Life – Kallos

A Mother’s Day Interview with Shermaine Wong

Alina Teo — Thu, 11 May 2023 23:03:00 +0000

AUNTY JOYCE

In 2021, at the height of Covid, Shermaine’s mother was called home to be with God. “Auntie Joyce” was what many knew her by. Auntie Joyce was the face and heart of Safe Place for its residents. She was the resident helper. She was the one who made sure the mothers and babies were provided for, comfortable and well-adjusted to living in the home. Auntie Joyce’s smile warmed everyone who met her and just as Christ did, she gave of herself to serve others.

Auntie Joyce was also a mother herself to Shermaine and her brother, Shawn.

This Mother’s Day, we interview Shermaine as a tribute to her beautiful, big-hearted mother who loved God above all else, gave of herself to others wholeheartedly and lived a full life which continues to have its impact on the lives she touched.

INTERVIEW WITH SHERMAINE WONG

Describe your mother in three words.
Gentle. Humble. Authentic.

What was your favourite thing to do with your mother?
We loved chatting. We talked about how things were with her and with me and we enjoyed watching shows together.

What were your mother’s favourite sayings?
“Don’t want, done.”
When she didn’t quite like something, she was too nice to say so. She’d just comment,“It’s something different.”

What is one of the most important things you have learned from your mother?
I think I learned how important and effective prayer is. My mother taught me how to submit my requests to God instead of solving it on my own. I remember her praying a lot. She would say, “I’m going to pray,” and head into her room for like an hour. Even when we were difficult as teenagers, she prayed.

When my kids are older, I want to also cultivate the same habit and say to them, “BRB. I’m gonna pray.”

How has your mother impacted your relationship with God?
She really showed me how to live a life of faith. She worked towards doing the right thing, living out a Christ-like nature. She took her faith seriously and showed me not to take my salvation for granted.

If your mother were a picture, what would she be? Why?
A little cottage in the countryside, surrounded by greenery. A cosy and bright place. That’s how she made people feel. Comfortable and warm. That was her dream.

As a mother yourself now, how has your own mother influenced you?
My mother was always very patient with us. She prayed and placed her trust in God. She was able to healthily let go at the right time. She trusted God that her kids would be okay when she chose to let go. She was very wise and discerning. She is a role model for me.

If you have a word to encourage girls/women in their relationship with their mother, what would it be?
Sometimes, you may really not like your mum. It’s normal to find your mother irritating, especially at a certain age. I also found my mother irritating when I was younger.

During my teenage years, it was really tough. I think she also didn’t like me a lot. She told my dad to “deal with me” as she could not tahan me. It was mutual and it was not easy.

Understand that what you feel [at a given moment] doesn’t define your relationship with your mother for the rest of your life. As I grew older, we became closer.

Remember that your mum is doing the best that she can at any given moment. Considering all the resources she has, including her own upbringing, biases, perspectives and shortcomings, she’s doing the best that she can. Appreciate that factor and know that ultimately, she does the best she can because she loves you.

God is good and He has given you — mother and daughter — to each other to be family. Even if your mother is difficult, it gives you space to grow, to depend on God. It is a matter of shifting our perspective to lean on God for help in things we cannot change. There is no down-side to it. You come out of it closer to God and that’s what matters.

The reality is that God loves us even when we are difficult. With that in mind, hopefully that gives us more grace to love and give to our mothers.

GOD'S GOOD PURPOSE

Every one of us has our own story. Each mother is different. Yet, we can be assured that God gave us to our mothers and our mothers to us for a good purpose. Even if you may not be able to see that good purpose right now, trust God to reveal that in His time.

When I read about the courage Moses’ mother, Jochebed, had in protecting and saving the life of her baby boy in the face of all oppositions and risks (Exod 1:8–2:10; 6:20) and about the mother who was willing to give up her baby to another woman to save his life (1 Kings 3:16–28), I have a deeper understanding of how God uses our mothers to shape our lives.

For some, your relationship with your mother may be an easy one. Celebrate and appreciate your mother for who she has been to you. Give thanks to God for that gift! For others, your relationship with your mother may be a difficult one and it may be hard to understand the pain you’ve had to go through. Take comfort in knowing that God is perfect and people are far from perfect. As a daughter, you are not any less or less loved just because your mother may have failed you. Take heart that your worth is not tied up to how good or how messy your relationship with your mother is. Run to God and let Him cover the imperfections with His perfection. He is your refuge and you are safe in Him (Ps 46:1; 91:2; Prov 18:10).

God chose to form us in our mother’s womb so that we would be protected and nourished before entering the world. He knew the special role our mothers would have in our lives and He gave us to each other.

May this Mother’s Day hold celebration of relationship with our mothers and also the hope for the mending of broken relationships through Christ.

Come, My Beloved – God’s gentle call to us in times of uncertainty

Alina Teo — Tue, 14 Mar 2023 12:50:00 +0000

WHAT'S GOING ON?

