Wisdom – Kallos

Does the Bible Support Rape?

Jackie Hwang — Tue, 01 Jun 2021 10:25:00 +0000

Rape is a horrific crime, no matter when it happens or who
it happens to. So, some of us may be troubled that the Bible
records multiple accounts of rape, and even seems to penalise
victims of rape! JACKIE HWANG digs deeper into the issue.

It may be shocking for you to find accounts of rape in the holy Bible. As a young person, I was horrified when I first read these sections in the Bible. However, I was heartened to discover later that just because historical accounts of rape are recorded in the Bible doesn’t mean that God condones rape. On the contrary, the Bible mentions rape because God condemns it and wants us to know how He deals with these sinful acts.

IS SEXUAL VIOLENCE OKAY?
The most obvious accounts of God’s condemnation of rape are found in Genesis 19:1–25 and Judges 19–20. In both accounts, groups of men set out
to gang-rape the visitors to their cities. Then, innocent women were offered up
to be raped in the place of these visitors. A close look at these two accounts shows that God condemned these actions. In fact, Genesis 19 shows that the angels of God intervened and struck the violent mob with blindness (19:11). In both cases, God severely punished these cities shortly after these incidents of sexual violence (Gen 19:12–13, 29; Judg 20:23, 28). Thus, we should understand these two accounts as evidence that God condemns rape, and so should God’s people (cf. Judg 19:30).

THEN WHY DOES GOD COMMAND WOMEN TO MARRY THEIR RAPISTS?
Though God punished these cities for their sexual violence, other passages in the Bible seem to indicate that one consequence of rape is that women are to be given in marriage to their rapists. In particular, Deuteronomy 22:28–29 explicitly states that a man who rapes an unmarried woman needs to make a financial payment to her father and marry her. To modern ears, this verdict sounds outrageous! Why would God dictate that a victim of rape be ‘punished’
by being forever bound to her rapist? She never consented to the sexual act to begin with, so wouldn’t marriage possibly trap her in a situation of further sexual violence? Furthermore, the financial reparation seems to benefit only the father but not the victim herself.

GOD’S HEART FOR JUSTICE
It would be a mistake to take the law of Deuteronomy 22:28–29 as biblical support for rape. Neither should we see it as a legal stipulation for modern societies. What is important for us to remember is its principle to restore justice in a bad situation. Its purpose is to serve as a deterrent against rape, a corrective to sexual violence in a sinful world, and apathway toward justice in the case of wrongdoing against women. Even as its ancient context is different from our modern one, we can take to heart that God’s condemnation of rape and His concern for victims of sexual violence are timeless!

Do We Really Have Free Will?

Jackie Hwang — Sat, 01 May 2021 02:54:00 +0000

Do we really have free will — the ability to make our own decisions? Many answers have been offered by philosophers and theologians, but each answer generates more questions. I would not claim to answer this question once and for all. Instead, let me take us on a journey of discovery by exploring how this question is relevant to a Christian’s understanding of salvation.

FREE WILL, GOD’S SOVEREIGNTY, AND HUMAN RESPONSIBILITY
The question of free will is hotly debated by Christians who connect it to two particular biblical ideas. First, they contrast human free will with God’s sovereignty — His ultimate control over all things since He is the all-knowing and all-powerful God (Ps 33:10–11; Rom 8:28). We can understand this contrast as a question: If God is sovereign, then do humans have free will to make decisions about what He already knows or has even determined ahead of time?

This leads us to free will’s connection to a second biblical idea — human responsibility for sin. We can also frame this as a question: How can people be responsible for their sin if God already knows they will sin? In a sense, this question shifts the responsibility of human sin to God, because His sovereignty seems to cancel or override human free will!

However, the Bible denies that God is responsible for human sin, even whilst affirming that God is sovereign (Jas 1:13–18; cf. Rom 1:18–32). So, as Christians, we need to hold in tension God’s sovereignty with human responsibility when it comes to the issue of sin. We are each responsible for our own choice to sin and cannot blame God for it.

GOD’S KNOWLEDGE AND HUMAN SIN
One way to resolve the riddle of God’s sovereignty versus human responsibility is to understand that God’s knowledge of the future does not mean that He controls our actions. So, we separate knowing (God’s foreknowledge of us) and doing (our own choice to sin, whether from carelessness, giving in to weakness, or direct intention). However, this solution generates other questions, such as: Why doesn’t God stop us from sinning if He already knows we will sin? If God already knows we will choose to sin, does that leave us with any other alternatives to choose otherwise?

Questions like these are difficult to answer because they venture into the realm of hypothetical possibilities. Some theologians have attempted to provide answers to these types of questions, but others have critiqued them as guesses without biblical basis. Personally, I would say that we just don’t know, and perhaps can’t know, since there are limits to human understanding.

IF OUR ANSWERS TAKE US BEYOND WHAT THE BIBLE EXPLICITLY TEACHES, THEN IT IS UNWISE TO HOLD DEFINITIVELY TO SUCH ASSERTIONS.

