Media – Kallos

How to follow Jesus on social media

Kallos Team — Fri, 01 Apr 2022 05:07:00 +0000

Digital creator STEPHANIE PHUA explores how we can keep Christ at the centre of our social media use.

There’s a lot I don’t like about social media, so I’ll admit it: when God called me to work in the social media space, I was a little upset. And annoyed. Maybe more than a little.

For a bit of context on my career — I run an advertising agency that focuses on creating content on social media. As the years have gone by, I have had more and more experience creating content both on my personal platform and for my clients. But the truth is that some days, I struggle to find meaning and purpose on social media.

It has been an interesting journey, especially as someone who was born into a world where the Internet hadn’t existed yet. The convenience of access to the interwebs now has thrust our generation into having to navigate a whole new world. It’s scary that a channel that reflects our identity and makes it accessible to the rest of the world is so easily available through a smartphone that exists in our pockets.

THE BEST THING THAT I CAN DO IS TO FOLLOW JESUS. EVEN ON SOCIAL MEDIA.

Taking a look around every time I step into a public space, especially on public transport, it wouldn’t be surprising to see people glued to their screens scrolling through one of the many social media platforms — TikTok, YouTube or Instagram. It often amazes me how much has changed!

Being an introvert and someone who enjoys deeper conversations with people IRL, and who is disinclined to broadcast my life on social, I’ve had to press in deep on what it means to navigate this space as a believer. As I’ve journeyed through this, I have come to realise that just as with any aspect of my life, the best thing that I can do is to follow Jesus. Even on social media.

DON’T FORGET YOUR IDENTITY

Social media has a way of trying to rob you of your identity and redefining it. The Internet says you’ll be more ‘liked’ if you take nice photos, edit them well, have flawless skin, and do a mean TikTok dance. You’ll get more attention if you have an opinion that is loud, strong, and divisive. You’ll be more accepted if you share the sentiments of the echo chamber.

It’s easy to get swept up and link your identity too closely to the numbers online; it is crucial to have the discipline to remind yourself where your identity lies. You are a daughter of Christ. You are loved, you are chosen, you are redeemed — no matter how many followers you have on your platform.

As we are called to be salt and light in a world that needs them to taste and see the goodness of God (Matt 5:13–16), you are an influencer no matter how many or few followers you have. There is no need to chase numbers. There is no need for likes to validate you. See yourself how God sees you, not through the lens of others.

Your Father loves you for who you are and it is He who has also given you this platform for your voice to be heard Because of its proliferation, social media is a powerful channel that can be used for outreach, which leads me to the next point — that it’s crucial that we see it as a gift that should be stewarded well.

STEWARD IT WELL

Jesus says in Matthew 5:15 that nobody lights a lamp and puts it under a bowl: “instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.” In the same vein, I do believe that social media can be a “stand” we can leverage to give light to those around us, “that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

I used to take to Instagram stories as an outlet for my emotions: if I was tired, feeling angsty or annoyed in general, it was an easy way for me to rant to others, get validation from my friends, and move on with life. It took a fellow believer to point out that my social media platform should be treated as a sacred space, especially so if I felt called to

YOU ARE AN INFLUENCER NO MATTER HOW MANY OR FEW FOLLOWERS YOU HAVE.

ministry in this space. Were we not called to “do everything without grumbling or arguing” (Phil 2:14)? If I aired such emotions on my public platform in such a self-centred and negative way, was I painting a positive picture of what a Christian should be?

WHAT WOULD JESUS POST? DOES WHAT YOU POST GLORIFY GOD?

That made me a lot more intentional about the content I was posting. To ensure that what I’m posting sets a good example of Christian living, I’ve set certain guardrails to examine the condition of my heart — a heart check, if you will — before posting anything, anywhere:

Why are you posting? For connection? Affirmation? Pride?
What has God called you to steward in this space? What topics should you lend your voice to?
What would Jesus post? Does what you post glorify God?
How can you love others through this channel?
How can we amplify the truth of what we know through this channel? Is it always right to keep quiet about certain topics? Count the cost of speaking up or staying silent.

DRAW BOUNDARIES

Proverb 4:23 states, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Let’s get real — social media is one of the distractions that has easiest access to your heart. What is it you reach for, first thing in the morning? When both the Word of God and Instagram exist on the same device, I’ll be honest in admitting that I often struggle to choose the Bible over social media. Beyond time spent idling on the platforms, another way the enemy could rob us of quality time with our Father would be getting us to be invested in the lives of influencers or celebrities. Here’s a great question to consider: should you be limiting your screen time so that you don’t allow these things to become idols? Create your own boundaries for when, where, and how long you use social media, so that you can choose to guard your heart with the wisdom of God.

ARISE, SHINE

Just as I had to learn that there should not be any distinction between my identity at church and my identity elsewhere, living authentically in Christ means that there should also not be any distinction between my identity online and my identity offline.

In a space that glorifies appearances and champions cancelling, we need to be a generation that dares to be counter-cultural, so that others can experience the goodness of God through our channels.

Let us commit to staying in step with God as we journey through life and learn about our identities, our unique voices, and our callings. Let us live our lives authentically in Christ, no matter where we find ourselves — in our homes, workplaces, churches, on social media, the metaverse, and beyond.

Kill It With Kindness

Kallos Team — Fri, 01 Apr 2022 05:03:00 +0000

Perhaps you know someone who has been flamed or cancelled online, or experienced cyberbullying and threats. Or perhaps you are that person. What should you do when faced with unkindness online? CAROL LOI, digital literacy educator, mum, and youth coach, shares her personal story and how she overcame getting cancelled.

Having been active on social media for the past 15 years, I have seen how technology has evolved, and have experienced the good and the bad on social media. I made new friends and caught up with old ones, learned from others’ experiences, and have had opportunities to reach out to people in their times of need.

