Accountability – Kallos

What Did You Say?

Kallos Team — Tue, 01 Jun 2021 10:07:00 +0000

CHALLENGE RULES

Before the challenge begins, spend some time reading through a list of verses on speech and the power of words. Meditate on them and ask God to show you the power of words and the importance of watching what you say.
For one week, when you feel tempted to gossip, be rude, or snap back at others, refer to the practical handles provided to help you out.

Challengers: Sarah Chen, 17

1. I play tennis
2. I have a sweet tooth
3. I enjoy playing Christian music on my guitar

VERSES ON THE POWER OF WORDS

– PROVERBS 13:3, 16:24, 18:19, 18:31
– MATTHEW 15:18,12:36
– EPHESIANS 4:29
– COLOSSIANS 3:8, 4:6
– JAMES 3:3–6, 9–12

PRACTICAL HANDLES FOR TAMING THE TONGUE!

• Take a deep breath and count to 10 before snapping back when you are angry.
• Choose to walk away instead of engaging in gossip sessions.
• Be firm to make your stand that you do not wish to engage in gossip sessions.
• Ask yourself, “Do I want a friend to be sharing my personal life with others?” when you are tempted to divulge a friend’s sharing with you.
• Ask yourself, “If Jesus is sitting here and is a part of this conversation, would He be pleased at my behaviour?”
• Begin your day with prayer and ask God to give you wisdom and awareness over your words.
• Choose to speak words that edify and inspire instead.

FIRST THOUGHTS
After meditating on the verses provided, I had these thoughts and reflections:

– Words can easily tear people down and can leave a long-lasting scar on people’s hearts.
– Words can also build people up — more than you can imagine.
– What we choose to say determines the kind of relationship we have with the people around us.
– A slip of the tongue happens easily, thus, not only do we need to be mindful of what we say, but we should also surround ourselves with godly friends and remove ourselves from ‘dangerous situations’.

Initially, I thought it would be a simple challenge for me as I am cautious with my words. However, on closer reflection, I realised that I can be quite harsh towards my family members (more specifically my younger siblings). I also easily find myself in the middle of a gossip session with friends. Even though I don’t often contribute, I asked myself: Is agreeing and allowing the conversation to continue equally as bad?

I struggle with my tone and word choices towards my siblings the most. It usually comes off as irritation whenever they ask me for help and can even come across as condescending. As an older sibling, I feel like I have a sense of authority over my younger siblings and have probably developed such a tone over time.

As I see my family members every day, speaking to them this way has become a habit. I wonder how this challenge will go for me!

CHALLENGE TIME!
Day 1: At the start of the day, I tended to speak before I think, struggling to hold back what I wanted to say. For example, when I was training with my younger brother, I told him that he was not playing well instead of encouraging him to do better. In other words, my words tore him down rather than built him up. However, I identified this immediately and regretted what I said. The rest of the day was better — when I knew something unkind was about to come out of my mouth, I managed to stop myself.

Day 2: Today wasn’t difficult as I was mainly in school and I am usually very careful with my words when I am around friends. I think first impressions and reputation are very important in school, and thus I am subconsciously more careful about what I say.

Day 3: During CCA, my friends and I were talking about how one of the guys isn’t committed to the CCA and is a deadweight to the team. As he is my classmate, I contributed by telling them negative things about what he is like in class. I didn’t think much of it at first, but upon reflection, I think enjoying the conversation and wanting to hear the gossip also constitutes gossiping. I regretted what I said, especially since I consider him a friend, but during the conversation it just came out naturally.

On the bright side, I managed to stop myself from snapping at my sister when she annoyed me. I paused for a few seconds and asking myself, “If Jesus were here, would He be pleased with my behaviour?” before addressing her.

Day 4: I had Student Council Investiture today! I didn’t find it difficult to watch my speech as I spent time that morning meditating on the verses and was also in a good mood throughout the day. I also witnessed the power of encouragement and words of affirmation. Hearing my friends cheer me on and all the student councillors supporting one another was very heart-warming.

Day 5: I didn’t have much difficulty today except for one slip-up when I was very focused on my work and my brother asked me to identify a Chinese word. I said, “There’s a dictionary for a reason.” That probably demoralised him as he struggles with Chinese and I should have phrased it in a nicer way. I can work on controlling my tone and speech towards my siblings by stopping whatever I am doing when I speak to them, giving them my full attention. When I am distracted, I tend to be careless with my words and just return to my old habits.

Day 6 and 7: I met my friends from my previous school whom I haven’t seen in a very long time and shared a lot about my new school life and the people in it. On hindsight, I don’t think it was a good representation of who these people are. I completely left out the positive sides to them, and the conversation wasn’t very uplifting or encouraging.

LAST THOUGHTS
Even though I didn’t struggle much with my speech around my friends, I definitely did with my family! The list of verses and practical handles did come in handy actually! They really helped me start the day right as I looked at them every morning. Surprisingly, my prayers before meals helped to keep me in check too. They served as checkpoints throughout the day to talk to God and be reminded of my intention for the day, which was to watch my words. Simply pausing before speaking also helped a lot in being intentional about changing my phrasing of words and the tone I was about to speak in.

I will continue to meditate on the verses and cultivate a habit of watching my speech especially at home. I want to ask for God’s guidance every morning as well as be more encouraging towards people. I am definitely still a work in progress but I am glad that this challenge allowed me to be moulded more in this aspect!