Here’s a good rule to follow: If our answers take us beyond what the Bible explicitly teaches, then it is unwise to hold definitively to such assertions. I understand, though, this can also sound like a cop-out! It is difficult to find an answer to a hypothetical question that can satisfy everyone.

CAN WE SAVE OURSELVES?
If people — in having free will — are responsible for their sin, then they are also in need of salvation from sin. The need for salvation takes us to another set of questions regarding free will: If we are responsible for our sin, are we also responsible for saving ourselves? Or put another way, do humans have free will when it comes to saving ourselves?

THE BIBLICAL UNDERSTANDING OF THE HUMAN WILL IS THAT IT IS LIMITED BY SIN...

The answers to these questions are also complex. At the most basic level, we know that without Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross on our behalf, there would be no forgiveness for us and salvation from our sin. In fact, the overpowering influence of sin in our lives is what prevents us from saving ourselves (Rom 3:10–26). The biblical understanding of the human will is that it is limited by sin and so we are not completely independent in our choices. So, God’s intervention in carrying out a plan for salvation is necessary.

DO WE CHOOSE GOD OR DOES GOD CHOOSE US?
The debate on free will then turns to this question: How much does God’s sovereignty operate at the individual level in our choice to accept His offer for salvation (Eph 1:11–12)? This is a concern not so much when we think about those who are saved, but those who are not saved. And if we assert that our sinfulness means that we need God to save us, there remains this question: Why doesn’t God save everyone?

The fact that there are those who are not saved seem to indicate that God is either too stingy to save everyone — which is clearly not biblical (John 3:16) — or that human will is also an important factor in choosing salvation (Luke 13:23–24; Rom 10:9–10). If human will is actually the greater factor, then the responsibility in rejecting salvation lies more with us than with God.

On this note, there are some theologians who assert that God’s sovereignty means that His offer of salvation cannot be rejected by individuals whom He has chosen. However, this position can lead to this question: Is God ultimately responsible for their rejection of Him since He didn’t choose them?

One possible way to resolve this is by connecting God’s foreknowledge of people’s choice with His own choice of them for salvation. In essence, God chooses those whom He foreknew will choose Him. However, this logic is vulnerable to the charge that cause and effect have become confused with each other.

OUR FREE BUT LIMITED WILL
I hope our journey of discovery has helped you realise how complex these questions are. The main thing to keep in mind is that both God’s sovereignty and our will — free but limited — are in operation both in our salvation and in our lives. Keeping a balanced perspective is the key. The Bible teaches that we are neither the masters of our destiny nor puppets in the hands of a puppeteer.

Review: Soul

Eunice Sng — Mon, 01 Mar 2021 07:55:00 +0000

WARNING: This article contains spoilers.

I’ve been a fan of Pixar for as long as I can remember. Yet, my years of experience (and packs of tissues) did nothing to prepare me for the sucker punch of emotions Soul served out in this beautifully animated feature film.

The movie spotlights Joe, a disillusioned middle-school band teacher who unexpectedly loses his life. Joe, now a newly departed soul, winds up on a travellator headed straight into a blazing ball of light known as the Great Beyond. Terrified and unwilling to leave life on earth just as things were looking up, he runs away and ends up stumbling into the Great Before, where souls are prepped for life on earth. There, he meets an equally disgruntled soul named 22, who seems to resist being born just as much as he dreads being dead.

Soul good: Small actions, big impact
Joe isn’t willing to die because he thinks he hasn’t accomplished anything worthwhile. In a moment of sad realisation, he states, “My life was meaningless,” echoing Ecclesiastes 2:17 — “All of it is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.”

Stuck in what he sees as a dead-end job, he has bigger dreams of being a famous jazz musician, which he believes will give him the happiness he desires. Little does he realise that he was making a greater impact on people around him as a teacher than he ever could playing the piano on a big stage!

That’s one of the central messages of the movie — that even those who are doing seemingly mundane and underappreciated tasks can have an outsized impact. It took nearly losing his life to realise that chasing his dream career wouldn’t bring him lasting happiness; if anything, it just amplified the emptiness he had been trying to fill. Joe learns that what brings true meaning to life isn’t success or fame, but the deep relationships you build and the way you use your gifts to benefit others, not just yourself.

Soul questionable: The Great Before and the Great Beyond
While many religions embrace the concept of a holding area for souls before their physical body is created, the Bible emphasises that God creates humans as physical beings (Gen 2:7; Ps 139:13–16). The movie puts an emphasis on the autonomy of the soul separate from God or other higher powers, or even the connection to one’s physical body (22 could enter Joe’s body and Joe’s soul could enter a cat)! Soul also erases the traditional notion of heaven and hell, and takes away the gravity of how one’s actions on earth can affect where they go in the Great Beyond.

