not knowing who you are, but it’s part of the process. As I’ve placed my security in my identity as God’s child, and grown comfortable with the way He has made me, I’ve been able to be more patient with the process, and submit my weaknesses to His correction.

These days, I know that I am not just an “INTJ” on the MBTI test, or “D/C” in the DiSC, but first and foremost, a daughter of the Most High King. The journey of this changed heart has sometimes looked like a 90s rom-com makeover montage with a few bad haircuts and multiple awkward moments, but it has been progress, and there has been joy in this growth!

You are not your Enneagram type

Kallos Team — Wed, 01 Jun 2022 04:19:00 +0000

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Prov 3:5–6)

I love personality tests. DiSC. MBTI. StrengthsFinder. The Enneagram is my favourite. In my quest to understand myself and help those around me do so as well, personality tests are a shortcut of sorts to self-reflection and relationship-building, respectively.

My interests in these “personal assessment tools” have regularly been met with both enthusiasm and cynicism alike. These tests have brought clarity to the teams I’m in and reduced conflict as we work together. There are now explanations for certain behaviours that could have once confused or distanced each other. But from those less convinced, I also see how these explanations can become excuses for rudeness, rashness, or self-righteousness.

In my foray down the Enneagram rabbit hole, I was drawn into the fascinating explanations for each of the nine Enneagram “types” numbered one to nine. This particular test explains each Type’s motivations and fears, which gives insight to not just why they act and interact the way they do, but also what they seek after and avoid. I eventually found myself reading copious amounts of Enneagram literature, following Instagram accounts dedicated to the Enneagram, and convincing my friends to discover their Enneagram type. I became an Enneagram evangelist.

It was a few of my close friends and church leaders who pulled the brakes on my obsession. “You are not a number,” they said. And I knew deep inside they were right. I had begun to filter so much of what I knew and communicated about myself through the collective lens of the Enneagram and every personality test result I’d ever taken.

Perhaps horoscopes, tarot cards, and other attempts at divination have a similar hold on people for a similar reason — we want to know the unknown. We can trace this desire for God-like knowing back to the Garden of Eden (Gen 3:5–6), where the fall of humankind arose from the deceptive idea that ‘knowing’ negates any need for God or a relationship with Him.

The biblical book of wisdom, Proverbs, also urges us to guard against sole reliance on our own understanding (Prov 3:5), and that includes the understanding of others. This includes the best of traditional and academic sources, because of humankind’s fallen tendency to trust in their knowledge and wisdom above that of God. We are to submit all that we are, known and unknown, to God as He has made Himself known to us, and to trust Him more than anyone else as we navigate this world, our relationships, and our inner selves (3:6).

Wanting to understand yourself more is not a sin. The issue is what drives this search for self and where it takes us — away from God or towards Him. Personality tests are useful in our self-reflection, if we ask God to reveal through them the hidden motivations and fears of our heart. This is so that we can develop a “sanctified self-awareness”, or a better sense of who we are in Christ; not simply for self-transformation, but for surrender. Because rather than using these test results to make excuses for our behaviour, they can be submitted to God — along with our whole person and personality — for Him to “make [our] paths straight” as we are transformed more and more into the likeness of the person of Jesus.

JONK’S JOURNALS

A PRAYER
Dear Heavenly Father, as my Creator God, You have perfect knowledge of me and all my ways. You know what motivates me and what I fear, what I need to die to in order for Christ to be the Lord of every area of my life. Transform me into the likeness of Jesus as I surrender my whole person to You. Amen.

JOURNAL THIS!
1. What is your relationship with personality tests like? Might you be relying too much on them to define who you are? Conversely, what has God shown you about yourself?

2. Think about your personality test results. How can they help you identify areas in your life that are not fully submitted to God? Ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom and revelation — then pray for yourself!

KNOW THE WORD
Allow the Holy Spirit to illuminate His truths:
– Hebrews 4:12–13
– James 3:13–17
– Psalm 139

AFTERTHOUGHTS
Explore Christian opinions on the Enneagram and its roots at the following sources.

Should Christians Use the Enneagram?

The Road Back To You by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile

The Enneagram Goes to Church by Todd Wilson

Is egg-freezing for social reasons OK?

Kallos Team — Wed, 01 Jun 2022 04:19:00 +0000

With the recent policy change in Singapore that allows social egg-freezing, this may be a question that you are asking. TAM WAI JIA, a doctor and mother, shares her thoughts.

After years of consideration by the authorities, women in Singapore, regardless of their marital status, will soon be allowed to freeze their eggs for non-medical reasons. Known as social egg-freezing, this would allow women to preserve their fertility by retrieving, freezing, and storing their eggs, in order to have children later in life. This allows women to preserve younger and healthier eggs while they may not be ready to conceive yet, avoiding the issue of declining egg quality.

When the news broke out, I asked myself, “Hm, I wonder what God thinks about this?”

If you’re a young woman wondering “Is this right?” or “How should I respond?”, my hope is that you may prayerfully consider these three questions.

1. WHO OR WHAT IS THE CENTRE OF MY LIFE?

In recent news articles, interviewees shared that egg-freezing acts as “insurance”, giving them less pressure to marry early, since the option of having healthy eggs will be available.