I’ve found myself finding it a little harder to hope. With uncertainty looming from so many fronts — from the Russian invasion of Ukraine, the massive earthquake in Turkey and Syria, to the almost monthly shootings in the USA. Sure, these events are not happening to me, but somehow, I feel their effects. Not too long ago, with the decrease in supply of chickens to Singapore, even the seemingly simple task of buying a plate of chicken rice proved to be a feat in itself. What is happening in our world?

Sometimes, I don’t know how to feel or process these happenings. It is hard. At times, I feel hard-pressed to hope for some semblance of good news next month. Because to be honest, I’m not even sure what next month holds.

WHAT DOES GOD'S WORD HAVE TO SAY?

But as I sat in church the other day, with the preacher declaring God’s Word from Psalm 17, I realised that these feelings of being surrounded and pressed in from all sides may not be unfamiliar to the people of faith in the ancient past. David, the shepherd boy who became king of Israel, was in that place of distress and anguish. He described his enemies “as a lion [being] eager to tear his prey” and “a young lion lurking in secret places” (v. 12 NKJV).

Although his life was in danger from his enemies and fear must have been mounting, David refused to take matters into his own hands. Instead, he cried out to God to “attend to my cry” and “give ear to my prayer” (Ps 17:1)! David’s response was not to go against his enemies with his own might or cleverness. In contrast, David laid himself bare before God and asked God to test his heart; David “purposed that my mouth shall not transgress” (v. 3).

David refused to take matters into his own hands.
Instead, he cried out to God to “attend to my cry” and “give ear to my prayer”!

David was not going to fight his battle his way (v. 5). He determined in his heart and had the humble faith to allow God’s vindication to come in God’s own way and God’s own time. Trust is what David resolved to do. In the midst of trouble, he turned to God and relied on God’s help and vindication. He actively sought God and remembered who God is — a God who saves those whom He loves and who trusts in Him (v. 6–9).

AN ENCOURAGEMENT

Maybe today, your battles aren’t because of global wars or local unrests, but your battles take the form of war and unrest inside of you — the despair you carry around that no one sees; the crippling thoughts about yourself that you keep under wraps. Perhaps your battles are hardships in school or among friends or colleagues, or the difficulty of fitting in or having someone close enough to confide in. Perhaps it is the heavy burden of work placed upon you that is crushing you. The same encouragement holds true for you too:

“I have called upon You, for You will hear me, O God …
O You who save those who trust in You” (vv. 6–7)

Today, God is calling to you to come to Him, you who are His beloved. He is asking you to give Him your despair, your heartache, and your pain. Turn to Him, and He will save you.

He actively sought God and remembered who God is —
a God who saves those whom He loves and who trusts in Him (Ps. 17: 6–9).

This brings to mind the hymn, Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus. The lyrics sing of us beholding Christ again in our everyday lives. Despite our circumstances, good or bad, there is a call to be present and to “turn your eyes”! Not tomorrow, not later, but turn now. Sovereign Grace Music composed a modern version of this song, adding a chorus:

Jesus, to you we lift our eyes
Jesus, our glory and our prize
We adore You, behold You, our Saviour ever true
Oh Jesus, we turn our eyes to You

When we turn our eyes to His beauty, goodness, and faithfulness, when we behold Christ, we turn our eyes away from the craziness, the messiness, and the despair that we may be experiencing. It doesn’t take away these circumstances, but it changes our focus to the One who is in control.

Today, God is calling to you to come to Him, you who are His beloved.
He is asking you to give Him your despair, your heartache, and your pain.
Turn to Him, and He will save you.

To behold means to observe or to see, usually something remarkable to us. When we behold Christ, we are intently looking upon, we are gazing, taking time to appreciate Him. We let Christ be our centre. We can keep our eyes fixed on Christ and say, I trust in You, God, my hope and my light.

Would you come and behold Christ today?

Change makes me anxious in life

Kallos Team — Wed, 02 Nov 2022 08:27:00 +0000

KELLY GOH shares the fears and anxieties she had when dealing with change in her life, and how God’s faithful love brings her comfort.

The morning of my birthday usually starts with me scrolling through my messages while lying in bed. I unknowingly start to smile as I read the sweet birthday blessings my friends and family have left me. But it is not long before my beaming smile turns wistful as uneasiness starts to creep in.

Since I was a teenager, I have always had a fear of growing older and of things changing. Birthdays were a dreaded occasion for me as I wrestled with the weight of this fear. I would reflect on the past year, thinking about all the wonderful memories that I had with my loved ones, all the opportunities that life had presented to me and how much I have grown as a person. Yet I would get downhearted when I remembered that these happy moments will not last forever. Worries about the future start to fill my mind as I think about how things will no longer be the same and that I will never get to experience the comforting and joyful moments of my past again. “Today’s going to be a hard day,” I think to myself, unable to shake off the heavy burden of my anxieties.

Other than birthdays which mark the end of the year for me (my birthday falls in November), tiny or drastic changes throughout the year make me anxious too. Every change in my life feels like a new season to me, one that can take away the comfort and joy from my previous season, and present me with new challenges to undertake. Amid the anxiety concerning an unknown future that my older self has to go through, God’s word reminds me that He has a plan and purpose for every season of my life (Ecc 3:1).