That said, the fictional explanations about life before and after death shouldn’t prevent you from taking in the fullness of Soul’s message — that each day is a gift and life is a blessing. True contentment comes only in living life to the fullest but with the understanding that God is the one who gave us life and all its possibilities. Ecclesiastes 3:12–13 summarises it perfectly — “I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil — this is the gift of God.”

Can a Christian Accept Evolution?

Quek Shiwei — Mon, 01 Mar 2021 07:35:00 +0000

It may surprise you that the answer to the question is “Yes!” There are many Bible-believing, God-loving Christians who think that evolution is an acceptable explanation for how life came about when they consider the available scientific data. However, it may also surprise you that there are a range of theories of evolution, and the popular idea that humans came from monkeys is not the only (or even primary) theory of evolution.

WHAT IS EVOLUTION?
The classic Darwinian evolutionary theory states that all species share a common ancestor, and variations amongst these species happen randomly based on an organism’s ability to adapt to different environments. Through the process of “natural selection,” the traits of the organism that best enables it to survive become more common in its descendants over time. This is the idea of the “survival of the fittest.” However, it does not explain how the first atoms came to be.

WHAT HAVE CHRISTIANS ACCEPTED?
Some Christians accept evolutionary creation or theistic evolution, whereby God is the creator of life and the first atoms, but used the evolutionary process to create all living things. The theory is that God created the first human by infusing a higher form of primate with a human soul.

Other Christians accept progressive creationism, according to which God created the first humans directly (not through evolution), but at several points in history, He also created new species by modifying existing creatures through “micro-evolution.” By this account, God would have directly created the first dog, from which new species of dogs then evolved.

One issue that Christians differ on is how literal the Genesis 1–2 account of creation is. On this basis, there are Christians who reject evolution completely and hold to young earth creationism, because they read Genesis 1 as saying that God created the world and its living things in six 24-hour days (“young earth” refers to how they do not believe that the earth is millions of years old).

DOES SCIENCE OPPOSE FAITH?
When considering views about evolution, there are some important questions for Christians to ask:
• Does this view go against core Christian beliefs (such as the death and resurrection of Jesus, God as the creator of life, and the reliability of Scripture)?
• Does it undermine the authority of Scripture given by God over our lives (2 Tim 3:16–17)?
• Does it deny that humans are made in God’s image, meaning that all human beings have inherent dignity, and the responsibility to look after God’s creation (Gen 1:27)?

Such questions help us to distinguish the ‘how’ questions that science answers (How did life come about? How did human beings become the dominant species on earth?) from the ‘why’ questions that faith answers (Why is God worthy of worship? Why love our neighbour as ourselves?).

DOES THIS VIEW GO AGAINST CORE CHRISTIAN BELIEFS?

When we do not confuse Scripture for a science textbook, we can arrive at a faith-based yet scientifically rigorous position. Scientific study involves careful observation, measurement, and experimentation to collect data that is used to develop, test, and modify hypotheses about how the world operates. A theory (such as evolution) is a hypothesis that has become widely accepted as the best way so far to make sense of the available scientific data (such as the age of fossils). But it is important to note that there are still many unknowns and that good scientists keep an open mind.

The key to approaching any scientific theory as a Christian is to be humble, neither being dogmatic about one’s position nor rejecting those that hold different positions. After all, what explanations one accepts from a theory of evolution does not determine what truths one believes and whether one is a genuine disciple of God. However, we should be wary when a scientific theory is used in a way that oversteps its limits (use the questions above to help you discern this).

THE BOTTOM LINE IS THAT SCIENCE AND FAITH DO NOT HAVE TO BE MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE.

The Darwinian view is not compatible with the Christian faith when it is used to reject God as the creator. On the other hand, other views of evolution can complement this belief. The bottom line is that science and faith do not have to be mutually exclusive. In fact, there are many respected scientists who are also prominent Christians, such as the biologist Francis Collins and the astronomer Jennifer Wiseman. When we acknowledge God as the creator who designed the natural world and its processes, we also admire Him as the ultimate scientist behind all scientific laws.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE HUMAN?
The questions that evolution theories seek to answer are really about the origins of life, what this says about being human, and how human beings are related to the rest of the natural world. No matter which theory you find most plausible, all Christians share certain basic beliefs about human existence.

Firstly, God made us in His image (Gen 1:26–27). This gives us dignity, worth, and purpose. We are not merely accidental products of random molecular processes, but intentional results of God’s workmanship (Eph 2:10).

Secondly, God willed us into existence (Ps 100:3). This means that we look to Him for the true meaning of our lives (Gal 2:20), and that our identity issues cannot be resolved apart from Him (Acts 17:28).

Thirdly, as humans created by the same God who created the natural world, we should not abuse our dominant position as humans to destroy nature through wasteful lifestyles (to “have dominion” in Gen 1:26 implies dutiful stewardship). Lastly, since God is the creator of all humankind, we ought to have compassion and empathy for all races, genders, and communities.

So, can a Christian accept evolution? Yes, but it depends on the definition of evolution, which must be tested against what the Bible says about human existence. While it may seem daunting to dig deeper into this scientific theory and how it relates to your faith, don’t be afraid to ask questions, do research, and bring your queries before God!