However, sometimes social media isn’t a safe place. As I talk to young people, I hear stories of cyberbullying, flaming, gossip, and betrayal, causing them to feel afraid of speaking up on social media for truth and justice in case they are ‘cancelled’ online. I am not exempt from this fear as well.

GETTING FLAMED

Early last year, there was a public discussion on a youth’s experience with gender dysphoria. Perhaps you remember it too. The government ministry involved clarified its position on its social media platform and the post attracted much criticism. I saw the online commotion and noticed that there was a perspective that was missing. The ministry had provided its position, the youth shared their experience, but the voice of the parents of the youth did not surface anywhere. As a digital literacy educator, I have developed the skill of identifying what is missing in a narrative, but was hesitant to point that out in the midst of a heated public argument. As usual, I prayed before engaging in the controversial conversation online, to ask God if I was supposed to be involved.

Sensing a ‘’yes,’’ I took a deep breath, and put up a short post to thank the ministry for its efforts in managing the situation, and made a call to the public to provide the youth as well as the parents space to discuss and resolve the issue in the best interest of the youth. I was quickly flamed for using the gender pronoun that the ministry used in the post to refer to the youth. I was called names, accused of hating others, and the hate toward me spread to other social media platforms. My friends texted me to show me the posts, and were concerned for me.

I had expected unpleasant comments, but did not expect the extent of people’s anger, including attempts to discredit and remove me from my capacities in my professional and community work.

HOW DO I FACE THE FLAMES?

Over the years there have been people who threatened my safety on different social media platforms. There were people who tracked down my ministry and wrote to others in my industry with the aim of cancelling me.

FEELINGS SUCH AS ANGER, FEAR, AND ANXIETY WERE HIGH AT THE START OF SUCH EPISODES.

Feelings such as anger, fear, and anxiety were high at the start of such episodes. I would get angry at accusations against me. I was afraid of what the accusers could possibly do to me and my family. I was tempted to also digitally trace the people who tried to cancel me. I was upset that I needed to spend energy to deal with false accusations when I could have been supporting another child, youth, parent, or educator in my professional and community work. It felt like my precious time had been stolen from me and I couldn’t report the theft to anyone.

I have mixed feelings about such incidents. On the one hand, I really dislike the negative emotions. On the other hand, I have learned that these incidents are great opportunities for me to apply my biblical worldview, asking myself: “Why do I do what I do?”; “How can I do what I do better as an ambassador of Christ?”; and “What is my role in God’s Grand Story through this situation?” These incidents are also excellent opportunities for me to experience what the fruit of the Spirit looks like in practice (Gal 5:22–23).

I PRAYED FOR THOSE WHO WERE ANGRY WITH ME.

Perhaps you have faced the sting of nasty words against you, or the betrayal of having your secrets or images posted online. After reflecting on last year’s ordeal, the following thoughts come to mind, which I hope helps anyone fighting fires online.

I CAN PRAY WITH CONFIDENCE

I prayed before I engaged online to ask God if it is something that I should do, and if so, I asked Him to be with me as I did. I prayed during the ordeal when I read what others said about me and found out what others were doing to me. I prayed whenever I felt anger and the temptation to take revenge.

In the few times when I needed to make clarifications against accusations, I prayed for wisdom to use the right words, doing my best to respond with gentleness and respect. I prayed for those who were angry with me, and was reminded that their anger may not be caused by me, but rooted in their past hurts that they may have experienced. Whenever I engaged with God even as I engaged online, I felt His love and shalom peace, which helped me through whatever emotion or temptation I faced.

I also rallied others to pray for me. The wisdom and responses from my friends, especially when they prayed for me and sent me verses to meditate upon, greatly comforted me. I was really thankful that God sent people around me in my times of need.

I AM PART OF A GRANDER STORY

I was reminded of God’s Grand Story, which culminated when Jesus died on the cross and rose again. Now that I am reconciled with God through Christ, I have been given the ministry of reconciliation (2 Cor 5:18). I am to use all my gifts, talents, and time to reconcile others to Christ. I do not need to engage in every situation, but I am called to do what I can with what God has given me. I want to be an effective ambassador of Christ (2 Cor 5:20), so that even though others may not have read the Bible nor know who Jesus is, when they read my posts and responses to differing opinions online, they should see a reflection of Christ.

WHEN ONLINE FLAMES THREATEN TO ENGULF US, WE CAN KILL IT WITH KINDNESS, BALANCED WITH TRUTH

So when I see injustice or falsehoods, I check with God to ask what He wants me to do; sometimes I am to pray for those involved, and sometimes I am to provide perspectives that point others toward truth. At all times, I control myself and remind myself that it is not about me, but about how I am representing Christ.

I CAN KILL IT WITH KINDNESS

God reminded me to walk in the Spirit and not fulfil the lust of the flesh that includes hatred, hostility, outbursts of wrath, and conflict. Instead, my life should show the fruit of the Spirit — love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Gal 5:16–26). I need not allow unpleasant experiences to draw me into the lust of my flesh, but to seek the Holy Spirit’s still, small voice in guiding me through a difficult ordeal, to overcome and grow stronger because of it.

Developing the fruit of the Spirit is a lifelong process; the fruit can grow well when we stay in close relationship with God, develop spiritual habits, and stay in healthy communities in Christ who can cheer us on as we grow to be more like Jesus. When online flames threaten to engulf us, we can kill it with kindness, balanced with truth. The attacks against me took a few weeks to cool down and I’ve moved on from the incident. What remains is my desire to be a voice of truth and kindness, and to use social media for good. As we engage online with prayer, may we be a light for Christ!