In Luke 12:16–21, Jesus tells the story of a rich man who built bigger barns for himself to store surplus grain. Instead of praising him, God rebuked him. “You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?”

This reminds me that, as Christ-followers, perhaps our lives are not meant to be lived with an “insurance mentality”. Rather, we are to live ready to submit to God’s will.

When I decided to marry my cancer-surviving, post-liver-transplant husband, Cliff, it was at a time where he was diagnosed with his first liver complication since his transplant over 20 years ago.

A mentor asked, “If you marry him, what if you cannot have children?”

I was shaken.

But I felt God challenge me: “Will you centre your life around the possibility of having children, or Me?”

I realised: God was inviting me to welcome Him as the ultimate Anchor of my life. Regardless of whether I would end up as unmarried, an early widow, or married without children, He was inviting me to trust Him wholeheartedly. Over the past ten years of marriage, Cliff’s immunosuppressant medications have been quartered. We have two children. We have served in Africa and by God’s grace, he has been healthy.

While this might sound like a happy ending, the truth is that at those crucial moments of decision-making, we had to make the hard choice of trusting in God instead of our back-up plans.

As we step into His invitation to lead a life of faith, wholly submitted to His will, without an insurance mentality,

“WILL YOU CENTRE YOUR LIFE AROUND THE POSSIBILITY OF HAVING CHILDREN, OR ME? ”

will we trust that His plans for us will ultimately be good, even if it is different from what we envisioned?

2. What does a godly, empowered woman look like?

Another argument for social egg-freezing is to empower women with choices.

News articles champion women’s right to pursue what they consider to be their priorities, including when to have children. But I wonder, what does a godly, empowered woman look like?

The Oxford dictionary defines empowerment as “the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one’s life and claiming one’s rights.”

While the world defines empowerment as giving one power to make more choices, God’s idea of empowerment is vastly different. In fact, God’s word tells us the very opposite — He wants us to be empowered by His Spirit, to crucify our flesh and lay our rights down to Him (Mark 8:34). As we empty ourselves, it is the Holy Spirit who empowers us with wisdom for godly living (1 Cor 2:4-5).

Should we not consider then, that a truly empowered woman is not one who has greater control over her life and societal rights, but rather, one who has laid down her rights to God? One who is empowered by the divine discernment and godly wisdom from the Holy Spirit to make the right choices among those presented to her?

Social egg-freezing is a choice made with the possibility of opting for in-vitro fertilisation in the future. By doing so, multiple embryos that may not carry on to pregnancy may be stored, frozen or used in research. To what extent might this commodify the sanctity of having children?

By supporting social egg-freezing, might we also inadvertently worsen social inequities, since it can be afforded only by the rich, with costs reaching up to $15,000? Advocates suggest allowing younger women to donate their eggs to those who cannot afford the procedure or to those who are older. While this appears to promote social equity, might this not create more social complexities, such as using one’s eggs for income?

There are no easy answers to these questions. Nonetheless, let’s choose to be women of strength and confidence who believe in being empowered not by the wisdom of the world, but by the wisdom and discernment from the Holy Spirit.

3. Are we willing to entrust our lives into His hands?

Another common reason for social egg-freezing is needing more time to be fully ready, to do it all first before nurturing a child. Due to career desires and goals such as living life more fully without kids, some may wish to preserve their younger eggs in order to have healthy children later on in life.

AS CHRIST-FOLLOWERS, CAN WE SAY, “I WILL TRUST HIM” FOR HIS BEST TIMING IN ALL THINGS?

In other words, the world will say, “I can’t provide enough, I haven’t lived enough, so let me wait.” But as Christ-followers, can we say, “I will trust Him” for His best timing in all things?

Psalm 16:5–6 has encouraged me deeply through the years: “Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.”

The key is not for us to take our lives into our own hands and make decisions on practical outcomes. Rather, it is to yield to His will, allow Him to chart our paths and to trust He will provide above and beyond what we need. Today, will you entrust your all in all to Jesus, and trust that if you yield to His will, that He will provide everything you need?

CONCLUDING THOUGHTS

Before we champion egg-freezing as a form of life insurance, to advocate for women’s rights, or to have it all under our own control, may we first and foremost declare God as the Anchor of our lives.

Let us trust Him to provide the grace and faith we need, that we may walk in the true freedom that God has given us as Christian women (John 8:36; Gal 3:28), with confidence and discernment to fully embrace His will.

As you weigh these prayerfully before God, may He speak to you. And as you share your thoughts with those who disagree, may He grant you gentleness, wisdom and above all, love.

I can move mountains… right?

Kallos Team — Wed, 01 Jun 2022 04:10:00 +0000

He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

So long as I have faith, even if it’s just the size of a mustard seed, I can move mountains, right?

Throughout church history, faith has been given a place of utmost importance. For Protestant Christians, we have Sola Fide – salvation by faith alone and not by works. This is one of the Five Solas of the Protestant reformation, central to the Christian belief of salvation and justification. Biblical passages also teach us that it is impossible to please God without faith (Heb 11:6), and it is by grace through faith that we receive the gift of salvation (Eph 2:8). Hence, we see that faith is very important for those who believe in Jesus.