To dig deeper into this topic, check out these links!

Can I Go To Heaven If I Keep On Sinning?

Jackie Hwang — Mon, 01 Feb 2021 08:12:00 +0000

Imagine being a homeless orphan living on the streets. One day, you hear about a wealthy family who wishes to adopt all homeless orphans. The family comes to your city, and you and your friends eagerly take up the generous offer. You now live in a beautiful home and have everything you need — shelter, an education, and a wonderful sense of being loved. You don’t know what you have done to deserve this. They remind you daily that you have really been adopted, and you are now a member of the family.

Yet, a niggling doubt tears at you. Even though the family did not leave you alone but provided counsellors to help you assimilate into this new life, old habits die hard, and the ones you picked up on the streets are difficult to shake. You still hide food away in case you don’t have enough later. You still feel that you need to step on others to get what you need. You are still violent and easily angered. When you look at the other adopted children, they all seem to be doing much better than you are in their new lifestyle. You fear that sooner or later, the family will realise that you don’t deserve to be there. And every day, the fear grows … If you can’t change and adjust, will the family send you away?

This story mirrors the question, “Can I go to heaven if I keep on sinning?” It hides deeper questions about how far God’s grace would go to save us, and our responsibility after He has saved us. To answer it, we need to rethink our understanding of salvation.

Saved By God’s Grace Alone?
Like the orphans in the story, Christians are adopted into God’s family because of His lavish grace alone (Eph 2:5–6), and not because we deserve it (Eph 2:8–9). Only God’s grace can save because everyone is trapped by sin (Rom 8:7–8). Therefore, salvation from sin is only possible when God reaches into humanity through Jesus (Col 1:13–14). The fact that we don’t need to earn salvation is good news — it is the gospel!

THE FACT THAT WE DON’T NEED TO EARN SALVATION IS GOOD NEWS — IT IS THE GOSPEL!

“But what if after being saved, I feel like I can’t stop sinning? Does that mean I am not truly saved?”

After being saved by God’s grace, we can sometimes be confused about what it means to be saved by grace alone. I also had this doubt during my university days. After praying for God to forgive my sin, I promised that I would live my life for Him. God’s forgiveness brought a sense of relief from guilt, so I wanted to do my best with this new life in Jesus (John 3:16). To me, this meant turning my life around and following God’s commands. However, this desire to obey God soon met with disappointment because it was a difficult task. I was plagued by doubts about whether I was doing enough to remain in God’s saving grace. All in all, I was confused by what it meant to be saved by God’s grace alone. Many of us are like the orphan in the story, doubting whether we deserve to stay in God’s family because we continue to sin, and wondering what would happen to our salvation if we don’t change!

On this issue, the famous sociologist Max Weber (1864–1920) observed that Protestant Christians, having been saved by God’s grace alone, ironically try to “remain saved” by obsessing about not doing anything wrong. It is as if any misstep would prove they are not actually saved! But is this the right understanding of salvation?

Saved Into A New Life
In Romans 6, Paul passionately describes salvation in terms of life and death — being dead to sin and alive in Christ. When we become Christians, our previous status as sinners dies on the cross with Jesus, and we are given new life in Him. Therefore, we have a new identity which is more than just a second chance. We are not starting from scratch such that we need to accumulate good works all over again. The old way of keeping an imaginary ledger of right and wrong has been replaced by a constant source of positive credit through Christ’s new life and righteousness. Once we are saved in Christ, we shouldn’t seek to keep our salvation by our own effort (Rom 4:7-8).

This certainty of salvation by God’s grace alone may lead some to ask if Christians are given a blank cheque to sin. The answer is no (Rom 6:1–2)! Rather, we should understand our new life in Christ as empowerment by the Holy Spirit that helps us overcome temptation (Rom 8:1–17). Like the orphan, we have not been left alone to change ourselves. For Christians, Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to be our counsellor and teacher (John 14:15–18), and the Holy Spirit can speak directly to us through the Word of God and other Christians. We cannot live a righteous life by our own effort, but are growing with God’s help.

HEAVEN IS NOT A FARAWAY PLACE BUT A NEAR AND PRESENT REALITY IN THIS LIFE.

Saved For A New Hope
So, our salvation is assured by Christ and our growth is sure in the Spirit. Now, what about getting to heaven? Many people think of it as a faraway place that Christians go when they die. However, the Bible’s idea of heaven is closer than we may think. Jesus repeatedly says, “The kingdom of heaven has come near” (Matt 4:17; 10:7). He also uses “kingdom of heaven” when He describes what it looks like to follow Him (Matt 5:1–12; 13:1–52). To Jesus and His disciples, heaven is not a faraway place but a near and present reality in this life. It is getting to see God’s grace intersect our daily lives, not only in the distant future, so that evil and sin no longer have ultimate power over us. As Christians, this is witnessing heaven in this life!