The Me in Social Media

Kallos Team — Fri, 01 Apr 2022 04:49:00 +0000

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made …” (Psalm 139:13–14)

I was a teenager when the big names in social media like Facebook and Instagram were birthed — and like most teens, I was not too hesitant to jump right into something that would allow me to share my life with the world. Then I grew up and graduated, entered the creative industry, and it’s been ten whole years of doing what I know best — sharing the identities and stories of brands, much of it on social media.

In 2015, I was invited to speak at a TEDx session to an auditorium of parents of teenagers about the power of media on our minds. I titled it “The ‘Me’ in Media,” sharing about how it was easy to lose ourselves in a sea of voices telling you how and who you should be, what you should know and believe in. Today, social media is no longer just about following accounts — it’s also about following trends by miming over another person’s voice or mimicking their moves.

The fun has grown with the technology, and the cautions against it, cliché. But the truth still stands: you can lose yourself, or maybe never find out who you are, as an individual, apart from everybody else.

Two 2022 Netflix series based on real-life scammers, “The Tinder Swindler” and “Inventing Anna,” recently topped global viewing charts. Each captivated the world, with the respective stories of Simon Leviev and Anna Delvey, their outrageous identity fraud, and million-dollar scams. To me, one thing stood out about these two: an unbelievable level of delusion about who they were in comparison to who they really were. It was almost as though they believed the lies themselves.

That has to be the most dangerous con — being convinced of a reality that is not quite real. And social media is a hotbed of all sorts of virtual, created realities. Live online longer than you do in the real world, and the lines between them begin to blur.

“Who am I outside of my social media identity?” I ask myself. “Who am I, even, away from everything my friends and family know me as?” But it’s a murky self-examination for anyone. Only the One who crafted the core of our beings knows (Ps 139:13). God knows our thoughts before we think them and our words before they are spoken (139:2, 4). He has every day of our lives laid out and written down (139:16).

We need to step away from the crowd every once in a while, as Jesus often did to seek His Father (Luke 5:16). For us, that includes the great crowd and clamour of voices online. Our secret place with Him is where we can scroll through the infinite feed of His thoughts towards us (Ps 139:17), where we can invite Him to examine our hearts and point out the ways in us that diverge from His ways — that we may live by His reality and not our own (139:23–24).

Looking back, it was through my journey as a writer at Thir.st, an online Christian website and social media platform, from 2016 to 2020, that God really shaped my understanding of who He had made me to be. In my solitary reflections, as I worked on each article, His voice in my quietened spirit gently revealed His truths against the lies I had come to believe of myself. As He had done in my mother’s womb, He made the person I am online with great care and wisdom.

When someone asked me how I had the courage to share my unfiltered, imperfect life with the world, I found myself replying: When you know who you are, you stop being so scared. The “me” in social media has also been fearfully and wonderfully made.

JONK’S JOURNALS

A PRAYER
Dear Heavenly Father, I want to walk in Your identity for me, even on social media. Search me and show me where my ways online have fallen short of Your glory. Renew my mind, that I may understand who I am and should be according to how You made me. Amen.

JOURNAL THIS!
1. How has your online life been? What are you doing, and who are you following? Consider how social media is affecting your life and if it has been beneficial.

2. What would someone who follows you on social media say about you as a Christian? Less than it is about posting “Christian content,” our testimony lies in how we “live” like Christ in the online world. How would you like your online testimony to be?

KNOW THE WORD
Allow the Holy Spirit to illuminate His truths on your identity and purpose:
– Psalm 139
– Romans 12:1–3
– Acts 17:24–28

AFTERTHOUGHTS
Check out my 2015 TEDx Talk on “The ‘Me’ in Media” here.

And my story of becoming who God made me to be, written when I turned 30.

Digital Detox Challenge

Kallos Team — Mon, 01 Mar 2021 07:28:00 +0000

CHALLENGE RULES

For three days, take note of your daily time spent on social media and other media platforms such as YouTube and Netflix.
For four days, activate the timer notification on Instagram to remind you when your time on the app is up (start with 30 minutes for two days, and then 15 minutes for the next two days).
For the next two weeks, go on a digital detox. Find ways to use that time on other activities instead!

Challengers: Chloe Ng, 17

Fun Facts:
1. I am a left-hander
2. I love editing videos
3. I’m currently studying at Victoria Junior College

FIRST THOUGHTS
When I first received the challenge, I was extremely surprised at how apt the timing was. For the last two months, my screen time has been rising at an alarming rate and I am getting increasingly conscious of how bad it has become. Yet, I have been unable to bring myself to control my social media usage. During school weeks, I clocked in eight hours of screen time daily. During the school holidays, it steadily hit 11 hours. I confess — I once hit 15 hours a day! This challenge will definitely help me to manage my phone usage and not rely too much on technology.

GETTING STARTED
For the past three days, I have savoured these last few moments of “freedom” and allowed myself to use social media freely. However, the impending challenge lingers at the back of my mind; I am subconsciously aware that a high screen time is not healthy. I realise that I spend a lot of time on YouTube and on TikTok. The moment I get bored, I move on to another app. Switching between different social media apps does make me feel empty inside sometimes. Also, the moment I watch a new TV series (I just started the new Korean drama “Start Up”), I can spend hours binge-watching it. I have decided that in order to slowly ease myself into the impending challenge, I will try to exercise daily and hang out with my friends more.

TIMER TIME!
The time came to activate the 30-minute timer on my Instagram app to limit the amount of time I spend online! However, knowing that I am easily tempted, I decided to delete the app to eliminate any form of temptation! I must be honest and confess — I still eventually downloaded Instagram again due to a lack of self-control and a desire to keep up with my friends’ lives online. Yet, when the 30-minute timer went off, I actually managed to get off the app! I also decided to set time limits on YouTube and Netflix to prevent myself from consuming other sorts of media to fill up the void of Instagram. It hasn’t been easy; I hope that I will be able to fully stick to this two-week digital detox!