It was on my 17th birthday that I slowly started to embrace the new seasons of life. I remember feeling sentimental scrolling through the photos I took with my friends and family that day, and once again feeling emotional that these precious moments had ended. However, God sent someone to talk to me that day and her joy and excitement for the future made me realise that as I tightly held on to the happy memories of the past, I had lost sight of the joy the future can bring too. God also prompted me that night to think of things that do not change. I realised that though these moments had already ended, the love from these people will not. And most certainly, God’s faithful love for me goes on forever. That thought itself was enough to fill my heart with so much peace. In a world where things are constantly changing, it is comforting to know that I have a God whose love endures forever (Ps 136).

No matter the season, God’s hand will always be at work in our lives and He will use every season for our good and for His glory. Hence, I will now try to look forward to a new season with hope and actively seek joy with the help of the Holy Spirit. And if change still scares me, I will run to Jesus who remains constant yesterday, today, and forever (Heb 13:8)!

Dear Kallos: Do the Ten Commandments still apply to us today? If so, how do we apply them in our lives?

Alina Teo — Wed, 02 Nov 2022 07:24:00 +0000

Do the Ten Commandments still apply to us today? If so, how do we apply them in our lives? -Curious

dear Curious,

Yes, the Ten Commandments written in Exodus 20:1–17 and Deuteronomy 5:6–21 definitely still apply to us today. In fact, the whole Bible’s teachings about the right way to live apply to our lives even till this day. The Bible is God’s given Word to us. One of the New Testament letters teaches us that “all Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness” (2 Tim 3:16) — that includes the ten commandments! Another letter states that the Word of God is “alive and active [and] sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart” (Heb 4:12). Our heart can be deceitful about what is right and wrong, and God’s Word is there to keep us on the right path.

A useful way to think about the Ten Commandments is to anchor them to what Jesus calls the two greatest commandments: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind,” and “Love your neighbour as yourself” (Matthew 22:37–39). The first four commandments are concerned with how to relate to God, while the rest of the commandments are about how to relate to others. If we keep these commandments, we are choosing to live in God’s ways and creating a community that rightly represents Him to others.

Let’s see how we can apply one of the commandments to our lives. The last commandment states, “You shall not covet your neighbour’s house. You shall not covet your neighbour’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbour” (Exod 20:17) This commandment warns us against excessively desiring something another person has. Simply put, we are to be content with what God has given to us and not be preoccupied with or seek after what does not belong to us.

But what’s wrong with wanting what we don’t have? Today, there are many things that we can covet — certain brands of clothing or accessories, a vacation that your friends are going on that you can’t afford, a different body type, a better family… but when we strongly desire what we do not have, we lose our joy and contentment. Worse still, it leads us to sin, in despising what we do have, or ruthlessly striving to attain yet more and more.

God’s commandment that we do not covet does not mean that we will not experience feelings of dissatisfaction. Rather, it encourages us to banish the sin of envy from our hearts, and turn to God, the only one who can truly satisfy our every need. It also urges us to be content with what God has given us, trusting that what He has blessed us with is more than enough for our needs. And those who don’t know Him might be drawn to ask us why we have such contentment (1 Tim 6:6).

The other nine commandments can equally be applied to our life, and continues to be relevant in every age. Dear sister, let’s live out our special calling as God’s children by obeying His Word and being a light in this dark world.

Janelle Yeo: I’m a pastor but I doubted if God was real

Quek Shi Yun — Wed, 31 Aug 2022 16:31:00 +0000

Who says pastors have it all figured out? QUEK SHI YUN sits down with Janelle, who shares her honest story of doubting God and growing her faith.

If I asked you to guess what a person might have done before becoming a pastor, I assure you, you wouldn’t even begin to guess anything on Janelle’s list. “I had a friend who was a model, and so she roped me into that. And I acted in Mediacorp, just small roles you know? I’ve been a waitress, I worked in retail… Oh! I even did Uber for a few months just so I could have a car!” Janelle’s energy was contagious, and I found that I couldn’t stop smiling while listening to her.

This was not at all what I expected when I simply asked Janelle what led to her becoming a pastor!

MY BIGGEST CHALLENGE GROWING UP WAS WONDERING IF GOD WAS REAL.

“I never set out to be a pastor,” was her immediate reply. While Janelle was raised in a Christian home, she did not really understand her faith. “I went to church out of habit. I served in ministry, I was in Christian Fellowship… but I didn’t really know if God was there. I even asked myself, what if Buddhism is what’s real? How would I know? I was born into this faith! My biggest challenge growing up was wondering if God was real.”

While her faith was growing, Janelle struggled at home and battled insecurities. Her parents’ rocky marriage was headed toward a divorce, and she questioned God’s goodness. However, a personal encounter with God when she was 18 years old kickstarted her journey of faith. During this time, she had moved to a different church where her cousins were at. It was there when she had the first sense that God was calling her to serve Him in a greater capacity during a service that year.