Il-Lust-Trations: Is Anime The Enemy?

Nicole Soh — Fri, 01 Jan 2021 08:40:00 +0000

Are there any anime fans out there? I used to be a huge fan! Like most people, I was first drawn to anime because my friends were watching it too. Katekyo Hitman Reborn!, Free!, Maid Sama, and other anime series got me hooked. I enjoyed the friendships that the various anime portrayed, the action scenes, and the occasional romance. Anime was and still is a conversation starter for me among new friends — I like that we get to bond over our favourite characters or iconic anime scenes! However, you may have noticed the key phrase “I used to” — because I don’t watch anime as much as I did anymore.

Anime sometimes gets a bad reputation because it is seen as a highly sexualised genre. People associate anime with big-chested women, short skirts, and lustful men. But just like K-dramas or Hollywood films, anime can be classified into numerous genres, such as romance, comedy and so on. Just as you can’t say that all movies are bad, you can’t say that all anime is bad either. There are anime that contain great life lessons, tug at your heartstrings or get you laughing! Exciting action-filled anime and heart-warming series about friendship have brought me and many others a lot of joy, and as the anime-watching community expands, it also has the potential to be a place where some feel they truly belong.

THE DARK SIDE OF ANIME
For me though, while anime was a great source of simple enjoyment at first, it eventually showed its dark sides. While I started out watching anime innocently, I soon sunk into the ocean of anime fanservice, which refers to the practice of giving fans what they want. And more often than not, what the fans want is more sexually explicit content. When an anime could have shown a character with an eye-level shot, the popularity of fanservice would lead the anime makers to dress the character in a short skirt and present her with a low-level shot, effectively giving viewers a “panty-shot.” In other instances, steamy shower scenes, detailed scenes of a man or woman disrobing, or beach scenes with bikini-clad women galore would be included though they have little relevance to the plot. Sadly, my growing interest in fanservice of this nature led me into a pornography addiction that lasted nearly seven years.

WALKING IN THE LIGHT
Anime in and of itself is not pornography. But for me, the two became so closely linked. I knew I had to completely step away from anime because it was my gateway into sexual sin. I was always in the cycle of watching fanservice and pornography, peeling myself away, and running back to it over and over again. Being in church and hearing sermons about repentance and sin felt like God was convicting me to confess what was happening and to stop. Yet while my mind wanted to heed His call, my sinful heart refused, and I kept watching pornography and ignoring the Holy Spirit. The guilt in me kept growing. This season of actively sinning took a toll on my walk with God. As a church-going youth in a Christian family, I felt horrible about having two versions of myself. Here I was knowing what to do and say in church, but in secret, I was not living like Christ, and I knew it.

To make matters worse, I realised that anime and other sexual content were warping my view on relationships and friendships with guys. The anime I watched depicted women being sexually exploited and harassed. In action anime, women in authority were disrespected by men, and those who were superior in strength still ended up being undermined by men. In romance anime, girls who were not in a relationship were teased and put down, and a recurring theme was that the most attractive woman was always the most popular one, reinforcing the belief that I had to be physically attractive to be liked at all.

As the anime I watched affected my understanding of my value as a woman and how relationships should work, I started to misread situations with my male friends and overthink my connections with them. These were friendships that I treasured with guys in school and in church, and I knew that if I continued the way I was going, these relationships would only be strained further by my overthinking. All of this, coupled with the growing conviction of the Holy Spirit, led me to eventually leave pornography and anime behind me after seven long years.

When I decided to stop watching anime and pornography, I confessed my viewing habits to my mum for accountability. When it comes to sexual sins, it may feel like your hands are dirty, and it is difficult to tell anyone. But bringing sexual sin into the light takes the power of its secrecy away from the devil.

ANIME IN AND OF ITSELF IS NOT PORNOGRAPHY. BUT FOR ME, THE TWO BECAME SO CLOSELY LINKED.

STOP AND CHECK YOUR HEART
If you are feeling the nudge of the Holy Spirit right now, then the next step after this is a simple one. As Christian women, we should be discerning with anime, just as we try to be wise about the other types of media that we consume.

The next time you watch anime, ask yourself these questions honestly: Are the values shown in anime in line with what the Bible says? Do the way the female characters dress make you want to dress like them too? Has romantic anime affected your understanding of how relationships between guys and girls work? These questions don’t just apply to anime but other types of shows as well. The answers to them may not come immediately, but answer honestly! We are called to guard what enters and stays in our mind, as “we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Cor 10:5). If you decide that you need to put some distance between you and harmful anime (or any other type of show), seek out people you can be accountable to. There is no one watching over your shoulder to stop you from going back to it, and simple self-control isn’t always enough. Ask God for strength — this isn’t a battle you need to fight on your own.

BRINGING SEXUAL SIN INTO THE LIGHT TAKES THE POWER OF ITS SECRECY AWAY FROM THE DEVIL.