THE REAL CHALLENGE

Week 1
When I started the week, I had a game plan: to bring a book with me wherever I go and to fill my time with other activities like hanging out with my friends! I even got a puzzle to help curb my boredom that week. When I got the puzzle, I spent some time solving it and asking my friends to help me out too. It has been a cool and fun way for me to learn how to find other ways to enjoy my time without having to use social media. I also spent more time worshipping God these few days by quieting down my heart, listening to Christian songs, and proclaiming His truth.

Week 2
This week was tough. I just started my junior college initiation so I made a lot of new friends and Instagram has been my main way to connect with them. By the end of the first week, I really could not keep away from Instagram, but I disciplined myself to keep to the 30-minute limit daily. In all honesty, I have succumbed several times to indulging in a few extra minutes to check out someone’s profile.

Without social media, it has definitely felt quite strange and awkward at times when I suddenly realise that I have a bulk of time on my hands. I tried to fill that gap by reading more books and trying to kickstart a regular quiet time schedule again. When I have small pockets of time while waiting for my bus or commuting on public transport, I have tried to read more books, one of which is a popular book on social inequality. There have been plenty of moments when I definitely find myself drawn back to the temptation of scrolling through Instagram. I have come to the harsh realisation that cutting social media out of my life is truly harder than I thought!

FINAL THOUGHTS
In all honesty, I have struggled with deleting TikTok for awhile. I felt like it had a toxic grasp on me. It had become a platform that fed my insecurities and unrealistic expectations. The endless stream of TikToks with cute couples, perfect friendship groups, and exciting lives overseas really influenced me to chase after a worldly life that seems perfect and cool. I am very happy that I have been able to do without TikTok for the last two weeks!

Even with Instagram, I realise that I have always felt the immense need to check the number of likes on my posts or the number of people viewing my Instagram stories. Beyond that, compliments on my outfit or replies to my Instagram stories used to really make my day. It’s funny how I found happiness in comments from people I barely knew! Though I wasn’t fully able to abstain from Instagram, I feel that this challenge has given me the opportunity to be less reliant on the likes and validation that comes from Instagram and compelled me to rediscover my identity in Christ again.

With this new-found time on my hands that I used to spend mindlessly scrolling through social media, I have started connecting intentionally with people and building deeper relationships. I have more time to talk to friends I care about, arranging calls almost every night so that we can delve deeper into our lives and spend time helping and spurring each other on. This challenge has really helped me to reflect on my time spent online and to discover ways to centre my life on Christ in this digital world!

Bullied, Bully, or Bystander?

Quek Shi Yun — Thu, 26 Nov 2020 01:10:00 +0000

There’s this girl we heard about. Let’s call her Lucy. Lucy was at the prime of her school life —16, the head of her CCA, and in, by Singaporean standards, a good school. She was popular and confident. Then one day, a bad decision made her fall from the good graces of her peers. She became the victim of bullying — she was ostracised and antagonised in person, and, more damagingly, was hounded and harassed online. Lucy started barricading herself in her room and isolating herself from everyone who loved her. She refused to go to school, even deferring her ‘O’ Level examinations. She started cutting herself, and at the peak of the bullying, even a trip to the nearby supermarket terrified her.

THE INTERNET CHANGES EVERYTHING
Are you perplexed by this story? Why would a so-called “simple” case of bullying lead to such devastating effects?

According to Ms. Joanne Wong, Head of TOUCH Cyber Wellness, there are some key elements that make cyberbullying so much more destructive than physical bullying. For one, cyberbullying is often anonymous, with perpetrators able to hide their identities or create fake profiles. Fear and paranoia can easily set in when you are constantly wondering if your bully might be physically near you.

To make matters worse, cyberbullies tend to be acquainted with their victims. Ms. Wong cites examples of cases where victims are in the same chat groups, schools, classes, or CCA groups as their bullies. The victims’ social media accounts are also visible and accessible to the bullies. “In such cases, the victims had to ‘live with’ the presence of bullies, which can seriously affect their ability to learn, focus, cope and, regulate their emotions.”

Having experienced physical bullying myself (Shi Yun) as a teenager, it’s hard to imagine just how debilitating cyberbullying can be. While I was tormented by my bullies every day in school, I always knew that I would be safe once I was home. But with the Internet, this isn’t so anymore. Cyberbullying can now happen any time and anywhere. Taunts and mockery go on regardless of where you are. Knowing that there is no escape, such bullying can cause perpetual anxiety in victims even when they are in what should be the safety of their own homes. What’s more, the fact that the Internet facilitates more witnesses and malicious comments means that the shame and humiliation experienced by the victim can increase exponentially.

It is no wonder that victims like Lucy feel helpless in the face of cyberbullying and overwhelmed by its effects!

CYBERBULLYING CAN NOW HAPPEN ANY TIME AND ANYWHERE. TAUNTS AND MOCKERY GO ON REGARDLESS OF WHERE YOU ARE.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Lucy’s story isn’t a one-off case. Goh Wei-Shen, a counsellor with a social service agency, assures us that the effects of cyberbullying are very real. She’s counselled a 16-year-old girl who frequently complained of stomach cramps and feelings of nausea. These “excuses” for not going to school were really symptoms of the intense anxiety she was experiencing due to cyberbullying. In a different case, a 13-year-old girl became very withdrawn and would cry herself to sleep. She was self-harming and even attempted to end her life by overdosing on pills.

Hearing these stories just breaks our heart, and we hope it breaks yours too. But that isn’t enough to change things. So, what can you do when you encounter cyberbullying, whether you are the bullied, bully, or bystander?