“I still remember being in the auditorium with about 1,000 people, and I felt a call to serve God and give Him the best years of my life. As the worship came to a close, the Senior Pastor came up on stage and said he felt led to pray for some people. He asked, ‘Is Janelle in church?’ I sensed in my heart that that was me. And as far as I knew, I was the only Janelle in church.”

The pastor prophesied that as people followed Janelle, they would turn towards God and follow Him. After the service, her leaders asked her how she thought that would play out. “I said I don’t know, maybe I’ll just be more involved in church. I brought more friends to church, but nothing really happened after that.”

RUNNING FROM GOD’S CALL

Janelle later felt led to return to her home church after five years and carried on serving God through her university days and early career. She eventually started her own company, and it was a success. She was riding the beginning of the #girlboss wave and enjoyed the hustle and glamour of being an entrepreneur.

So when God pressed in her heart the thought that He wanted her to serve Him in full-time ministry one day, she said no. She laughed as she remembered her response. “I just said, ‘Nope, I don’t want to!’” To compensate for her guilt in rejecting God’s call, she resolved to do more in church. By the end of the year, she was serving in five different ministries in church!

By 2018, she felt like she was in the prime of her life. She had just gotten the keys to her house and business was growing steadily. Her husband, Andrew, had just gotten a promotion, and a baby was on the way. “Everything was so so good, and we were so thankful for everything.”

But things suddenly took a turn in the middle of the year. At the end of June, they found out that their nine-week-old baby had no heartbeat. Andrew’s new job scope turned out to be different from what he expected. And shortly after, they lost their grandmothers in October and November.

“Before I could recover from one death, the next death happened, and then the next. We just couldn’t understand why this was happening.”

I ASKED GOD, WHY ME? … ARE YOU PUNISHING ME?

“I asked God, ‘Why me? You know we love children. You know we love our grandmothers. Why is everything happening at once? I have served you so faithfully and given you my entire youth. Why me? Am I being punished?’”

“That was the first time that my faith was shaken and I really wrestled with God. I couldn’t see how God was good.”

CHOOSING TO OBEY

Amidst her pain, she felt God urging her to go to seminary and really get to know Him for herself. By then, through a series of events and Scripture, she could no longer deny the call to change course and serve Him in full-time ministry.

“I did not want to give up the image I had built for myself — the glamour of going for events, the identity I had as an entrepreneur, and making a name for myself. But God showed me that this wasn’t what He wanted for me. There was something better if I chose to obey.”

During her time in seminary, God showed her why He allowed those things to happen to her and how He was still in control through it all. The week she found out she was pregnant, she was offered a shot at a supporting role in a long-term drama but had to turn it down due to the pregnancy. In hindsight, she recognised it as God’s protection, as He knew that the temptations of the entertainment industry would be too much for her to bear.

He also showed her how the business had puffed up her pride and it was a pride that God had to break down. “Without realising it, I was chasing after my own glory, not God’s.”

God used that season of mourning to show her an important aspect of His character — the depth of His love. Though she initially questioned if God was punishing her, she later came to a different conclusion.

“God allowed these things to happen, but He didn’t cause it. The fact is that we live in a fallen world and suffering does happen. But God can use our sufferings to draw us closer to Him. Instead of punishing me, God was protecting me the whole time. In His grace, He allowed all that to happen so that I could return to Him. He cares more about our holiness than our happiness because He seriously loves us so much. While I couldn’t see His fingerprints in the midst of mourning, God showed me that He was there all along, grieving with me. He didn’t abandon me.”

“Whatever He allows in this fallen world is not the end. This is not our home — the pains and sufferings remind us of that. We have a greater home in heaven.”

Janelle is now in her final semester of seminary, and has started work full-time as a Ministry Staff Worker, pastoring the youths — something she never expected although she now acknowledges that she sees how God had been preparing her for it all these years.

A LESSON IN FAITH

At the end of 2019, she was reading Hebrews 11, or the “Hall of Faith” as she calls it, and it spoke to her to have faith in God and rest in His faithfulness. She sensed God’s deep assurance that a child would come, and to trust in Him and wait on His timing. Then on April Fools’ Day 2021, she found out she was pregnant again. “God is very humorous!” Her son, Callen, was born later that year in November.

Her winding journey of faith has led her to where she is now. But while she sees how God has been with her each step of the way, her journey isn’t over. She makes sure to point out that even pastors have their own struggles and that having faith in God in every circumstance will be a lifelong journey as we submit ourselves to His moulding to become true disciples of Christ.

Her final encouragement is this: Keep seeking God, keep chasing after Him, and let Him lead you.

“What Jesus says in Matthew 11:30 is true. His yoke is easy, His burden is light. We don’t realise it, but it does get easier when we surrender and let God lead our life. Just trust and obey.”

Dear Kallos: I often feel like I’m not ‘American’ enough for the Americans, and not ‘Singaporean’ enough for the Singaporeans.