For the avid anime viewer who doesn’t feel they have a problem, take a step back to assess the time you spend on anime, and think about whether they have started to warp your own sense of what reality should look like. Anime, like all forms of media, rakes in profits for successful creators, and anime makers will definitely continue to give the fans what they want, whether it is truly beneficial or not. Yes, it can be morally neutral, but it can be really harmful as well! Just as you would with anything else, put it before the Lord and be frank about whether it can lead you to sin or to stumble in your walk with Him.

Finally, remember the words of Paul in Philippians 4:8 — “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things.”

The Truth About Dating Apps

Kallos Team — Fri, 01 Jan 2021 08:31:00 +0000

Is it wrong to use dating apps? For me, the short answer would be “No.” After all, that’s how I met my husband!

Dating apps and I go a long way back — but not in a good sense. You might call me a reluctant dating app user. Unlike most people, I never really seemed to care much about dating. As I got older, my mother, who used to say, “Study hard, don’t date,” would instead say, “Stop working, go meet people”! It wasn’t just her. My sisters were doing it too. You can imagine my horror when they discovered dating apps. They created profiles for me and started looking for “suitable” guys, even striking up conservations with them on my behalf. That marked my entry into the online dating world.

HOW YOU MEET IS NOT AS IMPORTANT AS WHO YOU MARRY.

In days of old, the only way that you could meet a potential marriage partner was through personal connections, such as friends and family. Technology has opened things up, allowing you to meet people you previously would not have been able to. There’s nothing wrong with dating apps in themselves. But at the end of the day, how you meet is not as important as who you marry. Just as with anything in life, wisdom and discernment is required.

During my stint with dating apps, I learned that while they can be effective, there are things we should be mindful of. If you’re thinking about using them, check your readiness below:

Know why you are on the app.
If you are not ready to get into a relationship with marriage as the end goal, maybe it is not the right time to use dating apps (or to date at all!). In the Song of Solomon, this phrase is repeated three times: “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires” (2:7, 3:5, 8:4). If you are not ready to date seriously or mature enough to discern a worthy spouse, then be patient! Whether online or offline, dating in a godly manner requires us to carefully consider Who, Why, and When we date.

I’ll be honest. I never really used the apps properly until it struck me that if I continued as I was, I would probably remain single, and I wasn’t yet sure if that was what I really wanted. It became clear that I had to make an active decision about singlehood, and so my Why was to meet single Christian guys to assess if I wanted to stay single or pursue marriage. Once my Why was clear, it was easy to talk to the guys and I even got a chance to encourage some of them as brothers in the faith.

Use the app safely.
There are all types of online dating apps, and some are safer than others.

While I started out using both OKCupid and Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB), I quickly abandoned OKCupid. There were far too many weird messages coming from older men. I felt preyed on. CMB was far better as it allowed me to message and get to know someone on the platform first before I gave them my phone number. Some apps even allow you to set filters such that only you (the female) can initiate a conversation, preventing you from receiving unwanted advances from men. Do your research, and choose apps that keep you safe.

THE MORE LIKES ON MY PROFILE, THE MORE ATTRACTIVE I MUST BE? THAT WAS FAR FROM THE TRUTH.

The other way to stay on safe ground is through your profile. I decided to be very upfront about my faith, because I believed that someone who would ‘swipe right’ on such a girl was unlikely to be weird or bad. I also decided to only swipe right on guys who were not shy about declaring their love for God.

Finally, assuming that you are a teenager, never meet someone you met on a dating app without your parents’ knowledge. Avoid disclosing personal information like your home address or school until you are certain that this is a person who is worthy of your trust. Keep yourself accountable to a trusted church leader and wise friends. Think about how you can keep yourself safe!

To go back to the question on whether it is okay to use dating apps, you now have my long answer. There is nothing inherently wrong with them, but I would encourage you to first examine your motivation for using them, determine your readiness to date before jumping in, and always prioritise your safety. Whether you meet your future spouse on an app or bump into him on the street is really not the important thing — what matters most is that you have sought the Lord, and found the right person in His right time. Trust in His timing, and let Him lead you!

Are Tattoos A Sin?

Quek Shiwei — Thu, 26 Nov 2020 15:10:00 +0000

When Christians talk about the issue of tattoos, a common verse used to argue against getting them is Leviticus 19:28, which says, “Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD.” At first glance, the answer seems clear — tattoos are an absolute no! However, it is important to understand a Bible verse in its cultural context before applying what it teaches to our time and place. In this case, the command is related to specific practices of other cultures that worshipped idols. For example, some cut their flesh as an appeal to their gods (1 Kgs 18:28), while others tattooed the names of Canaanite gods on their bodies. Also, this verse from Leviticus sits in a list of instructions about holy living and appropriate conduct in a specific time and place, some of which are no longer relevant in modern-day society, like the length of a man’s beard (Lev 19:27) or the permitted materials for one’s clothing (Lev 19:19). It would not occur to you that wearing T-shirts, which are often a blend of cotton and polyester, could be a sin! It is clear that the response to whether having tattoos is a sin cannot rely on Leviticus 19:28.