TO THE BULLIED…
First of all, we grieve and stand with you. No one should be subject to the distress you have been through, and we pray that you know you are not alone. When we are bullied, it is easy to internalise all the lies spoken about us: “You’re ugly.” “You’re not worthy of love.” “You deserve to die.” These awful lies can take root in our hearts, no matter how hard we fight them. I (Shi Yun) was bullied at ten and even though the bullying eventually stopped, its effects stayed with me for years.

What saved me was a supportive family, kind bystanders who became friends, and going back to the foundation of my life — the Bible. I combatted each lie with God’s truth. God knows me personally (Luke 12:7; Ps 139:1–18). He sees my suffering and does not leave me alone (Ps 56:8; 9:9). He loves me to the extent that His Son, Jesus Christ, died for me (John 3:16; Gal 2:20)! It may surprise you that the verse that helped me break free from the pain of bullying was this command of Jesus recorded in Matthew 5:44 — “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

When the pain, anxiety and isolation overwhelmed me, I hid myself in His embrace. The emotions that come from being bullied are so very real, but so is His love. Rest in it.

TO THE BULLY…
Most of us wouldn’t want to think of ourselves as bullies. Yet, we may inadvertently be part of the problem when we choose to weigh in online with a mean remark here or a demeaning comment there, passing on gossip and baseless speculation.

Ask yourself: would you like to be at the receiving end of your unkind, intimidating words or actions? Proverb 18:21 warns us that the tongue has the power of life and death — in some bullying cases, this has turned out to be a terrible truth. Remember this: your words count, both online and offline, and the words you speak online have a real offline effect, even if you are able to remain anonymous. Pray this in earnest: “Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.” (Ps 141:3).

ASK YOURSELF: WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE AT THE RECEIVING END OF YOUR UNKIND, INTIMIDATING WORDS OR ACTIONS?

TO THE BYSTANDER…
Our message is simple: don’t just stand by. STAND UP! Rev. Chris Lee (of “British Priest Reacts” fame) told a story of the time a classmate stood up in class and viciously said to him, “No one likes you, Lee. Does anyone like Lee?” I can picture the scene — a small boy, seated with his head down, not daring to make eye contact with anyone. But another classmate spoke up: “I like him. He’s a good guy.” And just like that, the power of the bully was broken. What a beautiful image of the power you have to stand with victims of bullying! Don’t be afraid to do what is right. Take courage, and act.

BECOMING AN ADVOCATE
We know that cyberbullying is a problem. Some have even gone so far as to call it a “cyber pandemic”. God has always been on the side of victims and against bullies (Prov 3:34). His Word constantly charges us to fight for justice (Isa 1:17; Mic 6:8, Jer 22:3), and speak for the voiceless (Prov 31:8–9). As daughters of God, we pray that you see the value and dignity in each person (Gen 1:26), going beyond the behaviour of a bully or a bystander to become an advocate for those who can’t speak for themselves!

IF YOU ARE A VICTIM OF CYBERBULLYING
Here are Ms. Joanne Wong’s practical tips on what you can do if you are being bullied online:

1. Cut the bullies off. Block them online, disallow “follows” and direct messages from accounts you don’t follow, and remove them from your friends list.

2. Don’t delete the evidence — save it. Take screenshots of the online comments or private messages you receive as proof of the bullying, and monitor the frequency of bullying. See point 4.

3. Get help from a trusted adult. Keep them updated about how these incidences are affecting you personally so that they can give you the support you need.

4. Report it. With your parents, approach school teachers with evidence of the bullying. Schools in Singapore are well-positioned to jump in to protect and support you, as well as mediate between you and the bully.

5. In cases where all measures have been exhausted, you have the right to seek legal protection under the Protection Against Harassment Act. However, it is imperative to note that any legal proceedings can cause heavy mental and emotional burdens, and the family must be prepared to go through that.

Need more help? Call the TOUCHline at 1800 377 2252 (Mon–Fri, 9 am–6 pm). The helpline is manned by counsellors who will be able to assess the situation and provide the assistance and support you may need.

What Are We (Fighting) Typing For?

Benita Lim — Wed, 16 Sep 2020 03:40:00 +0000

What a year 2020 has been. It has been a constant stream of bad news — of natural disasters and civil unrest in many parts of the world and, of course, the global pandemic of Covid-19 which has created the deepest worldwide economic recession since World War II. All around the world, plans have been frustrated and movements restricted by lockdowns and travel bans. The Internet seems to have become the only sphere where we can freely roam around and shop for our needs and wants; it is where various forms of art such as free museum tours, concerts, and even memes have provided us an oasis of entertainment and escapism.

On the other hand, the Internet also has its own dark side: A battleground where netizens flame others and spread gossip on forums and comment sections, upload content that stir public sentiment, and, increasingly, promote online activism in the face of injustice, both perceived and real. You may have had been angered by the video of how a black American man named George Floyd was killed by police officers needlessly and because of this got alerted to the Black Lives Matter (BLM) movement. #MeToo has been trending for a few years now and shows no signs of slowing down. Influencers have been flamed and “cancelled” after their posts that touched on sensitive issues like sexuality and race riled up netizens.

It’s hard to know what to do. Writing our thoughts or reposting articles may make us vulnerable to critique, draw us into heated debates, and potentially get us shamed or similarly cancelled by random trolls or even people we thought were our friends. But remaining silent may signal to our online communities that we are not “woke” but rather are ignorant, or are complicit for not doing anything about the issues of the day. After a while, it gets exhausting having to scroll through all the intense drama, or sieve through the polarising information to figure out where we ourselves stand on these matters.

REMAINING SILENT MAY SIGNAL TO OUR ONLINE COMMUNITIES THAT WE ARE NOT “WOKE” BUT RATHER ARE IGNORANT, OR ARE COMPLICIT FOR NOT DOING ANYTHING.