Alina Teo — Mon, 29 Aug 2022 08:27:00 +0000

I go to an international American school, but I live in Singapore. I often feel like I’m not ‘American’ enough for the Americans, and not ‘Singaporean’ enough for the Singaporeans. I just feel like I don’t fit in anywhere. What should I do? -Confuzzled and Lonely

dear Confuzzled and Lonely,

My heart hurts hearing you share how you feel about not fitting in. Straddling two different cultures and trying to find one’s footing in either isn’t easy. Perhaps you may identify with the term ‘Third Culture Kid’ (or TCK for short), which is used to describe someone who has been raised in a culture different from their parents’, or from the culture they are currently living in. I want you to know that you aren’t alone in feeling this tension as the world grows increasingly globalised.

As an encouragement to you, the beautiful thing is that in Christ, all of us are ‘third culture’. When we become Christians, we are issued a new identity, a new passport and nationality, so to speak! We have citizenship in this world, but also in the kingdom of heaven. We have a foot in both cultures, not quite fitting in completely in either. My hope is that as you journey with other Christians in your community, you might find that nationalities and cultures don’t have to matter as much as it currently appears.

There was a time in my life when I was in a new environment. I felt lonely and unsure about how to go about making friends. One night, I told God my fears and asked for something on my heart. I prayed that He would bring me good friends — ones that I could laugh with, cry with, and be myself with. I also prayed that God would bring friends who had the same values as me, so that we would spur one another on in our faith. To my amazement, God answered beautifully.

These same friends are still my closest friends more than 15 years on. Among them are ones who became my bridesmaids and ones who have journeyed with me through motherhood. I urge you to do the same — to pray and trust that God will bring friends who can cross these cultural boundaries and be the encouragement you need.

Dear sister, nothing is ‘wrong’ with you. God made you — precious, special, and loved. I truly believe that as you keep praying and trusting God, making the effort to get to know more people, and choosing to be a good friend to others first, you’ll start to feel less out of place. It will take time, so don’t rush it. These friends may not even come from school but other circles, like from church, your neighbourhood, or elsewhere!

Above all, remember that God is your closest friend, and He is always walking with you through the good and the bad. Take heart!

Yeo Jia Min: a Christian Athlete on the Courts

Kallos Team — Wed, 01 Jun 2022 04:34:00 +0000

You may know her as Singapore’s national badminton player, but she would say that she is a child of God first. BERNICE TIAN hears from Yeo Jia Min on her athletic journey and how her faith is intertwined with her identity as a sportsperson.

Twenty-three-year-old Yeo Jia Min has been dubbed the ‘darling’ of Singapore badminton. She started playing competitively when she was just eight, and is currently ranked world number 18. Her list of achievements are awe-inspiring — amidst her long list of achievements, she can add beating then world number one Akane Yamaguchi in the BWF World Championships 2019, and representing Singapore at the 2021 Tokyo Olympics. After a difficult start to 2022 with a Covid-19 infection and an injury that left her on crutches, Jiamin entered the Hanoi SEA Games in May, and sadly ended her medal run in the quarter-finals.

When we spoke, Jia Min was warm and friendly. She felt like an older sister, as she shared sincerely about her badminton journey and how she depends on God every day as an athlete. Read on to see how she sees her faith and career are intertwined.

Coming off the back of injuries and illness, how did you feel going into the SEA games?

To be honest, I wasn’t in the best physical condition leading up to the SEA games compared to previous competitions. But I kept telling myself that no matter what, I have to go into the competition and do my best. So yeah, I was just trying to stay positive.

What do you wish people understood about the pressures of being a national athlete?

That we are learning as we compete, I guess. Sometimes we make certain mistakes, and we may even repeat those mistakes. It takes time, so, just support us along the way!

How does knowing Jesus influence the way you see failure and disappointment?

Failure and disappointment are always hard to take, especially when there are growing expectations both from myself and others. It just kind of hurts every time I go through a setback or failure. After I have cooled down and gathered my thoughts, I bring my emotions to God. And there’s always a certain kind of peace that I will feel, and am comforted when I seek Him, so that is usually how I overcome those situations.

What has been your greatest career high and greatest low?

There have been many highs! Winning various competitions, winning high-ranked opponents, going to the Olympics… those are definitely high points in my career. Well, the recent SEA Games was kind of a low for me, because I didn’t reach what I wanted to achieve. And I felt like I didn’t perform at the level that I could. It has taken me a while to get over it. Going into this competition, my coaches and fans expected me to bring home a medal, so with the disappointment I felt, it was a pretty low time for me.

I do feel like I needed to experience this. The amount of anxiety that I felt just before the match and during the match, was even more than at the Olympics! It was one of the first times that the anxiety was so strong, and I felt that I couldn’t overcome it in the moment using my own strength and ability.

ATHLETES IN ACTION COMBINES SPORTS AND FAITH, WHICH ALLOWS ME TO BE INVOLVED WITH OTHER LIKE-MINDED CHRISTIAN ATHLETES.

I just think that it’s probably an experience that God wants me to go through, so that the next time it happens, I can rely on God’s strength in the situation.

Could you tell badminton was something God was calling you to do full-time?

I like to learn and have always worked hard since my childhood. I was blessed to be able to start winning competitions early in my career. Other athletes may only start winning later, so it may be hard for them to kickstart their career. My parents were very supportive and brought me to all kinds of competitions. They were always present in my journey, which I am thankful for.