Does this then mean that tattoos are all right after all, and so we should have no qualms about getting one? While there are some instances where the answer would be an outright no (e.g. getting a tattoo with satanic imagery or the names of other gods), I can’t answer that question directly for you. However, here are a few questions that I have often found helpful when dealing with grey areas:

What is your motivation for doing so, and is this the only way to fulfil it?
For some, getting a tattoo is innocent fun and helps them to express their artistic side. For others, it can be a sign of rebellion, to assert their identity in a way that differs from what their parents or society may expect. Tattoos are often seen as a rite of passage for people who join a gang and a way to declare where their allegiance lies.

One young lady whose body was covered entirely in tattoos told me that she was addicted to getting them because she liked the numbing effect that helped her forget her emotional pain. She had one done right before a church camp, and she felt that the physical effects were causing her to not be able to focus on God. In this case, getting a tattoo was the equivalent of a drug for her to escape her pain, which is not a healthy motivation.

Some may say that tattoos are OK if they are “Christian” ones (e.g. Bible verses, a cross) to help them remember to honour God. Unfortunately, having such a tattoo did not stop some women I know from having pre-marital sex and straying from God. It is by His grace that they came back to Him. If your goal is to remember God’s Word or to mark a spiritual milestone, are there any other ways of doing so that could be more effective and include your community to hold you accountable?

SOME MAY SAY THAT “CHRISTIAN” TATTOOS ARE OK IF IT HELPS THEM REMEMBER TO HONOUR GOD.

As daughters of God, we must bring our motivations to God, surrender them to Him, and let Him speak to us if any of them are unhealthy and need to be thought through again.

Does this honour your parents?
If, after studying God’s Word, you find that certain tattoos are indeed not a sin, would you still go ahead with getting one if your parents or guardians disapproved, and you may disappoint or hurt them? How would this affect your long-term relationships with them or your grandparents, siblings, and extended family?

How will others view this?
Tattoos are viewed differently in every culture. I encourage you to have conversations with people from different generations, industries, and countries, and be proactive and rigorous in finding out how tattoos can be viewed in each context. While they are increasingly accepted in many nations, they can still be a stumbling block to many. As our world becomes more connected, one Christian’s tattoo can deeply trouble a Christian in another part of the world.

A missionary friend tattooed a Christian symbol on his shoulder so that it would not be visible when he worked in different countries. However, he once went swimming in Romania with a Christian family, and the grandmother was so shocked to see it that she actually asked her son if this missionary was truly a believer. While I know he is one, his innocent tattoo caused a misunderstanding that could have long-term implications for his credibility in the mission field.

While we do have freedom to make choices guided by our interpretation of God’s Word and our conscience, it is helpful to remember Paul’s exhortation to “Be careful, however, that the exercise of your rights does not become a stumbling block to the weak.” (1 Cor 8:9).

Could this cause any long-term health issues?
It is possible to have skin infections and complications, as well as allergic reactions to tattoo ink, even years later. Some people have experienced skin inflammations, formed keloids, or even contracted blood-borne diseases such as Hepatitis B, C and the super bug called methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA). Though many colourings have been approved for use in cosmetics, the US’s Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has not approved them for use under the skin.

Will you regret this?
Unless you undergo painful removal treatments, tattoos are permanent, which is the whole reason why people want them. However, we do hear stories of people who get a tattoo of their lover’s name, only to regret it when they break up. Moreover, a certain tattoo may be fashionable in 2020, but look regrettably outdated in 2040. And while some industries are accepting of tattoos, many are not, which means a prominent tattoo may exclude you from some job opportunities or prejudice particular groups against you, however unfairly.

EVERY DECISION WE MAKE SHOULD BE EDIFYING TO OTHERS AND BRING GLORY TO GOD.

So, what’s the verdict?
As Paul noted, “not everything is beneficial” even though you might insist that you have the right to do anything you want (1 Cor 10:23). Every decision we make should be edifying to others and bring glory to God. Instead of asking, “What is right and wrong?”, I have often found it more helpful to ask, “Who do I belong to?” This has helped guide me in many decisions, so that I can make them from the position of being a beloved daughter of God, rather than out of fear of punishment from Him.

The Bible is not always explicit about every matter, but part of Christian maturity is taking the time to do the hard work of studying the Bible on topics that are not so clear, drawing out the principles that are relevant to us today, then applying them to our lives. Thankfully, God has given us the church community to help us discuss and interpret God’s Word together! When you can make decisions based on your personal convictions and conversations with others and with God through His Word and prayer, you are growing as a disciple of God.

Review: The Album by Blackpink

Quek Shi Yun — Thu, 26 Nov 2020 01:09:00 +0000

I have a confession. Before reviewing this album, I have never heard a Blackpink song. I know, how is that possible?! They’ve broken the record for the most-viewed YouTube video in 24 hours (twice!), have two music videos with one billion views on YouTube, and their latest album has already hit a million pre-orders. I must have been living under a rock!