While we are not to identify ourselves with the world that has rebelled against God, the reality is that we are in this world (John 17:15–16). But we are also the Holy Spirit-filled body of Christ that is sent to make Him known (John 17:18; Acts 1:8). How then should we engage the world as Christians, especially regarding such matters on social media? As God’s people who are called to do justice and love kindness (Micah 6:8), could we remain silent in the face of all that is happening around us and on our screens? In the face of all these heated discussions online, how are we to respond?

LISTEN.
First of all, we must remember that we are human beings engaging fellow human beings. None of us have all the answers, but we can always actively listen and prayerfully discern. Whenever someone says or posts something, there is always a reason why, valid or not. If you are triggered by what they are posting, do not comment immediately. Take a deep breath, and hold back those fingers. Consider where this person is at in life right now — what could be a possible reason why they are posting about this? On what points do you necessarily agree or disagree? Is there a need for the original poster (OP) to clarify potentially controversial statements?

Social media posts can be one-dimensional as we do not see the whole person behind the post. If this person is a friend, meeting face-to-face may reduce the potential for further misunderstanding, and gives you the opportunity to care for them as a person.

As we graciously ask questions for the sake of listening and understanding, we may find dialoguing more meaningful. For example, someone who may find certain topics a non-issue may have never been exposed to or had a relationship with people who have a very different reality. Listening will help you to realise that an argument that does not provide real-life examples may just fall on deaf ears.

AVOID JUMPING ONTO HASHTAG BANDWAGONS... HAVE YOU DONE ENOUGH RESEARCH TO MAKE A RESPONSIBLE AND CONSTRUCTIVE COMMENT?

LEARN & DISCERN.
After listening to what is behind the OP’s actions or speech, learn — what are these issues really about? Avoid jumping onto hashtag bandwagons; do you know the historical and social reasons behind these issues, and have you done enough research to make a responsible and constructive comment? Reading up on the issue, fact-checking, and speaking to friends or church members who are involved in related fields can also help you be more informed.

In turn, learning will help you to discern how controversies that happen overseas may be relevant to your own context, such as the BLM movement. For example, Singapore does have race-related issues too, but our approach to them requires nuance because we face a rather different context.

Last but not least, consider the platform you are using for your message. Will it achieve your purposes, or will it lead to further misunderstandings? For instance, talking about sensitive topics like homosexuality online may create greater unresolved conflict than real-life conversations. We need God’s wisdom and discernment more than ever.

LOVE.
Social media is designed to encourage “likes” and “shares” as quickly as possible so as to increase online revenue. It has made us more likely to thoughtlessly cancel someone for an unpopular view, or reject seemingly outdated ideas (especially by conservative/older folk) with a dismissive “OK boomer”. Failing to learn, listen, and discern will lead to us reacting too quickly with actions that tear down rather than build up (1 Cor 8:1). When we have already cancelled someone from our lives, how will we be able to share the good news of God’s grace and mercy with them? We must be merciful, for we have received mercy (1 Pet 2:10).

God does not desire for people to be cancelled, but to be prayed for and to understand His truth (1 Tim 2:4). Jesus Christ had compassion on the crowds that were troubled and helpless, “like sheep without a shepherd” (Matt 9:36–38). Jesus walked the ground and actively lived out His love and compassion for people, and His actions gave His words and character full credence. We must therefore ask ourselves as we attempt to respond to views we disagree with — have we been giving these people love apart from disputes? We may win the verbal battle, but if we fail to show God’s love to them as fellow human beings, we are nothing (1 Cor 13:1–3).

TYPE FOR HOPE!
Many issues in this world today are the result of complex reasons from yesterday which cannot be resolved with a click. God grieves along with us for the injustice in this world (Ps 10:14). But as Jesus reminds us that although there will be trouble, He has overcome the world (John 16:33). Let us leave the ultimate judgement to Him (Rom 12:19)!

REMEMBER THIS TOO: THE ONLINE MEDIUM IS NOT THE ONLY CHANNEL TO SPEAK UP OR TAKE ACTION!

However, since Jesus has sent us to the fallen world as His Spirit-filled body, let us do as He did by living with grace, wisdom, and love as a church, as sons and daughters of God. As we reach out, remember this too: the online medium is not the only channel to speak up or take action! So, take the time you need to prepare a response, or take it offline with the other person. Speak to a mature leader about your thoughts. If you feel too overwhelmed, take a break! It is OK to do so. Regardless, do listen, learn and discern, and love the human beings behind the messages. May you, too, grow in God’s grace, wisdom, and love — the very things we are typing for.

Review: Is TikTok Good Or Bad?

Kallos Team — Wed, 13 May 2020 11:54:00 +0000

Move over Instagram, TikTok is the coolest kid on the block. It is so easy to spend hours scrolling through the app, watching video after video of great choreography, humourous pranks or really creative editing skills. If you enjoy using video-editing tools, it’s really hard not to love being on the app. With stay-home notices being issued all across the globe to combat the spread of Covid-19, TikTok seems to be the most popular entertainment of choice. So, is Tik Tok good or bad?

THE CONTENT

Generally, the popular videos are enjoyable (Think dalgona coffee). A good dance here; a funny prank there. However, since anyone can upload whatever they like, there will always be creators that post videos that venture into dangerous themes such as depression, addiction and sadism, which take pleasure in harming or humiliating someone. If we’re unaware, we might not even realise that we’re on dangerous ground. Unfortunately, many popular dances have swearing and sexualised lyrics, and it is common to see revealing clothes and suggestive dancing. Most of us don’t really understand how what we watch can impact our psychology and emotional wellbeing but trust me, or rather, research, what we watch can impact us more than we think. Enjoy the creative energy on TikTok! However, if you find yourself lingering on a video type or trend that you suspect may not be good, be quick to ask your parents or church leaders about it. Stay open to wise counsel, and be quick to flee from even a hint of danger.