I only became a Christian when I was fifteen. My mum is a Christian but my dad is not. My dad did not allow my mom to attend church in the past. I only knew of Christianity through my mum. She would come to my room at night and share about her faith and Jesus. That’s when I learned about God, but I never had a relationship with Him. I did not study the Bible or have any fellowship with other believers.

I was fifteen when I started attending church because my dad allowed my family to. From my struggles in losses, injuries, missed expectations, or difficulties in training, my mum taught me how to lean on God, trust Him and start having a relationship with Him. I started to learn more about Him and how to live life with Him every day, not just on Sundays. I am also involved in this ministry called Athletes in Action. It combines sports and faith, which allows me to be involved with other like-minded Christian athletes. Over time, I have become more open about my faith online. I want to share my journey and that is how I go through my struggles. I do think I can be more open about my faith online but I also want to strike a balance so I don’t come across as ‘preaching.’ I want to be genuine. I just want to share about how God helps me.

Are you curious to live out the life of another 23-year-old Singaporean who may still be studying or working in other sectors?

That’s very interesting. I consider being an athlete a job. I haven’t gone into the workforce to experience working nine-to-five, but I’ve always wanted to do something sports-related and use what I have to pass down to others. If I weren’t an athlete I don’t think I’d know what I want to do and will probably still be figuring life out.

That said, I cannot take being active out of my life. My advice to others would be to find something you enjoy so you don’t drag yourself to study or work. Even if you haven’t found it yet, don’t settle for something you dislike. If you look back on life, you would’ve gone through the motions and not made good use of that time.

I’ve heard you say that sports give us a “stronger faith in God” if we continue to “invite Him into our lives.” What does that mean for you?

It means that you go to Him for wisdom when you make certain choices. Even if it’s for things you haven’t gone through before. Think about what God would do or what attitude you should have to face this problem and how to deal with it. You won’t know how God works in your life until you constantly make the effort to go to Him. He’s not someone far away. Learning how to have a friend in Jesus during the good and bad times shapes the way I think, such as being positive and faithful during struggles.

Valuing God more than my sports eliminates my burdens as well. Of course, I work hard, as God wants us to make full use of our gifts and time. But sports isn’t my everything or my identity. Knowing that God is in control of everything helps me embrace difficult or unexpected events.

YOU WON’T KNOW HOW GOD WORKS IN YOUR LIFE UNTIL YOU CONSTANTLY MAKE THE EFFORT TO GO TO HIM.

Finally, what would you say to anyone who wants to achieve their dreams like you?

It will be very brave of them. It’s something I encourage but know that it will not be easy. It is fulfilling to chase your dreams. When you’re so determined to achieve something, you will find all ways to achieve it, pushing yourself mentally or physically. For me, I will always push myself to be the best version of what I can be. I’m sure you will look back and be happy that you’ve made a choice to chase your dreams so don’t be afraid to fail. As long as you have tried your best, I don’t think it’s a failure. If you don’t try, you’ll never know.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Disconnect to Reconnect

Rachel Chan — Fri, 01 Apr 2022 04:59:00 +0000

Tired of living on screen time? RACHEL CHAN explores how we can disconnect ourselves from our devices and reconnect with life.

It is too easy these days to be constantly connected with the world through technology, but not truly be connected with anyone. When was the last time you allowed yourself to put your devices away and reconnect with real life?

If your answer is “a long time ago,” then it’s time to get started. Put away your devices (yes, including your phone!), leaving them out of sight and (hopefully) out of mind. When you don’t need them, leave them in a different room on silent mode. Better yet, set aside a specific time each day to leave your devices off or on airplane mode so that you aren’t tempted to use it. Start with 15 minutes a day and slowly extend it to an hour. You might be surprised at the difference it makes to your life.

Not convinced? Try it yourself! Challenge yourself to reconnect with the parts of your life that are often crowded out by noise and distraction.

Reconnect with God

It’s perfectly acceptable to use a digital Bible or utilise search engines to go in-depth into Bible study. However, our devices are more often a source of distraction rather than assistance as we are easily tempted to open another window or application.

Try having your quiet time using a physical Bible and notebook, with your phone in another room. When you meet a verse you’re unsure about, make a note to find out more about it later so you can stay focused on what you are reading now. Take uninterrupted time to pray, and don’t forget to sit and listen to God speak as well!

Reconnect with people around you

During meals or gatherings with family and friends, put your phone away and resolve not to use it. Be fully present. Instead of turning to a screen during a conversation lull, take time to pause and think about how you can encourage the person or be a better listener. Simple questions like “How was your day?” or “What are you currently excited about?” can spark meaningful conversations.

In quiet moments, spend some time thinking about your loved ones. Make mental or physical notes about why you love and appreciate them. Pray for them, and ask God how you can love them better.

Reconnect with yourself

Is there something you are struggling with emotionally? Don’t bury it under the carpet or distract yourself so that you don’t have to think about it. Face those emotions so that you can reconnect with yourself. Grab a journal and spend time processing your emotions with yourself and with the Lord in a healthy way.