With their finely balanced mix of innocent sweetness (the pink) and a cool edginess (the black) complete with hip hop-inspired dance moves and a rap in every song, Blackpink is a band like no other. Their aesthetic fits right in with the age of girl power, which blends independence and self-assurance with the joy of being female, and truth be told, I see Blackpink’s appeal.

These are women who seem to exude confidence, and not because they have a man. In fact, on ‘Lovesick Girls,’ they declare, “Didn’t want to be a princess, I’m priceless/ A prince not even on my list.” On ‘Love to Hate Me,’ they stand up against those who try to tear them down, while their final track, ‘You Never Know,’ is an anti-hate anthem that encourages people not to judge. These feel-good messages encourage their viewers not to tag their worth to others’ words — instead, they should see the inherent value in themselves.

Yet at the same time, the confidence seen in their lyrics is accompanied with a not-so-subtle show of sexuality in their performances. With their sensual dance moves, revealing outfits, and suggestive lyrics, Blackpink isn’t all sugar and spice. ‘Ice Cream’ shocked K-pop fans with its sexually explicit lyrics, and ‘Bet You Wanna,’ a collab with Cardi B, is a flirty song rife with innuendo: “From the club to the tub/ You said you wanna / Give me an all-night hug.” There’s also a lot more swearing in English on this Korean-language album than you might expect, with the B-word casually tossed out throughout.

I’ve become a fan of their catchy tunes and powerful vocals, but I can’t deny a slight disappointment in the direction they’ve taken. I’m all for women having confidence, but I wish that “confidence” wasn’t equated to in-your-face sexuality, or even self-sufficiency alone. The Album plays with ideas of female empowerment, but it’s a far cry from a complete picture of femininity. Yes, we are called to respect ourselves and each other as we are all made in the image of God (Gen 1:27) and no gender has more privilege in Christ (Gal 3:28). But the confidence of a Christian comes in her identity as a child of God rather than her ego (Rom 8:14–16; Phil 3:3). Godly beauty doesn’t come from putting our bodies on display (1 Pet 3:3–4) — it comes from fearing the Lord (Prov 1:7; 31:30) and loving Him wholeheartedly (Deut 6:5).

Just as with their previous works, The Album sets out to inspire women to know their worth and get what they want. It’s a worthwhile message on the surface, but relies on popular ideas about strength and femininity that should warrant a second look. There is no doubt that Blackpink will continue to be a pop-culture phenomenon, and I’m hopeful for how they can use their influence in the most positive way.

Review: Folklore by Taylor Swift

Eunice Sng — Wed, 16 Sep 2020 03:40:00 +0000

Singer-songwriter Taylor Swift pivots in style from her last two albums and settles in for a melancholic documentation of relationships and life in her latest record, Folklore. In the midst of a pandemic, its self-reflective charm paints a narrative escape just like that of an oasis in the desert. Folklore takes us through Swift’s musings, rants, and belief systems, a far cry from the controversial Reputation but nowhere near the energising pop anthems on Lover. Swift goes back to her singer-songwriter roots in this one, hardened from past battles, yet open and vulnerable.

Swift draws inspiration from her vault of past experiences, coupled with historic figures, events, and even movies, whilst encircling her tried and tested theme of love and its failings. It all begins with “the 1”, a post-breakup meditation where Swift fantasises about what could have been and looks back on a past relationship with rose-tinted glasses. This track’s easy-listening vibe carries on throughout the album, but the themes are anything but light.

In “mad woman”, Taylor does her take on the phrase “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”. Here, she laments the injustice of how a toxic ex-boyfriend gets away with everything, being able to seamlessly move on to his next “victim”, while she is left carrying the grudges and hurts of their broken relationship. She points to the notion that not all anger is unfounded, playing out scenes of retaliation but biding her time and choosing inaction while simultaneously seething inside.

The whole album soon fades to an end with the beautifully haunting melodies on “hoax”, its repetitive melody resembling that of a music box that gets wound up only to play out the same expected outcome. It’s a sad tale of a protagonist who longs for love from a partner even though she knows the love isn’t true: “Your faithless love’s the only hoax I believe in / Don’t want no other shade of blue but you / No other sadness in the world would do.”

Though the album is catchy and fun to listen to, I would proceed with a guarded heart. Swift is a master of making us feel wistful about young love (even if we’ve never even been through it!), and while this album’s ethereal quality may make you long for the experience, clearly not all the love she describes is healthy.

Don’t get me wrong — I love the album. It’s a beautiful tribute to the Taylor I knew and loved. It also shows her growth as a person and as a musician. Yet, it’s easy to be drawn into romanticising, or longing, for a broken relationship at the strum of a tune.

I think that’s why the Bible warns us to “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Prov 4:23). It would be much more fulfilling to let the wisdom of God guide our thinking and feeling instead of songs and songwriters, no matter how much we admire them.