WARNING: SPOILER ALERT!
YAY: Learning to Reconcile
Lara Jean is insecure because of her boyfriend Peter’s past relationship with Gen. She is shaken to the core when she finds out that Peter met Gen to help her go through her parents’ separation. She calls off the relationship in a moment of frustration.
When we think about dealing with insecurities, we often turn to self- love, self-affirmation and self-validation. However, Lara Jean fended off her insecurity by reaching out to Gen and seeking reconciliation. As their hearts softened towards one another, the animosity she felt towards Gen disappeared, leaving her room to see Gen not as a threat, but a friend. Respect, girl! (Though if your boyfriend is constantly keep close to his ex, you probably need to have some healthy conversations about it!)
YAY: Forgive, forgive, forgive
Peter and Lara Jean exchanged many careless words in their moments of anger, but one thing they did well was to forgive. Lara Jean forgave Peter for coming half a day late to their coffee date (that is truly respectable patience!), while Peter forgave Lara Jean for her incoherent rant after their awkward treehouse reunion.
In the last scene as Lara Jean and Peter reconcile at the steps of Belleview, they exchanged “I love you”s. While simple, their words were weighty, because in saying “I love you,” they were really saying “I forgive you for all that you have done to me, and for all that you made me feel. I choose to leave the past behind and build up the love that we presently share.”
One of my favourite relationship advice is by Ruth Graham Bell, who said that “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” Forgiving involves putting the other above yourself. Is not Jesus’ ultimate act of love on the cross one of forgiveness?
NAY: The Source of Wisdom
Toward the end, Stormy drops a quotable quote as Lara Jean admits that she kissed John Ambrose while confused about her relationship with Peter. Stormy assures Lara Jean that “sometimes you have to kiss the wrong man to know what’s right.” It sounds assuring at first, but take note; her advice seems to justify trying out different relationships simultaneously to “know what is right”. While experience is a good teacher, it is not the source of wisdom that enables us to choose wisely. So if you’ve never had experience in dating, take heart! God guides us in all things, including how we date, and eventually who we may marry. While Stormy is charming, her words — not so much. Tune your ears to the Holy Spirit instead!