You can also reconnect with your physical body. Exercise to keep yourself healthy. It doesn’t have to be vigorous — from a short time of stretching to a walk in the park, any type of movement gives you a better awareness and appreciation of your body. The endorphins released during exercise also helps to boost your mental health!

Finally, give yourself time to relax screen-free. Daydream. Think about things that bring you joy. Keep a gratefulness journal. Lie in bed and listen to the sound of waves on a beach. Sing like you mean it! Find something that works for you.

Reconnect with your surroundings

When your head isn’t bent down low and your eyes fixated on a screen, you may find yourself observing your surroundings much more. While travelling to and from school, look out of the window and see what’s new. While walking around, pay attention to the décor, or even the patterns on the wall or floor. Open your eyes to the needs around you and who you can pray for, such as the delivery riders outside a mall or a tired-looking person walking beside you. Who knows, you might even be inspired creatively or find new ways to serve God through observing your surroundings.

Review: Soul

Eunice Sng — Mon, 01 Mar 2021 07:55:00 +0000

WARNING: This article contains spoilers.

I’ve been a fan of Pixar for as long as I can remember. Yet, my years of experience (and packs of tissues) did nothing to prepare me for the sucker punch of emotions Soul served out in this beautifully animated feature film.

The movie spotlights Joe, a disillusioned middle-school band teacher who unexpectedly loses his life. Joe, now a newly departed soul, winds up on a travellator headed straight into a blazing ball of light known as the Great Beyond. Terrified and unwilling to leave life on earth just as things were looking up, he runs away and ends up stumbling into the Great Before, where souls are prepped for life on earth. There, he meets an equally disgruntled soul named 22, who seems to resist being born just as much as he dreads being dead.

Soul good: Small actions, big impact
Joe isn’t willing to die because he thinks he hasn’t accomplished anything worthwhile. In a moment of sad realisation, he states, “My life was meaningless,” echoing Ecclesiastes 2:17 — “All of it is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.”

Stuck in what he sees as a dead-end job, he has bigger dreams of being a famous jazz musician, which he believes will give him the happiness he desires. Little does he realise that he was making a greater impact on people around him as a teacher than he ever could playing the piano on a big stage!

That’s one of the central messages of the movie — that even those who are doing seemingly mundane and underappreciated tasks can have an outsized impact. It took nearly losing his life to realise that chasing his dream career wouldn’t bring him lasting happiness; if anything, it just amplified the emptiness he had been trying to fill. Joe learns that what brings true meaning to life isn’t success or fame, but the deep relationships you build and the way you use your gifts to benefit others, not just yourself.

Soul questionable: The Great Before and the Great Beyond
While many religions embrace the concept of a holding area for souls before their physical body is created, the Bible emphasises that God creates humans as physical beings (Gen 2:7; Ps 139:13–16). The movie puts an emphasis on the autonomy of the soul separate from God or other higher powers, or even the connection to one’s physical body (22 could enter Joe’s body and Joe’s soul could enter a cat)! Soul also erases the traditional notion of heaven and hell, and takes away the gravity of how one’s actions on earth can affect where they go in the Great Beyond.

That said, the fictional explanations about life before and after death shouldn’t prevent you from taking in the fullness of Soul’s message — that each day is a gift and life is a blessing. True contentment comes only in living life to the fullest but with the understanding that God is the one who gave us life and all its possibilities. Ecclesiastes 3:12–13 summarises it perfectly — “I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil — this is the gift of God.”

Spotlight: Sarah’s Story Of Redemption On Being Pregnant At 18

Quek Shiwei — Fri, 24 Jan 2020 04:00:00 +0000

Looking at Sarah today, you would not guess that her story had a less than ideal beginning. She is an accomplished singer, a mother to her daughter, Ines, and son, Leon, and a wife to her loving husband Mark. Yet when she was 18, her life plans had been completely overturned when she found out she was pregnant — she even had to take her ‘A’ level exams while three months pregnant!

Our time with Sarah made one thing clear: God can take our brokenness and turn it into something beautiful. How did God redeem this story of brokenness and sin? Read on to find out!

Walk us through your thoughts when you first found out that you were pregnant.

I was with a friend and wasn’t sure what to think, but the first thing she said was, “Of course you have to keep the baby. I know you will be a great mum.” There was a lot of fear and a lot of anxiety, but it made a difference that the first person who spoke to me wasn’t someone who judged or condemned me, but one who spoke words of life over me.

How did people react to your news?

When I broke the news to my then-boyfriend and now-husband, Mark, he asked, “Are we getting an abortion or what?” It is normal to have this reaction when you are young because it feels like that is the only option. But I said, “No, we won’t get an abortion.” He replied, “OK, if that’s what you want to do, then I will support you.”

But there were a lot of consequences after that. I wrote a letter to my parents and faxed it over to their hotel (they were overseas then). They took an early flight back home and asked me, “When did this happen?” They were shocked, angry, and upset. They scolded me, called Mark, and scolded him. After quite a few meetings with our parents, we decided that the best thing to do was to get married and have the baby.

How did Ines get her name?