Accountability Challenge

Kallos Team — Sat, 01 May 2021 03:11:00 +0000

CHALLENGE RULES

Find an accountability partner. Write down three goals that you would like to achieve respectively. Share them with each other and the practical ways that you plan to achieve them.
Focus on one goal per week and remain accountable to each other on your progress!

Challengers: Lucy Chung and Zaara Bharuah, 13

Fun Fact:
We’ve known each other since we were five and attend the same youth group in church.

ZAARA'S GOALS

1. Reading the Bible daily
2. Not giving in to peer pressure and gossip
3. Cultivating patience with friends and family

LUCY'S GOALS

1. Not being affected by peer pressure (swearing, gossiping, fitting in, etc.)
2. To desire reading the Bible daily
3. Fighting against jealousy of my friends’ freedom to use social media

FIRST THOUGHTS
Zaara: When I received this challenge I knew that it would take me out of my comfort zone to be held accountable to a friend for the things that I struggle with. Lucy and I decided to do a weekly check-in on Sunday to share updates about how the week has gone, and to pray through specific prayer requests that might arise. We also plan to drop each other a text each day to find out how the other person is doing.

Lucy: I have to admit I’m quite nervous about completing these goals. Usually when I’m tasked to do something, I stall till the very last minute. I’m going to try my best for this challenge and ask Zaara and my parents for encouragement!

WEEK ONE
Zaara (Reading the Bible daily): Honestly, it takes a lot of effort to pick up my Bible and read it. I’m slightly ashamed that I have a lot of catching up to do. A huge help was when Lucy shared verses with me that I wrote down and placed on the door of my closet to encourage and motivate me. A change was evident as I persisted to spend more time reading and meditating on God’s word! It was a tough and draining week, but I found myself talking to God whenever I was overwhelmed. During church, I was also able to be more attentive. Spending more alone time with God this week had an impact!

Lucy (Not being affected by peer pressure): Sometimes, I find that my choices are affected by my friends’ opinions, and it’s extremely tempting to ‘copy’ what others do in order to fit in. I challenged myself to ask God to give me strength to think twice before doing or saying something I might regret after, such as swearing or gossiping. This week was really challenging since I’m surrounded by all forms of peer pressure every day. When I shared with Zaraa about my temptation to gossip, she shared her past experiences when she had gossiped and regretted it later on. Knowing that she didn’t judge me and could relate to my struggle assured me, and it encouraged me to press on in my challenge to avoid gossiping.

WEEK TWO
Zaara (Not giving in to peer pressure and gossiping): This week, there were multiple instances when my friends talked about another person. In the past, I have caught myself joining in even though I know it is wrong. I believe that the reason why I find it difficult to rebuke my friends is because I care about my friends’ opinions, want to fit in, and I fear rejection. Though I was greatly tempted to join in on the conversations, I made it clear to them that what they were doing was wrong and if they continued on with it, I couldn’t be part of the conversation. On multiple occasions I was surprised to see my friends reflect on what they were doing and stop the conversation all together!

Lucy (To desire to read the Bible daily): Bible reading is set into my schedule every other day; it feels more like homework and not a relationship with God. My mum shared some encouraging Bible verses and quotes to spur me on. One quote said, “the more you read, the more you learn from it.” But even so, I am often tempted to just skip a day of Bible reading and read an engaging book instead. Zaara and I talked about the temptation we faced to avoid reading the Bible every day, but we encouraged each other with creative ideas to make Bible reading fun. She told me that doing little calligraphy drawings on the side of her Bible of a certain verse she wanted to remember helped her meditate on the verse through the day. That was something I had not thought of before!

WEEK THREE

Zaara (Cultivating patience with friends and family): Once I started making an effort to read the Bible daily, I found it easier to be more patient with my friends. Many times I found myself silently praying to God, “give me patience, give me patience,” when I was tempted to lose my cool. I was looking for a perfect friend who was always there for me, and when I looked at my own friends, I didn’t see that. That realisation made me snap at them as I got impatient. By cultivating patience, I’ve realised that only God can be that perfect friend of mine! I still struggle with this but that’s okay. I believe that if I continue to grow my relationship with God, He can work in me and mould me in this aspect.

Lucy (Fighting against jealousy of my friends’ freedom to use social media): Compared to many, I don’t use social media because my parents feel that I don’t need social media at this age. While I understand their concerns, I do get jealous of my friends’ freedom at times. At times, I feel left out from the latest trends on Instagram or TikTok. Zaara encouraged me by telling me that social media can promote gossip and peer pressure, which helped me to not feel as jealous of it. Also, since she has Instagram, she told me that there’s lots of stuff you don’t want to come across, so she sticks to certain topics to view such as her friends, art, etc. Having her personally tell me this helped me feel more confident about what I researched about social media on the Internet, and the decision I made with my parents not to have social media for now.

FINAL THOUGHTS
Zaara: The hardest goal for me was probably reading and meditating on the Bible daily. I generally struggle with having self-discipline for things I have no motivation for. However, this challenge helped me to kickstart a new habit. I am also thankful that Lucy shared encouraging verses and quotes with me to motivate me. With accountability, I was “forced” to hold myself accountable to Lucy about the things I struggle with and how I could change them. Without accountability, I honestly don’t think I would have found the courage to step out of my comfort zone to change my old habits!

Lucy: Reading the Bible daily was the hardest goal for me too as it required a lot of perseverance. Having Zaara helped more than I thought it would. Since we were going through these goals together, we could relate to and encourage each other. Now I think I understand why people do one-on-one Bible studies, attend cell groups, and church; we all need community to build us up in our lives! With accountability from Zaara, we were able to persevere through the three weeks to complete our goals!