But does having faith, even faith the size of a mustard seed, give us the power to move mountains? After all, Jesus did say that nothing will be impossible for those who have faith. And if Jesus said that, then it must be true. Right?

UNLOCKING THE CONTEXT

Matthew 17:20 closes the account of Jesus healing a demon-possessed boy. In summary, Jesus had just returned with Peter, James, and John after showing them a glimpse of his divinity (Matt 17:1–9). While they were away, a man brought his demon-possessed son to the remaining disciples for help. However, they could not heal him. Seeing that Jesus was back, the man went up to Him in hope that He could heal his son (17:14–16).

Now, this is where the main action begins. Jesus rebuked a “unbelieving and perverse generation” (Matt 17:17). It is unclear who exactly Jesus was rebuking, but the nine disciples who did not witness His transfiguration were surely included since they had displayed a lack of faith to heal. Jesus then rebuked the demon and the boy was healed immediately (17:18).

The disciples privately, likely out of sheepish embarrassment, asked Jesus why they could not do what Jesus had done (17:19). After all, they had already been commissioned and empowered by Jesus (Matt 10). Why did they fail? Was Jesus’ empowerment temporary? This is where Matthew 17:20 comes in. Answering the disciples, Jesus told them that they failed because of their “little faith.”

LACKING FAITH, HAVING FAITH

How then should we understand faith? Did you notice that when Jesus rebuked the disciples, He compared their little faith to faith the size of a mustard seed? If you have never seen a mustard seed, it is about 1–2mm small; just slightly bigger than a font size 20 full stop.

JESUS WAS POINTING OUT TO HIS DISCIPLES THAT THEIR ” LITTLE FAITH” WAS ALMOST AS GOOD AS HAVING NO FAITH.

This would mean that the disciples’ “little faith” was even smaller than the already tiny mustard seed! By comparison, the mustard seed-sized faith now seems very grand. In other words, Jesus was pointing out to His disciples that their “little faith” was almost as good as having no faith.

MORE IMPORTANT THAN HAVING FAITH IS WHO WE PLACE OUR FAITH IN.

In the NKJV translation, the disciples’ faith was described as “unbelief”, and this reflects the purpose of the comparison. The focus was not so much the size of faith, but whether or not the disciples had faith, even if a little bit. And as it was, their lack of faith called for serious attention. Jesus was rebuking them to move from having no faith to having faith — even if all they could muster up was faith the size of a mustard seed.

You may be wondering now whether the idea of moving the mountain was literal or figurative. While it is not impossible for God who could make a donkey speak (Num 22:21–30) to literally move a mountain, Jesus was speaking figuratively here. Note that the word “this” in Matthew 17:20 is a demonstrative pronoun, indicating that Jesus was pointing to a mountain close by. “This mountain” He was referring to was likely to be the Mount of Transfiguration He just came down from (17:1, 9). What Jesus did was to reference the mountain as an example of achieving the impossible when one has faith.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR ME?

Having faith is not simply naming and claiming our desires and believing that God will do our bidding. Having faith is not believing that God will give in to our every prayer demand. On the contrary, having faith is believing that God will and can do what He knows is best for us. Having faith is believing that God will empower us to do great things to further His kingdom.

If you find yourself, like the disciples, lacking faith as you walk with the Lord, choose to have faith in Him once again today. The Christ you believe in is powerful and almighty. He is able to heal, cast demons, and raise the dead. As you have faith in Him, know you can do great things or move mountains, figuratively as we have examined, for the sake of His kingdom, and nothing will be impossible for you because nothing is too difficult for Him.

Dear Kallos: How do you tell someone that you used to have a crush on that you don’t like him in that way anymore? Especially since he now returns the feelings?

Alina Teo — Wed, 01 Jun 2022 04:06:00 +0000

How do you tell someone that you used to have a crush on that you don’t like him in that way anymore? Especially since he now returns the feelings? - Stuck

dear Stuck,

Thank you for asking this question. It can be quite a tricky and awkward situation, but possible to navigate. Truth be told, feelings come and go. Perhaps you might have found someone attractive at first, but after some time, that attraction diminishes. I suppose that’s why people term such a feeling a “crush”.

Although feelings may change, given that the guy has reciprocated your initial feelings, you do need to consider how to tactfully share that your feelings have changed so that you keep his pride in place and not further hurt him.

Are you able to pinpoint why you may not be romantically attracted to him anymore? Give it proper thought and if possible, share it with the guy in a gentle manner. Don’t just find excuses to get yourself off the hook. Instead, be honest and tell him how your feelings have changed. By giving it due thought rather than brushing him off, you are giving respect to him as a person. And if there isn’t an obvious reason, that’s fine too. Find a way to tactfully share that your feelings have changed. It’s always tempting to avoid an awkward situation, but it would be more honouring to communicate your feelings clearly. Obviously, it isn’t the nicest thing to hear that the person you are interested in is no longer interested in you, but I hope he would take that over a lame excuse.

Our emotions may be fickle, but remember, in all things, God is our constant, so stay rooted in Him.