Another dark side of Tik Tok is that it has been used to prey on young women who post lip-synching, dancing videos. “Creepy Tik Toks” have been outed by young women who have been preyed upon by older men with fake identities, sexualised messages or videos, but users still report that security measures like reporting inappropriate content are not enough. Practise cybersafety by taking advantage of the privacy controls, and determine if your account is private, set who can watch certain videos and duet with you, and turn on comment filters. If you receive an inappropriate message, do not hesitate to report it.

THE TIME SPENT

Time is SO precious! Now that I’m earning an income, I seriously consider how I want to spend the money I have. If I spent it all away on expensive coffee everyday, I wouldn’t be able to afford anything else! It will do us good to consider our time in the same way. If we spent all our time away on TikTok, we wouldn’t be able to afford anything else! Is there something more valuable that we’re giving up? If you feel like you just can’t delete the app from your phone, perhaps it’s the clearest signal to delete the app now and save some time for things that truly matter.

THE VERDICT:

In itself, the app is not bad. It’s like … a knife. What’s important is how we use it! We can use it for bad, but it can also be used for good. There are so many content creators on social media platforms like YouTube and Instagram that choose to put up positive, thoughtful and kind content, and believe it or not, they may go a long way in someone’s life. You’ll never know what God can do with it to impact someone’s life! Before you think TikTok is something irrelevant to your Christian faith, remember – God has used a donkey before.

Review: To All the Boys (P.S. I Still Love You); Worth The Time?

Hannah Leung — Tue, 24 Mar 2020 04:00:00 +0000

WARNING: SPOILER ALERT!

YAY: Learning to Reconcile

Lara Jean is insecure because of her boyfriend Peter’s past relationship with Gen. She is shaken to the core when she finds out that Peter met Gen to help her go through her parents’ separation. She calls off the relationship in a moment of frustration.

When we think about dealing with insecurities, we often turn to self- love, self-affirmation and self-validation. However, Lara Jean fended off her insecurity by reaching out to Gen and seeking reconciliation. As their hearts softened towards one another, the animosity she felt towards Gen disappeared, leaving her room to see Gen not as a threat, but a friend. Respect, girl! (Though if your boyfriend is constantly keep close to his ex, you probably need to have some healthy conversations about it!)

YAY: Forgive, forgive, forgive

Peter and Lara Jean exchanged many careless words in their moments of anger, but one thing they did well was to forgive. Lara Jean forgave Peter for coming half a day late to their coffee date (that is truly respectable patience!), while Peter forgave Lara Jean for her incoherent rant after their awkward treehouse reunion.

In the last scene as Lara Jean and Peter reconcile at the steps of Belleview, they exchanged “I love you”s. While simple, their words were weighty, because in saying “I love you,” they were really saying “I forgive you for all that you have done to me, and for all that you made me feel. I choose to leave the past behind and build up the love that we presently share.”

One of my favourite relationship advice is by Ruth Graham Bell, who said that “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” Forgiving involves putting the other above yourself. Is not Jesus’ ultimate act of love on the cross one of forgiveness?

NAY: The Source of Wisdom

Toward the end, Stormy drops a quotable quote as Lara Jean admits that she kissed John Ambrose while confused about her relationship with Peter. Stormy assures Lara Jean that “sometimes you have to kiss the wrong man to know what’s right.” It sounds assuring at first, but take note; her advice seems to justify trying out different relationships simultaneously to “know what is right”. While experience is a good teacher, it is not the source of wisdom that enables us to choose wisely. So if you’ve never had experience in dating, take heart! God guides us in all things, including how we date, and eventually who we may marry. While Stormy is charming, her words — not so much. Tune your ears to the Holy Spirit instead!

Review: Kanye West’s “Jesus is King”; Should We Listen?

Quek Shi Yun — Fri, 24 Jan 2020 04:00:00 +0000

When reports first came out about Kanye West’s by-invite-only ‘Sunday Services’ and his seeming conversion to Christianity, I read them with a measure of scepticism. I wondered, is this just going to be yet another celebrity who jumps on the Christian bandwagon in order to advance his career?

Surprisingly, I’ve come to the conclusion that it probably isn’t. While the first half of Jesus Is King seems to focus more on Kanye than Christ, that is, in part, intentional. The album is meant to be listened to as a whole, with the first half reflecting his struggle with God and his faith.

However, the second half of the album after “Everything We Need” was a surprise. As his struggle with God seems to come to a resolution, his lyrics convey genuine faith and belief in Christ. For example, on “God Is,” he sings, “I can’t keep it to myself, I can’t sit here and be still/ Everybody, I will tell ’til the whole world is healed.” On “Jesus is Lord,” the lyrics come straight out of the Bible: “Every knee shall bow/ Every tongue confess/ Jesus is Lord” (Rom 14:11). On “Hands On,” he acknowledges his past wrongs, and calls out Christians who have judged him during his conversion. However, he also pleads, “But I have a request, you see/ Don’t throw me up, lay your hands on me/ Please, pray for me.”

As I listened to Jesus Is King, I was moved by Kanye’s sincerity, and couldn’t help but wonder what was the point of me doubting his faith. Luke 15:1–7 speaks of how heaven rejoices when even one sinner returns home — shouldn’t I rejoice as well? In many ways, Kanye’s faith seems genuine.

So, is the album worth a listen? I would say, sure, but with discretion. Kanye is clearly no theologian or worship leader, and neither does he set out to be. His album isn’t meant to be a worship album, though many of the songs are inherently worshipful as they praise the name of Jesus. If Jesus is King, then Kanye is just like all of us — a sinner in need of grace, on a journey of learning how to be more like Christ.

Instead of being cynical about Kanye’s conversion, perhaps it would be better for us to pray for Kanye as a brother, and ask God to let His name be lifted high for the world to see — even if it is through the unlikeliest of persons!