Mark felt that he wanted our daughter to be named Ines, which is the Spanish version of the English name Agnes. Agnes comes from the Latin word “agnus,” which means lamb, and the connotation of lamb is purity. Mark felt that that should be her nature, and despite all the circumstances leading up to her birth, she will be pure — and I think that’s who she is at the heart of it.

Why do you think you chose to be sexually intimate with your boyfriend?

I don’t think, having a Christian background, it was a conscious decision. Rather, it was a rebellious spirit that led to a series of wrong decisions at the time.

While my parents had said, “You’re not allowed to have a boyfriend,” my prideful self thought that I could handle it on my own in secret until I was “old enough” in the eyes of my parents. So our relationship had no accountability.

Often, Christian parents assume that just because you are brought up in church, you should know right from wrong and keep to the straight and narrow. But what’s really needed is open conversation and understanding from both sides. At the time, I would have loved to have guidance from my parents, but it seemed like I wasn’t even allowed to have that conversation, so the relationship stayed in the dark.

WE TRIED MANY TIMES TO BREAK UP AND REPENT IN ORDER TO DO THE RIGHT THING. BUT THE PROBLEM WAS [A LACK OF] ACCOUNTABILITY.

What would you say to those who are struggling with repentance over a particular area of their lives in which they have fallen?

We tried many times to break up and repent in order to do the right thing. But the problem was [a lack of] accountability. If you don’t want to be in this lifestyle anymore, you must tell someone you trust. When you are on your own, it will look like a lone sheep running away with a lion after it. You are away from the herd and no one can protect you — of course, the devil is going to go after you!

A common struggle is the inability to forgive ourselves. The devil wants us to live in our past with guilt, anxiety, and shame. But we know that God doesn’t come to condemn! He came to fulfil his Law and to give perfect love. Whatever it is, the healing process has to be walked through with someone.

What advice would you give to teen girls who are in a sexual relationship and want to end it?

I was one of those girls. The most difficult thing was that nobody knew about my relationship then and it was so easy to fall back into the same pattern of behaviour with my boyfriend. There is no hard and fast rule to do this, but if you are really convicted about wanting to end the relationship, you probably have to avoid seeing this guy for a long time. Not being physically around him is the most practical way! Use that time, however long it may be, to immerse yourself in the Word of God, serve Him, serve others — do other things! Build your identity, and build yourself up in the Lord.

It looks like everything worked out for you! You and Mark are still happily married and have a family together, and you know that God has forgiven you and redeemed your story. Does this mean that we can do whatever we want because God will eventually work things out?

Firstly, the Bible is quite clear that it was for freedom that Christ set us free — not the freedom to sin, but to do what is right. Secondly, sin always has its consequences, even if you repent and God has forgiven you. In junior college, my dream was to study overseas. I had an initial application to Oxford and a couple of universities in the States. However, the decision to keep the baby meant that I couldn’t go overseas. For Mark and me, the consequence of having a sexual relationship outside of marriage was that we became parents much earlier than we expected, which isn’t something to take lightly. Abortion wasn’t an option for us, but even if it had been, that would also have been an issue to deal with. It’s easy to say, “I could use a condom,” so pregnancy wouldn’t be a problem, but you know what? Sin will catch up with you in one way or another (Rom 1:18–32).

Thirdly, Mark and I have seen grace and redemption in our lives. The Bible is full of that kind of redemption; that as long as we decide to turn back to God, even messy things can still have a beautiful ending. Our parents came together, communicated, and supported us through the decision to keep the child and get married. But not everyone has this privilege. We know of two other couples who got married around the same time as us due to pregnancy as well, and now both sets of couples are divorced. We are not any better than them, but we have to recognise that it is really the grace of God that has allowed us to stay married these last 14 years.

So, don’t look at our story and go, “Oh, it turned out rosy, you married him anyway!” We don’t want you to misunderstand and think that you can get away with doing things that are outside of what the Bible says that marriage and sex should be for!

DON'T LOOK AT OUR STORY AND GO, "OH, IT TURNED OUT ROSY, YOU MARRIED HIM ANYWAY! "

Ines, how do you feel knowing that your parents did not consider abortion despite the difficulties they could face?

Ines: Happy. If they considered abortion, I wouldn’t be alive right now. I wouldn’t be able to know my friends and family, and know the joy of living!

What dating advice does your mum give you?

Ines: She gave me like 20 criteria of what I need to look for in a guy! He must pay for my dinner, he must go to church, he must be a connect group leader…

Sarah: [laughs] Did I say he must be a connect leader? I can’t remember.

I want her to know that friendship and fellowship comes before a relationship. You may be friends, but are you actually aligned in the Spirit? It’s easy to look at common interests, how well you get along, and other things on the friendship level, and that seems to be enough reason to get into a relationship. But in a long term relationship, you need to have fellowship, which is being brother and sister in Christ first, and knowing that in the Spirit you are actually aligned!

In late November, Sarah delivered her third child, Nadia Joy De Winne, at 27 weeks + 4 days, who went to be with Jesus while still in the womb. She and Mark continue to journey on with their children Ines and Leon as they trust God’s plans for their family.