Spotlight: Willa Jin’s Story On Redesigning The Bible For A Visual Generation

Quek Shiwei — Sun, 24 Nov 2019 04:00:00 +0000

Do you love the Bible but sometimes find it inaccessible due to the way it is presented? The co-founders of LA-based company Alabaster Co, Bryan and Brian, had the very same thought, and desired to create a Bible with beautiful imagery and thoughtful design. The success of their 2016 Kickstarter campaign has led to the expansion of their brainchild to the Bible Beautiful series and a growing group of staff. The company’s name, Alabaster Co, was inspired by the act of the woman who broke her alabaster jar of perfume on Jesus’ feet. Whilst everyone deemed that act as a waste, Jesus deemed it beautiful.

Speaking with Willa, the first full-time staff in the company and the only female on the team, it is easy to see her passion for her work. Even though we were separated by a 12-hour time difference and computer screens, her bubbly personality and thoughtfulness in speech was larger than life! My short online interview with her made one thing evident — her life is beautiful and surrendered, just like the woman who broke her alabaster jar at Jesus’ feet.

Hi Willa! Tell us, what about the company’s vision attracted you to become its first employee?

I actually knew Bryan and Brian when we were in the same campus ministry. Then, they were wondering, “What if we could redesign the Bible to merge art, faith, and creativity into one product?” When they won the Kickstarter campaign in 2016, as a friend, I was so excited to see how their dream became an actual product. In 2017, they needed help with all the orders. They gathered a group of friends who helped to pack and ship all the orders. I was one of those friends in the warehouse packing all the orders and getting excited over a product that made me want to read the Bible and deepen my understanding of God. In 2018, when they realised that people actually really liked the product, they started thinking about building Alabaster as a business! So in 2018, I worked part-time with Alabaster (alongside my full-time job). I was answering emails, calls, and doing random things on the side till the beginning of this year 2019. That was when Bryan and Brian decided to go full-time with Alabaster. They happened to reach out to me. I was really dissatisfied with my job at the time and I wanted to see if there was anything out there that suited me better. And here I am — working full-time with Alabaster Co.

“Operations Director” sounds like a big role. Help us to understand what that means for you on a daily basis.

One of our main focuses in Alabaster Co is creating an excellent product. My role encompasses the daily operations of business: from systems, to work flow and ensuring things are running efficiently. I also manage shipping of orders to customers. Actually, I also oversee accounting matters and talent management. It seems like a bunch of roles merged together! But because we are a small team, everyone takes on a range of roles.

I FEEL LIKE, FOR THE FIRST TIME, I AM WORKING IN A PLACE WHERE MY VOICE IS HEARD.

How does such a small team do so much?

Right now, we have five people on the team — three are full-time staff and two are part-time. The nature of a start-up company means more responsibilities. However, what keeps us going is knowing what our common vision is: for all of humanity to experience God as good and beautiful. It may be a lot of work but it will be worth it eventually when our vision becomes a tangible reality.

What unique challenges do you have to overcome as the only female in your team?

Honestly, there’s not much of a challenge. I genuinely feel empowered in my job every day when I go to work! I feel like, for the first time, I am working in a place where my voice is heard and where people push and challenge me into greater roles and responsibilities. It actually makes me feel sad that feeling empowered hasn’t always been a norm for me at other workplaces — it feels so normal in Alabaster Co! That encourages me take on different challenges, make decisions, and be confident in myself in my role.

How did you become a Christian?

I grew up in a non-religious household. Growing up, I had a couple of experiences with Christianity, but they put me off. I went into college vaguely agnostic actually. I just wanted to explore and have fun. That led to a lot of partying in my first year of college. Eventually, that lifestyle took a toll on me and left me wanting something more.

I started thinking about whether there was more meaning to my life and who I am. My roommate was a Christian and part of the campus ministry. She invited me to Bible studies and gatherings. Eventually, she invited me to a conference that was specially for non-Christians. I ended up going on a whim, but I experienced a level of love and community that I never experienced before. It was also the first time I learnt about who Jesus was and what it really meant to follow Him. I gave my life to Jesus at the end of the conference. It felt like a sudden decision but looking back, it was really the prompting of the Holy Spirit that led to this decision. Thereafter, I joined campus ministry in college and started growing my faith ever since.

Having not been a Christian for long, what reactions did you get from friends and family when they found out you were planning to work in a Christian company?

Being the first believer in my family, my family didn’t know what to make of it. They thought it was a phase and I would get out of it. But they soon realised I was serious about my decision and got a little worried about what I was doing with my life. Towards the end of my senior year of college, I was actually considering going full-time with campus ministry or a missions organisation. My parents realised that Christianity wasn’t something I did on the side, but it was now my identity. I went through a rough patch with my parents when they didn’t really agree with what I wanted to do and who I wanted to become. I ended up not going into ministry to work things out with my family first.

I studied biomedical engineering in college and did that after graduation to make my parents happy. When a position with Alabaster Co turned into a full-time opportunity early this year, I knew I wanted to do that. There was definitely a lot of fear. I was taught that having a stable job and money are very important. Leaving a stable job to join a start-up was daunting. Ultimately, my parents care for me and want me to be happy even though they didn’t understand how joining Alabaster Co will be “good for me”. It’s still an ongoing process with them — both with my job and with me as a Christian.

Overall, I’m really grateful for where I’ve ended up; I know God has called me here.

What's next for you and Alabaster Co?

There are a lot of exciting things ahead! We are working on new books, product ideas, and creative content, through which we hope to continue expanding our vision — to see all of humanity experience God as good and beautiful.

I personally am inspired to be a part of that process. I know that there’s still a lot of growth ahead for me, so I’m looking forward to the challenges and joys to come!